by Cowan, Debra
He narrowly missed slicing the tip of his finger with the knife he used to halve the bagels. Remembering was the worst thing he could do and not only because it might cost him more blood.
Several minutes later, she walked into the kitchen, shaking her hair free from a loose knot she’d piled on her head. She eased to the side of the front windows, checking outside the way Gage had. Good.
Turning, she padded toward him wearing socks, slim jeans and a thick blue sweater that made her eyes glitter like sapphires. “How’s it going?”
“Found bagels and coffee.” There were dark circles under her eyes. “How are you doing? About the shooting?”
“I don’t know. I’m not sure how I’m supposed to be.” Looking subdued, she peeked into the bag. “If we need anything, we can go into Broken Bow. We should probably get you at least a sweatshirt and another long-sleeved shirt. All you have are short-sleeved T-shirts and underwear.”
“You can’t go to town.” The faint scents of soap and her apricot body wash teased him. Her skin glowed with a sheen of dampness. “You could easily be spotted.”
Irritation crossed her face. “Right.”
They sat down at the round stone-topped table to eat and silence hung heavy between them. Vibrating with regret and apology and shades of the past.
Gage had plenty of that stuff in the present, too. “I called the Attorney General and told him what happened last night. Once we get to Oklahoma City, we can give our statements, answer any questions we need to.”
She swallowed visibly. “What about…the body?”
“Ken will handle it and inform all the appropriate authorities.”
“I guess that includes the Marshals Service.”
“Yeah. They already know their computer system was breached and Ken will let them know that the witnesses should be switched again to new handlers.”
“Does that mean you’ll get one, too?”
“I refused,” he said tightly. He didn’t trust anyone with Meredith’s life. “There’s no way I’m taking a chance that another marshal could be coerced into killing me. Or you.”
The apprehension on her face had every muscle in his body clenching against the urge to hold her. He couldn’t stop looking at her. As he studied the magnolia smoothness of her face, the gentle sweep of her jaw, he recalled the sweet taste of her skin, her mouth.
Meredith fixed him with a look over her coffee cup, making him realize he had been staring.
He wasn’t apologizing, especially when he saw a delicate blush on her face and knew it was hueing her breasts, too.
Her eyes went frosty. “You said you’d fill me in on what was going on.”
As much as he hated it, she deserved to know what they were up against.
Shoulders tense, he explained in detail how he’d come to be shot and had escaped by taking the marshal’s car. How he had then exchanged the sedan for his SUV at the automobile garage where he worked. “The laptop I have is Nowlin’s. When I switched cars, I took it, hoping to find something on there about who wants me killed. I haven’t found anything like that yet, but when I was looking around on it yesterday, I came across a schematic of a ventilation system.”
She frowned. “All the fires associated with that arson ring started in ventilation systems.”
“Yeah.” She’d kept up with the case. Interesting.
She squirmed, giving him a look that told him he was watching her too intently. Tough.
“That’s too much of a coincidence. Less than two weeks before the trial starts, the marshal assigned to me is threatened and I’m nearly killed. A diagram for a ventilation system—part of the signature of the arsonist behind the fire-for-hire ring—just happens to show up on his computer? No.”
“Does the diagram identify the building?”
“No, but I think it’s the Oklahoma County courthouse. It’s the one place where all the investigators in WitSec will meet.”
“Could the drawing be of a system in another building? Could he have it for another reason?”
“What would it be?” He tore his gaze from her luscious mouth. Damn, he was pathetic. “If Nowlin got the schematic for a legitimate reason, like to plan security, why didn’t he have blueprints of the whole building? There’s no way this is a fluke. No, whoever threatened Nowlin is planning to do something using a ventilation system and the Oklahoma County courthouse is the logical place.”
“And they’re going to try and kill as many task-force members as possible,” she said hoarsely. “Including you.”
He wanted to deny it, wanted to reassure her. He couldn’t.
If possible, her face paled even more. “Can’t you tell the cops you suspect Larry James of being the person behind the arson ring and have them pick him up?”
“I’ve got nothing solid on him, even though I’ve been working on that the whole time I’ve been in witness protection.”
“By doing what?”
“Trying to figure out the composition for an accelerant that leaves no trace after it burns.” Gage attempted to focus solely on the discussion, not about putting his hands on her body. “Not in wood, fabric, cement, nothing.”
“Then how do you know an accelerant’s being used?”
“By the speed of the burn, the distortion of certain objects, points of origin. Someone has invented an agent that disappears. That requires extensive fire knowledge. I’ve tested dozens of different chemical combinations, trying to figure it out and so far, I haven’t been able to.”
“Would learning that help lead you to who’s behind the arson ring?”
“It might point me in the right direction. As of now, it’s the only possible lead I have, so I can’t ignore it.”
“Do you need a lab to do that?”
“No. I’ve been doing tests on my own and keeping notes.”
“So you could work on it here.”
“Yeah, but I need my notes and some photos I have that show the same burn pattern was found at all the fire scenes in question. Proof that the same accelerant was used.”
