by Carnal, MJ
I thought my heart was dead. I thought I was empty… but after tonight, after seeing her again, it’s beating. Painfully so, but at least it’s beating again. It’s telling me that no matter what, it still wants what it’s always wanted. It wants what completes it, the reason it beats… it wants Lexi. I want Lexi.
I’m Jude Delecroix, dammit, and I am going to do whatever it takes to figure this out. Because now that I’m being honest with myself again, now that I feel alive again, instead of just existing, I’m a man on a mission. And my mission is to get Alexia Sloane to fall in love with me again… only this time… this time she’s not walking away. She’s mine. She’s always been mine, and this time, dammit this time, I’m fucking keeping her.
With that mantra flying through my veins, I start my bike back up and head back towards town, back towards the woman who will once again be in my life.
As I turn onto the River Road… I notice the sign.
Time to play hardball.
Chapter Seven
Lexi
I awaken to bright light and somehow I’m back in my bed with my sheets spread over me. I sigh, Erik.
I feel something in my hand and look to see what it is. The photo of Jude and me. I never let it go last night… not even in my sleep. I look at it, smile slightly, and sit up with new determination.
I’m 26 years old. I’m a successful business owner and a responsible, mature adult. Things will be normal with Jude and me. He’s in town again. He was a very important part of my life for a very long time. Avoiding him is impossible in a town this size, so starting today, I’m going to be the mature, responsible adult everyone knows. I’m going to talk to Jude. Things may be awkward, but we have to find a way to be friends again. It’s time to forgive the past and move on. I need to move on.
Lord, please let me move on.
Besides, it’s not like he’s going to stay here, so I can certainly handle it and keep my emotions under control for the short time he’s in town.
Suddenly there’s a knock at the bedroom door and a strong hand holding a cup of coffee appears around it. “Lex, you awake, love? Are you decent?”
“Would it matter if I wasn’t, E?” I say with a giggle. “It’s not like you’ve never seen me naked, or like you’ll jump me!”
He pushes the door open and I take in his mussed up, sleep hair and the bristle on his face. He’s only wearing a pair of low riding lounge pants, and those Men’s Health magazine abs and chest are on full display. He really is mouthwatering. I start to laugh and once I start, I can’t stop.
He hands me the cup of coffee, then strikes a pose with a smirk because he’s noticed me checking out the goods, and says, “Something amusing, Miss Sloane?”
This makes me laugh even harder. So I grab my stomach to try to contain myself and manage to get out between laughs, “No, E, not at all. Just me. I’m a piece of work that’s all. Just taking in your male perfection and thinking if things were different, and you were into girls, that I’d jump your bones. Cause baby, it’s not even fair that you look like that and you’re in my bedroom with me in my skivvies, and you, with everything on display. What a fucking display it is too. But yeah, so not fair.” I laugh again and stick my tongue out at him.
He grins and jumps on the bed with me, catching himself with those tree trunk arms before he crushes me, and starts tickling me. “Well, Miss Sloane, I’m flattered that you find my total package so amazingly awesome. Well not my total package,” he corrects. He kisses my head and hugs me close and I burrow into him. “Lex, if I was straight, you’d be in trouble. You are beautiful. I don’t think you even realize how gorgeous you really are. You always have been and you just get better with age. You captivate people.”
I sigh and roll onto my back, and he places his arm behind my head as we both look at my ceiling. He picks up the photo that has fallen to the mattress in our playfulness and gives it a deep look. I see him looking at it and the worry lines between his brows as he lets out a long sigh. “I lied. I don’t hate him, E,” I whisper.
“I know, love. Believe me, I know.” He replies still looking at the photo.
He sits up and pulls me into a sitting position as well, stretching his legs on either side of mine and arranging me between them, with my back against his chest. “Do you miss him, E? I know that when we split, you chose me. You loved him too. Do you miss him?”
He places the photo on my lap and looks straight ahead while answering my question. “Honestly, yes, I miss him. I miss my friend. I miss the guy I grew up with and loved like a brother. I miss the guy he was when he finally took his head out of his ass and admitted his feelings for you. I miss the three of us. And I didn’t choose you. I love you, and you were hurting and needed me. I swore to you, and to him, that I’d always protect you. You and me against the world, remember?”
