by Amy Summers
His grin was crooked. “I have my talents.” He chuckled again, looking at her outlandish outfit. “Who did this to you? Was it Pedro’s idea? Or did you come up with this on your own?”
Her eyes narrowed defensively. “Pedro said they would bite me if I didn’t come prepared.”
Brett nodded. “And he conned you into donning the perfect disguise. That was why he was giggling when he told me to come on over and help you out.”
“Did he call you? I specifically told him not to call you!”
“Why not?” Brett looked surprised. “Why not, Kendall?”
She avoided his gaze, studiously pulling off the scarlet gloves. “I wanted to handle it on my own,” she mumbled. “And I would have, too, if you hadn’t barged in.”
“Kendall.” His eyes were puzzled. “Do I get in your way? I don’t mean to threaten you. I don’t want to be one of those men who come blustering in and take over where they’re not wanted.” He hesitated. “But I like you. I like what you’re doing here. And I want to help. Will you let me?”
She searched his eyes. He really seemed to mean it. She would give anything to be able to smile and say, “Sure, of course, welcome aboard.” But what if she opened herself to him and he turned out to be like Gerald, tempting on the surface and a fraud beneath the mask? Could she take a chance?
“I guess so,” she said grudgingly at last. “But just remember, you don’t have to come riding to the rescue all the time. I’m the one who saved you from the rattler. Or had you forgotten?”
His eyes sparkled. “I hadn’t forgotten.”
He began to help her get rid of the shoulder pads. She stood very still and let him work. He was close, so close she could feel his body heat, smell the clean, male scent from his open shirt. She wanted to close her eyes and melt against him, but she kept her reaction to him locked inside, and when he looked down, her eyes were bland, betraying nothing.
“Pedro did call me,” he told her as he removed the heavy pads from her shoulders. “But earlier on, before the monkey episode.” He set the pads on the floor by the door. “He wanted to know if I would do him a favor. I said I’d have to check it out with you.” His grin was youthful, teasing. “And you just gave me the go-ahead. So we’re okay.”
“What?” She was confused. “What are you talking about?”
“Pedro’s sister is getting married in San Diego. He wants to go home for a week or so, to help out. He didn’t want to tell you yet. He was worried about leaving you by yourself.” He nodded toward the monkeys, still quietly devouring food in the cage. “And now that someone has opened another cage, it’s even more important that you not be here alone at night.”
Kendall looked from him to the monkeys and back again. “I’ll be all right,” she began.
But he didn’t let her finish. “He’s leaving tomorrow. I’m going to come and stay in his trailer at night. Just to be safe.”
She felt a quick shiver of panic. “No, oh no! I’ll be fine. You don’t need to...”
He took her by the shoulders and gave her a gentle shake. “I’m not even going to argue with you about this.” He sighed. “Kendall, don’t look so scared. I won’t do anything to you. And I certainly won’t force you into anything you don’t want. You’ll be safe with me here. I promise.”
Safe. How could she be safe? Safe from him, maybe. But completely vulnerable to her own emotions. She watched him gather up the monkeys in their cage and carry them out her door, heading back to the enclosure where they belonged, and she shivered again. A part of her dreaded what might happen. And another part longed to see her deepest dreams come true.
Pedro left and Brett moved in. Kendall was afraid Danni would feel deserted, but instead, she was delighted with the arrangement. Kendall began to get the distinct impression she was hoping to match her big brother with her friend and employer.
“Now you two can get to know each other better,” she said happily. “I know you’ll hit it off.” She’d given Kendall an impulsive hug. “You know what? You are my two favorite people in the world.”
Brett had driven out to San Benito County to do some work for the Department of Fish and Game. He got back just about the time Danni went home. The wind was kicking up, blowing like a dry tropical storm. They’d spent the afternoon battening down the cages and dens for the animals. Now it was time for the humans to get under cover themselves.
Kendall waved to Brett from the door of her trailer as he left his parked car. “Do you want something to eat?” she called, the wind tearing the words from her mouth as she said them.
“No thanks,” he called back. “I had a hamburger on the road.”
He waved. She waved back. And then they both took shelter inside their respective trailers.
She sat for a long time, staring at the wall, listening to the wind howl around the corners of her trailer, wondering what he was doing. The two of them were there all alone. All alone. And eventually, she knew, he would make the rounds to check on everything, and he would stop by to check on her.
An idea popped into her head, an irrational idea, one which she would, in saner moments, have swept away in irritation. But this time it was different. A strange fever seemed to have blown in with the wind. Instead of dismissing it, she rose and went to her bedroom and searched her closet for her prettiest dress.
She chose a sea-green silk that was cut low in the bodice with tiny, braided straps and a pinched-in waist that opened to snug, seductive pleating around the hips. She put it on, slipped into heels, and looked at herself in the mirror. Her eyes were sparkling, and her cheeks were so pink, she didn’t think she needed any extra makeup. Fluffing her hair out, she went into the living room and sat on the couch to wait and listen to the wind blow with blasts that occasionally rocked her trailer.
What was she going to tell him? That she always dressed like this at night? That she’d planned to go into town but was waiting for the wind to die down? That she was trying to look her very best for him?
