Jeff laughed. “That’s what my mom said. And trust me, hearing my mom call me masculine about killed me.”
I smiled up at him. “Awww, her little boy is all grown up.”
His eyes flashed darker, his pupils growing. “That’s right. I’m all grown up.” He ground his hips against me and I felt his hardness.
“Mmm, I see some parts of you are still growing.”
He gave me a wicked grin. “I could lock the door and show you.”
I pushed him away. Which was really hard to do. “No! We have to leave. And I’m starving.”
“You’re always starving,” he countered, then sighed. “You’re right. But you and me?” He gestured between us. “We’re having a celebration tonight, right? A private one?”
“Oh, yeah.” Images of Jeff’s naked body flashed through my mind. Ever since we’d made love at the hotel, I couldn’t get enough of him. He made it clear he felt the same way.
“Okay, then let’s go.”
We headed downstairs, our graduation gear in tow. As we reached the bottom of the steps, I heard sniffling.
“Mom? What’s wrong?” Jeff asked, concern in his voice as he hurried to her side.
She laughed, waving him away. “I’m fine, honey. This is just such a big day.”
Jeff turned back to me, rolling his eyes. “Seriously? I thought you were hurt.”
I shrugged and raised my eyebrows. I had no idea what to say.
Judy just laughed again. “It’s a mother thing. I can’t believe you’re all grown up. Graduation brought it all to a head for me.” She kissed Jeff’s cheek.
He appeared bewildered. I bit back a laugh as he shot me a pained look and hugged his mom.
My chest tightened as I watched them embrace. I wished my own mom could be here. What would she say to me? Unbidden tears sprang to my eyes and I hastily wiped them away. But not fast enough. Judy soon enveloped me in her arms, waterworks spilling down my cheeks. I held tight as the dam broke. Sobs tore from my throat and I held onto her for dear life. I cried for the loss of my mom. I cried for the loss of my family. I even cried for the man who had been my father, but could never find a way to love me. I cried those deep, ugly tears that make one’s face blotchy for hours. My knees buckled and Jeff’s arms encircled me from behind, bracing me from falling as he whispered into my ear. While I couldn’t make sense of the words, they brought me peace and the sobs began to slow. I sagged against him as Judy pulled away and cupped my cheeks, wiping away the tears with her thumbs.
“Do you have him?” she asked.
“Yeah,” Jeff answered. He led me to the sofa, his arm tight around my waist.
Judy handed him a warm, wet washcloth, and Jeff gently wiped my face.
“Close your eyes,” he whispered.
I sighed when I felt the soft cloth on my face. Jeff’s touch was delicate and I sagged against his side. “I’m sorry,” I murmured.
“Oh, honey,” Judy said, sitting next to me. “You have nothing to apologize for.” She put her arm around my waist and squeezed. “I should have known this would be a hard day for you.”
I hadn’t realized it either. “I just wish…” My voice cracked as I fought more tears. “I wish she were here today, being proud of me.”
“I know you miss her.” Judy stroked my hair. “But Aaron, you do have someone else who’s proud of you today. You have me. You’ve been part of this family since you welcomed Jeff his first day of school. I love you as if you were my own child.” Tears welled in her eyes.
My lips quivered. “Really?”
“Of course.” She pulled me close. “You’re so loved, Aaron. I’m so proud of the man you’ve become and so are your grandparents. And I know—I know, Aaron—your mother was proud of you. I believe she’s watching you today as you take a step forward into adulthood.”
“Thank you.” I loved her, too, but I wasn’t ready to say it. I didn’t think it was a betrayal to my mother, but I wasn’t sure. I was too emotionally exhausted to figure it out.
Jeff said nothing, but when our eyes met, I knew I’d be okay.
A peace fell over me and I gave him a contented smile. “I think I’m ready.”
He nodded, then went to the stairs and grabbed the graduation gowns and hats from where we’d dropped them.
