by Cowan, Debra
“You were my last, too.” She urged him closer. “Don’t stop!”
Eyes glittering with savage desire, his jaw worked as he stared down at their bodies.
The intensity on his face made her shiver. “I’m still on the pill. We’re both cle—Oh!”
He thrust hard, his arms going under her and pulling her tight into his chest.
As she buried her face in his neck, emotions swamped her. Old, new, good and bad. As right as Gage felt inside her, against her, her heart ached. She couldn’t bear it.
He began to move and her vision hazed at the sharp tight contractions that started almost immediately.
“No, baby, hold on.” Taken aback by her quick climax, he could barely get the words out. He fought to control his body. “This is too fast.”
“It’s good.” Breathing in his heady male musk, she pulled his earlobe between her teeth.
He hissed in a breath, fisting a hand in her hair and bringing her head up so he could crush his mouth to hers.
She shifted, her body meeting his at a higher angle. He moved deep and sure, driving into her until she came apart beneath him, then he went, too.
As their pulses slowed, her hands stroked the supple length of his spine.
He nuzzled her neck. His voice was thick, gritty. “Damn.”
“Yeah.” Both her voice and body shook. She tried desperately to keep from letting him back into her head, her heart. She told herself to get up, say good-night, but she couldn’t move. Didn’t want to.
Nor did she want to allow the thought that had gnawed at her since she’d jumped him, but it pushed through, anyway. She had more than crossed the line he’d drawn. She’d plowed right over it.
And she hoped she wouldn’t come to regret it.
A few hours later, Gage woke in the king-size bed where they’d moved after making love in front of the fireplace. The empty space next to him registered about the same time he saw Meredith at the window, wrapped in a blanket. Bright moonlight washed through the half-open blinds, tinting her profile with silver, gilding her hair.
Was she all right? She’d acted fine after they’d made love, had been the one to lead him to the bedroom. Now she stood perfectly still staring out the window.
Gage slid out of bed, ignoring the chill as he padded over to stand behind her. He cupped her shoulders, pulling her back against him and murmuring into her hair, “You okay?”
“Yes.” She snuggled against him. “It’s snowing. I was watching.”
He slid his arms around her waist and pressed a kiss to her temple. “Pretty, and I’m not talking about the snow.”
He felt her smile. “Aren’t you cold?”
“You could warm me up.”
She slipped off the blanket and he wrapped it around both of them. For a few minutes, they watched the snow swirl and dip in the frosty light.
Holding Meredith like this—naked and warm against him—wound him up tight. Of course, it didn’t take much. He wanted her again. The first time had been great, but too fast. It had been about quenching a need, about taking. The whole time he’d half expected her to pull away, but he kept going. He’d wanted her for so long he wasn’t going to let anything stop them.
They were surrounded by the quiet fall of snow, the stillness outside and in, the bare hum of the heater. He pressed tight against her bottom. When she pressed back, he nuzzled her neck. Lifting her left arm, he anchored it behind his head, opening her body to him, causing the blanket to sag off his shoulders.
She held his free arm to her stomach, catching their covering. Gage trailed his fingers down the underside of her arm, coasted them lightly against the curve of her breast to her waist.
A giggle escaped her as she jerked against him. “That tickles!”
He grinned and turned her to face him, her soft breasts teasing the hair on his chest. In the pearly light, her eyes glittered with dark desire. Keeping the blanket around them, he lightly grazed his mouth over her cheekbone, her lips, the line of her jaw.
Her eyes closed and the pleasure spreading across her face had him moving in for a kiss. Long and deep and slow. He knew she liked it that way. He tried to throttle back and give it to her as he feathered his thumb across her taut velvety nipple.
Both her hands flattened against his chest. He could stand here all night kissing her, but when he felt her shiver from the cold, he scooped her up and carried her to bed. As he followed her down, she tossed away the blanket and scooted close as he pulled the comforter and sheet over them.
Her kiss was fierce, demanding, but he wasn’t going to be rushed this time. Rolling her to her back, he moved between her legs, linking his fingers with hers to bring their arms slightly above her head.
He dragged his mouth to her ear, down her neck. At the feel of his tongue there, she melted into him, shifting with him, using the length of her body to stroke him every time he touched her.
His lips glided down her throat and she bent her knees to give him more room. He took his time, teasing heated, openmouthed kisses all over her breasts, low across her belly, the inside of her thighs. By the time he put his mouth on her, she was trembling, his name a breathy plea that had him sliding inside her.
He struggled to still the urgency, pausing when her eyes fluttered shut. “Look at me, baby,” he commanded raggedly.
She did and Gage thought he caught a flicker of wariness in the blue depths. He stroked her hair and moved slowly, even when she locked her legs around his hips and tried to speed him up. As she neared climax, he backed off.
A broken moan rose from her. He could feel the heat beneath her skin, the pumping of her heart against his. Kissing her deeply, he took her up again and again. Long minutes later, when the demanding pulses of her body sent him hurtling toward the edge, he nudged her over. She let go and so did he.
