by India Lee
Gemma tore open the envelope and pulled out a handwritten card. Tyler’s handwriting was a neat, boyish cursive that made her smile. Bee, Wherever you are, I hope everything has gotten to you and that you’re not lonely. I wanted to do what I could to keep you company and figured you’d feel most at home among other fantasy creatures. Once upon a time, I thought a person like you couldn’t possibly be real, but I was wrong. – Tyler
~
Gemma was thankful it was the last day of school before the holiday break. After three solid months without Queen Bee and her social circle as part of her life, Tyler’s letter felt something like the tipping point. She walked through the hallways in a daze that was pleasurable one second and irritating the next. He had succeeded in immersing her in the fantasy world with his ridiculous gifts and the beautiful choker and the heart-racing letter. But could she really call it fantasy? After all, it was once her life.
She worried that Lucas would find her distant at lunch. Instead, he seemed just as lost in thought. Gemma knew Tyler’s extravagant gift had upset him, though he clearly didn’t want to admit to it. After school, he even opted to return home instead of spend some time with her. She would have been upset if she hadn’t been hoping for some time alone.
When she got to her bedroom, Gemma found another box. It was sealed more tightly than the other gifts. She knew Mira had kept a close surveillance on the first couple that arrived, but since being lulled into the monotony of stuffed animals and figurines, she had stopped bothering to check the boxes before giving them to Gemma.
Gemma grabbed a scissor, shearing through the tape and paper that contained whatever was inside. With packaging material littered around her, she finally reached the middle of the box. Gemma reached in, pulling out an iPhone. She turned it on. The wallpaper was a picture of Tyler waving, a dorky grin on his face. Gemma laughed. There was already a text message alert. She opened the text. And in case inanimate objects aren’t good enough company, you should give me a call.
~
Gemma tried to ignore the worried glances of her aunt and parents as she threw her suitcase into the trunk of Gavin’s BMW. It was the eve of Christmas Eve, and she was on her way to Vermont with Gavin to meet up with some of his fraternity brothers. Mira, Malcolm and Emily stood on the front porch, arms crossed stoically as they waited to wave goodbye. It had been some time since Gemma had left Mira’s sight.
“Man, why won’t they just go inside already? It’s like they know,” Gavin said, slamming the trunk shut. He waved sarcastically up the driveway like a beauty queen, wearing a big exaggerated smile.
“They’re going to know something’s up if you keep acting like a creep,” Gemma said.
“Acting like a creep is my default, Gem, it makes them think that everything is normal.”
“Well, at this point, I’m pretty sure a part of Aunt Mira will always think that I’m lying or going against her in some way,” she muttered as she slid into the passenger seat, immediately reclining in her chair. She had prepared for the trip by staying up the entire night before, determined to sleep away the five-hour drive. Gavin had been committed to the idea of road tripping like the rest of his friends. Gemma had no say in the matter considering the favor he was already doing her by letting her come along.
“You are lying and going against her,” Gavin pointed out. He gave one last wave through the windshield before driving off.
“True,” Gemma said. Against you too, she thought with a pang of guilt. She couldn’t tell Gavin whom it was that she was actually meeting in Vermont. He would never stand by it, and the fact alone should have indicated to Gemma that it was wrong to see Tyler, but she couldn’t stop herself. She had already made the plans and mentally prepared.
“So what do you plan on doing with Big Boobs and Crazypants?” Gavin asked.
“Their names are Zoe and Harper,” Gemma corrected with a laugh. “Rude.”
“What? True, not rude,” Gavin said. “Maybe both.”
By the time they reached Connecticut, Gemma was fast asleep. She remained that way until they arrived in Vermont. “Pothole!” Gavin said loudly as the car hit a bump before pulling into the stone driveway. Gemma jolted awake.
“Ouch,” she groaned, holding her head where she had hit it against the window. “Did you drive into that on purpose?”
“Yeah. Get out of my car, I’m going snowboarding like, right now,” Gavin said excitedly. He went to retrieve his board from the trunk. “Zoe’s gonna pick you up right? Do you need me to drive you anywhere?”
