With those words, he unhooked my arms from around his shoulders and left the kitchen to head upstairs. I started to feel a little angry then. The sensible part of me knew he would need Ella’s skills as a lawyer to avoid scandal but the part of me that loved him…
At that unfinished thought, my hands flew to my mouth and I stared at the entrance to the kitchen where he had disappeared from a few seconds ago.
Fear crawled inside my heart then as I allowed myself to reevaluate my feelings. Why did that surprise me? Admitting that I loved Jude Knight. I had always been obsessed with him so it should only be natural that after being around him for weeks and sleeping with him, I’d fall even deeper in love. Instead of him remaining an unattainable fantasy, he had turned into this real person whom I had let into my body and my heart. Someone who could actually hurt me if he ever got to know who Wynter Cassidy was.
I felt lost all over again and I knew deep in my soul that if that day ever came, I wouldn’t want to live in this world anymore. Not with the knowledge that Jude hated me for having deceived him. I would rather die.
That night, I clung to him tighter than usual when he made love to me. Jude didn’t say anything and neither did he pull away when I wanted to cuddle afterwards. He was so quiet, it was unnerving but I finally slept soundly wrapped up in his strong arms and praying that there would be no media storm to deal with tomorrow and that Jennifer wouldn’t actually follow through with her threat to destroy his career.
She would have hell to deal with later if she didn’t keep that mouth of hers shut.
The next morning, when I went downstairs after seeing that the bed was empty and he wasn’t in the shower or his office, I found him on the living room couch with a worried frown on his face. He wasn’t alone though. Ella was with him.
And not only was she with him but she was all over him.
I stood at the bottom of the stairs and studied them with a growing tide of jealousy and anger as Ella talked him through the process of dealing with a potential public scandal and the things Jennifer was and was not allowed to say about him which could harm his public image or career. She was good with her skills and I was glad Jude would have that legal protection against something that was obviously so important to him but she didn’t have to do those other things like put her hand on his thigh or rub his arm and keep her face so close to his.
She was like a vulture circling her prey, waiting for the moment when he was too weak to defend himself so she could swoop in and devour him whole. Bitch.
I was gritting my teeth and contemplating how to get back at her for laying her hands on him while he was so vulnerable when Jude received a phone call and excused himself to answer it.
“It’s Brent,” I heard him say to Ella in a surprised tone as he stood up. “I should take this. I’ll be right back.”
He walked towards me then and I held on to the banister as he approached with his phone stuck to his ear and already chatting with whoever this Brent guy was. I waited for him to frown at me, maybe feel resentful of the fact that I was there wearing his clothes and in plain view of Ella but he simply squeezed my shoulder with a hand and nodded a greeting before heading upstairs.
With a smug smile curling my lips, I strolled casually over to the living room and lowered myself on the couch opposite Ella, crossing my legs and regarding her coolly. She did the same to me and we stayed like that for about half a minute before she broke the silence.
“You know…I get the appeal,” she drawled. “I mean, he’s very attractive. Charismatic. Gifted. Passionate.”
I narrowed my eyes at her because even hearing her talk about him that way was grating on my nerves.
“But it’s not going to last, Riley,” Ella told me in a supremely confident tone. “Don’t get too attached.”
I lifted my chin at her and leaned back on the couch lazily, casually swinging my leg.
“You should be telling him that, sweetie,” I stated in as condescending a tone as I could manage. Payback for how she had talked to me during that dinner. “I mean, that last part. He’s the one who can’t keep his hands off me.”
Ella’s eyebrows slanted at that.
“He’ll get tired of you soon,” she said curtly. “Just like he did with Jennifer. Just like he did with the girl he dated before Jennifer. It’s only a matter of time. What Jude and I have is a stronger bond than any of his passing girlfriends can hope for. And when you’re out of the picture, Miss. Riley Benson, I’m the one he’s going to be unable to keep his hands off. And you must have noticed how he doesn’t mind my hands on him at all. That’s never going to stop.”
