Jude let out sigh and I followed him out to his car, wincing as the cold wind picked up speed and flyway strands of my hair whipped into my face. We bundled inside quickly and when I chose to sit in the backseat, he turned to cast me a puzzled glance.
"Um...you can sit in the front, you know," he said to me while fastening his seatbelt.
I rubbed my cold hands together and replied, "I can't. Watching the road gives me anxiety." And being that close to you makes me want to throw caution to the wind.
He paused and considered that for a while and when he seemed satisfied with my answer, turned and started the car.
As we drove past groves of trees and night began to descend upon us, I looked my fill at him while resting my forehead on the back of the passenger seat. I could watch this man do nothing for hours and never get bored. And while watching, I observed so many things which wouldn't be that obvious to just anyone.
"You're nervous," I said slowly when he fiddled with his tie for the hundredth time and his gaze was surprised when it met mine in the rearview mirror.
"You like pleasing people, don't you, Mr. Knight?" I teased him a little. "Your public image and relations are very important to you."
He smiled a little as he continued driving towards the city. "You make it sound like a bad thing," he murmured in a relaxed tone which didn’t fool me.
I let my eyes drift over his frame as the atmosphere in the car shifted. Grew more intimate and cozy. We weren't boss and assistant anymore during this drive. He was just a guy giving me a ride home. A really intelligent, talented and hot guy. If this was a date, I'd be inviting him over for coffee.
"We're almost there," Jude said, his fingers hovering over the GPS system in his car. "I'm sorry, I forgot to punch in your address. Is it before or after the Philip's church?"
I froze, remembering that I didn't have an address for now. I lived in a freaking motel. But he couldn't know that.
"Um...it's actually before but the street's a little out of your way," I said quickly. "Just drop me off at the next...Starbucks. I'm gonna grab some coffee before heading on home."
"Are you sure?" he asked with a frown. "I don't mind. I still have time."
I nodded. "I'm sure. Please. You really don't have to. You should probably use the time to practise your speech."
Jude widened his eyes a little, looked to the side and cursed again. "Damn it," he bit out. "I was supposed to write one, wasn't I?"
I stared at him for a few seconds and then burst out laughing. I couldn't stop laughing. How could he be so absent-minded and yet possess one of the most gifted minds on the planet? The contrast between man and author was so refreshing and amusing. Also, I think I was crushing on him even more after learning about his quirks.
The car had slowed and he was peering at me in the mirror as I continued to giggle.
"I'm so sorry," I said between laughs and removed my glasses to dab at my eyes. "I just...you're just really funny someti- Jude, look out!"
The car swerved at the last minute and a loud horn sounded when the coupe coming from the opposite side whooshed past us by inches, its driver swearing angrily because Jude had drifted on to the other lane by a few feet while looking at me. We would have gotten into an accident if I hadn't yelled at him.
Appearing shaken by the close call, he pulled over and unfastened his seat belt before turning towards me.
"Riley," he breathed out as my heart pumped wildly. "Are you all right? I am so sorry about that."
I blew out a breath and put my glasses back on before nodding at him.
"Yeah. It's okay, Mr. Knight. Mistakes happen."
He rubbed a hand across his face and ran his eyes over me as if to make sure I really was all right before he turned back around.
"Fuck, I'm really sorry," he mumbled. "I bet you're never getting into a car with me again."
Despite feeling a little shaken, I smiled at his profile. I'd follow you to the ends of the earth if you'd let me. I frowned to myself then. Well. Even if you don't let me, I'll still follow you.
Jude was looking at me again for confirmation so I stopped smiling and cleared my throat.
"Please don't worry. I'll definitely get into a car with you if you offered to drive me somewhere. And also, your reaction was pretty quick, you know. You actually saved us both."
His eyes lightened with amusement before he started the car back up again.
"I think God became angry with me because I didn't bother to write my speech," he mused as we began moving.
"Yeah but then he decided to let it go because at least you read the Bible," I quipped.
Our eyes met in the mirror once more, briefly, and we shared a moment of hilarity before falling into a comfortable silence for the rest of the drive.
I was a fool because I didn't go to the motel after he dropped me off. I went to get my coffee and then took a cab to St. Philips church. There were almost two hundred people congregated there and I stood at the back, right near the huge front doors and watched him give one of the most moving speeches about faith and the flawed aspect of human nature I had ever heard.
It made me grin a little. He was so sweetly contrasting in a lot of ways. He didn't falter or make any blunders during that speech and the people gathered there sucked it all up with enraptured faces. He was confident, full of knowledge and treated the whole meeting with respect and seriousness. No sign of the absent-minded writer he had been just an hour ago. And to think that he'd been so irritated with the idea of not being prepared for this evening… Jude went up there and owned that podium.
After several minutes, I grew sad though. Who was I even kidding? Wanting this man and actually being able to be with him were scenarios that were worlds apart. I was a criminal, a teenage girl, an imposter who wasn't quite right in the head. I was no one.
And he was this famed public figure who had something valuable to offer the world, who had accomplished so much before reaching his thirties, a contributing member of society, a good citizen and esteemed novelist. He was way out of my league.
