by Carnal, MJ
I pull up to the front of the hospital and, without even shutting off the car, sprint over to her side and carry her inside.
Someone will move the car. If they don’t, then they can tow it. There is no way I’m leaving my girl.
They get us checked in and into a room quickly. Izzy is hooked up to a million different monitors and machines. I’m told that they all monitor her and our son, but I am too busy worrying about her to even pay attention to the nurses. They seem to think we have all the time in the world. Why isn’t anyone doing something? Anything!
We have been here for about an hour when she lets out the loudest tortured cry. The sound stops my heart, and I look around frantically for help. The nurses all spring into action and start shoving the bed around, turning on different machines and barking orders at me.
I hold Izzy’s hand and try to help her, but looking at her beautiful face breaking down in agony is almost too much.
“You’re doing great, Princess. He’ll be here soon.”
She tries to give me a smile but it’s cut off when she lets out another scream.
“You’re fully dilated, ma’am. Let’s have a birthday.”
Izzy starts pushing at the doctor’s commands and I start slowly dying inside. My girl… I can’t handle her being in this much pain. My mental distress for her continues, but I try to hide it and be the support she needs. I rub her forehead with the wet cloth one nurse thrusted into my hands. I curl my arm around her back and help her lean into her pushes, holding hold her leg open with my other arm.
Thirty minutes later, at the end of a long push, I hear the most magical sound I have ever heard. My son is taking his first breath and letting out a loud, healthy cry.
“Would you like to cut the cord, Daddy?” the doctor asks.
I nod my head lamely and take the scissors. The nurses take him off to the side after I finish.
I look down at Izzy and kiss her forehead. She meets my gaze and, with tears in her eyes, says, “Hey, Daddy.” That is all it takes for me to drop a few tears of my own.
“Thank you, Princess. You’ve made me the luckiest man in the universe.”
We both watch in awe as the nurses weigh and measure our son and bundle him up tight in a blue blanket. His head is covered with a tiny blue hat. They place him into Izzy’s arms. Seeing her there with our son makes my skin break out in chills and my heart speeds up.
“Perfect,” she whispers. I look down into her face and think that she is not wrong.
He has a tiny round and chubby face. His lips are small and form a perfect bow. He makes little mewing sounds and puckers his lips, showing off a dimple in his right cheek. I lift the cap up and see a full head of jet-black hair.
“He looks just like you, Axel.” And he does.
We sit there until the doctor is done cleaning her up and the nurses start leaving to go make another couple as happy as we are.
This moment right here makes every day we were apart worth it.
Complete. I feel complete.
Leaning down, kissing my son softly on his small head, and breathing in his baby scent has me choking on my emotions again.
“We’ve been waiting on you. Just as perfect as we knew you would be. Love you, little man.” I kiss him once more before moving my lips to Izzy’s. I kiss her twice before kissing away each tear that has escaped her eyes. “Love you so much, Princess.”
~~*
(Izzy)
Watching Axel fall in love with his son is the most beautiful moment.
“I love you too, baby. So much.”
Axel has refused to leave our side to go tell everyone that the baby is here. We have just been moved into our private room when they start filing in. I’m impressed they made it that long. I’m starting to get tired, but the desire for our friends to meet our son keeps me from falling asleep.
“Oh my lord! Look at him! He is perfect!” Dee says with an excited whisper.
Congratulations are thrown around, and we enjoy sharing this moment with our family. Each and every one of the most important people in our lives is here. I am watching Axel hold our son close to his chest and thinking that he looks like a little football in Axel’s large arms when I hear someone ask what his name is. Axel looks over at me with a smile and gives a small shake of his head.
I look over and meet each one of our friends’ faces when I announce, “Nathaniel Gregory Reid.” When I reach Greg’s eyes, the tears gathering in the corners shock me for a second.
He walks over and gives me a small kiss on the top of my head. “Thank you, baby girl. That means the world…means the world to me.”
I smile at him and wipe my eyes dry.
Axel comes over and hands me Nate before climbing into the bed next to me. We all sit there and enjoy the moment until the baby starts to cry. Axel looks worried, but I lean over and whisper in his ear that it’s time to feed him. With some quick (Maddox, Beck, and Coop) and reluctant (Dee and Greg) goodbyes, our family leaves and Axel comes back over to me. He puts his arm around my shoulders and I lean into his body, settling Nate so that Axel can look down into his angelic face with me.
When I settle Nate on my breast and feel him give the first timid pull, I smile down at him and think to myself that fate finally loves me. Fate is welcoming me into her arms and shining her bright rays of love onto our family.
It doesn’t take me long to drift off to sleep, safe in Axel’s embrace with the gift of our love in my arms.
THE END
Keep reading for some deleted scenes from Axel.
Naming the Baby
“Are you happy?”
The question seems so bizarre coming from her lips. Does she really doubt my happiness?
“You must be out of your mind, Princess, if you for one second think I’m not.”
