Buzzzzzzz!
“Shall we go over that again, Mrs. Donahue?”
“Well…anyhow, I rushed at it and began to beat it on the head. It snapped at me. Those great teeth…”
Buzzzzz!
“Then what happened, Mrs. Donahue?”
“Well, it turned away, the cowardly thing, and ran out of my yard. I don’t know where it went. But there was my lovely garden, just ruined.” The needle quivered but the buzzer did not sound.
Greenberg turned to the lawyer. “Mr. Beanfield, have you examined the damage to Mrs. Donahue’s garden?”
“Yes, your honor.”
“Will you tell us the extent of the damage?”
Mr. Beanfield decided that he would rather lose a client than be buzzed in open court by that confounded toy. “Five bushes were eaten, your honor, in whole or in part. There was minor damage to the lawn and a hole made in an ornamental fence.”
“Financial damage?”
Mr. Beanfield said carefully, “The amount we are suing for is before you, your honor.”
“That is not responsive, Mr. Beanfield.”
Mr. Beanfield shrugged mentally and struck Mrs. Donahue off his list of paying properties. “Oh, around a couple of hundred, your honor, in property damage. But the court should allow for inconvenience and mental anguish.”
Mrs. Donahue yelped. “That’s preposterous! My prize roses.”
The needle jumped and fell back too quickly to work the buzzer. Greenberg said wearily, “What prizes, Mrs. Donahue?”
Her lawyer cut in, “They were right next to Mrs. Donahue’s well-known champion plants. Her courageous action saved the more valuable bushes, I am happy to say.”
“Is there more to add?”
“I think not. I have photographs, marked and identified, to offer.”
“Very well.”
Mrs. Donahue glared at her lawyer. “Well! I have something to add. There is one thing I insist on, absolutely insist on, and that is that that dangerous, blood-thirsty beast be destroyed!”
Greenberg turned to Beanfield. “Is that a formal prayer, counsellor? Or may we regard it as rhetoric?”
Beanfield looked uncomfortable. “We have such a petition, your honor.”
“The court will receive it.”
Betty butted in with, “Hey, wait a minute! All Lummie did was eat a few of her measly old…”
“Later, Miss Sorenson.”
“But…”
“Later, please. You will have your chance. The court is now of the opinion that it has all the pertinent facts. Does anyone have any new facts to bring out, or does anyone wish to question further any witness? Or bring forward another witness?”
“We do,” Betty said at once.
“You do what?”
“We want to call a new witness.”
“Very well. Do you have him here?”
“Yes, your honor. Just outside. Lummox.”
Greenberg looked thoughtful. “Do I understand that you are proposing to put, uh, Lummox on the stand in his own defense?”
“Why not? He can talk.”
A reporter turned suddenly to a colleague and whispered to him, then hurried out of the room. Greenberg chewed his lip. “I know that,” he admitted. “I exchanged a few words with him myself. But the ability to talk does not alone make a competent witness. A child may learn to talk, after a fashion, before it is a year old, but only rarely is a child of tender years…less than five, let us say…found competent to give testimony. The court takes judicial notice that members of non-human races…non-human in the biological sense…may give evidence. But nothing has been presented to show that this particular extra-terrestrial is competent.”
John Thomas whispered worriedly to Betty, “Have you slipped your cams? There’s no telling what Lummie would say.”
“Hush!” She went on to Greenberg. “Look, Mr. Commissioner, you’ve said a fancy lot of words, but what do they mean? You are about to pass judgment on Lummox…and you won’t even bother to ask him a question. You say he can’t give competent evidence. Well, I’ve seen others around here who didn’t do so well. I’ll bet if you hook a truth meter to Lummie, it won’t buzz. Sure, he did things he shouldn’t have done. He ate some scrawny old rose bushes and he ate Mr. Ito’s cabbages. What’s horrible about that? When you were a kid, did you ever swipe a cookie when you thought nobody was looking?”