One look at his face and she blew out an exasperated breath. “Let me guess. They’re at your house in Texarkana and you want to go there.”
He nodded. “As soon as possible.”
“Of course you do,” she said drily. “You’ve gone a whole six hours without bleeding or reopening your wound.”
“Meredith, I need to do this.”
“I know,” she muttered. After a moment, she sighed. “Will you at least rest a little longer? You lost more blood when you fought with Nowlin last night.”
“How about midafternoon?”
“All right.” She leaned toward him, reaching out as if to touch his jaw, then pulling back. “You have a bruise there. Your knuckles are probably banged up, too.”
He glanced down so she wouldn’t see how badly he wanted her to touch him. He wanted to take her hand and kiss her palm, run his tongue across the delicate blue veins on the inside of her wrist.
She must’ve seen the intent on his face because her eyes narrowed and she pushed her chair away from the table. “I’ll keep watch while you take a bath.”
“All right.” He needed to follow her lead and stick to the present. There was plenty to handle without dwelling on the gut-twisting ache he had for her. “It’s less than a two-hour drive to Texarkana. I don’t want you to go—”
“So, you don’t need me anymore,” she broke in hopefully. “I could—”
“I wasn’t finished,” he gritted out, irritated at how anxious she seemed to get away from him. Of course, why wouldn’t she be? “I don’t want you to go to Texarkana with me, but you have to. You sure as hell can’t go back to your lake house or to Presley. And there’s no way I’m leaving you alone. As much as you hate the idea, you’re stuck with me until this is over.”
He didn’t like the idea much himself. Not only because he’d never forgive himself if something happened to her, but also because the longer they were together, the harder i
t became to keep his hands off her.
Meredith exhaled a shaky breath as she finished covering Gage’s bandage and left him to take a bath. His blue eyes had been hot and intense on her. She needed some space and she wasn’t going to get it anytime soon.
Stuck with him, he’d said.
Seven more days. She would be with him that long or until they got to Oklahoma City. What had started out as annoyance at his announcement had turned to panic. Because she’d spent the past thirty minutes trying to ignore his frank male appraisal. Because she’d dreamed about him. Them.
One night on the same mattress and boom. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d dreamed about him before this. Her jaw clamped so tight she felt a twinge in her cheek. She was restless and hot and mad. She’d been that way since waking up next to him, feeling his warmth like a touch. Glimpsing the dark hunger in his eyes.
When she had climbed into bed with him last night, she knew she could be tempting herself, tempting him, but she’d done it anyway. Because there was no way she was sleeping alone after killing that man.
She was an idiot. She’d thought getting away from her lake house and going somewhere else would be better because there would be no memories in the new place. They wouldn’t be in every shadow or corner or possession she touched. But this was just as bad.
While Gage was in the bath, she cleaned bagel crumbs from the table and swept the floor. Called her parents and told them it was taking longer down here than she’d expected.
Wandering to the small living area, the quiet pulsed around her. Everything kept at bay by thoughts of Gage caught up to her—shooting the marshal, nearly being shot herself, the fear, the fight, the blood.
Just like that, tears started. She sank down onto the red leather sofa, dabbing at her eyes. A physical release of stress, she knew. But she couldn’t stop. The more she swiped at her tears, the faster they flowed.
Suddenly a big warm hand covered her left one. “Meredith?”
Gage’s hushed voice was soothing and she tried to check her sobs. Through blurry eyes, she saw the concern on his face.
“Nowlin?”
She nodded, tears burning her cheeks.
Warm and steady, he sat in the chair next to the sofa, loosely clasping her fingers. His knee brushed hers. After a few minutes, she had herself under control.
Still she couldn’t suppress a shudder. “I shot him. I killed him.” She gave a watery laugh. “Like you don’t know that. I just…can’t believe it happened.”
Gage brushed his thumb lightly back and forth across her knuckles.
“It’s only now sinking in, I guess. It’s a delayed reaction. I know that, but I can’t seem to help it.”
“You don’t have to. You’ve been through a lot, Meredith. Just let it out.”
He didn’t try to hold her or fix her, just waited patiently as more tears fell. They finally stopped. Slowly she became aware of the hum of the refrigerator, the coarse caw of a bird outside. The familiar scent of soap and man settled her.
She squeezed his hand. “Sorry.”
He thumbed away a streak of wetness on her cheek. “You okay?”
“Yes,” she said hoarsely. The tenderness in his eyes had her chest going tight. “It’s overwhelming. I know I saved your life and I’m not sorry for that.”
“Good to know,” he said drily.
She smiled. “It’s just…he’s dead. In med school, we were taught how to deal with death, but it’s different with patients. The marshal wasn’t a patient.”
Gage listened as she worked her way through it, keeping hold of her hand. As she calmed, she took in his damp hair, the steadiness in his hands, the hard hair-dusted chest visible between the edges of his open shirt. And the heat in his blue eyes.
His thumb softly stroked her ring finger. Had he been doing that all along? Awareness fluttered down low and she slowly slid her hand from his. “I feel better now.”
About the marshal. Not about Gage.