“Okay,” Judy began, smiling. “I’ll see you soon. I promised your grandparents I’d wait for them at the door of the auditorium. I’m heading over as early as possible to grab our seats.”
Jeff opened the front door. “See you, Mom.”
I gave Judy a quick hug. “Thank you again.”
Once in the truck, I leaned back and sighed. “Wonder how long that had been building up?” I mused out loud.
Jeff squeezed my thigh. “I’d say a long time.” He gave me a sidelong glance. “You better?”
“Yeah. I’m really sorry for ruining that nice moment between you and your mom.”
He shook his head. “You didn’t ruin anything, Aaron.”
I put my hand on top of his. “Let’s go graduate!”
* * * *
By the time we’d arrived at the large auditorium across town and put on our gowns, it seemed everyone else was ready. The large room looked filled to capacity.
“Aaron! Jeff!”
We turned in tandem to see Kevin waving. “Hey!”
Jeff and I wove through the throng of teens in black gowns and joined him.
“You guys going to Russell’s party tonight?”
Jeff nodded. “Wouldn’t miss it. Are you?”
“Yes.” He whispered clandestinely, “Lily’s going to be there. I asked her.”
I slapped his shoulder. “That’s awesome!”
He grinned. “And get this, she’s going to Central, too. I got my acceptance letter yesterday. Finally.”
I was thrilled for him. He seemed pretty excited about it, too.
“Jon got accepted, too. So we’re going to room together.”
“That’s great, Kevin. Right Jeff?”
“Yeah,” he managed to spit out without sounding too much like an ass.
“Anyway, I need to find Lily. See you guys at the party.”
“See you,” we told him.
“Jeff,” I began, but he stopped me with his hand.
“I know. You don’t care about Jon, but I can’t help getting jealous.”
“You’re all I could ever want,” I reminded him and gave him a kiss.
Jeff pulled me close, letting the kiss go on longer, but I didn’t mind. Heat blazed through me and I felt him harden against me. We pulled back at the same time and grinned.
“Let’s not stay too long at the party,” I whispered.
“Wasn’t planning on it.”
Unfortunately, we had to line up alphabetically, so when called to get ready, we said goodbye for the time being.
When we filed into the auditorium, the room was completely silent. I thought there was supposed to be music playing, but maybe they had trouble with it. I wasn’t sure, but it was so quiet, I was afraid to even clear my throat.
Once we were all in, our principal gestured for us to take our seats. I craned my neck and saw the back of Jeff’s head several rows ahead of me.
The ceremony started and to be perfectly honest, it was boring as hell. To keep from falling asleep, I reviewed in my mind the last game I’d played of Fifa on PS4. By the time they started calling our names, I was fighting the urge to let my eyes close.
I forced myself to sit up and pay attention. I was glad I did because Jeff’s row was the next one heading up, so I caught a glimpse of him as he filed toward the stage. My heart sped up as he waited his turn, and when finally his name was called, he strode confidently across the stage, accepted his diploma, and beamed at the crowd as he moved his tassel from his right side to his left. I wasn’t sure if he could see me, but I beamed back at him.
Soon, it was my turn, and I was surprised at how nervous I was to step onto that stage. I felt the first p
angs of panic invade my chest and immediately started my breathing exercises. By the time I reached the principal and took my diploma, I felt better. I scanned the audience, but couldn’t see Jeff. Until a hand shot up and waved. I still couldn’t see his face, but that was okay—I knew he could see mine.
“Move your tassel,” the principal whispered.
Embarrassed, I did so before heading off the stage and back to my seat, eager to get off the robe. Jeff caught my eye as I passed his row and winked.
My heartrate sped up and I rethought the whole party tonight. Why go to a party when I could spend hours in bed with the man I loved? Doing all sorts of fun things! He’d been hinting he wanted to try things the other way around, and I was up for that. But I had to admit, having him inside me was the ultimate pleasure and I hoped he didn’t want to switch it up all the time. I couldn’t imagine anything better than when he slid deep inside me. I loved his balls slapping against me as he stretched and filled me.