His spine felt like mush. He rested his head beside hers, soaking in her sweet fragrance, not wanting to move. Finally, he propped himself up on one elbow and brushed her hair off her face. “I’ve missed you.”
She smiled, but it didn’t reach her eyes.
He rolled to the side, taking her with him. His pulse slowed and she settled close. She was unlocking places inside him, stirring up something he hadn’t felt in over a year—hope. Being with her felt familiar, but now he appreciated even more what he’d gone without for the past eighteen months. Maybe that was what made him finally realize she was holding back. She had the first time, too.
At first, anger swirled inside him. She was the one who’d initiated the sex, not him. But after their broken engagement, the way he’d hurt her, why wouldn’t she be guarded?
Maybe she needed to know he wanted a lot more than this. He pulled her half on top of him, stroking his hand up and down the velvet of her back.
“Mmm,” she breathed into his chest.
He brushed a kiss against her hair. “You can count on me, Meredith. I’m in this all the way.”
She stilled, her fingers plucking at the hair on his chest. “In what?”
“This. Us. I want more of you than in bed.”
She lifted her head, looking dazed. “What?”
“I want you back. I want things like they were before.”
Unease suddenly pulsed from her. “What we’re doing right now is nice.”
Her wariness irritated him. “You saying you don’t want more? Baby, you wouldn’t have slept with me unless you were open to giving us another shot.”
“I wanted you.”
“You only wanted sex, nothing else?”
“Yes.”
He snorted. “Bull.”
She untangled herself from him and sat up, taking the sheet with her. Pushing her hair back out of her face, she turned toward him. “Gage—”
“So you won’t even talk about giving us another chance?”
Her pale silky breasts swelled over the top of the sheet. Unable to resist the tempting fullness, he traced a finger into her cleavage.
She drew the sheet
tighter around her. “After the trial, I may never see you again.”
“Yes, you will,” he growled, pulling his hand away from her soft flesh to push up on his elbows. “And that’s not an answer. If everything at the trial worked out so that I didn’t have to go back into witness protection, if I came back to my old life, my real life, would you give us another chance?”
“We don’t know what will happen. Why are we even talking about this?”
“’Cause we just had sex. Twice. And it meant something to me.”
When she looked away without responding, his gut hollowed out. What was going on with her? He sat up, turned her face to his. “I never forgot how things were with us.”
“Not forgetting is very different from going back.”
“It’s a start.” He trailed his thumb down her neck, grazing the delicate line of her collarbone. “Neither of us has moved on. That’s significant.”
“I don’t know what you want me to say.”
“I want you to tell me you want more than this.”
“We have right now. That’s enough.”
Since when? Who was this woman? “You can’t expect me to believe sex is all you want.”
“It doesn’t matter what either of us wants.” Her voice was steady, almost flat. “Not until the trial’s over, anyway. After that, you’re probably going back into WitSec.”
Her pragmatic statement irritated him even though she was probably right. She still felt something for him—he knew she did—but what exactly? He searched her face, his heart squeezing tight at the careful blankness there.
Gage wanted to push her for an answer, but he was afraid it would be no. Plus, he couldn’t ignore the bleak and very real possibility he might have to disappear again.
“I want to be with you. You want to be with me, so what’s the problem?” She let the sheet fall, placing a hand on his thigh.
He wanted to hit something, but maybe in the time they had left before the trial, he could convince her he was serious about a future with her. A future he wasn’t going to screw up. As soon as possible, he would figure out how to make that happen.
He cupped her nape and pulled her to him. Angry that she wouldn’t talk about their life after this, his kiss was hard at first. Until she climbed into his lap and straddled him, her breasts teasing his chest, her soft silky heat scattering his thoughts.
Sex was all she wanted to give him, and it was damn good. But it wasn’t enough. Even now with their bodies locked together, an emptiness hollowed out his chest. He needed to prove she could trust him, which meant he had his work cut out for him.
He wanted all of her. And he was going to have her. Somehow.
Chapter 9
Gage had thought nothing could add to his frustration about Meredith and her refusal to consider anything with them beyond right now, but he was wrong.
Late the next afternoon, he rapped on the bathroom door. In response to Meredith’s “Come in,” he walked into a warm fragrant haze of woman smells.
“I figured it out.” Gage paused, taking her in. She lay stretched out in the tub, her head resting against the rim. His gaze slid from her upswept hair to the elegant line of her neck and the damp sheen of her shoulders. What the water didn’t cover of her breasts, the bubbles from the apricot-scented bath wash did. He thought about getting in there with her, even though he hadn’t been invited. “I know what it is.”
Her drowsy blue gaze met his. “You figured out the mystery ingredient?”
“Yeah.” Remembering how she hated cool air interfering with her bath, Gage closed the door before she asked. Bracing his backside against the sink, he crossed his feet at the ankles.
He and Meredith had worked on the experiments together until about twenty minutes earlier, when she had announced that she would fix supper after taking a bath. Thick perfumed steam swirled around him, settled in his lungs. Man, her scent drove him crazy.
He paced the two steps to the opposite wall then back to the door. “And my big discovery isn’t going to do us any good.”
