by Carnal, MJ
I button my jeans and slip back into my boots as she zips her skirt and she turns around to face me. The moon’s glow is at her back and it looks like she’s a mirage, a vision, an ethereal creature. Then, she smiles and holds her hand out. I snap out of my trance and reach for her hand, intertwining her fingers with mine.
We hold hands, as we grab our uneaten food and head back through the house, turning off lights as we go. I lock up my house, my house, and help Lexi onto the bike and we head towards her house in the dark.
<><><>
Lexi
Jude pulls into my neighborhood and I wonder how he knows where Erik and I live. I haven’t told him. We’ve been silent and content for the 15 minutes it’s taken to get from Jude’s house to mine. He pulls onto my street and pulls into my driveway, behind my car, before cutting the engine.
Stepping off of the bike, he helps me up before removing our helmets and pulling me into his chest with his arms around me.
“Jude how did you know where I lived? I didn’t tell you.” I ask.
He looks away from me and at the cement of the driveway while he answers quietly. “I’ve known where you lived since you bought this house, Lex. I still know a lot of people who know you… I’ve kept up with what’s been going on in your life.”
I gasp. I’m shocked. “You’ve kept up with me? All these years? Why???”
He runs his thumb over my lips as he looks back at me. “Why do you think, Lex? Even when I hated you, I still had this need to know that you were ok. I never asked, but I was always told. And I savored that information.”
“Oh wow. I didn’t… I mean I never… Oh wow.” I can’t form a thought at the moment and I don’t know what I’m thinking about this information, so I do the only thing I do know I want to do. I wrap my arms around his waist, stand up on my tiptoes, and kiss him.
He meets my lips with his own and we kiss softly, sweetly, for a moment.
I open my mouth and run my tongue over his lips, centering on the spot I split last night with my fist. I gently run my tongue over the slight bump. He groans and opens his mouth and the kiss deepens.
I don’t know how long we kiss, but it’s probably awhile. We’re both breathless when we finally break apart. I lay my head on his chest and ask, “Where are you staying?”
“I don’t have furniture yet, and I didn’t know how long I was going to be looking for a house; so I have a suite at the Hilton Downtown.”
“Stay here. Tonight I mean. Stay the night. Here. With me.”
He looks deep into my eyes and considers my offer. “Are you sure? No sex remember? And what about Erik? He’s not going to like it.”
I roll my eyes at him and push him lightly in the chest. “Yes, I’m sure. I didn’t offer to have sex with you. I offered to let you sleep in my bed. It’s none of Erik’s business. I’m a grown woman and you’re a grown man. Besides, he’ll get over it. But my feet hurt and I need to shower, so are you coming in or not?”
Smiling at me with something like adoration in his eyes, he replies, “Yes, Lex. I’m coming in with you. But I’m pretty dirty. Do I get a shower? And if Erik tries to murder me in my sleep, I’m counting on you to protect me!”
Smirking I grab his hand and pull him towards the house. “Hell yes you need to shower! You aren’t getting into my 1600 thread count Egyptian cotton sheets like you are now. And yes oh weak one, I shall protect you from the strong knight by shielding you with my delicate body if he tries to maim you.”
He laughs out loud and slaps my ass, “You’re such a smartass! What am I going to do with you?”
<><><>
Jude
I’m spending the night with Lexi. God yes. I get to hold her in my arms all night. Maybe tonight I’ll finally sleep soundly. Eight years of insomnia is too damn long.
The house is dark and quiet, as Lexi unlocks the door and leads me through the living room, flipping off the lamps that Erik has left on for her, and we head down a hall to her bedroom.
My shoulders relax as I realize I’ve escaped another confrontation with Erik. I know he and I need to talk and I need to let him know my intentions, but I’m really hoping it doesn’t come to blows.
I’m a lover not a fighter, and as much as I do love and respect him, even after he abandoned me, I know when it comes to Lexi… I won’t back down.
