by Lisa Olsen
“Tomorrow? Alright.” If he was disappointed, he did a good job of hiding it.
“I’ll talk to you then. Bye, Ben, I’m glad we talked.”
“Good bye, Mercy, I’m glad we talked too.”
* * *
I started talking to Ben each night before I went to bed. Sometimes it was late, after I’d gotten home from work, but Ben always answered when I called, and stayed up with me as long as I wanted to. We talked about everything and nothing, getting to know each other better. Gradually I lost my anger, but something kept me from inviting him over or agreeing to see him in person.
Work was good, uneventful which suited me fine. Aize="+0" size="+0" face="Times New Roman">s day after day went by with still no word from either Adam or Sam, I started to wonder if I’d ever see either of them again. Once or twice I thought I glimpsed Sam out of the corner of my eye, but whenever I looked there was no trace of him. Frankly I didn’t credit him with being that sneaky. If he was around why hadn’t he returned any of my calls? Eventually I assumed it was my overactive imagination and accepted that my angels had moved on.
On the plus side, I hadn’t seen any sign of Cephas or his like since that night either. Of course I didn’t go near that church again, I wasn’t completely stupid. Apart from a few new interesting traits, I started to settle back into my normal routine again. It was almost as if I’d never even met an angel.
Almost.
And if I still dreamed about Adam… well, that’s all they were - dreams.
The day came when I decided to invite Ben over. Nothing fancy, just to watch a movie, order a pizza and maybe start to rebuild some of the ground we’d lost. He’d shown remarkable restraint, I thought, in not bringing up anything about Sam or Adam or the time he followed me to Sam’s place. I figured the least I could do was return the favor and see if we could put it all in the past. Aftast="+0" faer all, I wasn’t really involved with them anymore, what harm could come out of it?
I was glad to see Ben’s familiar smile when I opened the door and not any nasty surprises. It was funny how even after a couple of weeks of normalcy I still expected to find a nasty surprise on the other side of my door.
“Hi, Mercy, you look great.” Ben stepped inside, hesitating for a moment before leaning in to lay a chaste kiss to my cheek.
“So do you,” I replied, and I meant it, I’d missed him. “What kind of pizza do you want?” The business of ordering pizza and picking a movie aside, we settled on the couch beside each other and I was surprised at how quickly the easy comfortable feeling sprang up between us.
One moment we were laughing over a particularly grotesque sequence in one of my favorite horror movies, Slither (if you haven’t seen that one, I recommend it! Only you shouldn’t watch it if you’re squeamish about slugs or aliens munching on dead animals). The next thing I knew we were kissing, and it reminded me of that first clinch on his couch the night I’d first stayed over at his place.
“I missed you,” he breathed between kisses, and I felt a tug at my heart.
“Missed you too,” I murmured against his mouth. The movie forgotten, my hands tugged at his shirt, pulling him close.
“Ugh, what do you see in this bozo?” I heard Adam’s voice, and opened my eyes to see him shaking his head in disgust behind Ben’s back.
“You have got to be kidding me.” I wrenched my mouth from his, my eyes squinching shut for a long moment but when I opened them again, Adam still stood there.
“What?” Ben had every right to look confused at the interruption.
I know, I was doing it again. But I challenge you not to react when someone talks to you, seen or unseen. At least I kept the swearing inside my head.
“I’m sorry, I um, I just remembered something I have to do. I’ll be right back.”
“Mercy, is everything alright?”
“I’ll let you know in a minute,” I muttered darkly, moving into my bedroom after shooting Adam a look to make it clear I wanted him to follow me.
“What are you doing with that schmo? ” Adam demanded, as soon as I had the door shut.
“He happens to be a nice guy,” I hissed, not at all amused by the interruption, even as I couldn’t help but notice he looked fantastic. Then again, he’d never looked anything but fantastically tempting to me, even when the most obnoxious things came out of his mouth.
“You deserve better.”