“I remember. Ok, well enough of this… we can’t change the past. What’s done is done, and we’ve both done ok. But it’s a busy day and Java and Sweeties isn’t going to run itself. I have a long day of baking ahead of me preparing for the Masons’ wedding, and I plan on helping you in the front today too, so get your sexy ass out of my bed and get dressed.”
Erik raises a brow at my bossy tone and says, “Yes Ma’am, Boss. So, you’re really ok?”
“I am ok. Something has to change and I plan on doing what I can to move on with Jude. Things will never be like they were, but we have to coexist and it’s time to forgive him. And smartass, I am not your boss! We’re partners 50/50.”
He hops off my bed and gives me a salute. “Ok, as long as you’re certain that’s what you want to do, I’m behind you. You know that. Now hop to it! You’ve got half an hour before this train is leaving the station.”
Two hours later, I’m in my element. I’m covered in flour in the kitchen of Java and Sweeties. I pop the last cake pan for the six tier wedding cake into the oven, set the timer, and go to the sink to wash my hands. I take a quick look in the mirror to make sure I’m presentable and head to the shop to help Erik out with the customers, and make sure everything is running smoothly.
As usual, we’re packed. A couple of chairs are empty in the shop, but for the most part, the place is buzzing. People are talking quietly, pecking away at laptops, writing in notebooks, or drinking their coffee.
A few of our regulars are enjoying their muffins, cakes, cookies, and sweet treats from the bakery display case. I decide to replenish the display after asking Erik if he needed help making the cappuccinos and lattes. He reassured me that he and the other baristas had it under control.
On my third trip to the display case from the kitchen, the door opens and I feel the air suddenly charge. I finish the petit four display I’ve been working on, before wiping my hands, and slowly raising my head. My eyes meet and hold uncertain hazel eyes.
I take in his appearance. Today he’s wearing regular jeans that hug his thighs, an old LSU t-shirt, showing off the now full sleeves of tattoos on both arms, and a beat up LSU ball cap. His aviators are sitting on top of the crown of his cap.
“Hello, Lex. Good morning. Everything looks wonderful.”
I take a second to breathe and swallow because my throat suddenly feels dry. “Good morning, Jude. Everything is wonderful. Is there something I can get for you?”
That was good. See I can be calm. Shit! Who I am kidding? I’m not calm! My heart is racing and my hands are shaking like a leaf. At least he can’t see them. Thank God this display case is so high. Wow, he looks amazing, like he just stepped out of the pages of Rolling Stone magazine. Shit, did I get all the flour off? Did I miss some on my face? Is that why he’s looking at me like this? Ugh, this is so unnerving.
Jude gives a slight shake of his head, like he’s having an internal debate as well. He looks down at the display case and is suddenly distracted. “Are those red velvet brownies? Wow! Do you make all of this stuff, Lex?”
I hear the words coming out of his mouth, but it’s as if there’s a delayed connecti
on between my ears and my brain. Finally they register. Thankfully it’s only been a few seconds, and not the minutes it’s felt like. “Um yes. Red velvet brownies with my special cream cheese icing. And yes, I do make all of this. I bake everything here,” I say with pride.
“This place is amazing, Lex. I mean it,” he says looking around, taking the room in. “It looks like business is good. You should be proud. This was your dream and you did it.” He clears his throat. “I’ll take three of those brownies and a black coffee.”
“Three? You want three brownies? These are pretty big. And rich. And you now drink coffee?”
He smiles sheepishly, showing me a glimpse of the old Jude, my Jude. “Yeah well, um, red velvet is still my weakness. I could make myself sick with it. And, um, no. Not actually. I still hate the stuff. But this is a coffee shop, right?”
I’m secretly thrilled. I have never understood my need to always have the red velvet brownies on hand, but I now understand that it’s because of Jude. They’re just brownies, but they are his favorite and by always having them here, it’s kind of like having a piece of him here with me.