She took a deep breath. “Suppose when you swiped that cookie, somebody hit you in the face with a broom? Or fired a gun at you? Wouldn’t you be scared? Wouldn’t you run? Lummie is friendly. Everybody around here knows that…or at least if they don’t they are stupider and more irresponsible than he is. But did anybody try to reason with him? Oh, no! They bullied him and fired off guns at him and scared him to death and chased him off bridges. You say Lummie is incompetent. Who is incompetent? All these people who were mean to him? Or Lummie? Now they want to kill him. If a little boy swiped a cookie, I suppose they’d chop his head off, just to be sure he wouldn’t do it again. Is somebody crazy? What kind of a farce is this?”
She stopped, tears running down her cheeks. It was a talent which had been useful in school dramatics; to her own surprise she found that these tears were real.
“Are you through?” asked Greenberg.
“I guess so. For now, anyway?”
“I must say that you put it very movingly. But a court should not be swayed by emotion. Is it your theory that the major portion of the damage…let us say everything but the rose bushes and the cabbages…arose from improper acts of human beings and therefore cannot be charged to Lummox or his owner?”
“Figure it yourself, your honor. The tail generally follows the dog. Why not ask Lummie how it looked to him?”
“We’ll get to that. On another issue: I cannot grant that your analogy is valid. We are dealing here, not with a little boy, but with an animal. If this court should order the destruction of this animal, it would not be in spirit of vengeance nor of punishment, for an animal is presumed not to understand such values. The purpose would be preventive, in order that a potential danger might not be allowed to develop into damage to life or limb or property. Your little boy can be restrained by the arms of his nurse…but we are dealing with a creature weighing several tons, capable of crushing a man with a careless step. There is no parallel in your cookie-stealing small boy.”
“There isn’t, huh? That little boy can grow up and wipe out a whole city by pushing one teeny little button. So off with his head before he grows up. Don’t ask him why he took the cookie, don’t ask him anything! He’s a bad boy—chop his head off and save trouble.”
Greenberg found himself again biting his lip. He said, “It is your wish that we examine Lummox?”
“I said so, didn’t I?”
“I’m not sure what you said. The court will consider it.”
Mr. Lombard said quickly, “Objection, your honor. If this extraordinary…”
“Hold your objection, please. Court will recess for ten minutes. All will remain.” Greenberg got up and walked away. He took out a cigarette, found again that he had no light, stuck the pack back in his pocket.
Blast the girl! He had had it figured how to dispose of this case smoothly, with credit to the department and everybody satisfied…except the Stuart boy, but that could not be helped…the boy and this precocious preposterous young mammal who had him under her wing. And under her thumb, too, he added.
He could not allow this unique specimen to be destroyed. But he had meant to do it suavely…deny the petition of that old battle-axe, since it was obviously from malice, and tell the police chief privately to forget the other one. The Save-the-World-for-the-Neanderthals petition didn’t matter. But this cocky girl, by talking when she should have listened, was going to make it appear that a departmental court could be pushed into risking public welfare over a lot of sentimental, anthropomorphic bosh!
Confound her pretty blue eyes!
They would accuse him of
being influenced by those pretty blue eyes, too. Too bad the child wasn’t homely.
The animal’s owner was responsible for the damage; there were a thousand “strayed animal” cases to justify a ruling—since this was not the planet Tencora. That stuff about it being the fault of the persons who frightened him off was a lot of prattle. But the e.-t., as a specimen for science, was worth far more than the damage; the decision would not hurt the boy financially.
He realized that he had allowed himself to fall into a most unjudicial frame of mind. The defendant’s ability to pay was not his business.
“Excuse me, your honor. Please don’t monkey with those things.”
He looked up, ready to snap somebody’s head off, to find himself looking at the clerk of the court. He then saw that he had been fiddling with the switches and controls of the clerk’s console. He snatched his hands away. “Sorry.”
“A person who doesn’t understand these things,” the clerk said apologetically, “can cause an awful lot of trouble.”
