The Will

by Kristen Ashley

  “Baby, you got everything.”

  I stared into his eyes, not needing to close mine to fully feel the beauty of that washing through me, and whispered again my, “Oh.”

  He studied my face, spending particular time at my mouth and I began to hold my breath in hopeful anticipation before his eyes came back to mine.

  “You burn hot like that all the time?” he asked softly.

  I knew precisely what he was referring to.

  “Never,” I answered softly.

  That got me another grin, this one lighting his eyes in a way I felt acutely and pleasantly in one particular part of my body.

  His grin died and his lips commanded, “You gotta call Mick.”

  My eyes slid to the side as I replied, “It would appear I do.”

  “Babe,” he called.

  My eyes slid back.

  “You gotta call Mick,” he repeated.

  “Okay, Jake,” I agreed.

  “First, we’re takin’ a shower,” he announced.

  Oh my.

  He wasn’t quite finished.

  “No, first you’re cuttin’ this tape off my hands. I got you naked in a shower, I want more than my fingertips. Then, I’m eatin’ you. Been hungry for you since our dinner at The Eaves. Got my shot, not waitin’ any longer.”

  At that, a pulse beat through my entire body.

  He still wasn’t finished.

  “Then we’re crashin’. Tomorrow you can call Mick.”

  “Okay, Jake,” I agreed again, this time breathily.

  “You sleep in one of your nighties. I pick the blue one unless you got something better.”

  I said nothing.

  However, the blue one was dirty.

  But I had something better.

  “No panties,” he finished.

  I squirmed under him.

  His eyes dropped to my mouth.

  I held my breath again.

  His eyes came to mine.

  “Time to shower.”

  I said nothing mostly because I didn’t have a chance.

  I was off the bed and following Jake out the door because his hand was clamped around mine and he was dragging me there.

  Though, dragging was perhaps an incorrect word since at that point I would have gladly followed him anywhere.

  But especially the shower.

  * * * * *

  Jake closed his mouth over my clit and sucked deep. I felt the pressure release just as his tongue lashed hard.

  It was then I came.

  Still coming, I felt him cover me and surge inside.

  Dazedly, my orgasm still burning through me, I wrapped both legs around his thighs and my arms around his back. He planted a hand in the bed, arm bent so he stayed close, his mouth working my neck, his cock thrusting deep.

  I took him for a long time, glorying in the feel, the smell of his clean skin, the power in his movements, the bigness of his body, the noises he made that rumbled into my flesh.

  Suddenly, I felt his teeth sink gently into the skin around my jaw, scrape softly down to my chin, the sensation odd yet captivating even as it was titillating and intimate.

  I loved it.

  Then he again buried his face in my neck, surged inside one last time and groaned into my skin.

  I’d touched him throughout, my hands coasting across his hard muscles and sleek skin. But when he climaxed inside me, I wrapped him tight and held him close.

  I gave him time, waited for his body to relax into mine, listened to his breathing even and only then did I turn my head and say to him words the likes of which I hadn’t said to any man for twenty-three years.

  “I like you very much, Jake Spear.”

  He lifted his head and looked down at me and I saw I was wrong earlier.

  His face sated and relaxed, his eyes warm, his cock still inside me, that was the most beautiful thing I’d seen in my life.

  He didn’t return my sentiment.

  He did something better.

  He dropped his lips to mine and kissed me, deep, sweet and long.

  I held him close and kissed him back.

  He broke the kiss in a gentle way, brushing his lips against mine before he murmured, “Gotta see to business. Be back.”

  I nodded.

  He gently pulled out, sliding his nose along my jaw as he did so in a way that made my belly drop and tingles slide over my skin and not just the skin at my jaw. Then he was out of bed. He tossed the covers over me and I watched him walk naked out of the room.

  I curled to my side and kept my eyes glued to the door, my mind blank and languorous, my body just the latter and I kept staring at the door until he returned.

  Then I stared at him.

  He had an amazing body.

  Unbelievable.

  Exquisite.

  That body joined mine in bed. He turned out the light then turned me into his arms.

  “You good?” he asked into the top of my hair.

  I stared at the shadowed wall of his chest.

  “Josie?” he called when I didn’t answer

  “I’m afraid,” I admitted softly.

  His arms pulled me closer and I felt his lips on my hair when he answered, “Beat that back, honey. No reason to be scared. Not with me.”

  I kept staring at his chest as I continued with my admissions.

  “There are things to know about me.”

  “And you got time to share them with me.”

  I took in a halting breath and put pressure on to pull away but Jake’s arms went very tight, one hand sifting up into my still-wet-from-our-shower hair and he held my face pressed to his chest.

  Not able to look at him, I didn’t give up.

  “They’re difficult to take.”

  There was a heavy pause I didn’t like very much before he remarked, “You get Lydie talked about you.”

  I closed my eyes.

  I knew.

  Now I knew.

  He gave me a squeeze and his voice lowered, when, still talking in my hair, he said, “She talked about you.”

  Good God.

  God.

  Feeling the burning sensation in my chest, I decided I needed to let that go.

