Sean let it slide off him. The game started and his mind focused solely on the puck and every player in his way. He was determined to win. Any way possible.
An hour and a half later, completely spent and sore, he didn’t feel better. Not only were his muscles screaming at him, but they’d lost. No matter what he’d done, he couldn’t score a goal. He left the ice wanting to stomp around and scream that the other team hadn’t played fair, but it would be a lie. The game had been tough but fair.
He stalked to the locker room to shower. Some of the guys grumbled about the game, some joked and made plans to go for beer even though it was a Tuesday night and they all had to work in the morning, but Sean spoke to no one. He was still pissed and a rough game hadn’t fixed that.
With his bag over his shoulder, he headed out and was surprised to find Kevin waiting in the lobby.
“Good game, man.”
“Would’ve been better if we won.”
“Can’t win ’em all.”
“Actually, you can. It’s just not likely.”
“Come on, loser, I’ll buy you a beer.”
Sean gave his big brother a shove, but he wouldn’t turn down a free beer. Even if it was a pity beer. “Follow me to McGinty’s.”
“Shit. Like I don’t know where McGinty’s is?” Kevin tossed his keys in the air and caught them as they walked into the parking lot.
Sean had forgotten that Kevin used to play too. They’d grown up at this rink. Jimmy was the only one who didn’t play hockey. He was football all the way. Kevin had stopped playing in college. Sean had never asked why. He’d been too busy getting himself into trouble.
About half the team showed at McGinty’s, so the place was noisy. Kevin beat him there by a few minutes and already had a couple bottles sitting in front of him at the bar. Sean eased onto the stool next to his brother. “So what got you out to finally watch a game?”
“I like watching you guys play. You and Tommy are something together on the ice.”
It had always been like that for Sean and Tommy. They were closest in age and were best friends. Sean took a swig of beer. It wasn’t like Kevin to show up to a game. It was even weirder that he’d made plans to come and actually showed. “So what’s really up?”
“I wanted to check on you. You’re wound a little tight. I thought it was just us giving you a hard time on Saturday, but it’s more. How come Emma wasn’t at the game?”
Tommy jumped between them. “She doesn’t come out on weeknights. She’s like an old lady or something.”
Sean’s hackles rose with need to defend Emma. “She has to get up early for work. At a school. Being hungover might impede her ability to teach five-year-olds.”
“Damn. College girl is twisting you all up. Using words like impede.”
“Shut the fuck up.” What had Sean been thinking about Tommy being his best friend? Maybe it was time to find a new one.
“Buy me a beer and I’m out of here.”
Sean handed Tommy his bottle. “Go.”
Kevin was already waving the bartender over. “Still sensitive about Emma, I see.”
“Frustrated, that’s all.”
“Well, sex is an excellent way to get rid of frustration.”
As if he hadn’t thought of that. But crawling back to Emma when she’d made it clear she was moving on was not happening.
“I’m guessing it’s not lack of sex, since you called her your fuck buddy. So what is it?”
The bartender delivered his fresh beer. Sean released a deep exhale and tried to figure out how to explain. “Emma wants to settle down and get married. I’m not into that. Don’t know if I ever will be.”
“But?”
“But I really like her.” If he was being honest with himself, it was more than a case of lustful like.
“So?”
Sean had forgotten how Kevin and Jimmy had away of conversing with single syllables. He couldn’t figure out how the two of them could ever talk.
“So she’s dating some other guy. Or guys. Looking for Mr. Right. Online, of all fucking places. As if all the same shitbirds aren’t online that she’d find at a bar. Just frustrating.”
“What is?”
“That I’m not good enough for her, but she believes these other assholes are.”
“Did she actually say you’re not good enough for her?” The sharp question bordered on angry. One thing the O’Malleys did well was stand up for each other.
“Calm your shit. She knows I’m good for the short term. That’s no secret.”
“If you care about her, tell her. It might change things.”