“What do you mean?” She shifted so that water covered her shoulders, rosy skin peeking through the light froth of bubbles. A few damp blond strands escaped from the messy topknot and stuck to her nape.
His blood was on slow simmer for her anyway and the frustrating discovery about the accelerant edged him into a full-blown burn. He wanted to grab her and…do stuff.
He tried not to look at her. “The mystery ingredient that enables the gas-gel to disappear is—get ready—powdered sugar.”
“Powdered sugar?” Her surprise was as palpable as his own. “You’re sure?”
“Yes.” He shoved a hand through his hair. “I tested it five times. Every time, the accelerant disappeared without a trace.”
His gaze touched on her delicate earlobe, the droplet of water in the hollow where her neck met her shoulder. Stopping at the swell of her breasts, he remembered the softness of her fine-grained skin. He wanted to feel it again.
Noticing where he looked, she sank down a little lower in the tub. “…Larry James?”
Realizing she was talking, Gage jerked his gaze to her face. “Sorry, what?”
“I asked if there was any way for you to tie the powdered sugar to Larry James?”
“No.” Gage’s body tightened in anticipation of her getting out. “I was really hoping the ingredient I isolated would be some sophisticated compound or specialty material like that used in fireproofing or by stunt people. If it had been one of those, I could’ve at least checked to see if James had a connection to any company or person with access to something like that, but it’s just plain powdered sugar and paraffin wax.”
“What is it about the powdered sugar that makes the accelerant disappear?”
“From what I can tell, it’s the amount.” He fought the urge to pound his fist through the wall. “Damn it, this is all I have.”
“You’ll find another way.”
“I hope so,” he muttered, realizing she was finished with her bath and had been for some time.
But she stayed in the water, her body hidden beneath the bubbles. Why didn’t she get out? It wasn’t as if he hadn’t seen and touched every inch of her. “Want me to get you a towel?”
“Not yet.”
She wouldn’t look at him and Gage ground his teeth. Did her guarded behavior mean she regretted last night? She hadn’t pushed him away, but everything she did was marked by wariness.
What had he thought? he jeered. That one night with him would erase her doubts, make her as certain about him as he was about her?
He wanted to grab her and kiss her until she melted. And she would, he knew. But there was too much at stake. As frustrated as he was with her, Gage knew he had to let her work it out on her own. When they’d been engaged, he’d made it all about him. This time he couldn’t do that. Not if he wanted to show her he’d really changed.
“Are you going to get that?” She arched a brow.
“What?”
“Your cell phone.”
At her words, he realized it was ringing. Pulling the phone from his jeans pocket, he answered. “Yeah?”
“Parrish, it’s Ivory.”
Gage mouthed the Attorney General’s name to Meredith.
As the other man spoke, tension coiled through Gage’s body. He could feel Meredith’s concerned gaze on him.
He disconnected and she sat up straighter in the tub. The water gave her skin the luster of a pearl. “What is it?”
“A body matching Julio’s description was discovered, shot execution style.” Gage knew Meredith had worked the E.R. long enough to know that meant a bullet or two to the head. “Ivory needs us to look at the body, see if it’s the piece of scum who broke into your lake house and shot at us.”
“And tailed us?”
He nodded, feeling as if his chest were being crushed.
“I’m sorry.” She searched his eyes. “If it is Julio, you may have just lost your last chance to connect
Larry James to the arson ring.”
“Yeah. Ivory wants us to come to Presley to look at the body.”
“Now?”
Gage nodded, biting back a curse.
Meredith looked into his face for a long moment and he wished he knew what she was thinking. He wasn’t ready to end their time together. He was no closer to getting his life back than he had been before running into her at the lake house.
“Let me look at your stitches before we leave.”
“Okay. I’ll check around the cabin outside, make sure no one’s waiting to ambush us.” He didn’t care how tentative she was. He was damn well touching her. Pushing away from the counter, he stepped over to the tub and ran the backs of his fingers down her cheek.
She didn’t pull away, but didn’t relax into his touch, either. “What happens when we get back? Are you going to check in with the Marshals Service?”
“No. Even if the dead man is Julio, we still don’t know the identity or whereabouts of the mastermind behind the arson ring. I don’t trust anyone but myself to keep you safe.” He frowned, suddenly hit by a thought. “We need a place to stay. We can’t go to your house and I don’t even have one now.”
“Do you need to be close to the courthouse in downtown Oklahoma City? Does it matter?”
“I’m more concerned about safety than proximity.”
“We could probably stay at Robin’s,” Meredith ventured. “But we would have to tell her some of what’s going on and you might not want to do that.”
“Does she still live outside the city limits?”
“Yes, on the acreage she bought several years ago for her horses.”
Gage thought for a moment. “That might be good. She’s a cop. We know she can keep a secret. She can protect herself, if necessary. But as you said before, there’s a chance Julio and the ringleader might have made a connection because she’s been house-sitting for you. And no one would think to look for us there. Do you think she’d mind?”
“No, but I need to find out if it’s even an option.”
