“You’re fucking gorgeous.” I pulled my fingers from her mouth and took her lips with mine, devouring her. Tasting her arousal on her lips had my dick rock-fucking-hard and ready to explode if I didn’t get inside her beautiful body soon. I lifted her up on the counter and impaled her. Sheathed myself in her pulsing hot pussy and slammed back and forth.
I brought it straight fucking home because I didn’t have the patience to wait. She was mine and she needed to know it. I had to show her. I took her head in both of my hands and thrust my tongue into her mouth, searching her and invading her just in the same way we were connected as I thrust my cock inside her. I wanted to crawl into her; it was fucking home to have her take me in this way, embracing me. I’d never felt so possessive and loved all in the same moment like I did when Georgia and I came together like this.
“Oh God, oh God, oh God,” she groaned as her pussy clenched my cock like a fist and tremors wracked her body. Her eyes fluttered closed as her arms gave out and she crumpled back on the counter.
“Eyes, I want your eyes when I’m inside you.” I ground my hips into her and circled them around, taking advantage of her orgasm to launch my own. My thighs clenched and my fingers dug into her soft hips as I poured myself into her. I wanted it all with her. My whole fucking future was laid at my doorstep as I revealed myself to her, opened up to her, and saw the next fifty years of our lives together. A white dress, kids, family vacations, a rocking chair on the very same deck of the house we were fucking in right now. I wanted it all and having it with anyone else other than the girl that’d just come undone underneath me wasn’t an option. I just hoped she felt it too.
19
“I have to go. I promise I won't see him—I have no reason to, but I have to go.” Georgia sat beside me on the newly restored porch as we sipped coffee. Spring rain was misting down around us as we watched the waves roll in. Her first renters were scheduled for this weekend and she’d busted her ass for the last few weeks to get the house in perfect condition. She’d been a nervous wreck. And I’d suspected she'd thrown herself into the rental to forget the parole hearing that was fast approaching. Oh yeah, and that fucking proposal that we hadn’t talked about since it had happened. She’d done a stellar job distracting me with her lips around my dick, but don’t think it hadn’t crossed my mind since. It might have been in the moment and impulsive, a jackass move for me since I didn’t even have a ring for her, but if she would have said yes, I would have carried her off that same day and tied her to me, body and soul, forever.
“I get you have to go, but I don’t get why I can’t go with you.” I took a sip of my coffee as my eyes stayed trained on hers.
“I have to do this by myself. You don’t understand. Kyle was always there for me, through all of this, holding my hand. He was my lifeline. I need to be my own lifeline—strong enough to face this to get over it.” Her fingers stroked my hand sweetly.
“I get it, but I don’t like it.” I sighed. “How long will you be gone?” The parole hearing was next week and now that everything with the beach rental was taken care of, she had lots of excess energy to focus on it.
“A day or two tops.”
“Can’t Silas go with you?” If I couldn’t be there, he would be the next best thing. I knew he wouldn’t let anything happen to her.
“No, and anyway, he’s busy. He and Justin are working on getting financing for the pub. Remember?”
Silas and Justin were trying to open a gastropub in downtown Wilmington. Justin had the culinary skills to feed the masses and Silas had the finances and energy to get it off the ground.
“I just don’t want you facing it alone.” I also didn’t want her running into Kyle. I knew she wouldn’t seek him out, but I didn’t trust him not to pull shit if he heard she was in town. I also hated to admit in some deep, dark part of me, I was concerned she wouldn’t be able to resist his advances and would fall back into old habits, just as she’d always done.
“I’ll be fine.” She leaned over and pecked me on the lips. She tasted like coffee and vanilla, just how she’d always tasted. That flavor had my heart racing since I’d tasted it on her lips last summer when we’d shared our first kiss. Vanilla had become synonymous with Georgia and it made me love her all the more.
Love.
I’d finally admitted it to myself. I’d been afraid to admit that before the proposal, but after, all bets were off. In my mind, anyway. I just needed to get past this parole hearing before I put us on the path to our future. Because the future was ours, our futures were forever entwined. I just had to show her that.
“Come here.” I hauled her out of her chair and plopped her in my lap. She wrapped her arms around my shoulders and tucked her head into my neck. My heart skipped a few beats with her wrapped around me, just in the same way she was wrapped around my heart. If this girl left me again, she would crush me.
Completely.
“I love you.” I held her cheeks in my hands and searched her eyes for something that would tell me she felt the same way.
20
He’d said it. He’d finally said the words we hadn’t said to each other since my world had fallen apart last summer. He’d asked me to marry him this winter and yet we still hadn’t said those words again. It didn’t matter, because he’d settled into my heart and without saying the words, I knew I was his completely. I did love him, more than I ever thought it possible to love someone.
“I love you too,” I whispered and pressed my lips to his, molding us together in a way that took my breath away. “I love you completely.” I pulled away and held his face in mine. “And you don’t have to worry. I feel okay with this. I’ll be fine. I’m going in there, saying what I have to say, and leaving.”
