I laughed. “You’re going to be a wonderful doctor. I can see patients lining up for miles to see you. Majority females, of course, and most perfectly healthy.”
“Miss Sanders, are you implying my patients would be dishonest?”
“Once the word gets out you’re a doctor, yes. I have a feeling there will be many healthy ladies feeling the need for medical treatment.”
He laughed with me, and I looked down. Night had settled in completely, and I needed to go. “I’m heading home. Thanks for telling me, for trusting me with this.”
“Thanks for telling me what you knew. I don’t feel so much like a freak now.”
“You’re not a freak.”
He walked with me along the wide path that ran through the park, back in the direction of my duplex. His hands were still in his pockets; my arms were crossed over my stomach. I had planned to walk home alone, but I couldn’t think of a way to ditch him. Not after that confession.
“I was so afraid to tell him,” Jack mused. “He’s always made such a big deal about how I would finish school and come back to work with him.”
“Maybe your dad wanted you to feel like you had a place?”
“It didn’t feel that way. It felt like an order. That was what I was going to do. Work with him, work with Will, sit in that box and stare at building plans all day. I was completely trapped, and I didn’t see any way out of it.”
We were on Oak Street, passing neighborhood businesses and restaurants or bars with music filling the background.
“Most people would look at you and think you had everything you ever wanted.”
“Trapped in that house?”
“You’re not trapped.” We’d finally reached my place. “And I predict you’ll be happily surprised by your dad’s response to your change of plans.”
His brow relaxed and he stepped forward to pull me into a grateful hug. My body was tense, but I patted him back, taking a deep breath of his soapy-citrus smell. He was the former boy of my dreams, now making the transition into a man.
“Thank you.” He whispered into my hair.
I stepped back, putting several feet between us. “You’re welcome.” Then I smiled. “Goodnight.”
Anna’s Private Blog: Opportunity of a Lifetime
My head was a whirlwind of different thoughts as I stripped out of my workout clothes and hopped in the shower.
Jack wanted to be a doctor. He was just like Dr. Weaver—Ms. LaSalle had said it to Mr. Kyser last year as we waited through the night after Julian’s accident. She predicted it then, and Mr. Kyser had dismissed her correlation out of hand.
Back then, if anyone had suggested Jack might do anything but follow in his oldest brother’s footsteps, in his father’s footsteps, into the family business, Mr. Kyser would have squashed that notion. Julian had changed all of that.
Julian’s sudden, unexpected fascination with his father’s work had given Mr. Kyser the heir he wanted and had taken Jack off a career path that had never made him happy.
It all made sense—every bit of it. Why he’d acted so strangely toward me, why he’d slowly spiraled into self-destructive behavior year after year he spent in college pursuing a life that would make him miserable.
The creation of Julian might have hurt his siblings in the beginning, but now, it was helping them. He was making life better, for Jack at least.
I wanted to grab my laptop and tell Julian all of these things, but the minute I stepped out of my room dressed, Rachel cut me off. She was working on a mock debate for one of her prelaw classes, and she begged me to be her test jury—just for an hour or two. I glanced at the clock. It would still be early enough to tell Julian everything tonight, after I helped her, so I agreed.
As she paced the floor back and forth in our living room, spelling out the facts of her case, I realized the facts of my own case. My epiphany was courtesy the three journals Mr. Kyser had entrusted me with two Christmases ago. I’d promised him then I wouldn’t tell anyone what they contained, and if I started connecting all the dots now, I’d have to break that promise.
“Anna!” Rachel stopped pacing and was now facing me with both hands on her hips. “You’re not listening. I need your help!”
“Sorry,” I said, shaking my head. I’d sort out how much I didn’t care anymore about the ridiculous promises Julian’s parents had used to control me later. “Please continue. I’m all ears.”
“And curls.” She giggled and then cleared her throat. Her voice turned immediately back to professional, firm. “As I was saying…”
Rachel continued working out the kinks in her debate, while I made a dinner of turkey sandwich and funyuns. I’d just flopped down on the couch again when my phone buzzed with a text from Julian.
Where are you?
I smiled, instantly seeing his sweet face. On the couch. Listening to Rachel pontificating.
Pontificating. College Anna uses v big words.
College Anna is v smart, haven’t you heard?
That’s the rumor.
“Anna! Stop texting with Julian.” Rachel’s hands were back on her hips.
College Rachel is also v bossy. Thinks I know about legal issues.
Should be illegal.
What are the legalities of being forced to listen against my will?
What are the legalities of keeping secrets?
That made my forehead crease. I knew he wasn’t still angry about the kiss… what could he be talking about?
Statute of Limitations might apply.
Not in this case. The crime has just been committed.
Maybe he was talking about something else? His parents? Counsel needs more information to make an educated decision.
“Seriously, Anna.”
Have to go. College Rachel v demanda. Love you!
More soon.
I couldn’t help a little frown at his strange line of texting and lack of love or kisses at signoff, but Rachel insisted. I temporarily forgot about Julian’s mood and the time as I attempted to give her feedback.