I didn't even want to get into the whole looks thing because my body image issues were a mile-long and this guy could grace the cover of a GQ magazine. And girls like Ella and Jennifer were the ones who'd complement him.
Sighing, I dumped my coffee cup in the trash can outside before taking a cab back to my lonely, seedy motel room.
Chapter 8
Jude
"Why...why wouldn't you talk to me?" I muttered in frustration and straightened to throw my head back against the chair only to find Riley standing in my office doorway watching me.
We regarded each other solemnly for a minute and then she moved, going over to the desk she usually occupied and putting her bag there. The idea of giving her a separate office hadn’t seemed so important when she had come to work for me. I let my eyes linger on her for a few seconds, taking in her side braid and fitted blouse with a skirt that hugged her thighs, and then moved them back to my laptop screen.
Focus, Knight.
"What happened to you yesterday?" I asked her after a while as Riley booted up her laptop and sat down. My email was synced to her computer now and she dealt with all of it there instead of using the laptop I had reserved for dealing with administration issues.
She hadn't showed up for work the day after we had that almost-accident and I couldn't help but think it had something to do with me.
"I was sick," she replied, which was what she'd emailed me yesterday but who got sick and then recovered within a day?
Well, some people did but I didn't believe Riley.
"It was because of me, wasn't it?" I prompted. "I gave you a scare with the near miss on the road the other night."
Riley looked up from her screen and cocked her head to the side before asking, "Do I look like someone who scares that easily, Mr. Knight?"
Not at all. She looked...
My eyes went to her lips and I realized she was wearing a different shade of lipstick than
usual today. It was...darker.
Why was I noticing that about her?
"This isn't cool," I murmured to myself and typed out the sentence I had just spoken to assert the mantra. Wow. Genius.
"Who's giving you trouble today?" she questioned intuitively as I glared at the laptop screen.
I sighed. "My protagonist. He's being particularly stubborn right now."
She grinned and shot me a challenging look. "Well, maybe you need to change the protagonist. Trade him out for someone who does want to talk to you."
I shook my head at that. "You keep saying that. It doesn't work like that, Riley," I said absently and backspaced like a maniac.
"Mr. Knight-"
"Jude," I said and she blinked at me.
"What?"
I leaned back in my chair. "Yesterday, when we had that close call, you called me Jude."
She appeared flustered and tucked a stray strand of hair behind her ear.
"Oh um...I didn't realize-"
"I like it when you call me Mr. Knight," I told her. "But...I think I like 'Jude' more."
Riley stared at me and I studied her as she bit on her lower lip and nodded slowly. "If you insist," was her reply.
I couldn't look away from her. She was a plethora of mysteries and was starting to seem much more interesting than the book I was not writing.
"Your speech was awesome by the way," she blurted out, sounding nervous.
I frowned at her, puzzled. "What speech?"
"At St. Philips," she answered and then paused as I gave her a confused look. How did she know what my speech had been like?
"Someone uploaded it on a Christian book channel on YouTube and it went viral," she informed me and I laughed.
"It did? Well, that's unfortunate. I didn't even know what I was saying half the time."
I refreshed my screen and looked out the window, trying to think of something to write.
"Don't do that," Riley spoke softly after a moment. "Don't sell yourself short like that. You're very gifted with words. I know you're doubting yourself right now but they'll come to you eventually."
I swallowed at the conviction in her tone. I knew what she said was true. My words would never simply desert me. I just needed to find the right ones. Find some inspiration.
Maybe you need a new muse.
The Twitter message came to mind all of a sudden and I glanced at my phone.
Then everything seemed to stop for a second.
I was hit with a revelation that I was all too familiar with and it made me push back my chair and stand up abruptly as a wild energy coursed through my body, making me want to laugh.
"Fuck. Me," I whispered into the silence and Riley gave me a guarded look.
I grinned at her then. "You're an amazing assistant you know that? I just...God, I just..." I peered at my phone again and then at the laptop screen before glancing back at her. "I need to be alone for at least an hour," I told her quickly. "Please. Could you go work in the living room until I call you?"
She shrugged and got up, gathering her things. "Sure, boss. Whatever you need."
I was bursting at the seams with excitement and exhilaration. When she left, I sat down again and closed the pathetic word document I was working on to open up a fresh, new one.
"Girl obsessed," I muttered, typing out the two-word prompt and making it bold with a large font. For several seconds, I sat and looked at that phrase with extreme satisfaction.
And then my fingers began to fly over the keyboard, unrestrained, uninhibited for the first time in weeks.
Chapter 9
Wynter
I’d never been inside his room before. It was huge. It took up half of the entire top floor and had so many windows. Light and airy with white walls and pale blue curtains. it had this ethereal sort of ambience and I loved it. It suited him.
Jude had locked himself in his office and whenever he did that, there was no bringing him out until he had finished having one of his binge-writing episodes. They had become less common lately but the way he had been just now, I knew it was going to be a good couple of hours before he even remembered this world.