I had the sudden urge to smash her head against the coffee table in front of her when she smiled after that last sentence, sounding like a possessive, entitled bitch. Straightening slowly, I pinned her with a fierce gaze, making her look into my eyes and see the viciousness I felt towards her at daring to stake her claim on my lover.
“Touch him and I’ll make sure you never see the light of day again,” I told her through gritted teeth and Ella’s expression switched to one of shock.
She floundered for a moment before leaning forward and saying, “Did you just threaten me? I’m a lawyer. One of the best in the state of Georgia.”
I almost snorted at that, way past caring about who she was and what she could do to me. “Wow,” I said lightly and flicked an imaginary piece of lint off my shoulder. “So…you want a cookie?”
When I slid a glance towards her again, she was regarding me with venom in her expression and I waited for her to finally size me up and come to the realization that she had actual competition here.
“You really aren’t as quiet and innocent as you pretend to be most of the time, isn’t it, Riley Benson?” she questioned me slowly. “What did Jennifer let inside her house that day?”
I smirked at her and cocked my head to the side. “One of the best in Georgia, huh?” I taunted idly. “Took you long enough.
She opened her mouth to reply but then Jude came downstairs and I excused myself to go in the kitchen and make breakfast. I had made my point. She could do whatever she wanted with it. I didn’t care as long as she kept her hands off him.
Later that afternoon, I went out to do some shopping and coming home to Jude's apartment with a handful of bags felt so domesticated and natural. I still couldn't believe I was living with him now.
Jude was sitting on his bed with one foot on the floor and the other leg folded in front of him as he focused on his laptop. He didn't look up at me when I entered and said ‘hi’. Neither did he notice when I went inside the bathroom and came out wearing the new lingerie I had just bought. A red, lacy number.
My body image issues were fast fading away with the way Jude openly admired and enjoyed my curves. He loved them and so it helped me to see that there was a lot to be loved as well.
"Um...so I bought something," I spoke up after observing him for a while and shaking my head at the fact that he still hadn’t noticed me. I didn't really mind the lack of attention because he got like that whenever he went into writer mode. It was nothing personal.
Jude lifted his head at last and did a double-take before gawking like some schoolboy. I had to remind myself that this thirty-one year old man actually hadn't been with that many girls sexually. I was his fourth lover so far. He'd told me that a few days ago. He'd also told me that nobody had ever fucked him this way and responded so enthusiastically because the girls he had been with were usually very...tame.
Yeah. That was the word he had used and I had felt kind of proud of myself for being the only wild one out of the lot. The only one to match his passion. Me. Eighteen year old Wynnie.
Amusement flickered through me as the talented writer actually grappled with words while he took in my appearance. Then he put his laptop away and growled, "Come here."
That was all the encouragement I needed before I was all over him, kissing him eagerly and moaning out loud when he palmed my tits, my love handles and
then my ass.
"Damn it, Riley. You’re so fucking sexy," he breathed and tugged on my bottom lip with his teeth. "These curves are going to be the death of me."
I swept my hair to one side and angled my head to give him access to my throat, loving it when he nibbled on my skin there and spent a few good minutes licking and kissing that part of me while I held him close, not letting him see all the love I had for him in my eyes.
"You're really fucking sexy too," I whispered and ran my fingers through his hair. "Mmmm, Jude...I want you everywhere."
That was how I felt. Like I wanted him to fill me up in every way. Take every part of me and make it his.
"Oh yeah? What about here? Do you want me here too?" His finger was probing my asshole and his tone was just the right amount of desperate and lewd.
“Yes,” I answered, squirming slightly as he did that and growing extremely curious. “Even there, Jude. I want you to hurt me. Rip my clothes off. Take me even when I tell you no.”
Jude pulled away at my words and frowned at me uncertainly. “You are aware that such a thing is known as rape?”
