“Yes, I know what you mean. Who are they? No one knows.”
“Of course we know who they are. They are the DeLucas and all the rest of the successful, powerful people who make the rules, but somehow the rules don’t always apply to them. The rules are meant to keep the rest of us in our places, which is working for the people who make the money and the rules. They have decided that liberal is a bad word. But who’s to say what success is? If you have a different idea of success and happiness you shouldn’t do what they tell you to do.”
“Are you an anarchist? What on earth is a girl like you doing with Nick?”
“See, I tell you I’m a liberal and you ask me if I’m an anarchist. I think you’ve been listening to them, and please don’t tell me you listen to talk radio. But, that's a good question about Nick. I’ve been looking for a roommate for a few months now. But then Nick got this Dallas thing and now I’ve got a single apartment, but it’s not going to last. He’s putting the pressure on me to move to Dallas, and I really don’t know why. We fight all the time and I just don’t get it. Why does he want to stay with me?
Anyway, this weekend when I get to Dallas, I have to tell him it's over. It’s just, I can’t afford a place by myself and then this Texas thing conveniently happened. That’s pretty sleazy though, isn’t it? I have to go on Craigslist or something. Just find someplace, anyplace. Maybe I’ll move home to Vermont for a while, or not.” She laughed.
“If you break up with him this weekend, that’s sure going to complicate the wedding.”
“Yeah, I know. I have to think of some way to handle this tactfully. I suppose I could wait until after Memorial Day but there are..." she paused, thinking of how to put it, "other things going on. Anyway, I’m exhausted. Let’s get some sleep, we have the parade and the garden tour tomorrow.”
She rolled over and reached towards the light between the two beds, shutting it off. Grabbing her cell phone, she rolled on her other side, facing away from Nan. She pulled the covers over her head and sent a text message. When she left Newburyport Monday morning, he made her promise she would let him know she arrived safely. He was nervous about airplane travel. They were only fifteen when September 11th happened and he seemed to have been deeply affected by the constant images of the planes flying into the buildings. Of course, there was also the car accident that killed his parents.
That didn’t stop him from getting on a plane. He flew to the other side of the globe when he went to Australia. His desire to see the world was greater than his fear of flying. He was also away this week. He and a friend, or a buddy as he liked to call these numerous friends of his, were skiing in Vail.
I made it to the Big Easy. The hotel is over the top. Partying on Bourbon Street this evening. This is going to be a long 5 days with the 9 handmaidens and the control freak bride. Anyway, my roomie is nice.
Her cell phone quickly vibrated.
Hey there. I was just about to text you. I was getting worried. Just got back from dinner. Snow tonight. A foot at least. Can’t wait to hit the slopes. I miss you.
The phone vibrated again. Nan mumbled sleepily, “Is that Nick?’”
“No. Sorry, is it keeping you awake?”
“No it’s okay. I’m fading. Who is it?”
“Just a good friend.” She read the text.
Make sure to see some good jazz or zydeco while you’re there. Can I call you right now?
My roommate is sleeping.
Go in the bathroom. I need to tell you something. I won’t talk long.
K. Give me a sec. She got up and went to the bathroom. Closing the toilet seat cover, she took one of the ultra plush towels from the rack above and sat on it. Her phone buzzed. She whispered as softly as she could. “Hello.”
“Hi. It’s me.”
She laughed quietly. “I know it’s you.” She couldn’t stop laughing. She tried to compose herself. “You wanted to tell me something?”
“I didn’t plan to do this over the phone but when the plane took off this morning I realized it couldn’t wait.”
“Did you think your plane was going to crash?”
“Well, you never know. Bad things happen.”
“Right, I understand.”
“Anyway, I wanted to tell you I love you.”
“Already? We just met.”
“Don’t you believe in love at first sight?”
“I don’t know. Do you?”
“I do now that I’ve met you. What do you mean you don’t know?”
