Their relationship was a horrible, awful mess and she hated it. How could they plan to get married when they barely spoke anymore? Thankfully he stopped asking her to set a date after what felt like her millionth avoidance maneuver to get out of answering him. She tried to vary it- urgently needing to use the bathroom, rushing to the computer to check her email, having a wardrobe malfunction that needed immediate attention. She used every lame excuse she could dream up, until she had to stop from rolling her own eyes at the ridiculousness.
The silence between them dragged on as he put away the sandwich ingredients and methodically wiped up the counter and loaded the dirty utensils in the dishwasher. Just when Connie thought she couldn’t bear it another second and had an apology on the tip of her tongue, Nate spoke.
“I have to go to work,” he said, his voice a colorless monotone that gave her no hint of his feelings, “Then I’m going out.”
“Oh,” she replied. He couldn’t be that mad if he was proposing a night out. They could get some beers and late night snacks, maybe shoot some pool. “When should I meet you?”
He turned around then and Connie wished she could take back her last words. The look on his face , full of anger and frustration, clearly told her she wasn’t invited. He appeared ready to bite her head off for presuming, and she braced herself. Then he took a deep breath and seemed to calm down.
“Actually, I made plans to meet Bobby. Kind of guys night out.” He said, “I don’t get to see my big brother that much.”
“Ok,” she replied, surprised at the blatant lie but having no choice but to accept his excuse. Nate saw his brother at least once a week but, hell, she couldn’t exactly demand honesty from him when she’d been telling fibs for months.
The silence returned as the stood and stared at each other across the kitchen. It wasn’t a very big kitchen, standard size for their 1970’s built ranch, but it felt like a mile-wide gulf. He watched her expectantly, as if trying to will the words he needed to hear out of her mouth. Connie knew he was waiting for her to apologize, and though she’d been about to moments before, she couldn’t call the words back up.
Besides, he was going out without her, punishing her for her forgetfulness when he knew she’d like to go with him. They hadn’t done anything together in weeks, and even then it was to go to a party thrown by another couple where their presence together was expected, not because it was particularly fun. No, she didn’t have to apologize if he was going out and having fun without her.
“OK, then,” she said breaking the silence but not the tension. If anything he looked angrier. “Have fun tonight with Bobby. Tell him I said hi.” She paused, waiting to see if he’d say anything, but received nothing but silence. “I need to go study so I guess I’ll see you in the morning.” She turned and left Nate standing there, but not before she saw the anger and hurt wash over his face.
“I just fucked that up even more,” she murmured to herself. Somehow, even that realization didn’t stop her from continuing to the office and closing the door behind her.
A few minutes later, she heard Nate leave through the side door and pull out of the driveway. She’d been staring at the blank computer screen trying to will him to follow her and demand an apology or an explanation for her shitty behavior. But he didn’t care enough to even do that.
What was wrong with her? One minute she ran away from him, and the next she was spitting mad because he didn’t confront her. No wonder he was angry with her and pulling away. If she felt this muddled up and confused he must feel like he’d been riding the world’s longest roller coaster. If Connie didn’t know what she wanted how could he be expected to figure it out from her mixed signals? What were they going to do?
Chapter 2
Nate spent his full eight hour shift brooding. Going over and over what happened that morning. And what hadn’t happened. Connie refused to apologize and accept responsibility for screwing up, and thinking about today reminded him of the all the other times she’d forgotten to take care of a chore or complete a task she’d promised to handle. He realized that even on the infrequent occasions she voiced an apology she never really meant it. How could she when she kept repeating the same thoughtless behavior? For a minute today, after he’d told her she wasn’t invited out with him tonight, he saw a glimmer of remorse in her beautiful brown eyes. A hint of regret that she’d disappointed him yet again. But then…nothing. No words, no expression of guilt or promise to do better. She told him she’d see him in the morning and left. Just walked out of the room, even though Nate was so pissed he felt like flames would start shooting out of every hole in his head at any second.
How could she not know how mad he was? How fed up with her lame excuses he’d become? It had to be obvious. The Connie he lived with now was nothing like the girl he fell in love with not so many years ago. Sure, everyone changed, he accepted that and didn’t expect hearts and roses or perfection all the time. He certainly wasn’t perfect. But this continual disregard for his needs, his feelings and the relationship in general wasn’t something he could live with.
Something had to change, but what? Should he just give up and walk away? Cut his losses now before they actually tied the knot and things became even more complicated?
He turned their situation upside down and inside out all evening, barely seeing the giant pallets of raw materials he maneuvered with precision skill around the factory. At the end of the night no solution had swooped down out of the overheated stale air and he ended up with the nausea inducing conclusion that breaking up was his only option.