I look up and meet her green eyes from where my head is resting on her lap. My fingers are still caressing her swollen stomach, every few seconds getting a solid kick in return. Almost as if my boy is letting me know that he feels me.
Every time I look at her and see her body changing with our child, I almost lose my mind. It feels like my heart might burst. This is all part of the dream we shared all those years ago, but I would be lying if I said I wasn’t terrified that it will all just vanish.
“Seriously, Axel. I can’t help but wonder what life would be like if we hadn’t lost all those years. I almost feel guilty being as happy as I am, knowing how much we lost.”
Without breaking eye contact, I fold myself up and take her face between my hands. “Izzy, no doubt we were dealt a shit hand…to start with. But we found each other again. Nothing, and I mean nothing, can take this happiness from us. Me, you, our son, and any other children we have.”
I press my lips against hers briefly, but with just enough strength that she starts pulling me more firmly against her. We both laugh when we feel our son kick. His strong kicks against my stomach feel a hell of a lot different against my hands.
“Come here, Princess. This little man needs a name.” I go to pull her towards me but pause when I see her bite her lip. “Izzy? What’s going on up there?” I tap her temple lightly and smile, knowing that whatever is rolling around up there has been weighing heavy.
“I’ve been thinking…” She trails off and looks away. “I don’t just want to name him anything. I don’t know how to explain it, Ax. I want his name to have meaning. Something strong that will always remind us of how blessed we are. Does that make sense?”
God, I love this woman.
“Yeah, babe. I get it. I’ve been thinking the same thing. Hear me out, okay?” She nods her head a few times, her eyes shining brightly with excitement. “The other day, I was looking up names and came across one I think will be perfect.” I pause for a second and wait for her nod of approval before continuing. “So, I found one of those sites that have baby names and their meanings. There was one that means ‘God given,’ and babe, with everything we’ve been through and overcome, if th
is little guy isn’t a sign of God giving us one hell of a blessing, I don’t know what is.”
In all honesty, the second I saw the name, I knew—that is my son’s name. That is it. I always knew that Izzy was my blessing, my reward for my shit life. But this little miracle we made? That is OUR blessing. Our gift from God for overcoming and surviving everything he threw at us.
“Okay, well? What is it?” She is literally vibrating with excitement. She gets it. I shouldn’t have doubted she would.
“Nathaniel,” I reply and wait. It’s a few seconds’ worth of her blinking her watery eyes at me rapidly before she lets out a breathy echo, repeating my word.
“It’s perfect, Ax. Our gift—Nathaniel.”
“One more, babe. His middle name. I don’t think I need to explain this one but I will. For too many years, I wasn’t there to protect you. I wasn’t there to pick up the pieces when you needed me either. But Greg was. Baby, I don’t know any other way to honor that than to give Nathaniel one hell of a namesake. What do you think—Nathaniel Gregory?”
At this point, I doubt she even registers my words. Tears are falling fast and she is sobbing quietly. But after all of that, her smile is blinding. Yeah, my girl got me.
“Nathaniel Gregory Reid. I love it. Our son, our gift, and our blessing,” She whispers between choked sobs.
“Love you, Princess.”
“Love you too, Axel.”
The Dock Revisited
“Baby?”
I’ve been searching through the house for the last fifteen minutes, looking for my boys. I swear Axel does this just to see me laugh when I finally find them.
“Axel Reid, you come out now… I missed my boys today.” Shaking my head in fake exasperation, I continue down the stairs with my soft laughter trailing behind me. “Nate baby? Mama’s home. Where is my handsome little man?”
I trip over a few of Nate’s toys and almost take my head off when I slip on his new favorite motorcycle from Maddox. Axel must have brought it into the kitchen to keep Nate busy while he was fixing lunch. I would be willing to bet he skipped Nate’s naptime—again—so that he could keep playing with him.
My man, he loves his son.
I stop my search for a few moments to pick up the blocks that are scattered all over the floor, before continuing my mission to find my men.
I walk through out the back door, looking around the deck. Our property is vast, so it takes me a second to scan the surroundings for them. The sun warms my skin and the reflection from the lake blinds me momentarily. Now that Nate is mobile, we have been spending more and more afternoons enjoying springtime in Georgia. Today is no different. The sky is a dazzling blue, with not one cloud in the sky. The flowers we planted along the pebbled path that leads down to the dock are in full bloom.
Everything about this once barren house screams life.
Our home.
A shiver of déjà vu wraps around my spine and whispers up my back when I see movements down at the end of the dock. Sitting down with his legs dangling in the lake is my Axel. His bronze, naked back is the only thing I can see from my angle, but judging by his soft swaying, my little man is nestled tight in his arms.
I follow the pebbled path, slipping off my shoes before continuing down the wooden planks. I make sure to keep my steps slow and steady—careful to keep them unnoticeable. I’m only a few steps behind them when his voice reaches my ears.
“… and then your mommy made me the luckiest man in the world. Never thought my heart could get bigger until she told me you were coming. You don’t know this now, but one day you will. Your mom… She thinks she’s lucky to have us, but it’s the other way around my little man. Blessed to the max. So blessed, Nate.”
