I nodded, unable to push the words out. It was as if cotton filled my mouth. My heart fluttered. I was about to see my baby.
She set everything up and gave me a cloth drape. “Just take it and tuck it into your pants and underwear then push them down as far as you can. It will help prevent any gel from getting all over your clothes. And I’ve had the gel in a warmer so at least I won’t be putting it on cold. That’s no fun for you, so I try to do the little things to help.” After she messed with a few more things on her machine, she turned back to me with a smile. “Okay, you can go ahead and fold the gown up, I’ll put the gel on your belly, and then get some measurements. After that, we’ll get to the exciting stuff, okay?”
“Mm-hm.”
When firm fingers threaded through mine and squeezed, I realized Levi had moved to stand next to me. Raising my gaze to his, I watched as he swallowed hard. When I smiled at him, the edges of his lips crept up.
“Okay, here we go. I’ll be pushing down a little but it shouldn’t hurt, so you tell me if anything is uncomfortable.” She squirted the gel on me and I was definitely thankful she’d warmed it. The wand slid around on my belly. Every so often she slid it back and forth, pushed down, and then clicked things on her machine. I couldn’t tell you what exactly she was doing, because I was fascinated as the images changed and morphed in front of my eyes. I was pretty sure I saw a face, but then it was all a bunch of shapes.
“So, I have everything I need. Are you ready for the fun stuff? Let’s see if the little one will cooperate.”
Biting my bottom lip, I glanced up to Levi to try to read his thoughts. His eyes were glued to the screen and he squeezed my hand a little tighter. Returning to the screen, I watched as she moved the thing here and there.
“Okay, here is the face. That’s a nice view! See how he or she is sucking his or her thumb? Okay, that was a mouthful—let’s see if we can narrow down the he or she question. Here is the spine, the legs… hmmm. Well, feet. Someone is modest and is sitting with their legs crossed and their feet tucked close.” She wiggled the thing around some more on my belly. One side, then the other. All the pressing was killing my bladder and I prayed I wouldn’t pee my pants. “Well, if I had to guess, the little I could see looked like a girl.”
“Fuck.” Levi whispered next to me at the same time my mom squealed and covered her mouth with her fingertips. Pulling his hand from mine, he ran it nervously through his hair. Damn, I’m telling you, he looked pale as hell and I was starting to get a little worried about him. Tami spoke again, and it distracted me from him for a moment.
“I’m sorry I couldn’t get a better view, but she wasn’t cooperating very much.” She clicked a few more times, before printing off a few of the black-and-white grainy frames. When I saw “baby girl” in print on one of them, tears filled my eyes. She gave me some cloths to use to wipe the gel off and told us there were some wet wipes on the counter if I needed them. It barely registered with me that she had rolled the ultrasound out of the room, leaving the three of us to process what we’d learned.
Holy hell, I’m having a baby girl.
Things were getting more real. All I could think of was ruffled dresses, bows, and lace-edged socks. We both had dark hair, so I imagined her silky brown hair with tiny little bows in it. The color of her eyes could be anything since my mom had hazel eyes and John and I had brown. Depending on the specific genetics of our brown and Mom’s hazel paired with Levi’s blue, who knew? Regardless of her details, she would be perfect because she was mine. Mine and Levi’s.
Pushing down the fear that anything could still go wrong in this pregnancy, I told myself I would stay positive. I’d constantly worried something would happen during my first trimester. After all, the amount of loss in my life had been significant. The loss of Lucas had been debilitating. It had left me broken and adrift. Finding out I was pregnant had been staggering, but had become my reason for living.
After Lucas, I’d barely been hanging on. After I left Seattle, I was still a mess. Maybe even more so, since I was harboring the additional guilt from my attraction to Levi. I’d beat myself up daily for my actions. This baby had been my saving grace.
“Oh, Poppy, honey. It’s a girl!” My mom had tears running down her cheeks. “We should go shopping for the baby linens and decorations. Now we can get pinks instead of that red, black, and white you were wanting.” The smile on her face lit up the room, and I hated to break her heart, but I really wasn’t into the whole pink or blue crap in a baby’s room.