This was crazy. Suddenly she felt like an utter fool. What was she doing here? What was she thinking of? What would he think? She rose to go into the bedroom and change, but before she’d taken a step, a knock came on the door. She stopped, heart beating wildly.
“Yes?” she called.
“It’s Brett,” he called back above the whine of the wind. “I just wanted to say good night.”
She stood in the middle of the room, awash with indecision. Wasn’t he planning to come in? Should she open the door anyway? She stepped to the door, her hand on the knob, but she didn’t open it.
“Would you like to come in for some coffee?” she called, then held her breath for his answer.
“No thanks.” He didn’t even sound tempted. “I think I’m going to go ahead and go to bed.” The wind shook the trailer. “Hey, these gusts are getting vicious. Be careful.”
She stood very still, one hand on the knob, the other flattened against the door, as though she could sense him with it just beyond the wood. All she had to do was turn the knob and pull open the door and he would see her in the dress. Wasn’t that what she wanted? Wasn’t that what she’d planned for? She bit her lip. Should she do it?
She was crazy, plain crazy! She couldn’t do it. It was too blatant, too obvious. If she did it, there would be no turning back. He’d know. There would be no doubt as to what she wanted. She couldn’t do it.
“I’ll be careful,” she called, hoping the wind would mask how shaky her voice sounded. “Good night.”
“Good night,” he called back.
Pressing her ear to the door, she heard the crunch of his boots on the gravel as he walked away, and then another heavy gust hit the trailer and she reached out to stop herself from falling.
“You idiot,” she told herself savagely, regaining her balance and hardly noticing the weather in her confusion over her own emotional choices. “You’re such a wimp! What do you want? Do you want him or not? How are you ever going to get him if you won’t
even take the simplest steps?”
Storming back into the room, she looked down the hall at her reflection. “If you want him,” she told herself aloud, “you’re going to have to tell him. You’ve rejected him so many times now.” She was going to have to spell it out, to be absolutely clear.
But wasn’t that why she’d put on the dress, to be clear, to let him know? And then she hadn’t had the courage to open the door and let him see it. She might as well take it off. She’d wasted it, anyway. She’d been nuts to think it would do any good. Besides, what was she thinking of, planning to capture his fancy? She couldn’t pursue anything intimate with Brett at this point. She couldn’t even remember exactly why she couldn’t but she knew it had to be true. She knew in the dark recesses of her soul that it would be folly to let him know how much she loved him.
Now she was glad she hadn’t opened that door. What if he’d seen her all gussied up like this? He probably would have laughed just like he’d laughed at her in the football shoulder pads and motorcycle helmet. What if he’d taken one look, realized what she was doing, and laughed right in her face?
After all, Gerald had always laughed when she’d tried to approach him, whenever she’d tried to make herself attractive to him. It stood to reason, Brett might laugh too. And she couldn’t stand that.
She looked in the mirror again. In the dim light she did look darkly seductive. He would have liked that, wouldn’t he? Oh no, she was all wrong! It was too bad she hadn’t opened that door. If only she had, it might have started something special, something she might not have another chance at. But it was too late now. Swearing softly she reached back and undid her zipper, dropping the dress into a heap on the floor and then kicking it across the room before slipping out of her high heels.
She turned to go into the bedroom but at the same moment, a blast of wind hit, rocking the trailer with a shuddering jolt, knocking her off her feet. She hit the floor with a thump, then looked up to see her six-foot bookcase crashing toward her.
“Oh!” With a shriek, she rolled out of the way. It smashed to the floor, books scattering everywhere, wood splintering, and she lay very still, staring at it in horror, imagining what might have happened if she hadn’t seen it coming.
“Kendall!” Brett was there, bursting through her door, running in and kneeling by her side. “I heard the crash. Are you all right?”
She looked up at him blankly and nodded, still too stunned to speak. His arms came around her, lifting her and then he was carrying her into the bedroom. She let her head fall against his shoulder, closing her eyes. This was like a dream. Was it really happening? Had the wind brought him? Or was he only a mirage?
He lay her down carefully, and she looked up at him. Yes, he was real. So very real, his eyes huge in the shadows of the dimly lit room. He was here, just as she’d wanted him. She’d been too weak to let him know, and now the wind had done it for her.
“I’m all right,” she told him. “Really. I... I was just shaken a little. The bookcase came so close.”
“Thank God,” he said hoarsely. “Thank God you’re okay.”
His hand went into her hair, tangling with the curls. She looked up into his gaze. It was fierce, almost possessive, and as he moved closer, leaning down over where she lay on the bed, it filled with a burning hunger that stopped the breath in her throat.
“Kendall,” he said, his voice low. “Kendall, I’d better go.”
But he didn’t go. Reaching out, he touched her, his hand gliding across the silky cloth. She sighed, tingling where his hand passed, stretching out so that he would touch more, moving so that he would touch her breast.
A tiny sound came from her throat when his hand lingered there. She looked into his eyes, searching... He wasn’t laughing. He wouldn’t ever laugh. He would take what she had to offer and respect it. She reached to pull him down to her and sighed as the length of his body slid next to hers.