I gave him a sinful smile, uncaring, unbothered. “As long as it’s you doing it, I really don’t care.”
His response was to search my expression like he honestly couldn’t figure me out but I never blinked or averted my gaze because I needed him to know I was serious. Consensual non-consent with him was something that excited the hell out of me instead of making me dread it. That was how much faith I had in this guy.
With a little sigh, he gathered me to himself and kissed my hair, saying, “You’re too trusting of me. Too young. Don’t you ever say those words to any other guy, do you hear me?”
A delightful shudder ran through me because he sounded like he was up for me saying it to him though. Maybe at some point later in our…relationship. I smiled and kissed him lovingly just for being so cool and open about indulging me when it came to my fantasies. He was absolutely amazing.
“For now, I really want to fuck my boss,” I informed him cheekily, grinding against his hard dick.
His hands moved to my panties and he growled, “You want to fuck your boss, huh? You want to be my dirty, little assistant?”
I couldn’t nod fast enough as I moved my hips faster and replied, “Yeah. So, so dirty. Just fucking take me.”
That was when he ripped my newly-bought panties and I gasped and looked down in shock, feeling my cunt getting even wetter while lamenting over the fact that the beautiful item of clothing was destroyed even if I had just told him I wanted him to tear off my clothes. Jude turned us around suddenly and tossed me on the mattress before grabbing my hair and rasping in my ear, “We’ll get you some more, don’t worry. I just realized that I like doing that a lot.”
I let out a giggle but then moaned when his fingers dug crudely into my pussy and fucked me. God, I wanted this man so much, I felt like I would burst with desire sometimes.
“On your hands and knees, Riley,” he ordered me, reaching forward to cup my tits and squeeze almost painfully. “Let’s take this to another level.”
An hour later, I lay there sated and happy as he got up to go into the bathroom and I heard water running in the sink. He’d spent about ten whole minutes just eating my pussy and ass before he had proceeded to fuck me. God, I could kill for this guy. No, I mean I really could if I had to. Jude returned after a minute, running a hand through his slightly wet hair and got into bed next to me, letting out a sigh.
I noted his peaceful expression, thinking how he appeared so boyish, how little it actually took to keep him content. It surprised me a little when he leaned towards me suddenly and dropped a soft kiss on my forehead.
"You're so good to me, Riley," he murmured and caressed my cheek. "You don't hold back. You like everything I do to you. You...seem to like me too although I'm not sure why. I'm just the guy you work for who couldn't keep his cock in his pants."
I caught his hand in mine and brought it to my lips to give it a firm kiss.
"No. You're so much more than that," I told him, keeping my eyes locked on his. "I've always admired you for your talent and mind. But...I'm also impressed by the guy you are in everyday life. You're kind and so full of passion. Sometimes, even a little vulnerable. You've just been sharing yourself with the wrong people."
Jude was gazing down at me as if he had never seen me before. I waited for him to say something about how he felt or what he thought of me but he just kept quiet. I tried not to let that faze me. I'd wanted him long before he had known I existed and I’d had a longer time to process and get used to my feelings. I was willing to give him the space to figure out his. But...he better not turn me down. The world didn't need to see that version of Wynter Cassidy. The one who had been spurned by the man she loved so much.
"I don't think I know this guy you're referring to," he finally responded before lying on his back and looking up at the ceiling. "You've put me on a pedestal. Please don't do that. What have I ever given you that makes you think I'm kind?"
I didn't reach out to touch him even though I badly wanted to smooth my hands over his shoulders and his bare chest and run my fingers lovingly through his hair. I just wanted to keep touching him and hated it when he withdrew from me.
"It's not just about giving," I insisted. "It's who you are as a person. The way you care about people. Even Jennifer."
"Riley-"
"Yes, you cheated, Jude. A lot of people do. You got involved with me because you didn't feel like your relationship with Jennifer had a future. You tried to tell her. It's not like you were just going to keep fucking me behind her back and fool her into thinking you were faithful."
