‘You have a lovely family.’
‘Thank you. I know I’m lucky.’
‘You are.’
‘It seems a shame that she had to ask Dad though. That your own dad wasn’t here to do that with his daughter.’
As Hero’s body stiffened, he realised there was a raw nerve there. ‘He wouldn’t have deserved that honour, even if he had been alive.’
Nick felt the change in her breathing. So relaxed a moment before, and now short and staccato. The tension he’d felt drift away from her was back and he kicked himself for breaking the spell. Unsure what to do, he remained still, his arms around her loosely, leaving her free to move away from him, should she want to. Slowly he moved one thumb rhythmically back and forth over the bare arm beneath his hand.
Inside Hero’s head, memories spilled out. Memories that she had carefully stored away and done her best to hide. Her chest felt tight with hurt and anger that those memories still had the power within them to make her feel like she was nothing. Nothing but a burden.
‘I’m sorry if I said the wrong thing, Hero.’ Nick’s tone was low, almost a whisper, and even without looking at his face she knew it would be full of concern.
‘You didn’t.’
‘I know I’m a bloke, and therefore, at times will be able to put my foot in it whilst still being completely oblivious to that fact. But I’m pretty sure now isn’t one of those times.’
Hero’s thoughts raced, as Nick’s soft, deep voice wound itself around her as tangibly as his arms. Why wouldn’t those memories ever leave her? She knew they didn’t mean anything now – she’d proved they didn’t! She was the supermodel, Hero Scott. People paid thousands for her to endorse their product, or be photographed in their designs. People wanted her. They’d been wrong! What her mother had told her wasn’t true. She knew that now. So why? Why did she still feel as if she had to prove it every day of her life?
‘Talk to me.’
Hero shook her head. She couldn’t. She’d not even told Juliet the full truth that day when she’d been punished and humiliated at school for crying. And Nick Webster of all people? If she hadn’t told the few people on this earth she trusted, she was hardly going to air her dirty laundry to him, was she?
‘I was a mistake,’ she whispered, unsure of how, or why, those words were spilling out now.
‘A mistake?’ Nick replied. ‘In what way?’
‘Being born. Conceived at all.’
Nick hesitated, waiting to see if Hero was going to continue. When she remained silent, he encouraged her again.
‘Lots of babies who weren’t planned come into this world. They’re still loved. Once they’re here, it doesn’t really matter if they were part of a bigger plan or not.’
‘It mattered to my parents. Very much indeed.’
This time Nick remained silent, sensing that Hero needed the space and that she would fill it in her own time. He kept up the rhythmic touch of his thumb on her skin and waited.
‘I was seven the first time my mother told me outright. There had been plenty of hints before, but I hadn’t really understood what my parents had meant and Jules had always covered for them. No. That’s the wrong phrase. She wasn’t covering for them. She was protecting me. Being four years older, Jules had taken on that protective role that my parents had no interest in. But then, one day I was at home on my own. I don’t really think a child is supposed to be left alone at that age, but that was the last thing on my parents’ collective mind.
‘Anyway, I heard my mother come in and I thought I would make her a cup of tea. I’d watched the housekeeper do it enough times, so I knew exactly how she liked it, and in which cup. I thought if I could do that for her, she would be pleased with me. For once. So, I got everything ready, but as I reached up to get the cup from the cabinet, it slipped out of my hand, smashing into tiny pieces on the limestone floor. I just stood looking at it, my seven-year-old brain desperately working to think of a way I might be able to fix it.’
Nick kept up the soothing movement on Hero’s skin, but his jaw tensed as she spoke, feeling the confusion and pain her younger self had experienced. And he had a feeling it was about to get a lot worse.
‘Of course there was no way to fix it. It was far beyond that. Not to mention that my parents never had anything that wasn’t perfect. That was until I arrived, of course. My mother walked into the kitchen and looked at the floor which was now covered with the shattered bone china. I still had the saucer in my hand and she suddenly realised the mess on the floor had once been her favourite teacup. I think my father had bought it for her somewhere. I don’t remember now.’