“Coming back to me?” His deep green eyes swam with emotion as he searched my face.
“Only place I wanna be is right here.” I pressed my hand to his chest, directly over his heart.
“Okay.” He licked his lips as relief flooded his face. “I love you.” His easy grin returned and his eyes did that beautiful sparkling thing that never failed to have me melting at his feet.
“I told you, I love you too.” I grinned before crawling off his lap.
“Smart ass.” He smacked me on the bottom before I swung around and headed back into the house. My heart was so light, it took my breath away. I’d needed time to process the upcoming parole hearing, but Tristan had helped me by getting on with our lives. We hadn’t dwelled; he hadn’t insisted we talk about it. I spoke about it when I wanted to, but he never pushed me. He held me when I woke up from a nightmare and shushed me back to sleep. It took time, but soon they dissipated.
I also came to the decision that I was ready to seek out a therapist in Wilmington. I didn't want to fall back into that dark place, and I couldn't expect Tristan, and shouldn't have expected Kyle, to save me from it. So I scheduled an appointment after I returned from DC and then sat down to write my letter to the parole board. I’d had a few dark moments; writing that letter felt a little like reliving the entire event, but when I put the letter down, I was able to move on. I was able to forget it. It was so easy to forget everything when I was wrapped in Tristan’s arms.
The following week, I threw my purse in my car and wrapped myself around my beautiful boyfriend. I twisted my fingers in his golden-streaked hair and tried to reassure him with my lips that I would be back just as soon as the hearing was over. He’d grown increasingly anxious the week leading up to this moment, but he had to know he had nothing to fear.
“I’ll see you in a few days.” I traced the sharp angle of his jaw with the pad of my thumb. “Behave yourself.”
“Always.” He crooked a grin at me. “Charlie and I have male bonding to do.”
“Don’t forget Diva,” I pouted.
“She’ll keep us in line.”
“I’m sure she will.” I patted his cheek and then pressed my lips back to his. I didn’t want to leave him here. A huge part of my heart wanted
to haul him along with me, his hand wrapped in mine every step of this horrific process, but I had to prove to myself that I could tackle this on my own. I didn’t need anyone; I was determined to come face to face with my past and conquer it.
“I love you, Georgia,” he murmured.
“I love you too,” I whispered as we pulled apart, our arms stretched and hands locked, before they finally dropped to our sides and I crawled into the front seat of my car and backed down the driveway of our little home.
Dressed in a power suit and black patent heels to give myself a boost of confidence, I pulled into a parking spot outside the Department of Corrections building and spotted a familiar face.
“You’ve got to be kidding me,” I mumbled as I stepped out of my car. “What are you doing here?” I glared as Kyle stepped up to me.
“I’m here for you,” he answered as he pulled me into an awkward hug.
“How did you know this was happening today?” I pulled away from him.
“You got a letter at the apartment. I had it forwarded, didn’t you notice it said so on the envelope?”
“I guess not,” I mumbled. My mind had gone on meltdown as soon as I’d seen the return address; nothing else had registered.
“I don’t need you here.” I instantly felt terrible for pushing Tristan away from today, insisting I do it myself, and yet here stood Kyle. It would tear Tristan up if he knew.
“Of course you do. You need someone, and since it looks like you’re solo . . .” He trailed off with an arched eyebrow.
“Tristan wanted to come. I told him he couldn’t.”
“Well, either way, I’m glad you’re not alone for this.” He locked my hand in his own.
“I can handle this, Kyle.” I jerked my hand away from him. “I’ve got to get in there,” I mumbled as I took long strides away from him.
“I’m not letting you go in there alone, Georgia. No matter what you think, you need someone, and I’m just glad I made the decision I did to come today, considering you’ve been left alone by the person who you think cares so much about you.”
“He respects me,” I mumbled as I kept walking, Kyle hustling behind me. I hurried up the few steps and opened the door of the brick building. We made our way through security before stepping up to the receptionist’s desk.
“I’m here for a parole hearing.” I passed the letter I’d received through the window. The receptionist scanned the letter and then looked up at me and over to Kyle.
“I’m her lawyer.” He pressed a hand to the small of my back. I shot him a glare as a shiver ran down my spine from his touch. She finally nodded before sending another guard out to escort us to the parole board meeting room.
Thirty minutes later, the hearing was over. I’d read my letter, teared up repeatedly, before breaking down completely. My shoulders were hunched and trembling as Kyle rubbed my back and whispered in my ear that it was going to be okay. Looks of sympathy spread across the parole board's faces as they watched me pour my heart out to them. Perfect strangers who held the stability of my future in their hands. Emotions seeped through me because it felt like my parents' memory, the tragic way they'd ended, how the world would perceive their story, was held in the hands of these half a dozen strangers. As we stepped out of the room, we passed a middle-aged woman with someone who looked to be her son. He looked no more than eighteen years old and was a perfect image of his father, the man that had taken my parents’ lives and had set me on a path full of pain. I paused for a moment when I looked into the woman’s eyes. She was teary and worn, as if she’d lived a hard life. I’m sure she had, and I felt badly for her. I felt an odd sense of kinship with her. Our lives had both been vaulted down a painful path through no fault of our own. The men who'd entered my house that night had taken things from both of us, things we could never get back.
