by Carnal, MJ
Peace. Even with the fear of telling him everything, my soul is at peace.
A deep throat clearing brings me back to earth. I lean up, look over Axel’s shoulder, and meet Maddox’s laughing eyes. It’s such a rare sight that I am momentarily speechless. He looks so different when he allows his emotions to come out, youthful and approachable, completely different that his normal hard, cold staring.
“Interesting. Live porn. Think you could at least take this reunion behind closed doors? Or maybe your own fucking house?” His eyes might have been laughing with me but his question to Axel was full of unspoken warning. It looks like I have earned myself another big bad brother.
“Sorry, Mad,” I whisper over Axel’s shoulder and give him a wink.
“Sorry? Fuck that shit, Izzy.” Axel lets my feet fall to the floor and holds on to my hips to make sure I have my balance before he gets ready to address Maddox. He leans down and, with a growly whisper, says, “Don’t you move, Izzy. I won’t have Locke looking at you half naked with that just-fucked glow about you. Damn…mmmm. I can’t wait to be deep inside you.”
I get one chaste kiss before he gives me his back and makes sure his big body is completely covering me before addressing Maddox.
“My bad, brother. I won’t apologize that it happened. Hell fucking no. Best breakfast I’ve ever had.” His laughter is vibrating his body. I dig my hands into his shirt and push my heated face into his back. How embarrassing.
“Funny. Just hilarious. Fucking shit, I need to get laid. Asshole.” Maddox walks past us and into the kitchen. He’s wearing some worn sweats, which are hanging low on his hips. It’s a good thing I don’t have the hots for him, because this view of him scratching his ass while searching the fridge is not his best look.
“Classy, Mad!” I call over to him, unable to keep my giggles in. “You shouldn’t have any trouble with the ladies if you keep digging in your ass!” I’m laughing harder now, feeling like the weight that was pushing down on my body is almost gone.
Axel turns around, gives me a small smile, and wraps me in his arms again, lifting me off the floor so he can easily whisper in my ear.
“Missed that sound so fucking much.” His lips kiss a line from my shoulder to my ear. His tongue comes out and licks along the shell, causing me to shiver in his arms and moan his name.
“You two need to either get the fuck out or get behind closed doors. Don’t need to be seeing that shit this goddamn early. Go reunite somewhere else. Serious as fuck right now. I get it, and I will only say this once—about fucking time,” Maddox says matter-of-factly like while he butters his toast.
I pull away from Axel and just look into his eyes. I notice the adoration that still shines bright. I hope I’m giving him just a small sign of what I’m feeling when I smile up at him.
Maddox was right last night. I can’t hold it in anymore, and when I have Axel back in my arms, the uncertainty isn’t as terrifying. With everything else that is a mess right now in my life, I feel like this is one thing I might be ready to deal with and move on from. Hopefully I’m making the right decision here, but I can’t hold on to the past anymore. I can’t hold that pain in, and more importantly, I am ready to let him in. Let him in in the hopes that we can find a way back to each other that isn’t just about this sexual buzz roaring around us.
“Go get cleaned up, yeah? And please put some fucking clothes on. As fine as that body is, I don’t want anyone else enjoying the view.”
“Sure, Axel. I’ll go get cleaned up, but I don’t understand what your issues are with my clothes! Most bathing suits show a whole hell of a lot more than this. Maddox doesn’t care, and he doesn’t see me like that.” I try to reason with him, and it might have worked if Maddox would have kept his mouth shut.
“Just because I’m not pushing you up against walls and humping you like a fucking animal doesn’t mean I can’t appreciate the view. You just haven’t caught me looking.” He laughs—LAUGHS—between mouthfuls of his breakfast.
“Ugh, pig!” I yell and run off to the room I have been staying in.
“Izzy, get your shit packed up. I’ll be back around lunch to pick you up. This fucking sleepover party bullshit is over now. You’re coming home with me, got it?” he yells down the hall.
