by Carnal, MJ
The picture that is now my background has me almost dropping the phone into the toilet. I’m lying across the bar at the club we were at with my dress up around my waist. A guy has his back to the camera and his upper body is bent over me, his face near my stomach.
“Please, no,” I whisper, and my shaky fingers press the icon for my text messages. As soon as the screen changes, texts between Kenton and me pop up. “No, no, no…” I chant, reading the messages.
Me: Why do you hav to so hot?
Kenton: Where are you?
Me: da clubs lol
Kenton: What club?
Me: I wants to kis you all ovr
Kenton: Dammit, tell me where you are.
Me: I asj Tara shesnice.
Kenton: I’m on my way.
Me: howz that
Me: Yoi kisz god
Kenton: Go to the bar and ask for water.
Me: Tequeda is like watber
Kenton: Baby, I need you to find somewhere to sit down until I get there.
Me: Sitty with a nicews guy
Kenton: Where’s Tara?
Me: herre
Kenton: Parking now.
I close my eyes and bite the inside of my cheek hard, trying not to cry from embarrassment. I’m never drinking again.
Chapter 4
Not My Ass!
After I read the text messages in the bathroom, I try to sneak back into my bedroom, planning to hide out until it’s time to go to Viv’s house for dinner. Unfortunately, as soon as I make it back into my room, Kenton knocks on the door.
I think about not answering, but I don’t want to be mean after he so obviously took care of me the night before. As soon as I tell him to come in, he pushes the door open, carrying a cup of coffee in one hand and a bagel in the other. I don’t know how to react to him being sweet. Since the day I met him, things have been a roller coaster, and I’m not someone who likes amusement parks.
“I want you to try to eat something,” he says, walking around the bed.
“Thanks, and thank you for taking care of me last night,” I tell him, taking the coffee from his hand as he sets the bagel down on the bedside table.
“How’s your head?”
“Better. Thanks for the Tylenol.”
“You’re welcome.”
The small smile he gives me has my eyes dropping to his mouth. I take in his face, the scruff along his jaw, and the way his hair hangs, touching the collar of his shirt.
“You need to shave,” I blurt and look away, but my eyes go back to him when his laugh hits my ears.
“You think so?” he asks, rubbing his hand along his jaw. I want to lean forward and touch his face to see what it feels like against my skin. “You might like it,” he mumbles, his eyes dropping to my thighs.
I don’t know if he’s thinking what I am, but the thought of the rough scruff on his jaw running along the inside of my thighs has my hands shaking.
“Eat. We’ll head out in a couple of hours. I got some stuff to take care of before then, but come find me in the office,” he says, his voice sounding deeper than before.
I nod, not able to say anything. I have a feeling that any words that might come out of my mouth right now would be incoherent anyways.
He looks at me again then stands, shaking his head. I watch him as he walks to the bedroom door, stops at the threshold to look at me over his shoulder before tapping the doorjamb twice, and then leaves the room. I let out a long breath, wondering what the hell I’m going to do. I’m drawn to him. He scares the shit out of me. I’m never like this and don’t know what to do with the jumbled mess my emotions are in.
~~*
“You okay?” Kenton asks, and I look from the house in front of us over to him and nod before I start to open the door to his car. “Wait here while I come around,” he says, unfolding his large body from behind the driver’s seat.
I watch him walk around to the passenger’s side of the car. Watching him move is fascinating to me. He reminds me of a lion or a bear, his movements fluid, even with his large mass.
He opens my door and I get out, running my sweaty palms down the front of my shorts as I stand. As soon as I clear the door of the car, his hand goes to the small of my back and he leads me up the front porch. He doesn’t even knock or ring the bell; he just opens the screen door and walks us into the house.
My feet stop inside the front door. I didn’t tell Viv that Kenton was going to be bringing me, and I don’t want her to think that I’m rude, even if they are family.
“What’s wrong?” he asks, his eyebrows coming together.