“It won’t.”
“How do you know?”
“Because in all the time we’ve spent together, she’s only called me once. She never looks for me. She waits for me to call or text or show up at her door. If she felt the same, she’d be a little more involved with being with me and a little less in developing her online profile.”
Kevin tipped his bottle in Sean’s direction. “You have a point.”
They both drank their beer and let the conversation fade. The O’Malleys didn’t do emotion all that well. Except anger.
“I told you on Saturday that if you want something different with Emma, you need to tell her. What is this online guy giving her that you’re not?”
“Fuck if I know.” He and Emma talked all the time. He texted her every day. They usually talked on the phone before going to bed at night. They had amazing sex. What the hell was she getting from this guy? He’d taken her out for lunch.
Sean felt Kevin’s eyes on him, but his big brother didn’t say anything. He waited for Sean to come up with an answer.
Finally, Kevin said, “Dude. You treat her like a fuck buddy. You show up and screw her and move on.”
“No. I mean, yeah, we fuck, but we talk all the time and hang out. She came to a couple of games.”
“So she’s a friend. With benefits. Which is like one step up from a fuck buddy.”
“There’s a difference?”
Kevin sighed with a shake of his head. “Jimmy really didn’t school you.”
“Jimmy’s never had a fuck buddy or a friend with benefits. He’s always been too busy taking care of the world.”
“A fuck buddy is fucking. You get along—usually—but it’s all about the sex. A friend with benefits is just what it says. Friends who have sex. But you look and act like you want more than a friend.”
Emma was more than a friend.
The thought hit him hard. He gulped the rest of his beer. He raised his hand to get the bartender’s attention. He needed another drink because the next thought hit him even harder.
It didn’t matter that he thought they had something more than friends with benefits. Emma kept him at a distance. As open and honest as she was while they were fucking, she held back on everything else.
She never called and asked him to come over.
Kevin slapped his back. “Figure something out?”
“Yeah. I might not take her on dates like this Internet tool does, but she doesn’t call me and ask me to come over or to go out with her. In fact, she’s never introduced me to anyone other than her mom and brother.”
“You’ve met her family?”
“Don’t get excited. I invited myself to her family dinner, and she doesn’t even like them. She loves them. They’re family, so she takes care of them, but . . . I don’t know how to explain it. Her family is like us. Working class. But Emma doesn’t want to be that. She’s doing everything she can to escape it.”
“What’s wrong with being working class?” Kevin slid his empty bottle toward the edge of the bar for the bartender.
“Nothing for me. I’ll probably be working class my whole life. It wasn’t enough for you and Jimmy. That’s why you went to college, right? To have a career that would take you to middle class.”
“Nah. I went to college because I had nothing else to do. Having a career is just a bonus.”
; The bartender set another bottle in front of Kevin. Sean knew it was more than that. While he didn’t know exactly what Kevin did, he worked for the city and enjoyed it.
“For Emma, college was the way to find security. She goes out to a bar with her teacher friends every week, and she’s never once invited me. When I asked about it, she said I wouldn’t have any fun with them. She doesn’t want me to meet them.”
“Give her reason to. Show her she’s not just a friend with benefits.”
How the fuck was he supposed to do that? She’d given him the very clear message that she didn’t want anything more from him.
“So who’s the one who got away? I’ve been trying to think of any chick you were with long enough for it to be the real deal and I’ve got nothing.”
Kevin stared at his bottle and picked at the label. “You remember Kathy?”
Sean squinted in thought. “How long ago?”
“Five years.”
The shift in conversation eased the knot in Sean’s chest. He was more than happy to switch topics and stop thinking about Emma for awhile. “Five years? Hell, no wonder why I have no idea who she is. I was too busy partying.”
“No, you met her. She’s Moira’s friend. Crazy curly hair. Fucking hot body. She came to the block party that summer.”
