“You’re nervous,” she said softly.
He shook his head. He could only hope his anxiety wouldn’t be as apparent to his mother as it was to his wife. Nothing ever seemed to upset Larissa Mallory, so his desire was to appear just as calm and collected as she.
“Why do you say that?”
“Your foot.” She smiled and cocked her head toward his boot. When he followed her gaze, he saw that his foot was twitching wildly. It took effort to slow its movement.
“I’m sorry,” he said with a sheepish shrug.
She slowly withdrew her warm hand from his. He regretted the loss of her touch. It was a pleasure she gave him less and less since their argument a week before. The change was subtle, but as evident to him as if someone had cut off his air.
Katherine hadn’t fought with him since their encounter when she learned the truth. In fact, she spoke kindly to him. She aided him in his search, as she promised she would. She even submitted willingly to his desires when he came to her in bed.
Despite all that, she was distant. It was as if she were carefully removing herself from his life. Or removing him from hers.
He didn’t know how to heal the breach he’d caused. He only knew he wanted to. But he couldn’t do it now. Until his past was fully resolved, he couldn’t begin to approach the future.
Katherine stood up and walked to the window. She stared outside for a moment before she said, “I know this is difficult for you. I wish I could make it easier.”
He stood and took a step toward her. She didn’t turn, but the stiffening of her shoulders let him know she was aware of him.
“You help me simply by being here,” he said softly. “It means everything to me that you accompanied me even though I know you’re still hurt and angered by my regrettable actions and choices.”
She did turn at that, eyes wide as if she were surprised he had even noticed her emotions.
“Dominic—” she began.
Before she could finish, the door to the parlor opened and Larissa Mallory entered. From the stiff way she held herself and the wariness in her eyes, it was clear she had guessed the reasons for their visit and wasn’t looking forward to the confrontation any more than he was.
“Dominic, Katherine,” she said.
When he stepped forward to kiss her hand, she waved him back. He frowned as he followed her silent order, refusing to let his mother’s quiet disregard worry him.
“I didn’t expect you. You should have sent word you were coming.”
“Can’t a son visit his mother?” he asked in an empty voice.
Her eyes narrowed. “Yes, of course. But perhaps next time you could write so I’d be prepared.”
“With what?” he barked, clenching his fists as his control faltered. “More lies and denials?”
Katherine stepped closer to grasp his hand. One by one his fingers unclenched of their own accord and the tension in his body eased a fraction.
“Larissa, Dominic,” Katherine said in a soothing tone meant to moderate. “I’m sure neither of you wants to say or do anything that will damage your relationship. But there must be a way to resolve this problem.” She looked at his mother evenly. “You know why we’re here.”
Her nostrils flaring, Larissa nodded once. “To stir up a past that is better left unexplored.”
Dominic barked out a bitter laugh. “Well, that’s the closest you have ever come to admitting there is a past without a drink in your hand. I suppose that’s progress in its own way.”
Katherine opened her mouth to intervene a second time, but Larissa was quicker. “You shouldn’t have come here, Dominic. And you shouldn’t have pursued whatever drove you to take Lansing Square away from your brother.”
“You know why I took it,” Dominic growled. “I want to know who my father is.”
His mother paled a shade at his directness. “I was married to Harrison Mallory when you were conceived. In the eyes of the law, you are his son.”
He surged to his feet as years of suppressed frustration overcame him. “And what about the eyes of God? Or my own eyes? Or is the law the only thing that matters to you, Mother?”
“What matters to me is protecting the people I love!” she cried.
Dominic shook his head. “Who do you love, Mother? Harrison Mallory? The man treated you with nothing but contempt. Colden? He is his father incarnate. Why do you wish to protect them over me?”
Larissa hesitated. Her gaze flitted up to his face and softened just a fraction. For a brief, powerful moment, he thought she might finally give him the answers he sought. But then she looked away. Her face hardened with ice.
“Leave this be, Dominic. The past is better left hidden.”
He shut his eyes as he attempted to tame the anger and disappointment that closed his throat.
“Better for whom?” he asked when he was able. “I cannot leave the past hidden. It is everywhere. I cannot rest until I have the answer to one question. Just one, but you are the only person who can answer it. This is your last chance to do so. Who is my father?”
Katherine gasped, but other than that the room was silent as he waited for his mother’s reply. Larissa stared up at him with watery eyes and trembling hands. He almost pitied her. She must have suffered her own hell throughout her years as Harrison Mallory’s wife. Enough that she sought comfort in the arms of another man.
“Knowing his name will bring you no peace,” she whispered. “And it will certainly bring him nothing but heartache. Our lives are very different than they were thirty years ago. To pursue him would only cause pain. Even if Harrison can no longer harm him, it doesn’t follow that no harm could be done by pursuing this.” Larissa took a shaky breath. “I am sorry, Dominic. You’ve wasted your time coming all this way for answers I’ll never be able to give you.”
Katherine released his hand and stepped toward his mother. He saw a fire hidden deep in her stare. “Surely you aren’t saying you’ll never give Dominic the benefit of the truth? How can you let his pain continue if you care for him at all?”