Ready or not…time to find some of that locked-down courage and face the facts. Ax is back and we are about to have a ‘make it or break it,’ ‘come to Jesus’ talk. For the first time in years, the thought of opening up those old wounds doesn’t terrify me.
Chapter 14
(Axel)
Fuck me, I think as I walk out of Locke’s apartment and climb into my truck. I sit there for a second, trying unsuccessfully to calm down, shifting slightly to try and ease some of the discomfort in my pants. My cock is so hard that I might have permanent indentions from my zipper.
I rub my hands over my face, trying to bring my heart back to a normal speed. Fuck. I can still smell her, her arousal still clinging to my fingers, making my cock even harder. Swear to Christ, I have never been this ready to explode, not even when I was a horny teenager getting a fucking hard-on for every single female I looked at.
Damn.
Even better than I remember. Iz came alive under my fingers. Just one kiss and everything else ceased to exist. She consumed me. Her breathy moans, her soft skin, her delicious fucking kisses, and that warm fucking pussy just begging for me to take her.
It wasn’t my intention when I got here to go there. Not yet, at least. I have been slowly going insane since Saturday when the ex showed up. Knowing she was hurt was one thing, but knowing I hadn’t been there to protect her was enough to keep me on edge all week. I haven’t gotten shit done around the office, but if Greg noticed, he didn’t say anything. He was just as worried about Izzy but his had the added fear that he still didn’t have her whole friendship back. I know they talked before the game Saturday, but they haven’t since, with the exception of a few calls to check in. He might be having a hard time not being able to protect her too, I don’t fucking know. I haven’t asked, but I do know one thing. Even if they are best fucking friends, exchanging friendship necklaces and shit, he won’t be the one in charge of protecting MY Izzy anymore.
I have been struggling with the desire still very much there between us for a few months now. Even when I’m not in her presence, I know she is there, just within reach, and I have finally come to the realization that I’m not ready to let her go. Not again. And if I’m being totally honest with myself, I haven’t ever gotten over the fact that she was and always will be ‘it’ for me.
I don’t have any delusions. We have a lot of shit to work out, but I am ready to fight and not just fight for us but fight anyone, including that piece-of-shit ex-husband.
Shaking my head, I start my truck and head off to run some errands. I need food if I expect Izzy to stay with me, and I need some condoms. There is no way, especially after that shit back at Locke’s house, that we will be able to spend time alone and not end up naked. I am ready to make my girl mine again.
A few hours later, I have a fully stocked fridge with more food than we will ever need and the biggest boxes of condoms I could find. Three boxes might be excessive for a normal man, but for me, that;s just making sure I’m prepared. I plan on making a huge fucking dent in those boxes as soon as possible. My cock is still standing at attention, and at this point, I’m starting to fear my balls might fall off.
Desperate for some relief before I go back for Izzy, I climb the stairs and make my way into my bathroom, stripping as I go. Turning the water on, I step in and start cleaning my body, making a point to avoid my throbbing dick. When I finish soaping up and rinsing off, I lean my hand against the far wall and let the water rush over my tense shoulders. I wrap my hand around my cock and let out a sharp hiss. Stroking a few times, I bring my hand down and caress my balls then guide it back up, and firmly taking hold of my cock. Only a few stokes are needed before I feel my balls pull up tight. My hand picks up spe
ed, going from root to tip in a slow, steady, and firm rhythm. All I can picture is Izzy’s face when she came this morning, and with the memory of her cry of pleasure, I still my hand and let the orgasm take over my body. My abs tense with every jet of come that shoots from my body.
I rinse off again and leave the shower. I quickly dry off and throw on a pair of jeans and a black tee before setting off to claim my woman. Just thinking about whom I am going to pick up later and the night I have planned for us has my dick rearing back up and back to life. I lock the door and climb back into my truck with the anticipation and knowledge that in just a few hours, God willing, I will have her tight, hot body underneath mine again.
Smile on my face, rock-hard dick in my pants, and some peace in my heart, I feel like I can take on the world and win. Time to hurry these errands up so I can get her back in my arms.