“I feel bad. I should have called and told Viv what was going on. I don’t like springing this on her,” I tell him, fidgeting with the ends of my sweater.
“I called her this morning and told her I was coming,” he assures me.
“Oh.”
“It’s all good. Come on.” He grabs my hand, pulling me along with him.
When we clear the front hall, we walk into the large living room, where more than a dozen people turn to look at us.
“Crap,” I whisper and then glare at Kenton when he starts to laugh.
“Autumn, you’re here! And look! You brought the ass,” Viv says, walking towards us.
I feel my eyes go wide at the word ‘ass’ and start shaking my head at her.
“Oh, honey, trust me. I know this one’s an ass.” She pats Kenton’s cheek, smiling up at him.
“Thanks, Aunt Viv.” He laughs, kissing her cheek.
When she comes to me, her hands go to my face, her eyes look me over, and she smiles, shaking her head. I have the urge to bite my lip. I know what she’s thinking, and she is oh-so wrong.
“Is Mom here?” Kenton asks her, and I look over at him, feeling suddenly like I might be sick.
“Yep. She’s outside with your uncle.”
“I’m gonna go get my mom, baby. I’ll be right back,” he tells me and starts to move away.
“No! I mean…don’t do that. I…um, I need to go back to the house,” I say quickly, trying to plan my escape. “You guys have a nice dinner and I’ll just reschedule.”
“Oh, nonsense,” Viv says, waving her hand around.
No way do I want to meet Kenton’s mom, and there is nothing anyone can say that will convince me differently, I think, feeling the panic rise.
“Honey, I’m so glad you’re here,” a woman says, walking into the room.
I take her in. Her dark hair is shorter than Kenton’s. She’s petite; I would guess close to five one. She’s wearing a long, flowing dress and a blue jean vest with a wide belt wrapped around her waist. My eyes close and my head falls forward. Now I have no way to get out of this without looking like an ass.
“I thought Aunt Viv filled you in on what was goin’ on,” Kenton says as he picks the woman up off the floor, giving her a hug.
“She did. Well, kinda. She said you were bringing someone to dinner, and I told her if it was Cassie, I was not going to be happy,” she says, and Kenton chuckles as he sets her on her feet.
“I didn’t come with him,” I blurt like an idiot, causing the woman’s eyes to come to me. “I mean…we drove together, but we didn’t come together.” I lower my head and shake it back and forth. “I mean, we’re not together. Viv asked me to dinner a few weeks ago, and I’ve been coming every Sunday since.” Shut up! Shut up, you idiot, I tell myself. Sadly, I don’t even listen to my own warnings. “Kenton and I just live together. That’s all.”
Viv gives my arm a squeeze and Kenton’s mom looks like her eyes are going to pop out of her head. When I look at Kenton, his eyes are soft as he smiles and shakes his head.
“Mom, this is Autumn. Autumn, this is my mom, Nancy.”
“Hi. It’s nice to meet you,” I tell her, sticking out my hand. Nope, this isn’t awkward at all.
“You too, honey.” She pulls me in for a hug then looks over at Viv and smiles. Viv smiles back, and I can see the wheels in her head are turning.
“Sure, honey. Go on,” Kenton’s mom says.
I want to grab him and have him take me with him. His eyes come to me and light up, and something about the look has me taking a step back.
“I’ll be outside, baby,” he conveys sweetly, taking a step towards me, and before I can step back again or duck, his hand slides around my waist and his mouth lands on mine in a kiss that forces all the oxygen out of my lungs. When his mouth leaves mine, my fingers go to my lips. “Okay, ladies. Take care of my girl,” he says, pulling his eyes from me. His hands give my waist a slight squeeze, and then he turns around and walks towards the kitchen before I can ask him what the hell that was.
“So, it’s a small world, huh?” Viv snarks, looking over at Nancy then back at me. “I didn’t know your ass was my nephew.”