Maybe his big brother would have some advice. Bobby had been married for three years and appeared to have the perfect relationship with his wife Darcy. They always looked so happy, so…Nate struggled to describe the smooth, seamless partnership between his brother and sister-in-law. They seemed so in harmony with one another. He imagined they argued privately on occasion but any discord they did have never spilled over into their public life like his and Connie’s spats tended to. Friends and family kept asking what was wrong and why he seemed so tense at every gathering they went to together. Bobby never complained about his home life, and if he was going to bitch and moan it would have been to Nate. No, Bobby and Darcy were the ideal couple. Hopefully Bobby would have some brotherly advice for him. And if that advice was to break up with Connie than that’s what he’d do. He really didn’t want to, he still loved her despite their issues, but he couldn’t live like this any longer.
Nate clocked out twenty minutes early, no big deal since today was all overtime anyways, rushed through his shower in the company locker room and arrived at the bar a few minutes early. The neighborhood dive wasn’t one of his usual haunts, and he’d chosen it for exactly that reason. No way could he discuss his relationship problems in front of one the bartenders who saw him on a weekly basis, or any of the guys from work that he knew would be hanging around. Instead he chose a place closer to Bobby’s house that they’d only been in a few times.
It was your typical corner bar. Most of the narrow space held the long bar with a few booths along the opposite wall and a back room that held the requisite pool table and dart boards. After eleven o’clock on a Saturday night found the place just starting to fill up, and Nate quickly grabbed a beer at the bar and snagged an open booth in the back corner where he could keep an eye on the door.
Bobby arrived halfway through Nate’s second beer, glancing around the half-full room until he spotted him and Nate waved him over to his dark corner.
“Hey bro, why are we sitting all the way back here instead of at the bar watching the hockey game?” Bobby asked as he shed his jacked and sat down. That was the thing about Bobby. He didn’t really care where they sat, so long as they were hanging out. He was just an easy-going guy.
“I wanted to talk to you without everybody hearing every word we said.” Nate replied, trying and failing to keep the worry and frustration out of his voice.
Bobby didn’t miss a beat even though
Nate had practically snapped at him. “Okay, sounds good. Let me just get a beer. Need one?” Nate tipped his almost empty bottle in response and Bobby headed off to the now crowded bar. It took a few minutes for the bartender to reach him, which gave Nate some more time to figure out how to approach this conversation.
All too soon Bobby was back, seated opposite Nate in the booth and looking at him expectantly.
“You going to ask me what’s wrong?”Nate asked. Normally by now Bobby would be jumping down Nate’s throat, demanding to know what the problem was and figuring out how to solve it. They were only two years apart and best friends. Sure, they’d had their moments when they were teenagers with raging hormones and equally quick tempers. But even the occasional fist fight couldn’t break the bond between them. Bobby didn’t blink an eye. “I’m pretty sure I know what you want to talk about.”
“You are?” Nate was stunned, though he didn’t know why since his relationship had been shit for a while now.
“You tell me what you want to talk about and I’ll see if I’m right.” Bobby urged.
Nate took a deep breath and fought the sudden urge to clam up. “It’s Connie and me, and our relationship…” he trailed off not sure how to continue. “Things aren’t going very well.” He finally concluded, with the understatement of the year. Which made him chuckle. “Actually they’re completely fucked and right now I’m thinking the only thing to do is end it.”
Nate had been staring intently at the bar while he spoke but glanced at his brother now that he’d divulged his secret. Bobby didn’t look shocked or surprised or disappointed in him. None of the things Nate had feared. So he continued on. “Before I made any decisions I wanted to talk to you. You and Darcy have such a great marriage. You never fight, you both look so happy all the time. I need to know how you do it so I can decide if there’s any hope left for me and Connie.”
Bobby laughed, “Well first of all I wouldn’t say we never fight, Darcy and I have disagreements. We just don’t have that many of them and usually they’re only about the really important stuff.” Then Bobby sobered. “You’re my little brother, and I’m willing to help you any way that I can but I need you to tell more about what’s making you so unhappy. What are the issues, specifically?”
That was all it took for Nate to start pouring his heart out. He told his big brother all about Connie constantly forgetting to do the few things that were solely her responsibility, her refusal to give a meaningful apology and try harder, their inability to talk about the future because she always shut down and walked away. How they barely saw each other with him working so much and how it felt like they were roommates instead of a couple. And finally, how they rarely had sex, and when they did it was never more than the quick ‘wham bam thank you ma’am’ variety.
Bobby took it all in without reaction or judgment, asking questions about how Nate or Connie reacted in a given situation to get a better picture. Nate didn’t mind the interrogation. In fact he expected it from his lawyer brother. Bobby was the smartest guy he knew and very good at digging down to get to the root of the problem. Which was exactly what Nate needed.
An hour later Nate finished. He felt like he’d just run a marathon instead of spilled his guts in a packed bar. Purging himself of all the arguments and bad feelings that had accumulated was exhausting, and left him feeling oddly lighter. As if sharing his problems had somehow relieved his burden and made it easier to bear. Maybe this was why women wanted to talk all the time. Well, some women at least, just not Connie.