Oh boy. I am so screwed.
I laugh lightly and smile back. “Yes, this is in fact a coffee house. But we do serve other things. Tea, milk, water, juice, smoothies… Have you ever actually been in a coffee house?”
Well look at that. Jude Delecroix and I are talking to each other and smiling. This is surreal, but I kind of like it. Whoa girl. Down… Let’s not get ahead of ourselves. Breathe, just breathe.
I cannot believe it, Jude blushes. “Yes, I actually have been in a coffee shop. Honestly, I don’t know why I said that. I’m out of my comfort zone here and, well, I’ll have water. Would you um, would you join me for a bit?”
Oh my God! What did he just say? I’m hallucinating. There is no way in hell he just asked me to join him, is there? I’m projecting what I want to hear and not hearing what he actually said, right?
“Um… what?”
Jude’s cheeks get pinker and he starts shuffling his feet from side to side. “Well, I asked if you wanted to join me for a bit, for a cup of coffee. Well, you can have coffee. I’ll just have my water. Not that you have to drink coffee, you can drink whatever you want. I mean if you want to. Join me that is. You don’t have to. Shit. What I meant was will you join me for a cup of coffee, Lex?”
“You want to have coffee? With me? Right now?” I sputter out.
“Yes. If you have time, I want to have a cup of coffee with you. Here. Right now. So, what do you say?”
“Oh, um, well ok. I have a little time. Uh, take a seat and I’ll grab your water and brownies and meet you at the table, ok?” My heart is racing and I can’t quite hear around the buzzing in my head. But I somehow manage to gather three brownies and water for Jude. I grab a stick of biscotti and a café au lait for myself, and manage to get to the table without falling on my face.
<><><>
Jude
She said yes. Hell yes! She said yes. She’s having coffee with me. I cannot believe I sounded like a blubbering 15 year old just now, but she said yes. Things are going to work out. I didn’t think she’d say yes. So, we’ll have coffee and then before I leave, I’ll ask her to dinner. Tonight, I have the rehearsal for the show, but I can meet her for dinner after that. Yeah, that’s what I’ll do; only maybe I’ll pick her up. Yes, that’s it; I’ll pick her up on my bike and take her to dinner. Things are going to work out and be different this time.
Lexi sets the brownies on the table between us and hands me my water before taking her seat across from me. I look over at the counter, where Erik is semi-glowering at me and looking at Lex like he wants to grab her and run. I nod my head at him to tell him to relax. He grimaces, but nods back and with one more look at us, starts making another coffee.
Lexi nervously takes a sip of her coffee and it’s still hot, so she drops the cup as she burns her mouth. A little spills onto the table. “Are you ok? Did you hurt yourself?” I exclaim as I grab some napkins from the dispenser and mop up the spill.
She taps her mouth and looks at me, “I’m ok. I just drank too soon. But I’m fine. Here, let me clean up my mess.” And she grabs for the napkins.
She grabs my hand holding the napkins and electricity shoots straight from her hand into mine. We both freeze and look up. Our eyes lock and it’s like we’re the only two people in the room.
We stay that way seemingly forever, both just staring, neither moving our hands. I watch her breathing get erratic and her pupils start to dilate with lust. It feels like someone is grabbing my throat, making it impossible to draw a full breath. My blood starts rushing through my veins and my hand is molten hot where hers is lying on top of it. I see her watching my eyes and the moment she notices my own pupils start to expand.
I want to grab her and throw her onto the table right in the middle of the coffee shop. I want to undo her skirt and rip off her panties. I want to plunge my throbbing dick into her again and again and stake my claim. The hell with everyone else, I want her. I want her now. I want what’s mine.
The spell is suddenly broken as a hand slaps down on the table in front of us.
“Sooooo, what’s going on here? Last night you punch him in the face and scream that you hate him after he disrespects me and my boyfriend… and this morning you’re having a coffee date? What exactly are you up to, Rock Star?” grates out the very pissed off best friend of Lexi.