Rachel and I worked until after midnight, and my short texting session with Julian had distracted me from my need to call him. I would do it immediately after class, even though I was completely groggy. Still, my physical exhaustion didn’t stop Summer.
“Hey, Anna. You look tired. Hot Thursday-night party?” She sat in the chair next to mine, fiddling with her camera.
For half a second I almost ignored her altogether, but I didn’t. “Rachel had a debate today. I helped her prep.” As if it’s any of your business, I added in my head.
She clearly missed my tone. “Have you ever looked at the houses around campus?”
My brow creased at her random question. “A little. Why?”
“There’s this enormous mansion on St. Charles near Audubon Park. One of them looks like Charlotte’s house in The Princess and the Frog, don’t you think?”
“The white one?” I really wasn’t interested in chatting Disney princess films. “I hadn’t thought of it, but they could’ve used it as the model.”
“I was walking around sight-seeing, and then I went into the park. Talk about photo ops! Have you been there? I need to go back with my camera.”
Glad for once she was giving me the heads up. “I’ve walked through it a few times. You should check out the Tree of Life, and the Labyrinth they built after Hurricane Katrina.”
“I will!” She was so excited, but I was sad that my magical little refuge was no longer private.
Oh, well, I sighed internally, it’s not like it ever really was. Dr. Arati entered the room and called me to her desk. I wandered up, my mind distracted by Summer tromping through all my formerly sacred spaces with her stupid camera.
“I’m very pleased with your work on the Algiers project. Your location shots show a real eye for framing. If your writing wasn’t so strong, I’d suggest switching focus.”
Her praise was always so specific, I was almost embarrassed. “Thank you. I guess it�
��s because of my boyfriend.”
“Ah, yes. The one who met you in the hall.” She nodded. I was about to correct her, but she continued speaking. “I’m afraid you have some bad news for him. Unless he’s an English major. They do have a Shakespeare program abroad…”
It took me a second to realize what she was saying. Then my breath disappeared in a whoosh. “Did I get a—”
“Accepted for JYA? As a matter of fact, you did. My friend Liam is eager to welcome his new intern at the BBC World News.”
My mouth dropped open, and I experienced the strangest twist of emotions. I wanted to jump up and down and scream, and at the same time, I wanted to drop to my knees, crawl under the desk, and cry.
“Well, don’t stand there gaping,” my professor laughed. “Say something!”
My chest was so tight. “I can’t breathe…”
Her black eyes danced. “Are you hyperventilating? Shall I send one of the boys to fetch a bag?”
“Dr. Arati… I-I don’t know what to say!”
“Say you’re headed to London! Say you’re on your way to joining one of the top teams in the news radio circuit.”
Summer ran up behind me then and started talking way too loud. “Anna!!! Oh my god, Anna! You got it! You’re going to London?!”
My knees were weak, and I needed to sit down. More than that, I needed to get out of here and go back to the duplex and sit in my room for a bit. I didn’t like being shocked with enormous, life-changing opportunities in front of everyone. It was like last year when I got the scholarship to come to this school.
I needed a minute. I needed to catch my breath and think about what my professor was saying. I was happy, of course I was happy, but I also felt like as soon as I got comfortable, got my feet under me, something new and huge swept in like a tsunami and changed everything.
I needed to swim to the side, get out of this rip tide of emotions, calm down and think about everything. “Would it be okay if I just go home? I-I just need to think—”
“Of course.” Dr. Arati’s lips pressed into a proud smile. “Take a break and consider this wonderful news. We can talk about it when you’re ready.”
“Thank you.” I nodded, going to the door. “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t apologize. It’s an exciting thing—and I’m sure a little overwhelming. Take your time.”
I nodded and headed out the door, down the quiet hall, and out into the hot, sticky air. It was uncomfortable, and the sun was too bright. I hurried home and went straight to my bedroom, closing the door and dropping my book bag on the floor. Then I went around the bed to the other side facing the wall and sat all the way at the head, leaning against the wainscoting, knees bent, pressing my face against my hands.
Deep breaths, in and out…
I’d done it.
I’d gotten another huge opportunity that would drag me across the ocean as far as I could possibly get from Julian.
My chest squeezed and my throat ached, but I didn’t cry. I only sat, every muscle tense, trying to think of what a great opportunity this was. An opportunity of a lifetime. I tried to remember what Julian kept saying, the separation was only for a little while. We would do our thing, lay the groundwork on our futures, and then we’d start our life together. Only, why did the groundwork keep taking us farther apart?
Still, our love was solid, and that wasn’t changing. We were growing up, but it didn’t mean growing apart. Right?
I wanted to go to Savannah, but I couldn’t drive like this. I wanted his arms around me, but like always, he was so far away. So I sat in the growing darkness.
I didn’t want to move, speak, or even leave this quiet room.
So I didn’t.
Anna’s Private Blog: Coming Undone
I realized I’d fallen asleep when my buzzing phone woke me. Lifting a heavy arm to grab it off my nightstand, I saw five missed texts from Julian. They all asked where I was, and the final one said, Can you Skype?
I quickly texted back Yes! and pushed myself up.