“All that talking made me thirsty. Want another one?” Nate asked, needing to move around for a minute.
Bobby nodded, “Sure I’ll take another, especially if you’re buying.”
Nate grinned and slid out of the booth to head to the bar, then stopped. “Do you have any advice for me?” He dreaded the answer yet couldn’t bear to wait until he came back to find out. He desperately needed an outside perspective to let me know if there was anything salvageable left of his and Connie’s relationship.
Bobby nodded again, slowly. “I think I do but let me figure out how to say it while you go get the beers. And it’s not something you’re going to expect so please keep an open mind,” he cautioned.
Nate nodded back and made his way to the bar. It was officially packed and took a full ten minutes for him to be served. The whole time he replayed Bobby’s words. He had advice so that was good, but it was something unusual? Maybe he thought they should do a trial separation to see if they missed each other? That was something Nate had considered earlier today, but it wasn’t really that unusual. Finally he gave up trying to speculate, Bobby would tell him soon enough.
Bobby was just ending a phone call when Nate returned, beers in hand. “Who was that?” he asked sliding back into his side of the booth.
“Darcy. I needed to ask her something.” Bobby replied, taking a big slug off his fresh beer. He seemed slightly nervous now Nate noticed, but then he took a deep breath and returned to his normal self-confident self.
“Okay Nate. What I’m going to tell you may sound strange at first but I need you to hear me out. Can you do that?” Bobby asked, looking very serious and very cautious.
“Uh, yeah. Sure.” Nate replied, wondering what the hell could possibly come out of his brother’s mouth that would make him so nervous.
And then Bobby said it and Nate understood why he was acting so odd.
“Have you ever heard of domestic discipline?” Bobby asked. Nate checked to make sure he wasn’t joking and found the same dead-ass serious expression on his brother’s face.
“Like when you spank your wife if she’s bad?” Nate asked and received an affirmative nod from Bobby. “Sure I’ve heard of it on porn sites but it’s not really something people do, is it? I thought it was all just role playing.”
“No, it’s real and lots of people make it a part of their lives.” Bobby paused and took another drink. “Including me and Darcy.”
Nate’s jaw threatened to drop in shock but he covered it by grabbing his beer and gulping several giant swallows. His nice easy going brother beat his wife!
“So you hit her when she makes you mad?” Nate asked, appalled at the thought, “Isn’t that spousal abuse or something?”
“No!” Bobby practically yelled. Luckily the bar was loud enough no one noticed. “I don’t hit her like you’re thinking. I discipline her when she doesn’t live up to the standards we’ve established and agreed on.”
“She’s agreed to let you hit her so that makes it alright?” he asked sarcastically. Nate knew he was beginning to sound like an asshole but he couldn’t help it. What Bobby was admitting to went against everything their father had taught them.
Bobby gave him a nasty look. “You said you’d listen and keep an open mind,” he growled, “Now shut up and listen. You wanted my advice so here it is.”
Bobby was right, Nate had asked for his help. He had to hear him out. Besides, he knew there was no way Bobby would ever really hurt Darcy, he just wasn’t that kind of person no matter what nasty comments Nate blurted out in surprise. And they looked so happy together. Whatever they were doing worked for them, so maybe it would work for him and Connie.
Once Nate managed to wipe the semi-belligerent look off his face Bobby continued.
“Everybody sets up the dynamic differently. Some have the husband giving the wife detailed lists of chores every day and punishing her if he doesn’t get them done. But those women usually need and want that kind of structure. I’m sure you’ve seen people who can’t function without someone telling them what to do.”
Nate had some buddies from high school like that. Once they graduated and lost the rules and regimen of school they never made it out of their parents’ basement. They just drifted along, never accomplishing much. “Yeah, I know some people like that, mostly guys though.”
“There are some relationships where the woman’s in charge and disciplines the husband. It all depends on the people.” Bobb
y explained. “If you don’t want or need to be in complete control of the other person you can just have certain rules that, if they’re broken, will garner punishment. For example, you and Connie could make it so that if she doesn’t complete the jobs you’ve both previously agreed were her responsibility then she gets punished.’
“That sounds more reasonable than the random beatings I was picturing at first.” Nate said, surprising himself. Did he really think that? Shockingly he found he did. Maybe if there were repercussions Connie’s forgetfulness would no longer be an issue. “But I can’t see Connie going for this. It doesn’t really solve the problem of why she started acting this way.
“I know, and that’s another piece of advice I want to give you.” Bobby said.” You need to stop working so much and make Connie more of a priority. Looking back on it, after everything you’ve told me, I believe your problems started shortly after you started working all that overtime.”
Nate opened his mouth to argue, but then he thought back and realized Bobby was correct. It had been little things at first- she stopped making his lunch every day and started going out without him even on nights he was home- but they’d been escalating every since. But… “I started working all that OT to pay for the wedding.” Nate said, then immediately saw the stupidity in that argument before Bobby even said it.
Last Chance Page 2