“Mom. I know you’re excited, but you know how I feel about that.” I used the wet wipes she handed me to remove the residual of the goo on my belly. Neither of us realized Levi hadn’t said much since Tami had told us it was a girl. It wasn’t until I noticed he wasn’t holding my hand that it dawned on me he was once again sitting in the chair. This time with his head in his hands.
“Levi?”
He looked up at me, but no words left his mouth. Besides the little we’d talked about the baby before Tami came in, we hadn’t had much of a chance to discuss anything. He’d spent yesterday helping the guys get their equipment packed up for their flight. Then we’d spoken briefly on the phone last night to confirm the details for the appointment.
John had offered to pay for the room, but Levi adamantly refused. He said John had already paid to change his flight and he wasn’t going to feel like a charity case. There was no arguing with him. In that aspect, he was so much like Lucas had been.
After a long discussion, I’d been able to convince him to stay in my guest room so he didn’t have to pay for a hotel room. I’d met him at the airport this morning when he turned in the rental car after dropping everyone off for their flight, then brought him to my house.
There hadn’t been much time to talk. We’d literally dropped his bags off at my house, then I’d been on the phone with my mom the whole way to her house. So his silence was confusing. I thought he’d at least have something to say about his baby.
Instead, he appeared dazed.
He still hadn’t answered me when Mom ushered him out of the room so I could finish cleaning up. Which was silly because he’d obviously seen me in less. Mentally rolling my eyes at my mother’s actions, I dressed, rushed to the bathroom to relieve my straining bladder, and walked out to the waiting room.
Not seeing him out there, I looked at my mom in question. “Where did he go?”
“He went outside. He’s been out there alternating between pacing and sitting on the bench. I think his ‘little afraid’ of a girl was more like ‘lot afraid.’” Though my mom smiled, trying to lighten the mood, I was growing increasingly worried. Was he mad at me? And if so, what the hell had I done wrong?
Pushing through the doors, I stepped out into the October sunshine. It was cool out, but the sun made it possible to be outside without a jacket. God, I loved Florida. As my mom had said, he was pacing back and forth in front of the clinic.
“Are you ready to go?” Except for a nod, he didn’t say anything before heading to the car. I’d popped the locks with my key fob and Levi climbed into the back seat. Mom and I glanced at each other and both shrugged in confusion.
The entire trip to Mom’s condo, he remained silent. It was pretty evident as she filled the car with chattered plans for the baby in an attempt to defuse the awkwardness.
After she got out and we said our goodbyes, he moved to the front seat, but still remained silent.
By the time I pulled into my garage, it had been over an hour and still not a peep.
The engine was ticking as it cooled and I sat there waiting for him to say something. Anything. When nothing was forthcoming, I tried to engage him once again. “Levi. What the fuck? Is everything okay? You’re really worrying me.”
Initially, I wasn’t even sure he heard me. Staring off into space, he gave no indication he’d taken in a word I said. “Levi?”
“I can’t have a girl.” Um, what?
“Uhh, what do you mean by,
‘you can’t have a girl’ because I’m pretty sure we don’t get to choose.” Confusion colored my words, though I tried to infuse a humorous tone.
“I’m a guy.”
“Riiiiiight. And?” Honestly, I had no idea where he was going with this.
“Fucking A, Poppy. I know what I was like as a teen. I know what my friends were like. Teenage boys literally have one thing on their minds. How the hell am I supposed to deal with that? I’ll have to worry that some little asshole like I was is looking at my daughter the way I looked at girls. And don’t even get me started on the things they do and say! Jesus Christ. I legitimately have no fucking idea how I’m going to keep her safe from all of them. I may have to beat all their asses.” His expression showed me he was dead serious about this. So, being the ever-so-understanding considerate woman I was, I did what any understanding and considerate woman would do.
I laughed.
His incredulous expression only made me chortle with unsurpassed levels of hilarity. I couldn’t have stop laughing if my life depended on it.
“This isn’t funny in the least, Poppy! I have no idea how to keep her safe from the males that will enter into her life. How old does a girl have to be before she can go to wherever they go to be a nun?” That last bit made me snort with unrestrained amusement.