  For now.

  Now, I’d move on to something else.

  “Something happened to me tonight, Jake,” I whispered.

  “Tell me,” he whispered back.

  “I can’t. I don’t know what it was.”

  “When did it happen?”

  “When you started to fight.”

  His arms convulsed before he asked, “What did it feel like?”

  “Like I was coming out of my skin.”

  “Coming out of your skin?”

  “Yes.”

  “In a good way or a bad way?”

  “Good,” I told him. “Very good,” I went on.

  He said nothing for long moments before he inquired, “Why’d you come to the locker room?”

  “I…” I started, about to tell him it was to find out why he was mad at me but that wasn’t it.

  I just didn’t know why I did it.

  “Was in there maybe two minutes before you showed,” he stated when I said no more.

  “I…” I began again but stopped again.

  One of his arms left me, his hand came to my chin and he tipped my head back.

  His eyes caught mine in the moonlight. “Babe, I was pissed at you but lookin’ back at it, not pissed and havin’ seen that look now more than once, you walked into that room lookin’ turned way the fuck on.”

  Oh dear.

  “I was,” I whispered.

  “So you came in there to get yourself some.”

  Did I?

  Oh God.

  I did.

  “I—” I started again but stopped this time because his body was shaking and in doing so, it was shaking me and the bed.

  This was because he was laughing.

  “Jake?” I called. “Are you laughing?”

  “Oh yeah,” he
rumbled, his voice filled with humor and even though I heard him, he confirmed, “Fuck yeah.”

  “I’m uncertain what’s amusing.”

  His arm went back around me and he used both to slide me up his chest so we were eye to eye.

  He still had a smile in his voice when he asked, “You think that instead of you comin’ outta your skin tonight, maybe it wasn’t that and instead you dropped the disguise?”

  “What disguise?”

  There was no smile in his voice at all when he said gently, “The one you been wearin’ for a long fuckin’ time, baby.”

  Yes, Gran had talked about me.

  I said nothing but I did something.

  I slid down the bed and hid, doing this by pressing my face back into his chest.

  “How ‘bout we talk about that later,” he suggested, still speaking gently.

  I again said nothing but I indicated agreement by nodding.

  He gathered me close in his arms again and stated, “Glad you get off on me fightin’.”

  I took in a deep breath and gratefully accepted his subject change. “I met a woman prior to your bout. Her name is Alyssa and she warned me that would happen.”

  “Alyssa. Surprised I didn’t hear her moanin’ through the walls before I came out for my fight. More times than I could count over the years, before the door closes on her ass, me and a bunch of boys have seen her drop to her knees and start to blow Junior just freein’ his dick from his trunks enough for her to latch on.”

  It would seem that fighters and their partners were very blunt when discussing sex.

  However, that wasn’t what concerned me.

  What concerned me was that I might have become the new Alyssa of the adult boxing league that night.

  Therefore, I mumbled, “At least you locked the door.”

  There was a moment of silence before he called, “Babe.”

  I didn’t reply. I quite enjoyed Jake fighting and although I would never have guessed it, I much wanted to see him do it again.

  Alas, I couldn’t. I couldn’t show my face again.

  It would be mortifying.

  “Josie,” he called again.

  “I’m tired,” I told him which wasn’t completely a lie.

  “Baby, look at me.”

  I took in another deep breath before I tipped my head back and looked at him.

  He was already looking at me and he didn’t delay in speaking when he caught my eyes.

  “I get that was probably not your thing but outside of that assclown bein’ an assclown and mouthin’ off, I’ll tell you how that felt for me. You’re beautiful. You’re classy. You’re sweet. You dress fuckin’ cool and unbelievably hot. I KO’d the third seed in our league in five minutes and I was prouder of walkin’ out of that room with you, knowin’ everyone knew you were mine and just how you were mine, what I could do to you and what you could give to me, than I was at watching him hit the mat.”

  “That’s absurd and beautiful, both at the same time,” I blurted.

  I saw his white teeth in the shadows and knew he was smiling when he advised, “Grasp on to the beautiful part, Slick.”

  “I’ll make an effort to do that, Jake.”

  I watched his face get closer then I felt his mouth on mine. He kissed me, it was again deep and sweet but it wasn’t long before he broke contact with my mouth and lifted his lips to touch them to my forehead.

  He then dropped to his back but took me with him, holding me close to his side.

  I wrapped my arm around his flat stomach and rested my cheek against his chest.

  “You get on with Alyssa?” he asked when we’d settled.

  “She was lovely, albeit loud and foul-mouthed.”

  “She’s the shit. Good woman. Good mom. Good to Junior.”

  “She asked me for my number,” I shared and his arm around my back gave me a squeeze.

  “I’ll talk to Junior. Get hers. She doesn’t call you, you call her. You got me, the kids, but women need women at their backs and she’d be a good one.”

  I didn’t have very many women at mine, but the ones I had, I knew this was true.

  “I’ll call her if she doesn’t call me.”

  That got me another squeeze before he murmured, “Good.”

  He fell silent.

  I stared at the shadowed angles of his chest.