Chapter Thirteen
Lexi
I lead Jude into my room, flip on the light, and close the door with my foot before kicking off my shoes. He’s been oddly quiet since we’ve come in. I hope he hasn’t changed his mind. I really want to sleep in his arms tonight.
It’s been eight years since I’ve spent the night with a man. Well other than Erik and that is strictly platonic of course.
Jude has one shoulder propped against my door and he’s looking around my room. Clearing my throat and swallowing to moisten my suddenly dry mouth, I attempt to speak.
I can’t speak. I can’t do anything but stare at Jude. He’s so exquisite. And he’s here… in my house… in my room.
His blonde hair is a little longer than before and he wears it spiked now. The purple tips are now a lighter shade of purple, but I like it. I like it on him. It suits him.
His eyebrows are two shades darker than his hair, making them more brown than blonde. His eyes are the same crystal clear hazel and I remember how they change depending on his mood and his clothing.
He has more piercings in his ears than the single silver hoops I remember. There are two studs in his right ear and a silver hoop at the top, through the cartilage; while his left ear has two studs and a hoop.
His nose is the same, perfectly straight with the sexy dip on the end. His jaw and chin have a perfect five o’clock shadow of the same brown as his brows, which bring attention to his pink lips. The top one has a perfect bow while the bottom is nice and full, perfect for kissing.
His neck is strong; his shoulders are broad while his build is slim. His faded grey LSU t-shirt hugs his defined chest and tapered waist. His forearms, visible beneath the sleeves of his shirt are now covered in full tattoo sleeves all the way to his wrists, whereas before he only had a few tattoos on each arm. It’s like a continuous piece of art on both arms. His jeans hang low on his narrow waist and hug his groin and thighs. The outline of his manhood is clearly visible, even when soft. His legs look like they continue on for a mile until they meet his black-booted feet.
He’s mouthwatering. And… he’s mine?
I trail my gaze back up his body and my eyes meet his lust filled gaze. He’s just watched me undress him with my eyes. My gaze drops back to his groin and it’s obvious his cock is no longer flaccid.
I swallow again and meet his gaze.
“Like what you see, Lex?” he murmurs huskily.
I have to swallow again to make sure I can speak.
I nod my head. “Yes. Very much. You’re beautiful, Jude.”
“Beautiful? I’m a man baby. I’m not beautiful. You are beautiful. But I like that you like looking at me. I like the desire I see in your eyes and the desire I smell coming from you. No, I love that you seem as enraptured with me as I can’t help but be with you. But I meant it…. S… l… o... w… baby.”
“You don’t want to fuck me, Jude?”
“Of course I want to fuck you, Lex! I want to throw you on that bed,” he says, pointing at my bed, “and bury my throbbing dick in you. I want to slam into you balls deep over and over until you feel nothing but me. Until you can’t think of anything but me. I want to make you scream my name as you cum, and then I want to fuck you again and again until you can’t walk and pass out from the intensity of my loving. But I won’t. Not right now. Not tonight. I will take you to bed, but when I do, I want it to be more than fucking. So much more. It is so much more. We’ll get there; but right now…,” his teeth are clenched and he’s breathing in through his mouth and out of his nose, “Right now, we’re going to shower. And then you’re going to curl up in my arms and we’re going to
go to sleep. We are not going to rush this, Lexi. This is more than sex between us and I want to take our time. I want to do it right. Okay?”
My stomach clenches at his words. I feel lightheaded. He’s telling me I mean something to him. He’s telling me he cares and he wants to cherish me… if I wasn’t already in love with him before, I am now. He’s Jude… My Jude. My heart.
I breathe deeply and take his hand. “Ok Jude. We’re going to take it slow.”
I open the door to my bathroom and turn on the light as we undress and get ready to shower…
Together… Jude and I… Please God give me strength.
<><><>
Jude
Lexi and I are in her home. In her bathroom. We’re about to shower together. I crave the intimacy.
She turns on the water to let it warm up, then turns towards me and shakes her hair out, running her fingers through it, trying to sort out the tangled waves. She’d pulled it back before she put my spare helmet on and the wind from the ride has it tangled.