When I finally got my humor under control, I wiped away my tears, sniffed, and breathlessly spoke. “Um, I’m pretty sure they have to be Catholic, which neither of us are, so she would first have to be started out in the Catholic religion. Then I think she’d have to voluntarily choose that, but I’m honestly not certain how it all works. However, we’re not going to do any of that, so we’re not going to worry about that right now.”
“Not worry about that? What do you mean not worry about that? And how can you be so calm about this?” He started muttering a bunch of Jesus H. Christ’s and fucking hell’s, along with words that were indecipherable. My heart went out to him as he opened the car door and lunged out into the garage, but goddamn. The dude needed to get a grip.
One hand ruffled through his dark hair as the other clutched the back of his neck. When I struggled to haul my roly-poly ass out of the car, he snapped out of his head and rushed to help me.
“I’m sorry, I should have thought to help you quicker. Jesus, what the hell is wrong with me? Fuck.” Resting his forehead against mine, he blew out a frustrated breath. I allowed him to just be as I inhaled the intoxicating mix of cologne and the amazingly sexy scent that was just… him.
“Hey. Let’s go inside where I can put my feet up and we can talk.”
Nodding, he held my hand as we entered the house. I kicked off my shoes, freed his hand, stepped into the kitchen to grab a glass of water, and headed into the living room.
Mouth feeling like I’d sucked on a cotton ball, I took a long drink of the water, then set it on the side table. Damn, it had been a long day. Preparing to collapse on the couch, I was surprised when his arms slid around me from behind. Pushing my shirt up out of the way, his hands spanned either side of my belly.
“I don’t want to fuck this up. I’m so afraid of letting you and her down. Poppy, I honestly never gave a lot of thought to becoming a father. Now that I am and it was so unexpected, I’m reeling. The extent of the responsibility being a parent entails is a little daunting.” He buried his nose in the hair at the curve of my neck and shoulder.
Regret for my earlier laughter at his very real concern had me turning in his arms. Resting my hands on his rock-hard chest, I felt the rapid thumps of his racing heart. The hands that had been cradling my belly had slid around me as I turned and now held an ass cheek each.
Our eyes met and my breath hitched. Hormones that had been going crazy started zinging. Being this close to him was electrifying, and every fiber of my being jolted, screaming for less space between our bodies.
“Levi.” His name was a cross between a whisper and a whimper. Our breath mingled, our lips mere centimeters apart.
The next thing I knew, his mouth was pressed to mine and his tongue slid along the slight separation of my lips, begging for entry. It teased, tempted, and tickled until I opened enough to allow him in. Our tongues were dueling—circling, sliding, and flicking, they battled for an unidentified victory.
I slid my fingertips down until I felt the edge of his Henley. Slipping under the hem, they moved up across his rippled abs. The chill of my hands caused him to suck in a breath—and his abdomen. Smooth skin, warm against my palms, wreaked havoc on my self-control. Each thumb flicked across a taut nipple, causing him to moan, before my hands continued up to rest over the tops of his shoulders.
As my hands were wandering, his had ventured along the dip of my lower back and up to where he flicked open my bra clasp with nimble fingers. Once my breasts fell free of the confines of my bra, he trailed around to my front and under the cups. Cradling each, he used his thumbs and index fingers to roll and pluck at my nipples.
Breaking my lips from his as I gasped at the raging sensation overtaking me, I begged, “Ohh, mmmah God, please.” Trying my damnedest to press my aching clit to him, I groaned in frustration when my belly prevented me from obtaining my goal.
“Bedroom?” His voice was as needy as my own.
“Down that hall, only door on the right.” I was breathless, as needy as hell. Horny didn’t even begin to describe how I was feeling. Desperate was slightly more accurate. Spontaneous combustion was possibly next.
With one last kiss to my lips, he disentangled my hands from under his shirt and led the way to my room. Not wanting the harsh overhead light, I reached alongside my bed and clicked on the small bedside lamp.