Shit, I became rock-hard, sitting in the middle of the graduating class. Think about something else. Think about something else.
But Jeff turned around to wink at me and it proved hopeless. All I could think about was getting naked with him. I became thankful for the gown since it hid my bulge.
My mind drifted as the rest of the ceremony continued. I was so excited about college and sharing a room with Jeff. His mom still worried about that, but we didn’t. We knew no matter what happened, we could work through it and stay together. I wasn’t naïve enough to think we wouldn’t ever have problems. Hell, we’d already been through some incredibly stressful events and survived.
So lost in my thoughts, I didn’t notice everyone standing until the guy next to me whispered to me to get up. We filed out quietly, but this time, music played. Nothing I recognized, though.
As soon as I entered the side room, Jeff pulled me into his arms. “We’re done! College, here we come!”
“Can you believe it?”
He grinned. “Ready to go to Russell’s?”
I bit back the desire to tell him I’d rather spend the evening in bed with him because he looked so excited. “Sure am.”
He cupped my face, oblivious to the chaos around us. When he looked at me, it became just the two of us and I couldn’t look away. I licked my lips, while his curved into a smile and his eyes crinkled. “Would you mind if we put in only a quick appearance at Russell’s and leave within an hour?”
I nodded, my mouth dry and my heart beat pounding against my rib cage. “Why?”
His mouth brushed my ear. “Because I’d rather have our own party tonight.” His breath ghosted my skin, and I shivered.
“Then let’s get our pictures taken with your mom, my grandparents, and Pamela and get out of here.”
“Then off to the party before our own celebration.”
I happily grabbed his hand as we hurried to find our families.
Epilogue
The courtroom stood almost empty when Jeff and I entered, and my footsteps echoed in the large room. It was different than what I expected. All those years of watching Law & Order reruns with my mom had me imagining high ceilings, large ornate wooden tables for the lawyers, and rich wood paneling on the walls.
In reality, the room looked very plain. The walls, two of which were built of brick, were painted a creamy tan. Other than a few signs telling us to turn off cell phones and naming the courtroom, only one large, hideous picture of a river and hills hung behind the judge’s desk. Seriously ugly.
The judge’s desk looked as if created with cheap fabric panels, like the kind in office cubicles. It was plain and sort of a letdown to think this was where sentences for murderers took place. I’d really thought it would be something more intimidating.
I tugged at my button-down shirt and wished this was already over so I could change into a T-shirt and shorts. Jeff looked just as uncomfortable as we stared at each other, unsure what to do next.
It had taken a couple of months for my father to finally agree to a deal. I’m sure it had more to do with tormenting his kids and my grandparents than caring how long he would be in jail. He knew he would likely die there.
Back in June, we’d finally been given today’s date for the sentencing, which happened to be the same day we planned to leave for college.
We’d spent the summer working hard and saving as much money as possible. Most of the days I didn’t work, my grandparents would meet me at the house and we’d spend hours going through items, deciding what to keep, trash, or donate. My first afternoon there had been the hardest. We’d gone through Mom’s things, and seeing her jewelry and books started the tears.
Jeff had wanted to help, but I wouldn’t let him that first day. I’d needed it to be with just my grandparents and Pamela. He’d understood.
By the last week of July, the house was on the market. Grandpa had called me just last night to say we had an offer and he’d keep me posted.
Earlier today, Jeff and I had finished packing our vehicles—most of the big items went into his truck bed—then packed clothes for later in a duffel bag. We planned on leaving right after court.
I couldn’t believe it was finally time to head off to college. A new chapter in my life with the man I loved. Our relationship had only deepened over the summer and I was eager for us to share our college years and grow together. I knew a lot of people thought we wouldn’t make it, due to our age, but we’d never felt more confident about our love. Still, we knew we would argue. We knew things wouldn’t be perfect. But we’d made a commitment to each other and agreed that love was a decision. It wasn’t always rainbows and hearts and unicorns, but helping each other through the hard times.