“He’s not my ass. I mean…sorry. Your son’s not an ass or anything like that,” I say, looking at Nancy, feeling my pulse race, and wishing I could teleport out of the room.
“Honey, I know my son, and I know he can be a little rough around the edges, so please don’t feel bad for calling him an ass.” She smiles with a twinkle in her eyes. “So, how long have you been seeing each other?”
“Oh, no, we’re not.” I shake my head frantically, looking between the two of them.
“Really?” She tilts her head to the side, studying me.
“No, we’re not together,” I insist and then glance at Viv, who is wearing a very large smile.
“That’s interesting. Don’t you think that’s interesting, Nancy?”
“Very,” Nancy says with a smile.
I look at the two women and can tell that they are both up to something. Between them and Kenton, I don’t know what I’m going to do.
“So, Viv said you used to be a dancer. Is that right?” Nancy asks while we’re sitting at the dinner table a short time later.
I start to choke on my sip of tea. Kenton pats my back, and I wipe my eyes with my napkin, trying to figure a way out of this.
“She was, and in Vegas no less,” Viv confirms. “Maybe we could have her teach us some moves.”
“Oh, God,” I breathe into my napkin, feeling my face heat up.
“There is nothing to be embarrassed about, child. Hell, if I looked like you, I would never wear clothes,” Nancy says, and I hear a few chuckles.
“This is not really happening,” I chant to myself, looking over at Kenton, whose whole body is shaking with the force of his silent laugher. “This is not funny,” I hiss.
“It’s pretty damn funny.” He pulls me to him by the back of my neck, putting his lips to my forehead.
“Stop,” I tell him quietly, pushing at his chest, not wanting to cause a scene in front of his family.
He smiles again and shakes his head. I pull away and look around the table at everyone watching us. My eyes land on Kenton’s dad’s. When his go soft and he smiles, my anxiety eases somewhat.
I found out earlier that not only is Viv sweet, but Kenton’s mom is really funny and his dad is like a giant teddy bear who often shakes his head when his wife says something a little crazy, pulls his daughter Toni into his side to kiss her hair when she’s close, and pats his son on the back when he approves of something he says. I smile back at him before lowering my eyes to my plate.
The rest of dinner is a blur, and before I know it, I’m saying goodbye to everyone and getting into Kenton’s car.
“Did you have a good time?” Kenton asks.
I roll my head in his direction and glare. “Did I have a good time? Really?”
He starts to chuckle as he starts the car. I roll my eyes, laying my head back against the head rest.
“My aunt loves you, and my mom already adores you,” he says softly as I feel his hand on the bare skin of my thigh.
I pick up his hand, putting it back on his side of the console as he pulls out of the driveway. “Your whole family is very sweet,” I tell him, watching as the corner of his mouth lifts up.
“I thought for sure we were making progress,” he says, taking his eyes off the road to look at me with his lips twitching.
“You thought wrong.” I turn my head away from him, watching out the car window as the scenery quickly flies by.
“You work tonight?”
“Yep,” I answer shortly.
“What time?”
“I gotta be there by eleven.” I roll my head on the headrest in his direction.
“You gonna take a nap?” he asks, his long fingers tapping on the steering wheel.
“Probably.” I shrug. “I haven’t really been able to get used to this schedule.”
“Can you get on a different shift?” He sounds concerned.
“If a spot opens up, I can ask to transfer,” I say, shifting against the leather of his seat.
“You gonna do that?”
“Maybe. The thing is…I really need to think about what I’m going to do. I love Vegas and everything, but this is the first place I have felt at home. I love the people and the lifestyle here. I feel a lot more relaxed than I used to, and I think I might see if I can find an apartment and move here permanently.” I don’t know why I just said all that out loud. Up until now, it was just a thought rolling around in my head.
“You have a place to stay as long as you want.”
“Thanks,” I whisper, my heart squeezing.
“You can’t move out for a while though,” he says, and his jaw starts ticking. “I talked to Link, and the cops are still tracking the guy.”