I swallowed back another sob as Kyle wrapped an arm around my waist and pulled me into him.
We reached the open air of the parking lot and I sucked in deep breaths.
“You okay?” He rubbed my back.
“I’m fine. I’m glad this is behind me. My part of it, anyway.” We wouldn’t know the parole board's decision for up to a month and even then, I would be notified by letter.
“Do you want to get something to eat?” He continued to soothe me, rubbing my back, up my neck, down to the hollow of my spine, nearly to the top of my ass.
“Look, Kyle, I’m glad you were here. It was sweet of you. But none of this is a good idea. Us being together; it’s just not good,” I murmured. I had another night reserved at the hotel, but all I could think about was getting home to Tristan and our little slice of heaven on the beach.
“Is that your opinion or his?” His eyes flashed in anger.
“Mine,” I said firmly as I opened my car door.
“Look, Georgia. We’ve got a lot of history. Let me just take you out for something to eat. I wouldn't want you driving while you’re so upset anyway. I already have reservations.”
“Kyle,” I groaned.
“Come on. I’ll drive and bring you back to your car when we're done.”
I heaved a big sigh before caving. “Fine,” I murmured as I crawled into his black Audi. I knew Tristan wouldn't approve, but Kyle and I had grown up together, we had so much history, I wanted some sense of closure between us. I hated that the last time I'd seen him fists had been thrown.
A few minutes later, we pulled up to the Italian bistro we used to frequent. It was small, the lights were dim, the setting intimate and romantic.
“Really, Kyle?” I cocked an eyebrow at him.
“Can’t blame me for trying.” He passed me a sheepish grin.
“I can, actually. I’m with someone and I love him.”
“Okay. It’s just lunch, though.” He patted my knee like a big brother would. He was all over the place today and consequently had me unsure of whether I was coming or going.
Kyle escorted me into the restaurant by the small of my back before we sat down in a private corner. The hum of conversation was low around us. Kyle placed our orders. He remembered my favorites, and ordered a bottle of wine. This was all becoming very date-like and making my stomach twist with anxiety.
“Look, Georgia, I know you’re happy. You seem happy—happy as I’ve ever seen you, and I know it wasn’t me that did that. I haven’t put that smile on your face in years, and I feel terrible about that.” Kyle sipped his wine as his deep chocolate brown eyes bore into mine.
I took a drink and let the liquid ease down my throat, tingle out across my shoulders, and relax my whole body. “It’s okay, no apologies. It’s all in the past.”
“I know, but the thing is, I don’t want it to be. I miss you like fucking crazy. I fucked up so much, and I don’t blame you for leaving me, but I want you to know it's the best thing you could have done. I know that now. I’ve learned a lot—came to a lot of realizations. You were my everything, Georgia, and I took advantage of that, but I won’t anymore. I’ve changed.” He grabbed my hand and caressed the palm with his fingers. “Believe me, I’ve changed, and if you'd just give me another chance,” he whispered as his gaze held mine.
“This isn’t what I came here for, Kyle.” I pulled my hand from his and brought my wine glass to my lips again.
“I know. I know you think you and he are good together, but remember, Georgia. We were great. We were something. We were perfect for so long. I want that back. I’m going to make us work. No more fucking around, I swear. Just give me the chance to prove it to you.”
His beautiful browns held mine and I got lost in who we used to be. My memory drifted down the path to our past: high school, summers with baseball games and Fourth of July fireworks, holding hands and laughing, and it was all so sweet and fun until real life interceded and we slowly became incompatible. Kyle needed something from me that I couldn't give him—mainly a trophy wife that would shut her mouth while he worked long hours and fucked his receptionist.
“I’m n
ot what you need. Not anymore.”
The waiter set our plates down and nodded before walking away, sensing the tension between us.
“I wish you wouldn’t say that. I miss you so much. I need you. I love you. I couldn’t ever love anyone like I love you,” he murmured, looking as sad as I’d ever seen him. My heart cracked open just a little bit for him as I realized my mind was made up and he really didn't have a chance. Not with me, anyway.
“Look, Kyle, what we had was perfect for a while. It was beautiful and you were my everything, but that wasn't right for me. I have to be my everything, not someone else’s. I need to put me first, and I’m doing that now.” I stroked his forearm. He nodded solemnly before finally breaking my gaze and lifting his fork. We ate in silence the rest of the meal, and in some ways, it was more therapeutic than I ever imagined it could be.
We walked out of the restaurant an hour later, Kyle’s hand at my back, leading me toward his car. We turned the corner of the building and approached his Audi to find a blonde in a too short dress, ankles crossed, ridiculously high heels on, leaning against the driver’s side of his car.
Light in Mourning m-2 Page 9