His chest heaved as he let out a heavy sigh, contemplating my words. "I texted her today," he admitted after a moment. "I apologized. I explained. She wouldn't talk to me. I know I should've broken up with her before..."
We lay there in silence for a long time and again, I ached to reach out to him. To ask him how he felt about me. Was it only sex or did he feel some kind of connection? Did he see me as someone he could actually be with in the long term? What did he want out of this?
But even teenage me knew it was too soon. Too soon to be pushing a serious relationship with him. He'd just ended one so badly.
So I told myself to wait a while and kept my feelings to myself for the time being.
"What does R stand for?" I asked him curiously, steering the conversation towards something less intense.
Jude gave me a sidelong glance and raised his eyebrows inquiringly.
"J. R. Knight," I prompted, feeling silly because he couldn't read my mind. He couldn't see how he lived in it every minute of every day. "I was wondering what the 'R' was."
He looked away from me and very casually replied, "Reginald."
I couldn't have heard that properly. My eyes widened slightly and I peered at his profile. "What?"
He gave me a strange look and repeated, "Reginald."
I tried not to. But I couldn't stop the burst of laughter that sprang out of my mouth.
"Oh my god," I said between laughs. "Reginald? Seriously?"
For a moment, he simply observed me as I laughed and I noticed a hint of amusement on his usually serious face. Like he was trying to be sober but failing.
"Yeah. Why are you laughing?"
I snorted again and turned on my side, putting a hand over my mouth and willing myself to stop.
"I don't know," I answered with a grin. "I guess I just thought it would be something a little more...majestic sounding when I first read your name on a book cover." I deepened my voice dramatically and said, "J. R. Knight." Another giggle escaped me. "Reginald sounds so…anticlimactic."
Jude shook his head at me calmly. "I am offended on behalf of all the Reginalds of this world."
That made me giggle even harder because of the way he said it, in an almost bored voice. He knew...he knew it sounded kind of funny when said out loud with his other names.
; "No wonder you don't tell people that," I said in amusement.
"A lot of people don't know my first name either," he told me. "In the literary world, I'm just J.R or Mr. Knight. Unless someone looks it up, they wouldn't know to call me Jude."
"I knew," I said without thinking. "Even before I came here-" I stopped and almost cringed visibly at what I had started to reveal. "I mean...well, I read your books and I was curious so..."
I trailed off and found him regarding me with an interested expression so I simply smoothed a hand down one of his biceps and said, "I think we should sleep now." He blinked and nodded at me and inwardly, I breathed a sigh of relief when he didn’t probe further about my fangirling.
Jude settled into the pillows and I pulled up the sheets, feeling so happy to just be here like this with him. The world could go to hell for all I cared.
"Ella said she would talk to Jennifer and be able to avoid a public scandal," he murmured sedately. "But I might need to get out of the city for a while just in case there is an uproar. I mean, she's the senator’s daughter and she has a lot of female supporters. They would crucify me in the media if word gets out. I may not even be able to step out for a meal."
My happiness quickly melted away at the thought of him leaving the city because I couldn't bear to be away from him for more than a few hours. It drove me insane.
"I know," I whispered, biting my lip. "I'll handle your socials. Try to minimize the ‘cancelling’. Post something positive to divert their attention."
Jude’s hand reached out to take mine and he squeezed it, frowning a little. "I don't know why I'm like this. I should be able to keep a cool head at my age." He blew out a breath. "But...I faced cyber bullying as a teenager and...I don't know...I've just always hated the thought of people targeting me. It...affects me on a deeper level than is normal. My career...my readers mean so much. To jeopardize all of that…Jenny knows what it will do to me. She's well aware of my anxiety."
I squeezed his hand back, feeling a surge of protectiveness for him rising in my chest. Nobody was getting to him as long as I existed. Nobody.
Girl Obsessed: A Dark Romance Page 15