“True. Unfortunately true.” He turned away sharply. “The court will come to order.”
He sat down and turned at once to Miss Sorenson. “The court rules that Lummox is not a competent witness.”
Betty gasped. “Your honor, you are being most unfair!”
“Possibly.”
She thought for a moment. “We want a change of venue.”
“Where did you learn that word? Never mind, you had one when the department intervened. That ends it. Now keep quiet for a change.”
She turned red. “You ought to disqualify yourself!”
Greenberg had intended to be calm, positively Olympian, in his manner. He now found it necessary to take three slow breaths. “Young lady,” he said carefully, “you have been trying to confuse the issue all day. There is no need for you to speak now; you have said too much already. Understand me?”
“I have not, I will too, and I didn’t either!”
“What? Repeat that, please?”
She looked at him. “No, I had better take it back…or you will be talking about ‘contempt’.”
“No, no. I wanted to memorize it. I don’t think I have ever heard quite so sweeping a statement. Never mind. Just hold your tongue. If you know how. You’ll be allowed to talk later.”
“Yes, sir.”
He turned to the others. “The court announced earlier that there would be due notice if we were to continue to terminer. The court sees no reason not to. Objection?”
The attorneys shifted uncomfortably and looked at each other. Greenberg turned to Betty. “How about you?”
“Me? I thought I wasn’t allowed to vote.”
“Shall we conclude these issues today?”
She glanced at John Thomas, then said dully, “No objection,” then leaned to him and whispered, “Oh, Johnnie, I tried!”
He patted her hand under the table. “I know you did, Slugger.”
Greenberg pretended not to hear. He went on in a cold, official voice. “This court has before it a petition asking for the destruction of the extra-terrestrial Lummox on the grounds that it is dangerous and uncontrollable. The facts have not sustained that view; the petition is denied.?”
Betty gasped and squealed. John Thomas looked startled, then grinned for the first time. “Order, please,” Greenberg said mildly. “We have here another petition to the same end, but for different reasons.” He held up the one submitted. by the Keep Earth Human League. “This court finds itself unable to follow the alleged reasoning. Petition denied.”
“We have four criminal charges, I am dismissing all four. The law requires…”
The city attorney looked startled. “But, your honor—”
“If you have a point, will you save it? No criminal intent can be found here, which therefore would make it appear that there could be no crime. However, constructive intent may appear where the law requires a man to exercise due prudence to protect others and it is on this ground that these issues must be judged. Prudence is based on experience, personal or vicarious, not on impossible prescience. In the judgment of this court, the precautions taken were prudent in the light of experience…experience up to last Monday afternoon, that is to say.” He turned and addressed John Thomas. “What I mean, young man, is this: your precautions were ‘prudent’ so far as you knew. Now you know better. If that beast gets loose again, it will go hard with you.”
Johnnie swallowed. “Yessir.”
“We have remaining the civil matters of damage, Here the criteria are different. The guardian of a minor, or the owner of an animal, is responsible for damage committed by that child or that animal, the law holding that it is better that the owner or guardian suffer than the innocent third party. Except for one point, which I will reserve for the moment, these civil actions fall under that rule. First, let me note that one or more of these issues ask for real, punitive, and exemplary damages. Punitive and exemplary damages are denied; there are no grounds. I believe that we have arrived at real damages in each case and counsels have so stipulated. As to costs, the Department of Spatial Affairs has intervened in the public interest; costs will be borne by the department.”
Betty whispered, “A good thing we homesteaded him. Look at those insurance vultures grin.”
Greenberg went on, “I reserved one point. The question has been raised indirectly that this Lummox may not be an animal…and therefore not a chattel…but may be a sentient being within the meaning of ‘the Customs of Civilizations’…and therefore his own master.” Greenberg hesitated. He was about to add his bit to the “Customs of Civilizations”; he was anxious not to be overruled. “We have long disavowed slavery; no sentient being may be owned. But if Lummox is sentient, what have we? May Lummox be held personally responsible? It would not appear that he has sufficient knowledge of our customs, nor does it appear that he is among us by his own choice. Are the putative owners in fact his guardians and in that way responsible? All these questions turn on this: is Lummox a chattel, or a free being?