My foot hits a loose board that moans in protest, earning me Axel’s attention. “Damn, I was trying to be sneaky,” I mumble under my breath.
His smile is blinding in the late afternoon sun, his happiness is infections, and the best part is that I helped put it there.
“Hey, Princess. Have fun on your search?” His teasing tone causes my suppressed laughter to bubble out.
Shaking my head, I crouch down and press my front tight against his warm back. My legs don’t even come close to falling off the side, but I can still wrap my arms around his powerful frame.
I shiver when my skin touches his.
“Hey, you. I missed my boys today.” I kiss his back before looking over his shoulder at Nate. “Ax, you can’t keep letting him chew on that! It’s so dirty!” Reaching around, I gently remove Axel’s dog tags from Nate’s chubby fingers and gummy mouth. “There’s mama’s handsome little man.”
Nate starts squirming in Axel’s hold to reach me, clearly growing impatient with his father’s slow transfer.
“One of these days he’ll be happy just hanging out with his old man.”
“Don’t be such a baby,” I tease, “You know he loves his daddy. His mommy just happens to have his endless food supply.”
Axel shifts his position so he can pull me into his lap—holding both of us within his arms. The instant rush of safety and love that always pours out of him wraps around us, blanketing me in the world’s best feeling.
I cradle Nate in my arms before bringing my shirt up so that he can reach my breast. He doesn’t waste a second before latching on. I lie my head down against Axel’s shoulder, and he brings his hand up to caresses Nate’s soft cheek.
“I love you, baby, but right now, I’m insanely jealous of our boy.”
“I can tell. And if your jealousy doesn’t stop poking me in the rear, I’m taking our boy inside.”
The vibrations of his laughter tickle my skin before his lips press lightly against my neck.
“I missed you today, Princess,” he whispers against my skin, “What kept you away for so long?”
“Ax, I’ve been gone for three hours,” I laugh.
“Three hours too long. I thought we decided weekends were spent at home—just us.”
“We did, but you know I had to take care of some wedding stuff and Dee is always so busy that this was the only time we could get together. Then Greg came over and we just lost track of time.” I turn my head, making sure he really isn’t upset. Seeing the small smile on his full lips puts me at ease.
“I got it, babe. That doesn’t mean I don’t miss you when you aren’t around. Plus Nate missed you so much he wanted to skip his nap and wait up.”
“Oh? He came up with that all on his own, huh?” I laugh.
“Yup. He said he would rather pass his time building block towers.”
“Ax, baby, you are ridiculous sometimes,” I rush past my giggles.
“I know. So, you ready to be my wife yet, Princess?” His question warms my ears right before he nips my lobe lightly between his teeth. “You ready to finally be all mine?”
“I’m already yours and you know that.” The argument, even playful as it always is, seems to be a daily conversation.
“Not until your last name matches mine and Nate’s.” His voice is firm, and I know he’s losing his patience.
“I don’t need to have your last name to prove anything. Especially not that my heart is yours.”
“But you will,” he stresses with all playfulness gone from his tone.
I know this is a sore subject, but we both agreed that it would be best to wait until Nate was born. Then we started planning and things just started taking longer. With Nate just turning nine months old, I know he’s getting frustrated.
I ignore him and lift Nate up to my shoulder.
“Da-da.”
“See, I told you. He only wants me to be his live-in walking refrigerator!” I joke.
We both laugh and enjoy a few quiet moments sitting down on the dock. It’s times like this when I realize just how lucky we are. Axel’s right—we are truly blessed. Time spent with my soon-to-be husband and this perfect product of our love really brings that home.
I shift a now sleeping Nate in my arms and snuggle mor
e slowly into Axel. His strong arms tighten slightly, shifting us to a more comfortable position.
“Princess, I need you to be mine.” His softly spoken words break the silence.
“I know, Axel. I know. That’s what took me so long today. Dee and I finished everything up. Booked, paid for, and confirmed. Can you wait just one more month?”
“Izzy, what’s one more month when we’ve waited for this many years?” I can tell he isn’t thrilled but still happy-ish knowing that it’s going to be soon.
“Ax? The day I become yours will be right up there with the birth of our son as the best day of my life. I can’t wait, baby.”
His arms go solid for a second before he speaks. “I know.” The smug tone in his voice erases all signs of his earlier impatience.
Cocky bastard.
God, I love him.
Connect with Harper Sloan to keep up to date with the next book in the Corps Security series:
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Other books by Harper Sloan:
Cage (Corps Security, Book 2) - https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00F28ICBE
Beck (Corps Security, Book 3) - http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00HHBU5JG
Uncaged (Corps Security, Book 3.5) - http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00IWSNSJ2
Coming Soon:
Cooper (Corps Security, Book 4) Summer 2014
Locke (Corps Security, Book 5) Winter 2014
Alluring
TURMOIL
Book 1 Bayou Stix