Hero took a deep breath, and a faint shudder passed through her body. Nick tightened his hold, pressing his lips to her hair, wanting her to know that she didn’t need to be afraid anymore. His throat constricted as he heard the pain of that seven-year-old little girl come from the body of the grown woman now in his arms.
‘I don’t think I’d ever seen such coldness in someone’s eyes before. Or since.’ The statement was bald. Matter of fact.
‘I mean, before that my mother barely looked at me anyway. Juliet was always the one she addressed. My father wasn’t ever much interested in either of us. Anyway. My mother held out her hand towards me.’ Hero gave a small, mirthless laugh. ‘Stupidly, I thought she was putting her hand out for me to take hold of it. I reached for it and she snatched it back as though I’d burned her and then made things clearer for me. “Give me that, you stupid child.” And she’d pointed to the saucer I was still holding. I was crying by then. I still didn’t understand. Not then. But she made sure I would this time. I handed the saucer over as she’d asked. She looked at me for a second and then she lifted it high and brought it smashing down onto the tiles. I remember looking at all the mess, and just feeling … lost.’
Nick’s jaw was so tense, he could feel it radiating back into his skull, but he couldn’t stop it. He wanted to take away this woman’s pain. He wanted someone to have stepped in and taken away that young child’s pain. Resting his chin gently on the top of her head, he let her continue in her own time, his support silent but strong.
‘I tried to tell her I didn’t mean to do it. That it was an accident. She just glared at me and told me that I should know all about accidents as I’d been one. Obviously, I had no idea what she meant. Immediately realising that, she was kind enough to spell it out for me. They had only ever wanted one child, which was Juliet. Although, looking back now, Jules and I have come to the conclusion that having her had been more about keeping up with the Joneses, than from any true desire to actually have children. Apparently finding herself pregnant with me was one of the worst moments of her life, a feeling which was only compounded by being told that she was already too far along to “have things fixed”. I can only think that the expression on my face told her all of this was just horribly confusing to me which seemed to only make her even more cross. Apparently, it hadn’t even occurred to her that such things were not normally within the realm of understanding for a shy, seven-year-old girl. Luckily for me, she broke things down at that point and ensured that I understood I was just a terrible, terrible accident and she had begged for the doctor to help her get rid of me. How they had never, ever wanted another child and all I meant was that there was another mouth to feed, another schooling to pay for. Money that would have been far better spent on themselves rather than supporting a completely unwanted child. But no. Apparently I had to come along and ruin all their plans.’
Nick said nothing. What was there to say? He couldn’t even comprehend the cruelty behind the words and actions of this mother. This monster.
‘She didn’t say another word to me after that. Just turned on her heel and stalked out of the kitchen. I can still hear the noise the tiny shards of china made as she crushed them underfoot. I was still sweeping them up a little while later when Juliet got in from school. I had a china splinter stuck in my hand from where I’d run it over the floor, trying
to make sure I picked up every single bit, and she pulled it out for me. There were so many pieces and I was terrified that if I missed even one, my mother would come back and say something else horrible. I don’t know … I suppose it was a coping mechanism or something.’ She let out a sigh. ‘I expect a psychologist would have plenty to say about it.’ She glanced up at Nick and a fleeting, sad smile washed over her face. He closed his arms and held Hero close thinking that yes, they probably would. The first of which would be how the hell had she dealt with all that as well as she had?
When Nick had found out that his new sister-in-law had a high-profile supermodel sibling, he wasn’t exactly thrilled. Thoughts of some diva sailing in with her own entourage, and creating a drama out of every possible crisis, not to mention the possible invasion of privacy out on their station, hadn’t filled him with generous thoughts. Initially, he felt that his summations hadn’t been that far off the mark. OK, so she travelled alone and had only had one freak-out involving a large spider that had decided to take a rest in her en-suite bath. By the time he and Pete had run up the stairs on hearing screaming, Hero and her sister were clutching each other’s hands and had squeezed themselves in to the furthest part of the room where they were still able to keep tabs on the creature until it was safely evacuated.