Larissa winced. Color filled her face as she turned to Katherine. “You know nothing about it. It isn’t your affair. I beg you to leave it be.”
Dominic’s jaw twitched. “Katherine is my wife, my past is most definitely her affair.”
Katherine touched his arm. “Dominic, it’s all right. Emotions are high and—”
He cut her off with a shake of his head. “No, it isn’t all right. My mother has no right to dismiss us in this fashion. You are only trying to help, and I am only trying to determine information I believe is within my rights.”
“Information she’s wise not to share.”
The group turned at the cold voice at the door. Colden stood in the doorway, his arms folded and a smug smile on his face. Dominic stiffened. As unpleasant as this confrontation had been so far, it was about to get much, much uglier.
Powerful, unsettling anger filled Katherine as she stared at the man she once planned to marry. A week ago she’d been too shocked to truly react to Cole’s deceit. Now she’d had plenty of time to reflect on everything he’d done, both to her and to her husband. Her anger threatened to overflow. How dare he interfere? How dare he look so smug?
Cole straightened up with a laugh that cut through Katherine’s body into her soul. “Go home, Dominic. Go run away and continue searching for a father you’ll never find. My father didn’t want you and neither does your own. Learn to live with it, By-blow.”
Larissa stiffened at her eldest son’s ugliness. “Colden, that’s enough!”
Katherine stared at her mother-in-law. That was all she could say? Protective fury rushed through her. She hated Cole for causing the man she loved so much pain. Not just tonight, but for all the years he rubbed Dominic’s parentage into his face, for the way he denied Dominic entry into Lansing Square until her husband had been forced to make a devil’s bargain. For making the lines of Dominic’s face hard with years of bitter disappointment.
&
nbsp; “How dare you?” she heard herself utter in a low voice that pierced through the room nonetheless. “How dare you speak to Dominic in that fashion?”
Cole started as if he hadn’t noticed her presence before. The smug smile faded, replaced by false sympathy. She reeled back as she once again saw how wrong she’d been about him.
All her life, Katherine believed love could blind her to a man’s faults. To a husband’s betrayals. That belief had driven her to look for a life devoid of love and passion.
In was ironic that her choice in a husband had been the very worst of men. Ultimately, she had been blinded, not by love, but by faith in the mask Cole wore. A mask of safety. Security.
But her true security had been with Dominic. It had been from the moment they said their marriage vows. Even with lies between them, Dominic had never manipulated her heart. He’d never tried to take advantage of her fears.
She stared at her husband as that realization took full effect.
Cole shook off his shock at her outburst and stepped forward. “Katherine, I’m sorry. Sorry about deceiving you and sorry I allowed you to be shackled to my brother. If I could but take back my actions…”
Katherine stiffened her spine and folded her arm into the crook of Dominic’s. “If I could go back in time, I would change nothing,” she said softly. “I thank the heavens every single day I didn’t find myself shackled, as you put it, to you. Because you are the only bastard in this room. Dominic is just a victim of a family who never gave him a chance to find out the truth about himself.” She shot Cole a hard look first, then Larissa.
But when her eyes drifted to Dominic, she found him staring down at her in shock. Then the shock faded to gratitude and tenderness, both true and real emotions she had no doubt he felt.
Just not love.
He hardened his jaw as he looked his brother and mother up and down. “I should have known I would find no peace here. I never have. And this will be the last time I’ll look for it. Colden, enjoy what you earned by your lies and betrayals.” He leaned closer and there was a clear message in his eyes. “Because I will not save you from yourself ever again. And mother”—he turned on her and his expression softened just a fraction—“you guard your secrets. I don’t know why. But since you cannot seem to bear the sight of me, I won’t trouble you again. Julia is my only family now.” He smiled down at Katherine and her heart raced. “And my wife.”
Larissa jolted as if she’d been slapped, but she remained motionless as Dominic led Katherine to the door.
“Wait,” she said.
Dominic turned back and Katherine could feel the hope and anxiety in every fiber of his being.
“Yes?”
“I wish…If I thought giving you the answers you seek would come to any good—”
Dominic’s shoulders relaxed with disappointment, but then he stiffened his posture. “Yes. So you’ve said.”
Though his face was strong as he swept from the room with her on his arm, deep in the steely gray of his eyes, Katherine saw his loss. She’d never been more proud of another person in her life. He had left with dignity. She only wished he could have left with answers. With any kind of resolution.
As they settled into the carriage, Dominic sagged against the seat. For the first time, he looked defeated, as if the years of wondering about his past and worrying about his future had finally caught up with him in just the few short moments they spent in the sitting room.
In a way, she supposed they had. He had offered his mother one final chance to make the right choice. Katherine thought she would. She never guessed a mother would deny her child outright. Now Dominic believed his search would never come to an end. At least not the end he envisioned over all his years of looking and hoping.
With a sigh, she reached out to touch his cheek. He smiled at the caress, but his eyes were curiously blank.