“I guess my answer would be maybe. I’m not sure. It seems unrealistic, something made up for corny movies and fairy tales. Are you sure it isn’t lust?”
“Well the sex has been amazing, but no, it is not just lust. Are you saying that’s all it is?”
“No, I didn’t say that. It’s just, love.... that’s serious. But like I said, maybe it can happen.”
“I guess maybe is better than no.”
“I thought you said maybe meant no.”
“No, that’s what my mother said. I think maybe holds the possibility of yes. That’s why my mother and I used to argue about it.”
“Ah, I see. I wish I could kiss you right now.”
“You can. Send it right now. I’m waiting.”
She puckered her lips into a kiss, made a light smacking sound and blew loud enough so he could hear it. She waited a moment.
“Did you get it?”
“Umm, it’s a long way from New Orleans to Denver. Ah, there it is. It landed under my left eye.”
She laughed a little too loudly. “Hey, I have to go to bed. It’s two in the morning here.”
“Hold on. I just sent you a kiss.”
“I didn’t catch that, send it again.” She heard him making a very loud lip smooching sound then a whoosh like wind blowing when you’re lying in bed on a warm, breezy summer night with the windows open.
“Wow. That landed right in my ear. I love when you kiss my ears. Nice aim.”
“G’night. Sweet dreams.”
“Night. Carve some powder for me.”
“Will do.”
YOU’RE LUCKY TO HAVE
A JOB IN THIS ECONOMY
Ray set two ladders on the side of a large house and climbed up one, carrying a long wooden plank he placed on brackets attached to the ladders. Stepping out on to the staging, he leaned precariously far to his right as he hammered clapboards. A chilly wind blew dried brown leaves rustling across the yard. Ray was dressed in several layers of clothing with a large insulated flannel shirt on top.
Sophie sat in her cubicle, typing on her keyboard. The room was filled with the sound of people clicking and clacking, someone banging the keys as if sending an angry message, taking it out on the keyboard.
She worked on coding a stack of VISA statements she was responsible for paying each month. She had twenty-eight sales reps using the cards, traveling throughout the world. She envied the hotels they stayed in and the restaurants they dined at. She Googled some of the places they went as she sat in her cubicle coding each charge on the statements as either travel or meals expense. She closed her eyes, daydreaming.
* * *
She was swinging in a hammock strung between two palm trees by the blue Caribbean Sea, her laptop resting against her knees as she updated her website. She and Ray ran a bed and breakfast on the island of St. John and she handled the reservations, which people often booked on the Internet. Off in the distance, she could see the town of Red Hook over on St. Thomas. The ferry was headed towards her and the little town of Cruz Bay where she lived. The only sound she could hear was the lapping of the gentle waves on the shore and an occasional songbird.
They ran the inn from December to June, returning home to New England each summer and renting a house on Cape Cod. She finished cleaning the guest rooms before noon. Early afternoons were quiet, most of the guests at the beach or sightseeing. She took her cell phone out of her pocket and called a friend who ran a small restaurant in town. She was working a d
eal with him where she would refer people to his restaurant if he advertised her B&B on his website.
She thought she’d offer to take him to the golf course at the Ritz over near Red Hook for a round of eighteen holes later that week. She’d use her VISA card and take it as a business expense. She would classify it as advertising.
She heard her boss talking to Dan in the next cubicle. She quickly sat up straighter and got back to work.
* * *
Much later that evening, Sophie was at the gas station at the end of her road, pumping gas. It was dark outside, a cold night in November. The price at the pump was now $3.64. She looked up to see Lynn pull up to the pump next to hers. Lynn got out of the car without looking around. “Hey Lynn, how are you?” Sophie shouted.
Lynn looked upset and distracted. Pointing to the price of gas on the pump, Sophie asked, “What’s up with the price of this gas? I have to fill up twice a week. That sure takes a bite out of my six hundred bucks a week take home pay.”
“Hey, Sophie. Are you just getting home from work?”