Get ready, Izzy, because here I come.
~~*
(Izzy)
After Axel leaves, I’m in a complete daze. If it weren’t for the buzzing still running through my body, I would have thought I dreamt the whole thing. Well, that and the fact that Maddox hasn’t stopped smirking at me for the last hour. Cheeky little bastard.
“You think this is hilarious, don’t you?” I ask him, after losing a ten-minute-long staring contest.
“No, girl, not hilarious. I knew this shit would happen. You two… You two have that once-in-a-lifetime type of shit that will always triumph. Try as you might, there was no avoiding that. Meant what I said last night. There was no way you two would be able to hold that back. You can forget how it was, being apart from each other, but that kind of passion? It never dies.” He turns away from me and walks off towards his room.
Guess he thinks we are done here.
“Hey, wait a minute. What am I doing here, Mad? Am I making a huge mistake?”
“You’re always going to make mistakes in a relationship, girl. The trick is to make sure you communicate and learn from them. The way I see it, the only issue you two have right now is communication. You need to tell him what you told me last night. He might take it well, he might not. But you have to buckle up and be ready to ride that wave when it comes. You want him? Fight for it. Be honest. That’s all you can do.”
“What if he hates me?” I whisper, not making eye contact with him.
“Izzy, look at me.” When I meet his eyes, he continues. “I don’t know how he will react. You can’t go into this in fear. Told you last night, both of you have your wires so fucked up. Not just crossed, they might as well be on different sides of the globe. If he doesn’t take it well, call me and I’ll come get you, but don’t go into this with the mindset that he will hate you. Fuck, girl, you were a child.”
It makes sense, what he is saying, but I am so scared to let Axel in again, only to lose him all over. I know without a doubt that he will be upset, but I worry he will blame me for losing our baby.
“All right, Mad. I promise to keep an open mind, but you better come if I need you.”
“Any time, girl.”
We go our separate ways after that. Maddox gets ready and leaves to get some work done, whatever that means. I still am not exactly sure what these boys do. It doesn’t take me long to pack. I don’t have much here since Dee has been bringing me more as I need it. I don’t think either one of us is ready to admit that I might be gone for a while. There isn’t anything we can do about Brandon because of his alibi, so right now we are just watching, waiting, and praying he is done with me. I’m not stupid enough to believe that just yet.
I take a shower, apply the ointment to my back the best I can, and place some bandages on the worst of the wounds. My eye is looking better. Well…better if you count that I can open it but it has that nasty yellowish brown color to the bruising. It is still a little swollen but not as bad as it was three days ago. There really isn’t anything I can do to fix my mess of a face so I pull my hair back into a messy bun and finish removing all traces of myself from Maddox’s guestroom.
Realizing I probably have quite a bit of time to kill before Axel gets back, I decide to give Maddox’s house a good clean. I grab my iPhone out of my bag and hook up my earbuds. When One Republic’s ‘Feel Again’ fills my ears, I can’t stop the smile that takes over my face. I bet I look ridiculous, just standing in the middle of Maddox’s kitchen with bleach in one hand, a scrubber in the other, and a big, blinding smile on my face.
Deep down inside, I hope this is another sign that fate is finally on my side.
I just finish up cleaning Maddox’s bathroom when I hear a knock at the door. Butterflies immediately start fluttering inside my stomach. I actually reach down and press my hand against my stomach to see if I can feel them. Laughing softly at my ridiculous actions, I put away the cleaning supplies and brush off my pants.
Deep breath in.
I check the peephole and see Axel’s handsome face filling the viewer. He looks like he’s changed his clothes and attempted to clean up a little bit. Even through the small hole, I can see the cocky smirk on his face and the bright twinkle in his emerald eyes. He looks like he stepped off the pages of some sexy cologne add.
Another deep breath in.
