Wayne swallowed against the lump in his throat. He knew he hadn’t been trusting in God these last few months. He’d been wallowing in self-pity and was full of doubts. His understanding of things had pulled him down to the pit of despair. He hadn’t acknowledged God or allowed Him to direct his paths, either. He’d been trying to do everything in his own strength, irritated when others wanted to help. He’d been ashamed of his appearance and embarrassed and concerned about what others thought because he only had one leg. He’d felt incapable of becoming a husband because he thought he was only half a man.
Wayne turned over to the book of Isaiah and read chapter 50, verse 7: “For the Lord God will help me; therefore shall I not be confounded: therefore have I set my face like a flint, and I know that I shall not be ashamed.”
He set the Bible aside and closed his eyes. Maybe my situationisn’t hopeless, Lord. Just as the stump of my leg has begun to heal, my emotional wounds need to heal as well. I realize now that You’ve been with me all the time, helping me to get through each day. Please help me learn to accept my limitations and be thankful for the things I’m able to do.
Wayne thought about how, for the last few weeks, he’d been helping Pop in his taxidermy business. To his surprise, he’d found that he rather enjoyed the work, and they were making a decent living. He’d adjusted fairly well to the prosthesis, too, so maybe getting married and raising a family wasn’t an impossible thing.
He winced as he pulled the covers aside and crawled into bed. Loraine’s the only woman I’d ever want to marry, but it’s too late for us now that she and Jake are back together. She deserves to be happy, so I won’t come between them. Loraine and Jake will never know how I feel.
***
Tears sprang to Ella’s eyes as she sat near the fireplace, rocking in her chair, and thinking about Loraine and the things she’d said when Jake had come to pick Loraine up for their date.
I only want to help her, she silently moaned. I don’t want to see her get hurt again. Ella’s tears trickled down her cheeks and splashed onto the front of her robe. She was glad the rest of the family had gone to bed. She was supposed to be the strong one and didn’t want anyone to see her give in to her tears.
Loraine and I have always been so close, but since the accident, we’ve been drifting further and further apart. She squeezed her eyes shut. Is it my fault, Lord? Am I the reason Loraine’s been pulling away?
When Ella opened her eyes, she saw Dad’s Bible lying on the coffee table, where he’d placed it after they’d done their family devotions earlier this evening. What was that verse of scripture Dad read? Ella had been so upset with Loraine and Jake when she’d come home, she hadn’t really listened to much of anything during devotions.
Ella rose from her chair and picked up the Bible. Then, taking a seat on the sofa, she opened it to the place that had been marked with a narrow piece of ribbon. It was the book of Proverbs, and Dad had underlined verse 24 of chapter 18. “A man that hath friends must shew himself friendly: and there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother.”
The words swam on the page because of Ella’s tears. She’d been trying to be a good friend to Loraine, but everything she said seemed to be taken the wrong way. Why can’t Loraine see that Jake isn’t the right man for her? Why won’t she listen to my warnings? Doesn’t she realize she’s walking on dangerous ground?
Ella flipped through a few more pages, until her gaze came to rest on another verse Dad had underlined: “A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in pictures of silver.”
She continued to read several more verses that had been underlined, and swallowed on the sob rising in her throat when she read Proverbs 27:15: “A continual dropping in a very rainy day and a contentious woman are alike.”
“I’ve been a contentious woman and have been going about trying to help Loraine in all the wrong ways,” she murmured. “If I want Loraine to remain my friend, then I need to keep quiet about Jake. It’s Loraine’s life, and she has to make her own decisions without interference from me. From now on, I’ll keep my opinions and concerns to myself.”
***
As Jake headed down the road toward home, he couldn’t stop thinking about Loraine and the way he’d felt being with her tonight. He only hoped his unexpected kiss hadn’t driven her away. Since he’d recently purchased a couple of thoroughbred horses, he figured if things went well with Loraine and he was able to get his business going soon, in a few more months, he might be in a position to ask her to marry him. The question that nagged him the most, though, was whether Loraine might still be in love with Wayne.
Directing his focus on the road ahead, Jake decided he would stop worrying and commit his future to God.
He was almost home when he spotted a couple of horses running down the road. It was too dark to see what color they were, but he had a sinking feeling they were his.
He pulled his horse and buggy onto the shoulder of the road and was about to get out and investigate, when he spotted a semi-truck barreling down the road in the opposite lane.
Jake’s heart leaped into his throat. Before he had the chance to react, the truck slammed on its brakes, skidded several feet, and plowed into the first horse, knocking it to the side of the road. The second horse, obviously panicked, reared up, and rammed into the side of the truck.
Jake let out a yelp, jumped from his buggy, and dashed into the road, where the truck had stopped.
The driver got out, and stood there, shaking his head. “I didn’t see the horses until it was too late.” He looked over at Jake. “Are they yours?”
Jake nodded, as the headlights from the truck made the horses clearly visible. They were his! What a horrible ending to an otherwise perfect day!
CHAPTER 35
“I still can’t believe my horses got out on the road last night,” Jake said as he took a seat at the breakfast table. “One horse is dead, and the other one injured so bad it might never fully recover.” He groaned. “I’ll never get my business going at this rate.”
“Maybe you need to accept the fact that you might not be able to have your horse ranch here,” Dad said. “You oughta be thankful you’ve got a job working for me.”
“I’ve already told you, I don’t want to shoe horses for the rest of my life. I want to raise and train horses.” Jake looked over at his three younger brothers. “When I left to take Loraine out to supper last night, my horses were both in the corral, and the gate was closed. Did any of you open the gate?”