“No.”
“Good, because I wasn’t going to.”
Gemma shook her head with an eye roll. “I’m going inside to freshen up really quick.”
“Whatever, I’m gonna go meet up with everyone. Bye!” Gavin called at her before disappearing with his snowboard. Gemma laughed, more than grateful for his lack of supervision regarding her exact whereabouts.
Once inside Gavin’s empty cabin, Gemma texted Tyler the address. By the time she was finished changing and pulling on her long blonde wig, she received a call from Tyler’s driver, who was already waiting outside. She hurried down the stairs and slipped into the black sedan, her heart racing as she began to fully realize what she was getting herself into.
She brushed the platinum tresses out of her face, hoping she had done a decent job of disguising herself. Though she hadn’t used any of the proper accessories to put on the wig, it still looked right, and that was all that mattered to Gemma.
Upon reaching a private, wooded area, Gemma knew that she was close to Tyler’s cabin. She closed her eyes and breathed deeply, trying desperately to calm her nerves.
“Here we are, miss,” the driver said.
Gemma opened her eyes, her eyebrows ascending as she admired the scenery. Behind the luxurious cabin was a breathtaking view of snow-topped mountains. However, she could only gaze for so long before wanting to hurry inside and see Tyler. Once the driver handed her a set of keys, she bounded to open the front door, pushing through excitedly.
“Hello?” she called as she stepped inside. Her eyes wandered about the cabin, admiring its rustic yet elegant charm. A fire was already crackling in the stone-framed fireplace, the candles in the antique chandelier already lit. There was even a fully decorated Christmas tree. It was cozy and romantic and more perfect than Gemma could have imagined.
“Bee!”
Gemma looked up the stairs to see Tyler, smiling with boyish excitement. He looked laid back and adorable in his gray V-neck sweater and jeans.
“Hey,” she grinned, standing still as he walked down the steps. She felt frozen in her nervousness, and as much as she tried to call on Queen Bee, she couldn’t. She had reached a point with Tyler where she was just as much Gemma as she was Bee. She couldn’t tell if that was a good or bad thing.
“Hey.” Tyler greeted her with a tender hand on her cheek and a kiss on the lips. Gemma giggled shyly when he pulled away. He shook his head with a smile, as if in disbelief that she was truly standing before him. “I’m glad you made it. I missed you, Bee.”
“I missed you too.”
He shoved his hands in his pockets. “Are you hungry at all?” he asked, breaking into a sheepish grin. “I tried cooking for us. Like, really cooking, but I almost burned this place down.”
“Aw, that’s so sweet!” Gemma cooed, loosening up. “It’s okay, silly, don’t worry.”
Tyler shook his head. “I had a good restaurant send some things over,” he said, nodding towards the next room. Gemma followed him into the beautiful timber frame kitchen. Her eyes widened at the array of gourmet food covering multiple surfaces. On the counter were mussels, seared scallops, lobster salad, and mushroom toast. On the main dining table were delectable dishes of duck breast, hanger steak, seared salmon, and pork loin. “I, uh,” Tyler laughed at himself. “I got everything.”
Gemma stared and blinked for a few seconds before bursting out laughing. “Tyler! This is too much! Like, really, a
ctually too much.”
Tyler shook his head at himself. “I know. I was overcompensating for my botched cooking job.” He smiled at her sweetly. “I just wanted to give you everything.”
Gemma softened, turning to him and putting both hands on his chest. “Why?”
“Because I want to make you happy,” he answered simply.
“You make me happy,” she said. She didn’t feel guilty for meaning it either. Her hands found his and pulled his body closer. Tyler let out a sigh of contentment. Gemma could tell that she was melting him with every gesture of affection.
“Did I tell you yet,” his eyes swept her body. “That you look incredible?”
Gemma shook her head. “Tell me,” she said coyly.