“Kendall,” he groaned. “I promised you.”
“You’re not forcing me to do anything,” she said, running her hand down his chest, starting on the buttons of his shirt. “I want this. I do. I’m sure.”
And then it was over and she lay back, her legs entangled with his. Brett’s eyes were closed and she couldn’t stop looking at him, her heart full, her emotions close to the surface. He was so wonderful, so strong and sure and gentle. How could she have doubted? Right now she had no fear. He was hers. At least, for the moment.
She lay back, their breathing steady and in sync. He stirred, then sat up to lean on his elbow, gazing down in wonder.
“Kendall MacKenzie, is that really you?”
She let the barest trace of a smile curl the corners of her mouth. “Who did you think it was?”
“I don’t know.” He grinned. “Some passing sex goddess, maybe.” He bent down to drop a quick kiss on her lips. “Why did you resist me for so long?” he demanded. “I can’t tell you how wonderful it is to be with you.”
She turned away, not answering, and he brushed back her hair, lovingly stroking her cheek.
“It was your husband, wasn’t it?” he said softly. “What did he do, Kendall? How did he hurt you?”
How could he possibly understand? She closed her eyes, wishing she could block out the question, make it go away. But he was still there, still waiting, and he was being so good to her. Did she owe him an explanation? Somehow she felt that she did. She took a deep breath.
“It... it was Gerald. Our marriage was... kind of weird.” She looked up and saw the anger brewing in his eyes. Quickly she added, “He never really hurt me, not physically. Where he hurt me was here...” She put her hand to her heart. “And here...” Her fingers touched her temple. And then she cringed inside, wondering how she could go on.
Brett pulled himself up so that he sat back against the headboard, then drew her over so that her head was on his lap. He stroked her hair softly. “Go on.”
Kendall nodded, feeling curiously cold. She would do it, if she could. She’d never told anyone before. Maybe it would do her good to tell it. Maybe it would lighten some of the burden.
“I was so young,” she began tentatively, searching for the right words. “He was so handsome, so distinguished, much older. He was a respected man in the community, a success, very wealthy. I was in heaven when he selected me to be his wife. I thought I was marrying the most wonderful man on earth.”
She hesitated. How could Brett understand? But she had to try to give this to him. He’d given so much to her. “He treated me so respectfully. He never pawed and grabbed like the boys my age always had. After having had a few bad experiences with boys who wouldn’t take ‘no’ for an answer, I was thrilled to have this gentleman courting me.”
She turned her face so that she couldn’t see Brett. “The shock came on our wedding night.” Now it was going to get harder. She swallowed and forced herself on. “I... I found out he’d arranged for us to have separate bedrooms. I couldn’t understand why, and I was too shy with him to ask at first. I thought maybe there was something I didn’t know about, didn’t understand. But even when I got brave enough to challenge him about it, he evaded every question. It wasn’t until we’d been married for almost a year that I... I discovered what was really going on.” Brett’s hand had stopped stroking and she wished it would continue. But she had to get this over with. “I found... evidence of the kind of sordid things he preferred to sleeping with his wife. It was only then that I realized he’d only married me as a cover for his recreational pursuits, to shield him from gossip.”
Brett’s hand had turned into a fist against her cheek. She could almost feel his smoldering anger. She hurried on.
“Actually, he was perfectly pleasant to me in the daytime that first year or so. At night he became like another person. He didn’t want me anywhere near him. And in later years, even during the day, he became colder and colder, until toward the end, he was downright cruel, telling me he didn’t love me because I was unlovable, things like
that.” The horror of his destruction of her self-esteem came back to her in an ugly wave. She steeled herself and her voice turned cold as she told Brett the unforgivable truth. “I was glad when he died. I still am.”
He was very quiet, and so was she, realizing what she had just done. She had told Brett things that she had never told another living soul, secret things that had been festering inside her for a long, long time. For just a moment, she trembled inside. Had she made a horrible mistake? Should she have kept her mouth shut? What if...?
But then his arms were coming around her and her doubts melted away.
“Kendall,” he whispered, as he took her against him, letting his body do the healing it was so good at, “I’m glad you told me. But now I want you to forget it ever happened. We’re starting fresh, you and me. Like newborns in a new land. The past doesn’t matter. It’s only now we care about. Only now.”
The wind whistled around the trailer, but they hardly noticed. Lovemaking was a storm of another sort, a storm they created themselves, the kind of storm that could wipe everything clean, and even heal a heart that had been broken for too many years.
Chapter 9
Kendall felt as though she belonged in an old-fashioned Disney movie, with birds fluttering about and blossoms falling through the air and deer peering from behind bushes to gaze benignly upon her happiness. Brett had once said he hoped she learned to set herself free. And then he’d shown her how.
She’d never been so happy. Was it just her imagination, or did the sun seem a little brighter? She knew for sure the air was softer, and the animals in a much better mood.
Brett had left Pedro’s trailer altogether and moved his things in with her. The nights were so filled with lovemaking and talking in soft tones in the dark and holding one another close, that neither one of them seemed to be getting any sleep. But that was okay. Who needed sleep? Kendall was in love.