“This court expressed its opinion when it ruled that Lummox might not testify…at this time. But this court is not equipped to render a final decision, no matter how strongly it may believe that Lummox is an animal.
“The court will therefore start proceedings on its own motion to determine the status of Lummox. In the meantime the local authorities will take charge of Lummox and will be held responsible both for his safety and for public safety with respect to him.” Greenberg shut up and sat back.
A fly would have had his choice of open mouths. First to recover was the attorney for Western Mutual, Mr. Schneider. “Your honor? Where does that leave us?”
“I don’t know.”
“But…see here, your honor, let’s face the facts. Mrs. Stuart hasn’t any property or funds that can be attached; she’s the beneficiary of a trust. Same for the boy. We expected to levy against the beast itself; he will bring a good price in the proper market. Now you have, if you will permit me, upset the apple cart. If one of those scientific…hrrumph!…persons starts a long series of tests, years long perhaps, or throws doubt on the beast’s status as a chattel…well, where should we look for relief? Should we sue the city?”
Lombard was on his feet instantly. “Now, look here, you can’t sue the city! The city is one of the damaged parties. On that theory…”
“Order,” Greenberg said sternly. “None of those questions can be answered now. All civil actions will be continued until the status of Lummox is clarified.” He looked at the ceiling. “There is another possibility. It would seem that this creature came to Earth in the Trail Blazer. If my memory of history serves, all specimens brought back by that ship were government property. If Lummox is a chattel, he may nevertheless not be private property. In that event, the source of relief may be a matter of more involved litigation.”
Mr. Schneider looked stunned, Mr. Lombard looked angry, John Thomas looked confused and whispered to Betty, “What’s he trying to say? Lummox belongs
to me.”
“Ssh…” Betty whispered. “I told you we would get out of it. Oh, Mr. Greenberg is a honey lamb!”
“But…”
“Hush up! We’re ahead.”
Mr. Ito’s son had kept quiet except when testifying. Now he stood up. “Your honor?”
“Yes, Mr. Ito?”
“I don’t understand any of this. I’m just a farmer. But I do want to know one thing. Who’s going to pay for my father’s greenhouses?”
John Thomas got to his feet. “I am,” he said simply.
Betty tugged at his sleeve. “Sit down, you idiot!”
“You hush up, Betty. You’ve talked enough.” Betty hushed up. “Mr. Greenberg, everybody else has been talking. Can I say something?”
“Go ahead.”
“I’ve listened to a lot of stuff all day. People trying to make out that Lummox is dangerous, when he’s not People trying to have him killed, just for spite, yes, I mean you, Mrs. Donahue!”
“Address the court, please,” Greenberg said quietly.
“I’ve heard you say a lot of things, too. I didn’t follow all of them but, if you will pardon me, sir, some of them struck me as pretty silly. Excuse me.”
“No contempt intended, I’m sure.”
“Well…take this about whether Lummox is or isn’t a chattel. Or whether he’s bright enough to vote. Lummox is pretty bright, I guess nobody but me knows just how bright. But he’s never had any education and he’s never been anywhere. But that hasn’t anything to do with who he belongs to. He belongs to me. Just the way I belong to him…we grew up together. Now I know I’m responsible for that damage last Monday…will you keep quiet, Betty! I can’t pay for it now, but I’ll pay for it. I…”
“Just a moment, young man. The court will not permit you to admit liability without counsel. If that is your intention, court will appoint counsel.”
“You said I could have my say.”
“Continue. Noted for the record that this is not binding.”
“Sure, it’s binding, because I’m going to do it. Pretty soon my education trust comes due and it would about cover it. I guess I can…”
The Star Beast Page 7