  I did this for some time before I whispered, “Jake?”

  “Baby, we’re good,” he whispered back, answering the question I hadn’t yet asked. The question that had me most afraid. The question that might lead to what we’d done being a foolhardy act which would mean we’d lose all we’d built. And even in the short time we’d had, we’d built something beautiful I never wanted to lose.

  I just wanted to build it higher, stronger and keep it forever.

  “What’s next?” I queried.

  “Don’t know, Josie. Just know whatever it is I want you to be a part of it and I hope like fuck you want the same.”

  I closed my eyes tight and pressed my cheek hard to his chest.

  I wanted the same.

  I very much wanted the same.

  But I didn’t expect Jake to want it.

  Clearly, he did.

  And I didn’t know how to feel the feeling I was feeling. I’d been content for so long I forgot how to feel happy.

  I turned my head and my lips moved against his skin when I noted, “You like me too.”

  His hand slid up my spine to curl around the back of my neck when he replied, “Oh yeah, honey. I like you too.”

  I swallowed the emotion that was clogging my throat and dipped my chin into my neck so I could press my forehead into his skin.

  His hand tightened on my neck and he urged, “Go to sleep, Josie.”

  At his command, I opened my eyes, turned my head and settled in. “Okay, Jake.”

  He moved his other arm to wrap both around me and I settled deeper into him. With effort, I relaxed against him and it didn’t take long before one of his arms slid away, the other one loosened, his hand resting lightly at my waist, and I knew he was asleep.

  I wasn’t asleep.

  The last time I got what I wanted, what I really, really wanted was when Andy came to sit by me in lunch at high school.

  And that didn’t work out very well.

  Somehow, it had happened again.

  I’d been happy then.

  I felt happy now.

  Right alongside utterly terrified.

  This thought seized me and I rolled away from Jake to turn my eyes to the window.

  I couldn’t see the sea from where I was in the bed, but I could see the inky sky and bright shaft of moonlight.

  I was barely away from him but for seconds before Jake rolled into me and I felt his arm curl around my belly.

  He did nothing more. He said nothing. His breath was even. His hold was again loose.

  “Jake?” I whispered.

  He didn’t reply.

  He’d rolled into me in his sleep.

  I stared at the view and seeing that view, lying in that bed, Jake holding me in his sleep, it came to me that Gran gave this to me.

  Gran gave it to me.

  All of it.

  She knew what she was doing from the very beginning.

  So it was safe.

  And it was mine.

  On that thought, I felt the tension slide out of my shoulders and away from spine, my lips curved up, my body pressed back into the warm hardness of Jake’s and my eyelids dropped.

  Thus on that thought, I fell asleep for the first time in over two decades doing it carefree.

  And doing it happy.

  Chapter Thirteen

  She’d Like It a Fuckuva Lot

  Jake opened his eyes and saw white ceiling and white cornices.

  But he felt Josie’s hair all over his chest and shoulder, her cheek on his pec, her arm around his gut, the warmth of her soft body pressed to his side and the silk of her short nightie on his arm but
his hand that was resting on her hip felt nothing but skin.

  This was why he smiled.

  His eyes caught on the pink of the walls and his mind brought up an image of that room which was almost all flowers, the armchair by the window, the cover on the bed, the toss pillows that were everywhere. The prints didn’t match but it worked in a girlie way that was definitely not him, it wasn’t even Josie, but it was Lydie. There were even faded pictures of flowers in frames on the walls.

  With all that pink and all those flowers, it was a wonder his testosterone levels didn’t take a nosedive the instant he entered the room.

  Then again, he could get it up for Josie anytime, anyplace. He knew that because he had to fight against getting hard at a fucking high school football game with just her pressed to his side.

  He could definitely do it in a room filled with flowers.

  He’d proved that last night.

  And now.

  He wanted her. He was ready for her. His mind was no longer on flowers but on the red silk nightie she was wearing.

  His favorite color was blue but that red nightie was the absolute shit. Josie in it, her long hair down and even wet, her in that nightie was the hottest thing he’d ever seen.

  But he’d only had one condom in his wallet. He’d taken her without one in the locker room but until they had the conversation, that was all he was going to take.

  Which sucked.

  This meant he couldn’t have her again and with the day ahead, he wouldn’t be able to have her until that night.

  So they had to have the conversation.

  They just wouldn’t be having it now.

  Last night, they’d taken a giant leap forward, a fucking awesome one. Even with that, he wasn’t going to start pushing her now.

  To calm his shit down, he was trying not to think of her in that sexy as fuck dress she wore last night, sitting ringside for him, following him to the locker room, that look on her face, that heat in her pretty blue eyes, when she moved her head slightly on his chest.

  He knew by the way it felt she wasn’t moving in her sleep but instead moving in a way she was trying not to wake him so he knew she was awake.

  Therefore he tightened his arm around her and rolled them so he was resting partly on her front, partly down her side. He hitched a knee to spread her legs and rested it almost at the heat of her as he lifted his head and looked down at her face.

  Fuck.

  So fucking pretty.