Her personality though had been more of an enigma. During the past couple of weeks, Nick had given up trying to figure her out. There was so much going on beneath that calm, beautiful surface. So much that it seemed she was determined no one would see. Until now. He didn’t know if it was the fact she felt like an outsider, alone within this crowd, or if it was the champagne which had caused her to drop her guard. Either way, he’d just got an insight into Hero Scott that explained a hell of a lot.
‘What did Juliet say when you told her what happened?’
She shook her head. ‘I didn’t tell her.’
Nick sat straighter and moved so that he could see Hero’s face. ‘What do you mean you didn’t tell her?’
She shrugged. ‘She was eleven years old. What was she going to do?’
‘But you were only seven! That’s a hell of a conversation for a child to have had! Did you tell anyone?’
Again, she shook her head. ‘No. Never. I don’t … I don’t know why I just told you.’ Suddenly she pushed herself further away, looking into Nick’s gaze, intensity shining in her eyes. ‘And you can’t tell Juliet! Or anyone! You have to promise!’ She was breathing rapidly, her voice changing in pitch as the reality of having told her secret now dawned on her.
Nick watched her expression change as it did. Suddenly she was that seven-year-old girl again, terrified of saying the wrong thing. Doing the wrong thing. He took her face between his palms and held her gaze, waiting as her breathing slowed.
‘I won’t say anything. I promise. But you should tell Jules. At some point.’
‘Why?’
‘Because she’d want to know.’
‘There’s no reason to now though.’ Her voice was soft, and her words almost a question. As though she wanted permission to lock this terrible, hurtful memory back in the dusty box where it had lingered for all this time. Her eyes searched his, dry but with a haunting expression that made his blood boil at the cruelty she had endured, and his heart burst at the knowledge that all he really wanted to do now was show her what real love was. A love that helped you grow and become the person you’re supposed to be. The kind that let your heart soar and only ever grew more and more each day. As he pulled her close again, his mind filled with one thought. Would she stay?
Chapter 6
Nick got his answer to that the following morning. As he padded bleary-eyed down the stairs, he saw a Louis Vuitton suitcase standing by the door and followed the sound of lowered voices into the kitchen. His brother and Juliet sat at the table looking as tired as he was. Opposite them, with her back to the door, sat Hero. As the other two greeted him, she made no movement. He crossed the kitchen, heading for the coffee pot, screwing his eyes up as he went.
‘Is it always this bright in here?’ he grumbled, wrestling with the hangover from yesterday’s champagne before pouring himself a large mug of the rich, black steaming liquid. ‘Anyone else want one?’
At this prompt, his brother held out his mug with one hand whilst his other still massaged his forehead. Nick took the mug and turned back to the table, placing it back down in front of Pete before carrying his own to the table and sitting heavily down on the chair. Throughout all of this, Hero had neither spoken a word, nor looked up at him. Even now, she kept her glance away from his, concentrating instead on the mobile phone in front of her.
‘Good morning,’ he said, briefly leaning a little closer so that there was no doubt as to whom he spoke.
He saw her swallow before tripping out a casual, ‘Morning.’ Well, as casual as it got with that plummy voice. The glance she gave to accompany it was so brief as to be almost non-existent. Nick felt his muscles tighten. Last night they’d shared secrets, but this morning Hero was back behind that damn mask of indifference. The shy, vulnerable woman he’d discovered yesterday, the real her, was gone. Just as he was finally getting to know her. He rolled his neck, trying to loosen the knotted muscles.
‘What’s with the case out there?’ He nodded towards the hall. ‘I thought you were staying on a bit after the wedding, until these two jet off to Bali?’
Hero picked up the phone and began typing something. ‘Yes, initially. Change of plan.’
‘Right.’ Nick took a sip of the coffee. ‘Pretty last minute, isn’t it?’