“Yeah, I had to stay late to make up for the time I took when my Dad was in the hospital. You look upset. Is anything wrong?”
“Doug lost his job.”
“What? Oh, Lynn, I can’t believe this. He’s only been there six months, right? How the hell did this happen?”
“I don’t know. But I knew something was wrong when he pulled in the driveway earlier than usual tonight.”
“Well come back to my house for some wine.”
“I can’t. I’ve got to get back to the house. He’s so upset. He feels like he let us all down. What are we going to do? This is the second time in a little over a year. It took him eight months to find this job.”
“He didn’t let you down. The American dream has let us all down.” She scoffed. “How could they hire him for six months? That’s nuts.”
“I know, and now what does his resumé look like? How does he find another job in his late forties? And we’ve got one kid in college, another in high school. How do we do this?”
Sophie finished pumping gas. The total was $62.00. She walked over to Lynn and hugged her. “What a world. Should we start an Occupy Main Street encampment in town?” They both laughed, half-heartedly.
“I couldn’t even understand what he was saying. I don’t really know what happened. I feel like my life is totally out of my control.”
“He’s just distraught. I know how he feels. When I lost my job and was unemployed for fourteen months, it was a roller coaster ride. Are you sure you don’t want to come over for one quick glass of wine? I have plenty. I’m making lasagna and definitely opening a bottle. I can’t drink it all myself. Or maybe I could, but I shouldn’t.”
“You’re starting a lasagna at eight at night?”
“Yeah, crazy life, huh? What are you gonna do? We’ll be eating at nine if we’re lucky. At least we can eat it for the rest of the week and I won’t have to cook. Ray will love that. He doesn’t even like lasagna.”
“No, I really have to get back. I told Doug I needed to pick up milk, but I really needed wine. He’s so upset, I can’t leave him for long.”
Sophie hugged Lynn again. “Hang in there. It will work out. It always does, doesn’t it?
Lynn sighed. “I know. I hope you’re right. Call me tomorrow.”
“I’ll call while driving to work in the morning.”
Sophie walked back to her car, got in and waved to Lynn as she took a left out of the gas station and drove down her street. Looking in the rearview mirror, she saw Lynn still pumping gas and wiping her eyes.
Later that night, Ray and Sophie were lying in bed. Ray watching the Celtics and Sophie reading. She put her book down. “Doug lost his job today.”
“No. Well that sucks.”
“Yeah, I don’t know what they’re going to do. Lynn is beside herself. I guess I’m lucky I have my cubicle and you’ve got work through the holidays. You do have work through the holidays this year, right?”
“Yeah, I’ve got work right up to Christmas.”
“God, I hate the holidays. Seriously Ray, I don’t know what we’re all doing. Working our butts off and getting nowhere, at the mercy of some job. We give these jobs the majority of our waking time and we’re treated like we’re all just disposable. They call us a human resource. Am I just stupid or is there something wrong with this picture?”
“You’re not stupid, Sophie.” He rolled towards her and gave her a kiss.
“I have my annual review tomorrow and how much you want to bet there’s another raise freeze? The company’s growing like crazy, we’re all doing the work of two people and there’s a raise freeze. But they know we’re scared. They think we should be grateful we have a job.”
She looked over at Ray. His eyes were closing as he started to doze off. She reached over and shook his shoulder. “Ray, I've really been missing Kathy lately. I was talking to her while I was driving to work today.”
Ray rolled over and put his arm around her. “That’s okay, honey. It’s hard. Grief comes and goes. It’s a circle, not a straight line.”
“It’s been four years now. There are days that go by and I don’t even think of her, then I suddenly need to talk to her and I go to dial her number because I’ve forgotten that I’ve lost her. But she lost me too, and all the people she loved, and all the things she would have done had she not died so young. Death was her loss, too.” Sophie started to cry, tears rolling down her cheeks. Ray hugged her, holding her tight.