“Yeah? Who do I deserve, Adam? Tell me,” I challenged him, taking a step closer and he fell silent. “Where have you been?” I pleaded with him to tell me something, anything real, but again, he remained silent. “Why did you come here tonight?” I tried again.
Adam remained silent.
What kind of game was he playing? I don’t want you but I don’t want anyone else to have you either? It drove me insane, because only an insane person would have wished he’d stick around if only to trade smarmy quips in that moment. I would have kicked Ben to the curb just then if he’d asked me to, but still nothing came from his lips.
“You can’t keep showing up here every time I start to put my life back together. Unless… you have something else to tell melsery te?” I waited, chewing at my bottom lip while I waited for some sign from him he might be ready to chuck his ridiculous notion to keep his distance from me.
“Mercy…” At that one word alone I knew nothing had changed.
“Save it,” my shoulders slumped. “You’re right, I do deserve better. But I don’t see it waiting in here for me, do I?”
His silence spoke volumes.
“Mercy, the pizza’s here, I’ll take care of it,” Ben called out from the other room.
“Okay, I’ll be right there,” I replied in the most normal voice I could manage before I turned back to Adam. “I don’t want to do this anymore. You don’t want me, I get it. So just stop torturing me, please. If you have something to tell me, go through Sam from now on.”
“Is that what you think? That I don’t want you?” Adam took a step closer towards me, but I retreated.
“I know you don’t. Otherwise whatever it is you’re afraid of wouldn’t matter.”
“Mercy, it’s not that…”
“Simple, I remember,” I cut him off. “Well, that’s all I’m trying to do right now, simple my life up. And right now it includes that man out there because he’s good and honest and he genuinely cares about me and isn’t afraid to say it.”
“Do you love him?”
It was my turn to fall silent. Did I love Ben? It was too soon to tell. I liked him a lot, but lm at.&ove… “It’s not important.”
“Damn it, Mercy, answer me.” Adam pressed me up against the closed door, his voice low and urgent. “Do you love him?”
By the way my body instantly reacted to how he pressed against me I knew the answer. For a second I considered lying, it might simple things up between us but not in the way that I wanted. “No.” My breath caught at the expression my confession produced on his face and I almost thought it would make a difference, but then that resignation returned.
Leaning in, his lips grazed my cheek. “Goodbye, Mercy. I won’t bother you again,” he murmured. But as he pulled away, my lips turned towards his, catching the corner of his mouth. The moment our lips touched, his mouth chased hungrily after mine and I was lost, utterly swept up in the maelstrom of emotions that sprang up at the intimate contact. It was so much more than the last kiss we’d shared, but bittersweet, because I could feel it was goodbye, no matter how much I wished it could be otherwise.
“Mercy?” Ben’s voice came again through the door, and I fancied he was in the kitchen, hunting for plates.
Adam wrenched his lips from mine, breathing raggedly as he pressed his forehead to mine. “Be right there.” My voice came out sounding shaky. “Please…” I whispered, one last plea.
“I can’t,span>” Adam shook his head. “I won’t lose you too.”
“I’m not her.”
“No,” he found his smile then, long fingers str
oking the underside of my jaw. “You’re not. And you’re going to be just fine without me.”
“You won’t come any more if I call, will you?”
“You won’t need to call,” he said confidently, but I wasn’t so sure.
“I guess this is really goodbye then.” I took a deep steadying breath as he pulled away from me, moving to the window.
Adam nodded. “Thanks.”
“For what?”
“Reminding me who I am.” With that cryptic goodbye, he was gone in a rush of dark wings, leaving me all alone in my bedroom.
A soft knock came on the door I leaned against, and I pulled it open to reveal a very worried looking Ben on the other side. “Mercy, are you alright?”
I swiped at the tears gathering at the corner of my eyes. “I got some bad news is all.”