Kevin’s gaze drifted off to the mirror behind the bar. Sean vaguely remembered her. He hadn’t pegged it as something serious, but then again, back then he’d been oblivious to anything going on with his brothers.
“Is this why you’re always fucking with Moira? Does she know you’re in love with her friend?”
“Aw, hell, no. I mess with Moira because it’s fun. I’ve been doing it so long, I don’t know how not to. Don’t say a damn thing to her. I’ll never hear the end of it.”
“Hmm. Jimmy thought you had a thing for Moira. Like when you’re a kid and you pull a girl’s hair because you want the attention.”
“I did pull her hair. And maybe part of me thought at some point I might’ve had a shot with her, but no more than any other woman I meet. But then seeing her and Jimmy together, I could never go back down that path.”
Sean laughed. “Man, last summer, I picked up this chick who was all hot to come over to the house and get busy. I was down to my underwear when I found out she’d been with Jimmy and was using me to see if she could get with him again.”
Kevin snorted and spewed beer on the bar. Sean tossed some napkins at him.
“How did I not hear about this?”
Sean shrugged. “Guess that’s what happens when you’re too busy living your own life with your fancy job and apartment.” As soon as Kevin was composed, he went on, “To top it off, when I told her to get out, Jimmy said I should follow her because she had sticky fingers. After that, I told Jimmy to post a list of girls he’d been with so no one would make that mistake again.”
Kevin laughed so hard this time that tears formed at the corners of his eyes. “I want to see the list.”
“Hell, you think he did it? No. It’s a roll of the dice every time I go out.”
“Jimmy ever hang out here?”
Sean took a sip of beer and shook his head.
“Good. I’m going to introduce myself to some ladies.”
“Have at it.” Sean watched his brother walk away. He had too much on his mind. Everything Kevin had said about him wanting Emma was dead-on. What was he supposed to do if he wanted her more than she wanted him?
He drained his beer and decided to do nothing. If Emma wanted him at all, the next move would have to be hers.
* * *
Emma tried dating. She really did. At least she thought she was putting in the effort. She’d gone on a minimum of six dates in the past week. She not only met up with Rick, but she even had dinner with Caleb from the bar. In addition, she had coffee dates with three guys and a chilly walk through Millennium Park with another guy.
The problem was she had chemistry with none of them. She wasn’t looking for fireworks, but she firmly believed she wouldn’t be able to settle down with a guy if they didn’t have chemistry. Two of the three coffee guys had called, and she wanted to try again, thinking that a real date ending in a kiss might spark the chemistry.
She sat at home on Sunday night, organizing her week and feeling incredibly lonely. It had been a week since she’d seen Sean, a week since she’d reminded him she planned to date other men. She hadn’t heard from him at all. They hadn’t texted or spoken before bed all week. She missed that.
She missed him.
Wasn’t that pitiful? She missed the one guy she’d already decided couldn’t be her boyfriend. She picked up her phone and thought about texting him, but decided to call because she wanted to hear his voice.
“Hey.”
His deep voice rumbled over the line, and she felt it under her skin, just like she had when she’d been in his arms and his lips had been on her neck.
“Hi.” She sounded more breathless and less nonchalant than she cared for, but whatever. “Haven’t heard from you.”
“Been busy. Haven’t you?”
The question was simple, but she heard the accusation. What happened to them having a good time with no jealousy involved? “Yeah, I guess.” She sighed. This wasn’t how she’d expected it to go. He was supposed to be happy she called. “How has your week been? All healed from the game?”
“Work is good. I was mostly healed, but Tuesday night’s game kicked my ass again. Still a little sore.”
“I wish I knew. I like watching. Not when you get beat up. I mean I like watching the game.”
His low chuckle did naughty things to her. “You like watching sweaty guys fight.”
“Sometimes.” Silence crept between them. “I missed you this week.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah. I didn’t want to. I wanted to go on my dates and find a great guy, but even though I haven’t seen you or talked to you all week, it was like you were right there. I could hear your little criticisms in my head.”