“I have been so unhappy lately, day after day in that cubicle. I feel life passing me by while I sit in the same place doing the same thing, living for the weekends. What kind of way is that to live? Sleep walking through five days out of seven. When I was talking to her, I realized something. I have to be happy for the both of us. I have to go on and do the things we were going to do together and didn’t get the chance to. I can’t wait. I have to be happy now. Life is short. She taught me I have to live every day like it's my last. I have to remember what is important.”
Ray stroked her hair. He whispered in her ear, “I know. We’re getting there. We’re getting things done around here. We’ll get the house on the market. We’ll get you out of that cubicle and doing something you like. I promise.”
She kissed him and wrapped her legs around him. He rolled the both of them towards the edge of the bed, shut the light off and kissed her as he rolled them back towards the center of the bed. “It’s gonna be okay, Sophie. I love you.”
* * *
Sophie was in her cubicle, staring at her computer screen. Googling The Actor, she saw he was filming a movie in L.A. She looked at pictures of him on the set. The very loud HVAC system stopped blowing for a minute, it got a little quieter in the room. She could hear the sound of people walking above her. The ceiling squeaked loudly. She sent Dan an email.
Do you hear that squeaking noise above us? It’s like being in a cheap motel beneath an insomniac who is pacing the floor all night.
Sophie’s computer beeped, a reminder came up. Meeting in Tina’s office in fifteen minutes. She closed the screen with The Actor and left to get coffee in the cafeteria, where she ran into Dan. “Annual review in ten minutes.”
“Good luck. You thinking raise?” Dan laughed.
“You kidding me?”
“No shit. Hey, I asked my girlfriend to move out.”
“No. Hey, I gotta get back up there, but tell me all about it later, okay?”
Grabbing a pad of paper and a pen as she passed her cubicle, she entered Tina’s office and closed the door behind her. Tina looked up smiling. “So Sophie, we’ve had an amazing year, haven’t we?”
“I’ll say. We can barely keep up with all this work.”
“I know, and I am hoping to get approved for more help, at least part time. But right now, that’s not in the budget.” Tina passed an evaluation sheet across the desk. Sophie’s heart skipped a beat. Did Tina know how much she surfed the web? Wha
t if she knew about The Actor? The company did spy on people’s Internet activity sometimes. That really pissed her off, as did random drug testing. Didn’t anyone care about the right to privacy anymore?
“I want you to know you are doing a great job and we truly appreciate it. You are a joy to work with, always smiling and willing to help, taking on extra work without being asked. You manage your time really well, have risen to new challenges and you exceed expectations.”
“Thanks.” Sophie started to think there had to be a raise coming next.
“Right now, we have a raise freeze in effect. I am doing my best to get one for you as soon as possible. But I want you to know that you are approved for overtime if you need to complete your work.”
“Well, okay. Gee, thanks.” Disappointed but smiling, she said, “I want to thank you for being so easy to work with.”
“Thank you, Sophie. I appreciate your hard work.”
Sophie returned to her desk, looked at the clock, rolled her eyes and spent the rest of the afternoon Googling The Actor and sending emails. A friend in Rhode Island was having an ongoing conversation with her about her parents. She read a long article in New York Magazine about the sandwich generation, copying and pasting some of the information and sending it to her friend and her sister, Annie. Nothing like an endless raise freeze to squash employee morale.
An email came in from Dan. He finally responded to her insomniac comment.
LOL
Tina walked by and said, “I have a meeting in Jodi’s office.”
“Okay,” Dan said. “See ya.”
After the door closed, Dan hopped up and poked his head in her cubicle. He leaned against the wall. “Raise?”
“No. We’ve still got a raise freeze. But I can work overtime. I’ve been approved.”
“You’re shittin’ me, right?”
“No, I shit you not. Hey, so tell me what happened with your girlfriend.”
“Well, after we called off the wedding, living together seemed so beside the point. If we’re not getting married, where are we going with this? Right?”
The Reverse Commute Page 14