He laughed. “You don’t have to sound so surprised.”
“I’m not.” Her mouth curved. She had always admired his patience. Except when it came to them and the wedding he had seemed content to wait on forever.
She might not like what he’d done to them, she might not trust him with her heart, but she did trust him with her life. “I’m not sure I would be able to handle this with anyone except you. Thanks.”
His gaze sharpened. Maybe she shouldn’t have said that out loud, but she meant it.
Shifting closer, he rested his elbows on his thighs. “I’m glad to return the favor.”
“What do you mean?” She dried the last of her tears. “Oh, saving my life after I saved yours.”
“No.” He shook his head, seeming to consider his words carefully. “I’m talking about the past year. Thinking about you was what got me through.”
She stiffened. “Gage.”
“Remembering us.”
She didn’t want to hear this. She couldn’t. She wasn’t going back. “Stop. Please.”
After a long, heavy minute that had her quivering deep inside, he looked straight into her eyes. Her pulse skipped. She couldn’t ignore the fierce need on his face.
“I can’t stop thinking about being in bed with you this morning. And how we used to wake up. Remember?”
Oh, she remembered, all right. This was why he’d been watching her with such blatant interest all morning. “Well, we didn’t wake up that way today!”
“Trust me, I know. Every part of me knows,” he added wryly.
Before she could stop herself, she glanced at his groin and her eyes widened at his unmistakable arousal. “You can’t—You’re hurt!”
“I’m not dead.”
Panic had her surging to her feet. She wanted to run, but where? “Okay, listen. There’s one bed in this place. It’s plenty big enough for both of us, so you better not try anything. You’ve been looking at me like you want to take a big bite.”
His gaze did a slow slide down her body. “I’d be lying if I said I didn’t.”
Meredith wanted to smack him. “I’m not sleeping with you. We’re not sleeping together. There will be no sex. None.”
“What about—”
“No kissing. No touching.”
He arched a brow and amusement glinted in his eyes. “I was going to say what about afterward? What about after this is over?”
She blinked. Was he serious? Regardless of how the trial turned out, their basic problem would still be the same. He would always put her second to his job. “There is no ‘after this.’”
“No?”
“No.”
His eyes darkened as he rose, his body almost touching hers. A frantic electric sensation screamed through her body, zinging clear down to her toes.
She wasn’t sure what she expected, but it wasn’t for him to lean close and whisper, “Whatever you say.”
The soft arrogance in his voice didn’t sound like agreement to her. It sounded like a challenge.
Her pulse spiked and her nipples tightened. She shouldn’t want him ever again, but she did. Meredith folded her arms, trying to look as if she were unaffected, but she could tell by the infuriating satisfaction in his eyes he’d already seen. Her entire body flushed.
Before she could step away, he did. It scared her how quickly some of her old emotions had surfaced. The anger, the regret. And the want. Especially that one.
Seven days to go before the trial. Seven days of this.
She mentally braced herself. Things were what they were and she had to deal with it. She could suck it up for seven days. She could do this without getting involved again.
“We can come back here after we finish in Texarkana.” He skirted the leather chair and walked down the hall toward the bedroom, hopefully to rest.
As Meredith watched his slow progress, her gaze took in the stubborn set to his shoulders, the jeans she only now noticed were loose on him. She went hot, then cold. Her legs felt like rubber. T
hose seven days loomed before her like a long stretch of desert. She was afraid she couldn’t tough it out at all.
Because she had never gotten over him.
Chapter 5
She’d said no sex, but she still wanted him. Gage had seen proof in her body. Her eyes. And he planned to get her to admit it. He was driven by ego, but he didn’t care.
She hadn’t wanted to hear that sometimes thoughts of her had been the only thing to keep him going. Maybe he shouldn’t have confessed, but he wanted her to know how much she still meant to him.
His day had been spent sleeping off and on, and searching through more files on Nowlin’s computer. Even though Gage chafed at the inactivity, he knew he had to regain his strength. And leaving Texarkana after dark was a precaution they should take.
Meredith had dodged him most of the day. She was skittish though he didn’t know if it was because of what he’d admitted in the living room or because there was still a spark between them.
This morning had started a slow throb of anticipation in his blood. Knowing this might be the last chance he had to ever spend any time with her made the hunger sharper, deeper, and being with her until the trial was going to test his restraint.
His awareness of her sawed away at his control as they drove to Texarkana later that day to pick up his notes and fire-scene photos. The sun was setting in a ball of pure orange. Gage didn’t mind Meredith being behind the wheel; he just wished he had something to do with his hands, his mind. Something to override the sweet scent of her wrapping around him, the memory of how she’d responded to him earlier.
Tension arced between them. Because of him, he knew. He was making her uncomfortable, but he couldn’t quite bring himself to be sorry. Waking up with her this morning had done more than fire his blood. It had unlocked memories of all the mornings he’d woken with her before. And all the ones he hadn’t.
He tried to think about other things, other people. Maybe the silence was getting to her as well because she slid a look at him. “How long have you worked at the car garage?”