A burst of laughter rang in her ear.
“Not funny.”
“Sure it is. You’re admitting I was right and you find the same losers on the Internet that you find in person.”
“I didn’t say that. The guys I’ve gone out with this week were all really nice. I just didn’t give them a fair shot.”
“Are you gonna try again?”
“I feel like I should. Without your commentary, I might even get to the point of kissing one of them to see if there’s chemistry.”
“Babe, you’re in trouble if you think you need a kiss to feel the chemistry.”
She sighed. He was right. She should’ve called Barb if she wanted someone on her side. But she liked Sean. “I think they deserve a fair shot. A real date. More than coffee to test the waters.”
“Don’t I?”
His question was quiet but hung between them. Was he asking what she thought he was asking? Mr. I Don’t Do Any Kind of Commitment? “Don’t you what?”
“Deserve a fair shot. A real date.”
“What are you talking about? We’ve been out.”
“Yeah, but it was always hanging out as friends with the goal of having sex. I’ve never taken you on a date.”
Her heart pounded. She didn’t know what to say. Although they had a great time when they were together, it was never going to be anything serious. Her mind raced. A real date would change everything between them.
Finally, he said, “I’ll pick you up tomorrow at five-thirty for dinner. Wear something sexy.”
Then he hung up. She hadn’t agreed to a date. But she hadn’t told him he was crazy for suggesting it either. She stared at her phone. Nerves warred with excitement.
She jumped off the couch. She had nothing to lose. If Sean wanted a shot, she’d give him one. Then she went to her closet to find the sexiest outfit she owned.
* * *
Sean couldn’t believe his play had worked. Emma had come to her senses and called
him. She’d even admitted she missed him. That was pretty telling. He figured if she could call him, maybe he should follow Kevin’s advice and give her what she was looking for from the online dudes. He’d take her on a date.
If they were successful, then they could talk about how serious this was supposed to be. He wasn’t ready for marriage and everything she wanted, but they could try being a couple and see what happened.
He stood in the bathroom and scrubbed his hands. It didn’t seem to matter how many times he washed, there were always remnants of oil and grease. These weren’t the kind of hands guys who went to college had. Eating at a fancy restaurant—thanks to Moira—meant he had to look the part. He wanted Emma to be happy, so if he had to scrub his hands, he’d lose a layer of skin.
His closet had a limited selection, but he managed to find a decent pair of pants and a button-down shirt. The suit jacket he wore to funerals would have to do. Thankfully, Moira got him a reservation and told him what to wear without asking any other questions. A first for her.
He also knew he’d pay for that help later.
He dressed and drove to Emma’s apartment. When she answered the door, his mouth forgot how to work. She was gorgeous in a black dress that clung to every curve and made him want to peel it away.
Her eyes widened. “What? Too much? Not enough? You didn’t say where we were going.”
“Absolutely fucking perfect.” He tugged her hand to bring her closer, and he kissed her cheek. He knew if he went for her mouth, he would not only mess up her lipstick—chicks tended to not like that—but he’d also not want to stop. And tonight was about proving he was at least as good as any guy she’d hook up with from a stupid website.
She ran a finger down the front of his shirt. “You clean up nicely, Mr. O’Malley.”
“I’ll wear the nice clothes, but you can’t call me that. I’m not my dad.”
She stepped forward as if to leave. He stopped her. “It’s kind of cold out. Don’t you want a jacket?”
She smiled and brushed past him, leaving the scent of her perfume and lust in her wake. “If I get chilly, I’m sure you can warm me up.”
As she walked toward his car, he was struck stupid watching the sway of her hips and her luscious ass. He had no idea how he’d make it through the night without stripping her bare. In the car, they talked about their weeks, but Emma mentioned nothing about the dates she’d been on, so he gave her points for that.
In Your Arms Page 19