“Aw, come here.” Ben gathered me up into a big hug and I laid my head on his shoulders, tears falling silent and hot until the sharp sting of loss started to subside. I would grieve later in the silence of my bedroom at night, but Adam was right, I would survive itite latean>.
“I’m okay now.” I sniffed, pulling back with a tentative smile.
“Are you sure you’re alright?” Ben searched my face carefully, the concern in his eyes plain for anyone to see.
I let out a long, calming breath, my chin coming up with hope. “No, but I will be.”
Epilogue
I was right.
The more time passed, the less I thought of Adam, Sam or anything supernatural. One week stretched into two and the next thing I knew a couple of months passed by and still no word from either angel. If Nathanael and his buddies made a decision about me, I wasn’t privy to it, and as long as they left me alone I didn’t really care. While I was careful to avoid going anywhere near that church or any others, to my relief I didn’t see Cephas or anything like him either.
Apart from my ability to see people’s souls and the occasional offer of help to cure someone’s minor injury, I settled back into my old life again. I even started taking massage therapy classes. Not that I wanted to give up working in the club, but when someone had a headache and you had thite sizn">e ability to heal it in a flash, I found it helped to have a tangible reason for it to work in order for people to accept it more easily.
Matty and I eventually got past our differences, mostly because I might have led him to believe the ability wore off over time. Alright, I did tell him it was gone, and from the look of disappointment on his face at the news I knew I’d done the right thing. Convinced the power of imperceptibility was more trouble than it was worth, I left off using it for the most part. Daphne was the only one who knew the truth, the only one I could confide in everything.
Ben and I were still going strong. He stopped asking me about that night with Nathanael and Adam outside the restaurant or what my association with Sam had been about. After a while it didn’t seem to matter anymore, as day after day went by without anything strange cropping up again. While I do recall seeing his fingers trace over my smooth, unblemished abdomen in search of a surgery scar with a thoughtful expression from time to time, he never said anything to me about it.
Part of me felt bad for keeping part of myself hidden from Ben, but then again, how many of us feel the need to share everything with the person we date? We hadn’t even traded I love you’s yet, and I rationalized to myself I wasn’t going to let it affect our relationship. I had years to go before I’d know if I was immortal and the little things seemed easier to sweep under the rug than get into. Besides, Ben seemed happy with things the way they were. We even made plans for the holidays to have everyone over at his place for dinner and I’d get to meet his parents. But first came Halloween, my favorite holiday of the year.
I’ve always preferred Halloween to even Christmas or my birthday, ever since I was a kid. There’s something about dressing up and becoming another person for a day… it always appealed to me. In the past Daphne and I have gone all out on our costumes, and I taught myself how to sew to help come up with an outfit that looked believable and wouldn’t break my wallet.
The Halloween Party at Eden had become something of a legend among our set. On whatever Sunday was closest to the holiday, Parker closed down the bar to paying customers and it was open to employees and their friends and family for the night. Costumes were mandatory.
In the past I’d always asked Daphne and Matty to come and Parker was pretty liberal with the guest list even though it was an open bar. For about two seconds I thought about dressing as an angel that year, but decided in the end it was "Times"+0" face="Times New Roman">too cheesy. Instead, I went as a nurse, a sly wink to my healing ability. Ben came dressed as my patient, the ragged bandages around his head and arm a testament to my clumsy ability with a roll of gauze, but it seemed to work with a slightly comical effect.
I knew Daphne was coming as a pirate wench with her boyfriend du jour Jake coming as a pirate king. Matty, I wasn’t sure of, but he said he’d be there and I looked forward to having him meet Ben.
I promised Parker I’d come early to help him set up, so I made plans to meet Ben there. Parker already had most of the decorations up by himself by the time I got there, but I grabbed a step stool and a roll of scotch tape and got to work. He was dressed all in black as a military commando type, complete with a flak vest and an earpiece as though he was ready to take orders at any moment. He looked great, a little dangerous and kinda sexy even, though I would never have told him so, his ego was big enough as it was.