I watch her. Not touching, just taking everything in.
She keeps her eyes locked on me and slowly starts to unbutton her shirt. As she gets to the last one, she pulls the shirt from her shoulders and lets it caress her arms as it slides down before falling to the floor. Then, she bites her lip and unzips her skirt. I can hear the zipper as it slides down and once loose, she pushes it to the floor where it pools. She stands there in nothing but her pink lace bra with her breasts spilling out and the black lace Bayou Stix thong I gave her; her hair is falling around her shoulders and down her back. Her eyes are huge, luminous pools of amber.
She’s a goddess. No woman has ever looked as good in our panties. She could be our model, but then I’d have to kill everyone who saw her in them.
“Like what you see, Jude?” she asks coyly, using my own words against me.
“God, yes baby. You are so beautiful. So fucking beautiful.” I take two steps across the bathroom and I’m in front of her. “Turn around. Let me help you.”
I wait for her response.
She turns around…presenting me with her back.
I gather her hair in my hands and brush every piece of it over her shoulder, where I can see it cradling her breasts in the pink cups in the mirror. I can’t help it, I have to touch her. Kissing both shoulders and then her spine, I unclasp her bra slowly and watch her response in the bathroom mirror as I slowly inch her bra down her arms, exposing her breasts to the now steamy bathroom air.
Watching our reflections, I reach around to cup her breasts in my palms and I notice the contrast in our skin. Her pale, milky skin against my darker olive complexion. Squeezing, flicking, and pinching her nipples, I place an open mouthed kiss on the back of her exposed neck. She shudders against me, moaning as she leans back into my chest. Her eyes are heavy and she’s watching my erotic play in the mirror.
Pinching her nipples one more time, I trail my hands back down her stomach, over her waist and hook my large hands into the sides of the black lace before gently pushing it down. They catch on the swell of her hips. I bend down, trailing my tongue down the center of her spine until I reach the dimples at the top of her ass. I nip each dimple before laving it with my tongue to soothe the area.
She’s breathing so hard she’s panting. Leaving the top of her ass alone, my lips trail over her sweet cheeks, and I find the top of the thong with my mouth. Using my teeth, I bite the lace and pull them the rest of the way down. My nose brushes against her sex.
Her smell is so intoxicating. My head is spinning. I look up at her and she’s looking down at me with so much want in her eyes.
She’s completely exposed to my view. Finally naked in front of me. Again. Thank you God! She’s so provocative.
I grin and stand up straight, before kicking off my boots and reaching for the snap of my jeans.
She’s just staring at me in a daze of unfulfilled lust.
I drop my jeans and boxer briefs and they hit the floor with a soft swoosh, my cock is jutting out towards my belly proudly. Its glistening tip is rubbing my bellybutton as she comes out of her daze.
I remove my socks and reach for the back of my shirt to pull it over my head, but she stops my movement with her whispered, “No, Jude. Let me. Please.”
I drop my arms, moving my hands to the side to show my submission.
She reaches over and grabs the hem of my shirt, idly pulling it up my chest and over my head, letting it dangle from her fingers for a moment, before releasing it to fall to the floor.
Her eyes are raking over the planes of my arms and chest, as her fingers trace the tattoos she’s never seen before. I feel her fingers tense and hear her gasp as she spots the ink covering my heart.
Her eyes fly to mine.
<><><>
Lexi
Oh my God… Oh my God… What is that? How long has he had that? It’s not what I think it is. It can’t be. Is it?
My fingers are pressing against a tattoo he did not have eight years ago. My mind is racing, trying to understand what it is I’m looking at. Trying to figure out what it could mean.
I look up and he’s watching me.
I start to trace the outline of the tattoo directly over the center of his heart, as I whisper brokenly. “What is this, Jude? When did you get this?”
“I’ve had it for seven and a half years, Lexi. What does it look like?”