I swallow and shake my head to clear out the sensual haze, “Right. I’m sorry about that.” I turn sincere eyes towards her. “Seriously, I shouldn’t have done that. It was unacceptable and insulting, and I apologize. Can we start over?” I hold out my hand to her and she looks at it as if it’s a poisonous snake. “I’m Jude. Jude Delecroix.”
Rolling her eyes and giving me a disgusted look she says, “Are you fucking serious right now?” She looks at Lexi with exasperation. “Is he serious right now?”
“Of course you’re Jude Delecroix. What? Do I live under a fucking rock?!?! Apology accepted; however let’s get something straight, Jude Delecroix.” She drags my name out as she says it. “I do not give a flying fuck if you are a sexy as sin rock god who I may or may not have imagined naked once. Or twice. God you’re hot! Ok, I said it, but see here, Mister! That girl is my best friend and if you hurt her… if you so much as make her feel the impulse to smack you again, I will personally unleash my bat shit crazy on you and your world will in fact forever be rocked, because I will break your ass and then throw you in the swamp with the gators. Got it?” She flips her hair and smiles deviously into my eyes.
I’m speechless, but oddly I like this chick. I smile at her, a real smile that reaches my eyes and makes the laugh lines and my dimple come out. “Got it, Cujo.” Then I look at Lexi, really look at her and speak directly to her. “I promise you I will not hurt you. I will do everything within my power not to hurt you.”
Lexi audibly swallows and looks away from me.
“Awesome. By the way, I’m Bradi.” And she winks.
“Well it’s nice to meet you, Bradi. I’m certain I’ll see you around.”
With that, Lexi brings her head back to me and gives me a small smile.
“Oh you will indeed. Lexi and I will be at the concert tomorrow night. In the front row. Ogling your hotness.”
Lexi’s cheeks burst into color and she does the lip biting thing that used to drive me crazy. Lustful thoughts about that mouth return, but I beat them down… for now. “Is that a fact? Well how about I get you lovely ladies backstage passes? Lex? The guys will be happy to see you again, and backstage is a better seat than front row. You know, the best place to ogle my hotness is from backstage.” I can’t help teasing her.
“Works for me, Rock Star. Now I need to grab my coffee and get to the office. Just had to check on my girl. By the way, how’s the Mason wedding cake coming along?”
Lexi’s mouth drops open and a look of horror comes over her face. “Shit! The Mason weddin
g cake. Oh shit!” She jumps up from the table, knocking the chair backwards and runs into the kitchen.
Chapter Eight
Lexi
Oh shit. Oh shit. Please don’t let them be burnt. Shit! I was so wrapped up in Jude that I completely forgot about the cakes. But holy shit. Did that really just happen? Touching him was just like before. It was electric. I want to jump him. I want to crawl onto his lap and fuse my mouth to his, clashing our teeth together, and suck on his tongue. I need to kiss him until I can’t breathe. Or kiss him until I can breathe again. And I think he wanted me too. I saw it… his eyes told me he wanted me. Is it possible? Does he still want me?
Miraculously, the cakes are not too burnt. I can shave the bottoms and it will be fine. Thank God. That was four hours’ worth of work I would’ve had to start over.
Placing the cakes on the rack to cool, I fall back against the counter as I try to catch my breath and slow my racing heart.
My fists are clenched and I’m digging my nails into my palms trying to get my equilibrium back under control. Because all I really want to do is march back out there, to the middle of my shop, and climb onto him… and let him climb inside of me.
The urge to run my hands all over his body and explore the new tattoos with my fingers and tongue are so strong that the biting of my nails into my palm is literally the only thing stopping me.
The kitchen door opens, “Lex? Is everything ok?”
He’s in my kitchen before I can school my expression. He sees it all. Me holding myself against the counter, worrying my lip, digging my nails into my palms, my breasts rising and falling with my erratic breaths, and my eyes. He can clearly see the longing in my eyes.
His eyes mirror mine.
He freezes and we just watch each other. Our eyes are having the conversation we’re too chicken to attempt.
My pulse gets even more erratic and my panties are so wet they’re uncomfortable.