Disarming the alarm and turning all the locks, I open the door and just look at him. My eyes travel the length of his body, up to his face and back down again. His jeans are molded to his legs, cupping his impressive bulge and doing nothing to hide the fact that he is literally about to burst through the zipper. I lick my lips. I don’t mean to but when his strangled moan reaches my ears, I look back up to his face. His eyes are on fire, so brilliantly bright. He clears his throat and reaches down to adjust his pants.
“You keep looking at me like that and we won’t make it out the door, Princess.”
I’m so turned on right now that just the sound of his gravelly voice makes me squirm. I could probably come right now; all it would take would be one brush of his skin on mine.
“Serious as shit right now, Izzy. You keep looking at me like I’m the last drop of water left after a long-ass drought and I will take you right here in the doorway. Jesus Christ, I’m so fucking hard right now, I think I really could hammer nails.” He sounds angry but I’m pretty sure he’s more frustrated at our current location than he is mad that I am currently eye fucking him hard. “Shit, baby, I want you so fucking bad,” he whispers before pulling me into his arms. He bends down and nuzzles his nose into the crease of my neck, inhaling deep. “Smell so fucking good.”
I’ve been wearing the same perfume for years, ever since Axel bought me my first bottle of Light Blue. It has been something that, at times, I wasn’t even able to wear, but it was also something that gave me some strength with one inhale. I would remember Axel and what we shared all those years ago with just one whiff.
When I feel his hot, wet tongue start tracing my collarbone before making its way up to my ear, I am once again brought to my knees with the overwhelming hunger that takes over my system. We have got to get out of Maddox’s house. Now.
Pushing on his shoulders reluctantly, I open my mouth to speak but am halted when he brings his head up and softly presses his lips against mine. This isn’t a kiss like we shared earlier. That was full of lust and pent-up rapture. This kiss is full of promise—the slow, torturing kind. He takes his time, gently stroking his tongue against my own. With one last swipe, he pulls back and looks down at me with hooded eyes.
“Wow,” I sigh. “It gets better every time.” Even to my ears, I can hear the wonder in my tone.
It was always passionate between us as teenagers, but never with the knowledge of an adult’s sexuality. I think we both know deep down that whatever will come next will blow every single coupling we have had in the past together, and with others, out of the water.
“As much as I would love to drag you back into that bedroom and take you now, I want time to play. If I got started here, I would only have to stop when Locke got home. I want you alone in my house, where only my ears can
hear you scream.”
Oh boy.
“Where are your bags?” he questions.
I just mutely point to the two bags sitting on the kitchen table.
He laughs lightly before walking over and picking them up. I set the alarm and lock the door. Before I can pocket the key, Axel reaches over and takes it from my hand. “You won’t be needing that again, Princess. I’ll make sure he gets it back.” He winks, pockets the key, and reaches down to lace our fingers together.
I don’t even remember the walk to the elevator and through the lobby or how I got into his ridiculously high truck. One second we are still standing in Maddox’s living room, the next we are pulling into traffic and on the way to his house.
I’m sitting here thinking about the night to come when the sound of my phone ringing interrupts my steamy thoughts. Damn. Squirming in my seat, I look down at the display and smile when I see “Dee Calling” and her smiling face.
“Hey, you,” I answer, looking over at Axel out of habit. I have to remind myself that he isn’t Brandon and a phone call from Dee doesn’t even register on his radar.
“Hey back at ya! Aren’t you just a dirty little ho bag!?” she sings into my ear.
Jesus, I’m going to freaking kill Maddox.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” I hedge, figuring it’s best to just play dumb. Dee is going to burst over this new development. There is no telling just what she has heard either.
“Don’t you act like you don’t know what I’m talking about, missy! I had a visit from a tall, dark, and lickable man today. You might know him. He goes by the name Axel? Called me himself bright and freaking early, and I might add that he sounded way too smug for it being before my morning coffee! Anyhow, he called, asked me to wait a second before heading off to the office. He was coming by and wanted me to pack a bag. A big bag, Izzy. Now, want to tell me why AXEL would be calling me to ask for a BIG bag of your clothes?” Little shit is laughing at me. She is enjoying this way too much.