“Sexy nurse, I like it,” he grinned when he saw me.
“It’s not a sexy nurse outfit,” I frowned, thinking he likened my outfit to those cheap nylon costumes you could buy in stores, usually showing more asscheek than I liked to leave the house in. I tried my best to find a white nurse’s dress pattern that wasn’t too old fashioned. Not the modern scrubs most of them wore now, but not a cheesy fetish costume either.
“Sure it is.” Parker dropped a wink before turning back to hanging a giant fuzzy black spider on the overhead lights. “What’s Ben coming as tonight, Sherlock Holmes?”
I was glad he stopped referring to Ben as ‘the cop’ as he’d done for the first few weeks until it because obvious I was seriously dating him. “Ha, ha. No, he’s coming as my patient, bloody bandages and all,” I smiled, setting up a string of orange pumpkin shaped lights. “What about your date, is she coming as GI Jane?” I teased.
“No, I’m going stag tonight.”
“No date?” My brows came up in surprise. Parker did alright with the ladies. He was rich and good looking, most girls didn’t ask for much more than that.
“No, I’m a rebel, Mercy, a lone wolf…” he replied, affecting a grizzled, raspy tone of voice. Maybe it was an impression of Jason Statham for all I knew, it just made me giggle.
“Maybe you’ll meet your match at the party tonight.”
“Yeah, maybe,” he allowed with a chuckle.
We hung the rest of the decorations, and I went to the bar to start mixing up Parker’s famous Halloween punch; a mixture of too many alcohols to list that still managed to taste good after he added his secret ingredient.
The door opened, and Parker took one look, calling out the usual. “Club’s closed tonight, private party,” before muttering, “there’s a sign right on the front door, moron.”
My head came up to see who it was and I froze in shock as I spotted Sam looking just the same as I’d last seen him, in his shorter hairstyle and long black coat. “Sam?”
“Did you invite this guy?” Parker looked between the two of us, clearly wondering what the relationship was there.
“No, but…”
“I must speak with you,” Sam said in a voice that brooked no argument, and I felt my stomach instantly clench into a ball of stress.
“I’ve gotta go get things set up in the booth so… I’ll leave you to it.” Parker excused himself with a final look to Sam.
Sam waited until Parker was all the way a
cross the club before he approached the bar, his expression inscrutable.
“Wow, Sam. Long time no see,” I said with false cheer, my hands keeping busy behind the bar.
“Yes, it has been too long.”
I kept my silence at that. If it had been too long it was his fault for not returning any of my calls.
“I know I am not supposed to talk to you…” he began in a conciliatory voice.
That was not what I had expected to hear at all. “Wait, why not?” I interrupted.
“Adam was most specific.”
“Adam told you not to see me?” My voice climbed several octaves into a range only dogs could hear. Oh, I was livid! It still makes me mad to think about it.
“He bade me not to speak with you or let myself be seen, but I have ever watched over you, in case you should need my protection.”
“I needed you! I called for you that night outside the church and you never came.” Even after all of those weeks his abandonment still stung, and I had to wonder why he felt the need to follow such a ridiculous edict from Adam.
“Ah, that was regrettable, but I was unavailable that night. It was only later that I heard of the danger you faced and for that I am truly sorry.” Sam did seem genuinely regretful at that, and I felt a little mollified.
“Where did you go that you couldn’t hear me call you?”
“I went up to see Nathanael
.”
“You did?” I could feel my brows climb a mile. Somehow I was under the impression he was forbidden to do that. “Why?”
“I could not allow Adam to take the blame for my actions. If there is a price to be paid, I stand ready to pay it.”
I couldn’t fault him for that, and it wasn’t like he could have known I would be attacked that night anyway. I felt some of my anger start to melt. But still… “And you couldn’t tell me? You disappeared without a word. I had no idea what happened to you.”
“It was not by my design. Adam was very specific.”
“He’s way too bossy for his own good,” I muttered.