My laptop was in my bookbag, so I pulled it out and quickly booted it up. It was buzzing as soon as the screen lit up. I clicked on the icon, and there he was, eighteen inches across, blue eyes blinking at me. Tears finally sprang to my eyes.
“Where have you been? I’ve been texting all afternoon.” His expression was concerned, and I swallowed the thickness in my throat.
“Sorry. I fell asleep when I got in. Rachel kept me up pretty late last night.”
His lips twitched, and his eyes seemed to travel around my face. “Is that all?”
“Yeah, I didn’t even hear my phone, that’s all. I’m sorry.”
“What are you doing this weekend?”
I took a quick look at his background. The last time he’d asked me that, he’d shown up at my door, and the longing for a repeat of that scenario hit me so hard, my stomach hurt. But he was in his room in Savannah, and I let out a sigh.
“I don’t know. Missing you, hanging out.” I looked down at my hands and thought about what I’d just learned. I knew what he’d say if I told him—he’d be excited and tell me to go for it. He’d be my best cheerleader, sending me as far away as I could possibly get. I wasn’t sure I could handle that from him right now.
The silence caused me to look up at the screen, I hadn’t realized neither of us was speaking. His serious expression caught me off-guard.
“Is something wrong?” I sat up a little straighter.
“I never expected to feel this distance between us.”
My stomach sank. “Do you feel distance? I-I don’t. I mean, I feel that you’re away from me, and like right now I want to see you so much. But I wouldn’t say that was distance between us. At least not figurative distance. It’s only physical—”
Yes, I was rambling.
“I feel figurative distance.”
“Julian…” My voice cracked. I’d just gotten into JYA, and already it was falling apart. “What’s wrong? Please tell me.”
“I don’t know what’s going on with you.” He exhaled, looking down. “You don’t tell me things like you used to. You make promises, and you don’t keep them.”
My phone buzzed in my lap, but my eyes were glued to his on the screen. “I tell you everything. I promise—”
“Now it’s like you’re not even listening to me.”
My phone buzzed in my lap again. I still didn’t look at it. “What do you want to know? I’ll tell you anything!”
My phone buzzed again.
“What do you need to tell me?”
“Julian!” Again my phone buzzed. “Dammit! Somebody keeps texting me.”
I picked it up, and the face was covered in messages from Rachel.
Anna, where are you?
Need ur help!
Anna pls answer.
911! 911!
“Oh my god, hang on!” I held the phone in front of the camera so he could see. “It’s Rachel, something’s wrong.”
I quickly texted her back, and her reply was instantaneous.
Please come to Brad’s! He’s hurt. I need help!
“Julian, I’ve got to call you back. I don’t know what this is about.” I started to rise, and while he was partly understanding, he was also still angry. “I’ll call you as soon as I help Rachel. Is that okay?”
He exhaled and nodded. “Sure. Of course. I hope it’s nothing serious.”
“I love you?” My eyes were wide as I studied his on the screen.
“Are you asking me?”
“No. I mean… I don’t know. You still love me, don’t you?”
His eyes rolled and he shook his head. “How can you even say that?”
My heart was thudding in my chest, but I couldn’t make Rachel wait any longer. “Please just hang on. I’ll be right there.” I stood, but then I paused. “And it’s not a question. I love you.”
He only nodded, but I took off, grabbing my bag off the counter before heading out to my car.
* *
*
Brad’s apartment was close to ours, but not close enough to walk. By the time I’d found street parking, it was closing in on fifteen minutes since Rachel had called, and she was panicked.
“Anna, oh my good. What took so long?!” She grabbed my hand and dragged me up the steps.
“I was talking to Julian… something’s wrong, and then I couldn’t find a place to park.” She kept going through the house, headed to the bathroom. “What are you doing? What happened?”
“He fell.” She stopped in front of the door. “He was in the shower, and he fell. He lost consciousness for a second, but he’s awake now. I just can’t get him to the car and to the ER by myself. He’s not walking too good.”
“Rachel! Holy—why didn’t you call the real 911?” She opened the door and I followed behind her then stopped short. Brad only had a towel around his waist. “Is he naked?”
“Focus, Anna! I need you to help me!” She bent down to put one of his arms around her neck.
“Glad to help, but it’s going to be crazy-awkward if that towel comes off. We need to belt it or something.”
“We don’t have time!” She was still trying to get him up, coaxing quietly near his ear. “Can you stand now? Anna and I can get you to the car if you can help us.”
“Hang on!” I took off toward his bedroom and threw his closet open, flipping quickly through pants, shirts, until I found a hanger of leather belts. Skipping those, I grabbed a canvass one. “Here! I ran back—we can just tie this around him on top of the towel.”
Brad had managed to stand, but one hand was on the sink. I leaned forward, then stopped. “This feels a little too close for me.”
“Oh, good grief.” She grabbed the belt out of my hands and slipped it around his waist, cinching it quickly. “Good thing you’re not going into medicine. Grab his other arm.”
Lifting Brad’s arm across my shoulder, we all turned sideways to go out the narrow door. “Why didn’t you call one of his football buddies?” I grunted. “Those guys could throw him over one shoulder and carry him out.”
Mosaic (Dragonfly #4) Page 18