Shaking my head to clear the fog that is trying to descend on my brain I look at the tattoo again, taking in the details. Over his heart is a bright, colorful flaming microphone. It’s beautiful and the flames are magical. But the part that has me speechless, the part that I’m having trouble understanding, is the pink Gerber daisy that is wrapped around the base of the microphone.
“Seven and a half years… seven and a half years.” Tears are falling from my eyes now and I’m still tracing the tattoo.
Seven and a half years ago we were not together. But this tattoo, the pink daisy in this tattoo, is very obviously a representation of me. “Why? Why do you have this Jude?”
“Why? Why… Because I had to have a piece of you with me. As a reminder. Of what we had. Of our love, Lex. I didn’t understand it when I got it, but something made me get it. Made me get this tattoo. I went in just to get the microphone… for ME. But once I got there, I made the artist add the daisy. Something was telling me that the tattoo wasn’t complete without it. So I got it. And here it is. I got the tattoo for you, Lex.”
Tears are streaming down my face.
This is just too much. I’m sobbing into his chest. “But WHY? After everything… After I… After you… I don’t understand.”
He kisses my head and tries to sooth my shaking by rubbing my back.
“Shhhhh. Stop, Lex. It doesn’t matter. None of it matters anymore. Forward ok, Baby. We’re going forward, not backward.” He’s peppering my head with kisses as he says it.
I… Love… Him.
<><><>
Jude
Lexi is sobbing in my arms. The woman I love is breaking down because of a tattoo I have that is symbolic of the two of us.
I should have warned her. I wish I’d thought to warn her, but I wasn’t even thinking about the tattoo. All I was thinking about was Lexi, naked and wet, in my arms.
Why didn’t I think of how the tattoo would affect her?!?!
We’re both as naked as the day we were born and she’s crying all over my chest. She sniffles one last time and looks up at me with those gorgeous amber eyes, that are now bloodshot from tears and her nose is all red and swollen, but she’s still simply gorgeous.
“I’m sorry I lost it. I don’t know why I did that. It just took me by surprise… seeing that on you.” And she looks down at my chest.
“It’s ok. You good now?” I ask as I kiss her cute red nose.
She blushes and tucks her chin down as if embarrassed. “Yes. I’m ok. I’m good. We’re good. This is all just so surreal, you know?”
Lifting her chi
n with my finger, I kiss her one last time on the mouth before stepping into the shower with her. “I know, it is for me too, Lex, but I’m happy.”
We shower; she lets me use her toothbrush, and then together we crawl into bed naked. I pull her close to me. Her back is to my front and my arm is around her waist. I kiss her shoulder, and she sighs.
“Goodnight, Jude. I’m glad you’re here.”
“Night, Lex. I’m glad I’m here, too.”
It takes literally seconds for her to pass out. She gently snores as I kiss her one more time before whispering into the dark room, “I love you, Lex. I always have, and always will.”
Sleep claims me quickly with Lexi snuggled up against me, where she belongs.
Chapter Fourteen
Lexi
I awaken to the sun streaming through the blinds, a warm arm draped over my hip with a hand cradling my breast, and soft breath tickling my hair as Jude breathes in and out with sleep.
Rolling slowly, so as not to wake him, I prop my head on my palm and just look at his face.
I’ve missed him. It’s so unreal to have the face that haunts my dreams lying on the pillow beside me. In my bed… again.
Almost without conscious thought, my other hand reaches out and traces the line of his jaw slowly before moving to the cleft of his top lip.
His mouth is slightly open and the urge to press a kiss to it is at the forefront of my mind.
My gaze follows the line of his neck and the rise and fall of his chest before zeroing in on the tattoo that covers his heart. I’m reaching out to touch it when a husky, drawl sounds out.
“You know I could get used to this. It’s very hard to remember that I’m not supposed to make love to you when I open my eyes to see you looking at me like that, Lex.”
Jerking my hand back and dropping it to the bed, I gasp, then giggle. “God, Jude! You startled me. Did I wake you?”
He groans as he lets out a cat like stretch and reaches for my head, pulling it down to his and nuzzling my nose with his own. “You did. But I don’t mind. You can wake me every morning.”