Tyler put his hand on her shoulder and slid it to the side, bringing the loose neckline of her sweater dress with him. He gazed at her bare skin. “Every time I see you,” he murmured. “You look better. And it drives me crazy.”
Gemma smiled, touching her forehead to his chest. The crackling of the fire in the next room was lulling her into a warm, fuzzy calm. She felt as if she had had a few drinks, though of course she hadn’t. It may simply have been the effect of Tyler’s hands stroking the small of her back. If it wasn’t that, it could have been his lips, which had begun trailing across her collarbone in the way that drove her crazy. His hands dipped even lower as he kissed her neck, warming her entire body.
By the time his lips found hers, they had both made their way to the leather couch in the next room. His kiss started soft but quickly grew heated and urgent. He lifted her onto his hips. Gemma moved in a rhythm against his body as she straddled him. She breathed hard at the sounds of his satisfaction, almost overwhelmed by her excitement.
She opened her eyes, unaware that she had even been closing them. Her lips curved into a smile as Tyler kissed her through her clothing, but as she gazed at the crackling fireplace, her smile slowly faded. Something about the room reminded her of something. Or someone.
Of Lucas. Perhaps it was the design or the carpentry. Or the memory of falling asleep with him in front of her fireplace last year. He was with Madison then, Gemma reminded herself with annoyance. Despite that, she put her hands on Tyler’s chest and pushed away.
“I’m sorry,” she let out a breath.
Tyler blinked. “What’s wrong?”
Gemma looked at him. He was panting for breath, practically still in the moment. She couldn’t bring herself to tell him.
“I just can’t do this,” Gemma shook her head. She stood up flustered, brushing the blonde hair from her face. “I’m sorry, Tyler. I actually… shouldn’t have come here at all.”
“What are you talking about?” Tyler asked with frustration. “Can you talk to me, Bee, please?”
Gemma shook her head, her voice cracking. “I can’t explain it all.”
Tyler took in a deep breath as he stood up, holding her hands in his. Gemma could tell that he was trying his hardest to be supportive. “You know you can tell me anything.”
She stared at him, trying to somehow detect his morals through the expression on his face. Maybe he would understand. A shameful part of her hoped that he would, so much so much that he wouldn’t care. Gemma stared into his honey brown eyes. “I have a boyfriend,” she said.
Tyler released her hands immediately.
“Tyler,” she started as he began to back up from her. While his body language seemed calm, she could see fury in his eyes. “Tyler, can you just – ”
“This whole time, Bee?” he yelled. Gemma froze, stunned by the sheer volume of his voice. “For how long?” His eyes were desperate. “Before or after the vacation?”
Gemma swallowed hard. “Before.”
“How – how could you think that this was okay? Everything between us. How could you think any of that was okay if you were already with someone?”
Gemma felt hot with embarrassment. “I have no idea,” she realized. “I don’t think I was thinking.”
“Obviously not,” Tyler laughed scornfully. “Why didn’t you just tell me I was wasting my time with you? Instead of letting me be this… other guy. It’s disgusting.” His words cut through Gemma, leaving her more ashamed than she had ever felt before in her life.
“I’m sorry, Tyler.” It was all she could say as she wiped hot tears from her cheeks. She could barely even process what was happening. Everything had unfolded so quickly. The months of secrets had unraveled with one short sentence. Gemma eyed her luggage, still sitting beside the front door.
Before she knew it, she was running outside in the snowy cold. All she wanted was to be away from Tyler and the immense shame in her heart, though the latter had a way with sticking to her. Thinking about what she had done and how long she had let it go on for made her want to hide forever.
“Bee!”
Tyler’s footsteps were behind her. She had bolted out of the house despite his protests of concern. The fact that he was still capable of being kind made her feel that much worse.
“At least let me get you a car,” he called.
Gemma ignored him, though he quickly caught up to her.
“Bee. Let me get you a car,” he said with stern exasperation.