‘A bit.’ She was still avoiding looking at him.
‘What is it then? Emergency photo shoot?’
Across the table, Pete gave him a warning glance, shaking his head briefly to try and steer his brother away.
‘Something like that,’ Hero replied after a couple of beats.
‘Right. So, how you getting to the airport?’
‘I’m taking Hero to town and she’s going to catch the bus from there,’ Pete answered.
‘Is that why you’re necking coffee like it’s going out of fashion? Excuse the pun.’ He glanced at Hero. ‘I’d have thought you’d be spending the day after your wedding just lounging about with your new wife until you leave for Bali tomorrow? Wasn’t that why we sorted out coverage for the station in the first place?’ No one could miss the controlled tension in Nick’s voice.
Hero shifted in her seat.
‘Yep,’ Pete agreed, ‘but Hero’s plans changed. These things happen.’
‘And when they do, we all have to jump into line? Is that how it’s going to be here now?’ Nick shoved his chair back from the table.
Hero had kept her head down throughout the exchange, but as the chair scraped sharply, she jumped and met Nick’s eyes. For that moment, he saw her. He saw the woman who’d opened up to him last night. The woman he wanted to know more about. The woman he wanted. And then she was gone. Back behind that blank expression where she thought no one could hurt her. Did she know that by doing that she was hurting others? Did she even care?
‘Of course not,’ Hero spoke, those cool tones completely under control with none of the fire that currently raged within his own body. ‘I had no intention of putting anyone out, and I have said that I would rather get a car sent but Pete kindly offered to take me.’
Nick searched the beautiful eyes for the smallest sign that last night’s soul baring had sparked something in her as it had within him, but there was nothing. Hero stood more carefully than he had, tucking the chair back under the kitchen table.
‘I still can’t believe you don’t have a hangover,’ Juliet grouched at her sister. ‘You can’t have had much.’
‘Oh, I had plenty. Probably a couple of glasses too many, actually.’ She bent and kissed her sister’s head. As she stood, her eyes met Nick’s and he understood the message. It was the champagne talking, not me. None of it meant anything.
She looked back at Pete and Juliet. ‘I r
eally can sort out transport, you know. Nick’s right. You two should be here together.’
‘Don’t be daft. It’s no problem.’ Pete squeezed his new sister-in-law about the shoulders. Juliet smiled. ‘Of course, we’d rather you stayed a little longer, but I know you already turned down work to be out here the last couple of weeks anyway.’
‘Nick’s just throwing his toys out because he feels crap,’ Pete added.
Hero gave a brief smile at Pete and nodded. Nick turned his back and stared out of the kitchen window, drinking his coffee as Pete and Juliet went upstairs to get ready. His thoughts raced back to the previous night when Hero was soft, and open. She’d showed him her heart and he’d felt so privileged, knowing how hard it must have been for her. He thought that they’d taken that step together. As the night cooled, they’d gone back into the party together, but in the crush and laughter of the proceedings, her hand had slipped from his. When the party eventually wound down, he found her again, but she’d looked completely exhausted. They’d all climbed into one of the taxis they’d arranged and headed back to the station, hugging each other goodnight. It had been a wonderful, joyous day, and Nick had thought – hoped – that it might be the start of something else wonderful. But Hero’s behaviour this morning couldn’t have sent a clearer message. She’d said nothing yesterday about needing to cut her visit short, and he didn’t believe for one minute there was any reason except that she regretted letting him get so close.
Nick turned, leaning on the edge of the worktop and watched Hero for a moment. She slid the phone into the side pocket of a small handbag.
‘Got your passport?’
Hero nodded. ‘Yes. Thank you.’
He shrugged. ‘I just don’t want my brother wasting any more time and petrol if you have to come back.’
A flash of something passed across Hero’s face as she straightened her stance.
Nick pinched the bridge of his nose with this thumb and forefinger. ‘Sorry. I shouldn’t have said that.’
Second Chance At the Ranch Page 8