“Oh, Dominic, I’m so sorry,” she whispered, wracking her brain for a way she could make this right. Only one came and it would require something she hadn’t thought she could give. Her forgiveness. Her comfort.
Her heart.
Chapter 17
K atherine set down her spoonful of stew with a sigh. She couldn’t bear to swallow even one more bite. Not when her stomach churned with nausea and her head spun.
It didn’t seem like her husband was faring much better. He’d hardly spoken since they left his mother and brother after their ugly confrontation. In the carriage he was withdrawn, weighed down by emotions. Since their arrival at the inn, the same one where they spent their first night together as man and wife, he had been little better.
His anger was evident. Less evident, but just as present was his disappointment. His regret.
There was so much Katherine wanted to say to him, but she kept her counsel for now. Until they were alone, she didn’t dare broach the subject of what had happened today. And when she offered him comfort, she didn’t want a chance of interruption. She wanted Dominic to lose himself in her completely. Until she helped him forget.
Dominic looked at her sharply, as if he suddenly recalled they sat together.
“You’ve hardly eaten,” he said, his voice harsh in the stifling quiet of the room. Though there were other travelers at the inn, none were eating so late.
She smiled gently. “I’m not hungry. It’s been an upsetting day.”
His face twisted. “Yes. I’m sorry our time was wasted.”
She itched to take his hand or smooth the wayward lock of hair from his forehead. To do anything to ease the memories of that afternoon and the uncertainty of the future. She fought the desire for a brief moment, but finally surrendered to it. She took his hand.
“I’m not sorry we tried,” she said.
He was quiet, but for a long time simply looked at their entwined hands, then up to her face with an unreadable expression that still warmed her through her every fiber. He cleared his throat.
“We should go up. As you said, it has been a long and upsetting day. We both need our rest.” His voice grew distant. “Tomorrow we return to Lansing Square, and then…I don’t know…”
Slowly, she nodded, anticipating what she would offer him once they were alone. Her body as solace. Her heart, even if he didn’t recognize that gift.
“Very well.”
The innkeeper’s wife, who remembered them from their wedding night stay, seemed to sense their mood, for she said very little as she led them upstairs. But she couldn’t resist a smile when she opened the door to their room.
“I thought to put you in the same chamber as last time, Mr. and Mrs. Mallory. Like a second wedding trip for you.”
Katherine blushed as she remembered her first wedding trip. Dominic seemed to hardly notice the room as he strode inside.
“Thank you very much,” Katherine said, so the woman wouldn’t be offended. “The room is as lovely as it was the first time. We’re pleased to stay here a second night.”
The innkeeper’s wife gave Dominic a cautious glance, then whispered, “Will you be needing anything else, my dear?”
Katherine shook her head. “No, good night.”
She shut the door and turned in time to see Dominic toss his jacket on the table and slump down in a chair by the bright fire. In the light, it was easy to see just how weary he was, both physically and emotionally.
She drew in a breath and finally gave in to her desires. The need to touch him. To hold him. To give him everything worth sharing.
Quietly, she slipped up behind him and began rubbing his shoulders. The muscles were tight as she worked each one with firm strokes of her hands. Rolling his head back against the chair, Dominic let out a low, satisfied groan.
“Good?” she said softly as she worked an especially tense muscle with her thumb.
“Mmmm,” was his only reply.
She continued her massage in silence for what seemed like a long time. Slowly, Dominic’s body relaxed and his breathing became heavy and regular. She was beginning to wonder if
he’d fallen asleep in his chair when he said, “Kat?”
Without stopping her soothing touch, she answered, “Yes?”
“I am at a loss. You’ve seen the way my family works, but I know nothing about yours, even after all the time we’ve spent together.” His voice was measured, but she sensed the real need behind his words.
She hesitated. Her plans for surrender tonight were all associated with the physical. Dominic was asking for an emotional gift, instead. One she found herself longing to give, even if she couldn’t tell him everything.
“Let me ask you something first.”
His neck worked under her fingers as he nodded wordlessly. She drew in a deep breath. “Sarah implied more than once that you and she carried on an affair of some kind. Did you?”
She held her breath. Heavy silence filled the room and Katherine almost faltered in her continued massage as she waited for the inevitable answer.
He exhaled slowly. “When Cole first married Sarah I will confess I found her very beautiful. It was her greatest attribute…often the only thing to recommend her to others. She was accustomed to the attention. She knew the signs when a man found her attractive. I was no different. She flirted with me.”
Katherine nodded begrudgingly. “There is no denying Sarah’s beauty.”
His shoulders tensed again. “I admit I returned the flirtation, though it was innocent and casual. Whatever I felt for Colden, I wouldn’t have gone so far as to pursue his wife. Despite the growing problems between them, I never believed Sarah would turn to me, either. Until one night when she showed up in my bed in London. We kissed, just once. I realized I wanted nothing to do with the kind of woman who would marry one brother and play with the other.”
She nodded as a sharp but brief flash of pain ripped through her. “What happened?”
“When I refused her advances and asked her to leave, she turned to her usual bitter diatribes as retaliation. I went to the door to go myself, but found Cole on the other side.”
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