I smiled to myself as I explored but those smiles quickly turned into frowns whenever I encountered any of Jennifer’s things. Random stuff like a hair brush, a ladies’ watch, cosmetics. I wanted to collect all of it and throw them in the dumpster because it felt like a contamination. Ugh. When was he going to realize that this woman did not love him? Sometimes, it was like she didn’t even see him. She just seemed to enjoy the idea of dating someone as successful as him.
I walked towards the bed and ran my hands over the satin sheets, imagining myself slipping in between them. With him. In a world where Jennifer was out of the picture. I smirked as I imagined it. Jude with his hands and mouth on me, devouring me, making me submit to him. Or me doing the same to him. I turned away as a rush of warmth swept through me and went over to his closet.
An array of shirts, jeans and suits hung in there and I fingered them, inhaling that clean scent of his.
“Jude.” Longing erupted inside me, a need to be with him, to own him and make him mine almost bringing tears of frustration to my eyes. “Why can’t I have you? Why won’t you want me?”
I nuzzled my cheek against the sleeve of a soft, cotton shirt before reluctantly letting it go. Feeling irritated and anxious as I looked around the room again, I picked up the photo of him and his girlfriend from on top of the dresser and stashed it in the trash can in their bathroom and then looked through the cabinet for some empty bottles to toss them in as well so that they covered the photo.
Finally, I smiled at the result before stalking out of the room.
Jude came out of his office almost two hours later as I sat answering emails on the couch and he seemed to be suppressing his excitement. His cheeks were flushed, his eyes alight and he was smiling like a mad genius.
“Word count?” I asked him with a raised eyebrow.
His grin grew wider and he replied, “Three thousand and seventy-two.”
I whistled at the number, feeling genuinely happy for him. It had been almost painful watching him search for inspiration these past several days.
“That’s really good to hear.” I gazed at his back adoringly as he walked into the kitchen and poured himself some coffee.
I should probably be doing that for him since I was the assistant and all but he never expected me to. My work consisted of organizing and handling his calls, emails and appointments. There hadn’t been any glitches so far and the smooth running of things provided me with relief. YouTube tutorial videos and Google could teach a person quite a lot.
“Hey, Riley,” Jude said from the kitchen as he went about the task of cutting up some vegetables on the counter. “Have you ever had a stalker?”
I swear my heart almost leapt out of my throat at that random question of his. Or was it random? Was he finally on to me? Had I somehow slipped up and given myself away? Oh my God. I had never considered the possibility that he might have some hidden cameras installed in the house. Shit.
“Err…no. But that sounds really disturbing,” I answered carefully, watching him.
He took some bread out of a container and began to lay the tomatoes and lettuce he had cut up on the slices.
“I know but…it’s also kind of fascinating, right?” he said to my surprise. “The idea that someone could be so obsessed with you that you’re all they think about, all they want. And they would do anything, take any risk just to be able to get a glimpse of you. A taste of you.”
He actually sounded thrilled as he talked about it and his excitement was doing strange things to me. I could give him a few pointers regarding stalking. God, he thought the idea of someone being obsessed with him was fascinating? I stared at him and he looked up when he realized I wasn’t responding.
Jude then gave me a wry smile. “I sound creepy, don’t I?” he questioned, putting the sandwiches on two plates and then bringing them over
to me. He placed one of those on the low table next to my laptop before biting into the sandwich he had made for himself.
“I’m just so excited about this. And you sort of gave me the push I needed, you know, to switch to a different project. I’ve never just dumped a story I started until I typed ‘the end’ on it but this time, I think I made the right decision.”
I watched as he ate his sandwich and didn’t comment for a while. I was still trying to process his mindset towards stalkers and also trying not to act like it was a big deal that he had actually made me lunch.
“Are you a vegetarian?” he asked me suddenly, stopping mid-bite. “I don’t-“
“Eat meat, I know,” I finished for him and picked up my vegetarian sandwich. I also knew he donated to a bunch of charity organizations dedicated to protecting animals which I thought was pretty awesome.
“I think Jennifer has some bacon or eggs in there,” he told me, indicating the refrigerator with his thumb.
I’m not interested in using any of your girlfriend’s things. “It’s okay, Jude,” I said and bit into the sandwich. “This is tasty. So are you going to need me to stay out of the office for the rest of the day too?”
He put his plate aside and smiled at me. “I think so. I’m on a roll. Oh and I’m promoting you to research assistant instead of just the P.A stuff.”
“Research,” I squeaked and he gave me a funny look.
“Yeah…you’ve done that before, right? In your resume-“
“Oh, yes,” I said quickly and laughed a little. “Of course. It’s just that, I haven’t done any of it with you so I was sort of confused. Um…sure, just let me know what you need info on.”
He nodded and picked up his plate to go back to the kitchen. “Medicine,” he replied. “I’ve never written anything based in a medical setting before. The male protagonist is a renowned heart surgeon and one of his former female patients starts to stalk him. It’s a suspense thriller.” He glanced over at me as he opened the fridge and added, “Don’t tell anyone that.”
Girl Obsessed: A Dark Romance Page 6