And Jeff had clearly shown me he was up to the job. I wasn’t sure I could’ve made it through this year without his support. I’d not had the opportunity to show him I’d always be there for him, too, but I knew nothing could change my mind or make me give up on him.
Laura Morgan entered and spied us standing at the end of a row of chairs. She smiled and held up her index finger, gesturing for us to wait. She looked professional in a navy blue suit, her hair up in a bun.
The door opened and my grandparents walked in with Pamela close behind. My sister looked nervous, so I made a beeline straight to her.
“Hey,” I said, putting my arm around her shoulders and giving her a hug. “You okay?”
She stayed quiet, but shook her head.
“I know. This is going to be hard. But we’ll get through it together, okay?”
Pamela gave me a wobbly smile and I could see she was on the verge of tears. Maybe seeing our father wasn’t the best thing for her. I glanced at my grandma, and her smile matched Pamela’s. Okay, maybe it was just going to be a hard day for everyone.
Without a word of instruction, Jeff stepped right in. “Hey, Pammy-Lammy.”
She giggled quietly. “Hi.”
“You ready for the new school year?”
She brightened immediately. “Yes! I’m really excited because the school is giving us all laptops to use this year.”
“That’s great.”
My heart felt a little lighter as I watched him distract her from the dismal situation. I made my way to my grandparents and gave them each a hug.
“Have you seen Aunt Elizabeth?” I asked, worried she might show up and make a scene.
They both shook their heads and I took a deep breath. Maybe she’d finally come to her senses about my father, too.
“You and Jeff all packed for college?” Grandpa asked.
I nodded. “We’re heading out straight from here.”
He pulled something out of his pocket. “I wanted to give you this later, but I’m afraid we may be…busy with dealing with…” He rolled his eyes heavenward for a moment. Grandma patted his arm and he placed his hand on hers. He cleared his throat. “I just want to make sure I don’t forget to give you this.”
He handed me a folded envelope. When I opened it, I found a check for
fifteen-hundred dollars and several twenty dollar bills. My eyebrows raised. “What’s this for?”
“The check is for you to put in your account to help with extras for your freshman year. And the cash is to help you with the next couple of days—gas, food, anything you need.”
“But that’s a lot of money.”
Grandma’s eyes teared up. “It’s something we wanted to do. Just take it and let us be happy about helping you.”
I blinked back the tears and hugged them again. “Thank you.”
“We’re so proud of you,” Grandpa told me. “You’ve grown into a wonderful young man.”
Laura Morgan arrived at my side just then. We turned in sync as I slipped the envelope into my back pocket.
“Hello, everyone. I’m sorry it’s taken so long to get here, but the day has finally arrived. So, the way it’s going to progress is he’ll be brought in and seated at the front table over there. His lawyer will sit with him. The judge will ask him if he agrees to the plea, and then he’ll have to state what he did. After that, before the sentencing, the judge will ask if any of you would like to make an impact statement. Aaron, I understand you have something you want to say, is that right?”
I patted my pocket and felt the crumpled paper I’d worked on last night. I nodded.
Laura led us to seats behind the prosecution’s table and I gestured for Jeff and Pamela to join us. I ended up between the two of them, with my grandparents on the other side of my sister.
Judy showed up a few minutes later, sat behind us, and patted my shoulder.
A door opened across the room. Several people wearing prison jumpsuits filed inside and sat on a long bench. My father wasn’t with them, though. I wondered why the rest were here—what had they done? Had they murdered someone, too?
Jeff wove his fingers through mine as he whispered, “If you get nervous or upset, squeeze my hand as hard as you need.”
God, he was sexy. But there was so much more about him. I loved his eyes, and those lips drove me crazy, but it was his heart that made me fall in love with him. The outer package was great to look at, and I freely admitted to doing that often, but knowing the kind of man he was, knowing he was always there for me, it was more than I had ever dreamed of. There was no way I could ever feel this close to anyone else.
Holding On Page 25