As soon as I was upright, his hungry lips sought mine once again. The mere touch of his fingers as they wove through my hair and cradled my head sent trills of longing scattering through every cell in my body.
I ached for him. It had been so long, and I responded like an addict during their first relapse. I wanted more, and more, and more. Tingling started between my legs, causing me to squeeze my thighs together. That was a horrible mistake, because it only magnified the feeling. Everything felt so damn good. My pussy throbbed, and I felt the wetness seeping through my panties to my thighs.
“Jesus. Are you trying to kill me?” I rasped as I broke away and tried to catch my breath. Tired of waiting, I whipped my shirt over my head, and my unclasped bra slid down my arms to the floor. I shoved my leggings down to my ankles and stepped out of them.
“Fucking hell, Poppy.” His chest heaved with each breath and he grasped the back of his shirt, pulling it over his head. God knew where it landed. Didn’t know, didn’t care.
Not waiting, I unbuckled his belt with shaking hands. Next went the button and zipper before I shoved his jeans and underwear down together. Dropping to my knees, I watched his face as I wrapped my hands around his thick shaft.
Tightening my grip around his girth, I reveled at the power I held over him with such a simple action. A sharp breath was sucked in as his mouth fell open and his eyes closed. When he opened them again, his lids still rested half closed. Hands clenching and unclenching in fists at his sides, he stood still. Waiting.
Pulling my gaze to where my hands stroked him, I was shocked to see a flash of silver. “Holy shit. You got pierced?” My jaw may or may not have dropped to the floor.
“It was a dare. Fucking Aiden… and way too much alcohol one night. Don’t even ask about the rest of the guys.” His gasped words cut off abruptly when I feathered my fingertips over the silver balls that appeared to sit on top of his glans.
“What’s it called?” I was freaking fascinated. Squeezing lightly, I was mesmerized by both the glistening drop that appeared at the tip and the silver piercing glinting in the lamplight.
“A dydoe,” he groaned.
My eyes flicked up to his. Heavy-lidded, he watched me as I knelt at his feet. Muscles tense, he waited. I leaned closer, licking my lips in anticipation. Every movement was automatic, our bod
ies following an instinctual path, as if this moment was written in time by hands much more powerful than our own.
More than anything, I wanted to cause him to lose control at my touch. As soon as I circled the tip of my tongue around those shining beads and he groaned, I was the one who was a goner.
“Good Man”—Devour the Day
“Goddamn. Fuck, yes. Just like that.” My knees were literally shaking as she slid my cock slowly into her mouth and all the way to the back of her throat. When she swirled her tongue around it as she backed off, my eyes actually rolled back in my fucking head. Threading my fingers into her satiny mane, I clenched it in my fists as I guided her.
With each stroke, I felt myself get closer to blowing. That weird tingle I knew so well rushed up my spine, my balls pulled up tight, and my cock swelled. I really didn’t want to have my first time with her in months to be in her mouth, but fuck if I could stop.
“Mmmmm.” The vibration of her humming had me fighting off the inevitable. With each trip I took down her throat, she got red in the face. Occasionally she gagged. But she never stopped, and her hands clutched my hips, preventing me from pulling out. It was sexy as fuck and only contributed to my pending explosion.
“Poppy, you have to stop. Fuck, you’re going to make me come.” When I tried to pull her off, she glared at me, lips still wrapped tightly around me, and dug her fingernails in my ass. “Fucking Jesus,” I whispered. That was by far the sexiest fucking thing I think I’ve ever seen.
Knowing it was a lost cause, I fucked her mouth like she was demanding. Let’s face it, by then it would have been like trying to stop a runaway train anyway. With my bare hands. Not happening. Hell, I knew it wasn’t going to be long, and I was right. Barely three thrusts and I was done.
“Fuuuuuuuck! Oh God. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.” More intelligent words were beyond my brain’s capability. Actual sentences, impossible.
When my brain started functioning again, my body jerked at the oversensitivity from her continued attention. It was too goddamn much, and yet she had me hard and ready to go again. Pulling on her hair with a little more force than I had before, I was able to get her to release my cock from her heavenly mouth.
Make Music With Me Page 19