“I know. He told me,” I say, feeling a chill slide down my spine.
“Nothing’s going to happen to you.”
“The whole thing doesn’t even feel real.” I shake my head. Every time I think about what happened, I can’t believe how lucky I was.
“It’s very real. Five people were murdered. Don’t ever forget that,” he growls, his knuckles turning white on the steering wheel.
“I will never forget it,” I whisper softly, my hand moving to his jaw, wanting to comfort him, but right when I’m about to touch him, I start to pull away, realizing what I’m doing. Before I have a chance to move away completely, his hand catches mine, pulling my fingers up to his mouth, where he places a gentle kiss.
“Stop fighting this,” he says gently. He drops my hand to his thigh, where he covers it with his own. The harnessing warmth of his thigh under my palm has my breaths increasing. “Stop fighting us.”
“There’s no us,” I tell him, shaking my head, trying to pull my hand away.
“You’re so fucking stubborn.” He tightens his hold on me.
“And you’re an ass,” I growl, and the car jerks to the right, onto the side of the road.
My body goes forward when he slams on the brakes. His hand goes to my seatbelt, and as soon as he presses the button, he pulls me over and onto his lap. One hand goes to my waist and the other to the back of my head and into my hair, forcing my head to the side.
“Stop,” I hiss, trying to wiggle free.
“No. Every time I knock one brick out of place, you put ten more in its place,” he seethes.
“Let me go.”
“If I have to keep kissing you to prove there is something between us, then fuck it.” His hand in my hair fists tighter as he pulls my head back, holding me immobile. “I told you before not to fucking lie to me.”
“Please.” I don’t know if I’m asking him to kiss me or stop what he’s doing, but the second the word leaves my mouth, his comes down on mine, possessing me with his kiss. I let go, completely drowning in him and his taste. My hands go to his long hair, gripping it between my fingers.
I whimper into his mouth as his other hand skims the underside of my breast. I’ve never wanted anyone like I want him. He makes me feel again—something I haven’t done in a long time. Something about him makes me want to open up, but the part of me that clicked into place to protect myself when they took my son was so s
trong I didn’t know if anyone would be able to get to the real me again.
“Every time I get my mouth on you, you melt,” he says against my lips when he pulls his away from mine. “I know you’ve been hurt.” I close my eyes, turning my face away from him. “I know you don’t want to hear it, but I won’t stop until I have you.”
I shake my head. He turns my face back towards him, placing a soft kiss on my forehead then my lips before lifting me off him, setting me back in my seat, pulling my seatbelt around me, and buckling me in place. We drive in silence for a long time. I don’t know what he’s thinking, but all I can think about is what would happen if I gave him a chance. Then I wonder if Link told him what happened to me.
“Have you talked to Link about me?” I ask, looking over at him. I don’t like the idea of him learning things about my history from someone else.
“To be honest with you, he offered to tell me about you.” He looks over at me, his hand coming to my thigh and giving it a squeeze before his eyes go back to the road. “I want you to be the one to tell me. I want you to trust me with whatever it is that has forced you to put up those barriers around yourself.”
I let out a long breath, one I didn’t know I was holding.
“I want you to come to me, Autumn,” he says softly.
Those words make my heart break a little. I wasn’t sure I would ever be able to go to anyone ever again. I close my eyes and fight back the tears that’ve started stinging my nose. When we get to the house, he says a quiet goodbye, telling me that he has some business to take care of. I nod, go into the house, and straight up to my room, where I crawl into bed, pulling the pillow over my head so I can cry.
Chapter 5
Done, I’ll Give Her Crazy
(Oops, did I do that?)
“We have a Life Flight coming in,” Tara says, coming into the room where I’ve been taking care of a patient. I automatically stop what I’m doing and follow her. “Derik has already started getting things ready. The victim is a young male suffering head trauma,” she says as we hurry into the emergency room.