“I’m fine walking,” Gemma hiccupped. Crying was never a good look on her. “My brother’s cabin isn’t far. Just let me go, Tyler, and we won’t have to see each other ever again, okay?” It wasn’t something she wanted, but she couldn’t see any other option at that moment. She looked into Tyler’s eyes, which still bore an expression of fiery anger. She had never seen him look that way, and it filled her body with regret for ever having met him.
He stood staring at her for what felt like an eternity. “Fine. Bye.”
~
Just five minutes from Tyler’s cabin, Gemma realized her mistake of not accepting a ride. It was freezing out and she was hardly dressed for trudging through the snow. Her tears were icy, stinging her face as she wondered how on earth she had gotten to this point.
Suddenly cutting through the pitch black of night were two headlights on high beam. Gemma felt nervous as the car rolled to a stop beside her and the driver’s side window came down.
“Miss Bee?” The same driver that had driven her to Tyler’s house poked his head out the window. “Please get in. Tyler wanted me to take you where you need to go.” Shivering from the cold, Gemma jumped into the car without another thought. She cried as silently as she could, thankful that the driver had chosen not to question why. The image of Tyler’s anger still shook her and was only made worse with his relentlessly kind gesture of sending someone to find her.
Gavin’s cabin was still completely empty by the time she reached it. She was grateful for that despite her worry about him snowboarding in the dark of the night. All she wanted to do was go to sleep and then go home the next morning. She would just have to convince Gavin to let her take his car despite the fact that she had yet to drive since receiving her license.
After ripping off her wig and stuffing it into her bag, Gemma searched the bedrooms for the one with Gavin’s luggage. When she found it, she collapsed numbly into a chair in the room, her legs tired and her head lost in a foggy cloud of gloom. She brought her knees to her chin and leaned to the side, falling quickly asleep.
She awoke the next morning to a particularly loud snore by Gavin, who was passed out in bed. Just as she figured that he hadn’t been fazed by her surprise visit, she noticed a messily scribbled note sitting on the ottoman in front of her. She read it. WTF are you doing here? You scared the shit out of me when I got back. You should’ve at least texted and given me a heads up. I thought you were a psycho intruder and was THIS close to smacking you in the head with my board. My heart is still beating crazy fast. Wake me up when you wake up.
Gemma blinked at the note. Under normal circumstances, she would have laughed, but she was still in a hazy state of sorrow. Even if she had found the note funny, she suspected her laughter would express itself in the form of tears
, since she had felt constantly on the brink of them since leaving Tyler’s cabin. Gemma had pushed the incident to the back of her head, and she knew that the moment she let herself think about it, she would be a mess of hiccups and tears again.
“Gavin,” she croaked from her chair, her throat dry and scratchy. “Gavin.” When he still didn’t wake, Gemma reluctantly stood up and poked him in the shoulder. “Gavin, I’m waking you up like you said.” It finally took a hard punch in the arm for him to wake up.
“Huh?” he somehow managed to snore the word. When his groggy eyes finally focused, he knit his brows immediately. “Gemma, why are you here? Did you see my note? You scared the shit out of me. Why are you here? Is everything okay?” he asked all in one breath.
“I’m fine,” Gemma lied. “But I need to go home now so can I borrow your car and maybe you can hitch a ride back with one of your friends?”
Gavin’s eyes dulled. “Uh-huh. You’re not fine.”
“I promise I am. Can I take your car or not? I need to get home,” Gemma pleaded.
“What did Zoe do? Was it Harper? What happened?” Gavin asked angrily, getting out of bed and hastily pulling on his jacket. “Was it both of them? What’d they do?”
“Calm down!” Gemma scolded. “You’re acting like you’re about to go beat them up. Just relax, okay? They didn’t do anything.”
Gavin stopped and sighed. “I wasn’t going to beat them up, I was going to give them a stern talking to. Or something.”
“It wasn’t them, so just calm yourself.”
“What do you mean it wasn’t them? Who was it then?” Gavin questioned, arms crossed sternly. However when he saw the tears forming in Gemma’s eyes, he softened. “Alright, get your stuff,” he mumbled. “I’ll drive you home.”