Vern and Kyle, the two youngest boys, shook their heads.
“I never went near the corral last night, either,” Elmer said.
“Well, somebody had to open that gate!” Jake frowned. “It sure didn’t open itself and let the horses out.”
“Maybe it blew open in the wind,” Jake’s sister Marilyn spoke up.
Jake shook his head. “That’s not likely since there wasn’t any wind last night. I’m sure someone in this family opened that gate and they’re just sittin’ here, afraid to tell.” He eyeballed his brothers again.
“That’s enough with the blaming,” Dad said in a stern voice. “The horses got out, and we don’t know how, so let’s just leave it at that.”
“That’s easy enough for you to say,” Jake mumbled. “They weren’t your horses.”
“Even if they had been my horses, I wouldn’t be trying to put the blame on someone else for what happened.” Dad put both hands on the table, and locked his fingers together. “Now, let’s pray.”
As Jake bowed his head with the others, all he could think to pray about was his situation with Loraine. He had to see her today. Had to find out if she was upset with him for kissing her last night. Had to know if there was any chance that they might have a future together.
I’ll go over to her place later today, he decided. Or maybe I’ll stop by the Lambrights’ around five o’clock. Loraine might be fixing dinner for them.
***
“I’ll be going over to the Lamb
rights’ after I get off work again today,” Loraine told her mother as she set the table for breakfast.
“I wish you wouldn’t go over there so often,” Mom said, reaching for her choring apron.
“Ada still needs help.” Loraine grabbed three napkins from the basket in the center of the table.
“I realize that, since I, too, have been helping out there. Even so, I don’t think it’s good for you to hang around Wayne so much.” Mom sighed. “I know the main reason you keep going over there is because you’re hoping he’ll change his mind about breaking up with you.”
Loraine let the napkins fall to the table and whirled around to face her mother. “I’m not trying to get Wayne to change his mind. Fact is, I’ve changed my mind.”
“What do you mean?”
“I’ve decided to give Jake a chance. If he asks me out again, I’m going to say yes.”
Mom smiled and moved over to the stove. “Now that is good news.”
Loraine took a pitcher of grape juice from the refrigerator and set it on the table. She could understand why Mom might like Jake better than Wayne. He was a lot more pleasant to talk to, and he always had a joke or funny story to tell. Still, Wayne had his good points, too—or at least he used to before the accident. Too bad Mom couldn’t be more supportive of Wayne. Maybe with a little encouragement, Loraine might not have given up on Wayne herself. Maybe Mom could have even put in a good word with Ada on Loraine’s behalf. But no, she just took her turn at helping and never said a thing.
Loraine poured juice into one of the glasses and took a drink, hoping to push down the lump that had lodged itself in her throat. Ella, who was supposed to be one of her best friends, wasn’t supportive or understanding, either. Mom wanted her to get together with Jake, and every chance Ella got, she tried to convince Loraine that Jake was no good for her. Well, Ella and Mom could think whatever they wanted. After mulling things over last night, despite the fact that she’d gotten no clear answers from God, Loraine had made her decision.
***
Wayne poured the last bit of coffee from his cup down the sink and glanced out the window just as a young Amish woman pedaled up the driveway on a bicycle. He squinted, trying to make out who she was, but she was too far away to know for sure.
He waited at the window until she drew closer, and when she stopped her bike near the house and got off, he realized it was Fern Bontrager.
What’s Fern doing here? he wondered. Last I heard, she was living in Ohio.
He went to the door and opened it just as she stepped onto the porch.
“Hello, Wayne.” Fern smiled shyly. “It’s good to see you again.”
He gave a nod. “I didn’t realize you were in the area. Has your family moved back to Indiana?”
Fern shook her head. “My folks still live in Ohio, but my brother Freeman and I are moving here.”
“Oh?”
She nodded. “I’ll be teaching at the schoolhouse where Jolene Yoder taught before she lost her hearing, and Freeman hopes to open a bike shop.”
“I see.” Wayne leaned against the doorjamb, feeling the need for a little support. He remembered how, when he and Fern had been going out together, Mom had said she really liked Fern and hoped she and Wayne might get married someday. He figured Mom would probably be happy to hear that Fern was moving back, but he hoped she wouldn’t have any ideas about him and Fern getting together again. He wasn’t sure why Mom had always liked Fern so well. Maybe it was because she was such a compliant person and had always agreed with everything Mom said.
“I heard about the horrible accident you and your friends were in,” Fern said. “I felt bad when I learned that you’d lost a leg because of it.”
Wayne lifted his pant leg enough to reveal his prosthesis. “Thanks to this, I’m able to walk at least.”
“It’s really good that things like that are made available to people who lose a limb.”
Wayne nodded. “They’re expensive, though.”
“I can only imagine. Did you have help from the community paying for it?” she asked.
“Jah. They held an auction, and even though it was cut short because of a fire in the building, enough money came in to help with everyone’s medical expenses.”
“That’s good to hear.” Fern’s forehead wrinkled. “I saw Loraine Miller and Jake Beechy at Tiffany’s restaurant last night. I was surprised to see them together. The last I’d heard, you and Loraine were engaged to be married, and Jake was living in Montana.”
Wayne shrugged. “Loraine and I broke up, and now she’s seeing Jake again.”
“Oh, I see.”
A harsh wind whistled under the eaves of the porch, causing Fern to shiver and pull her jacket tightly around her neck. “The weather sure is unpredictable these days. One day it’s too warm for fall, and the next day it almost feels like winter.”
Wayne nodded. “Why don’t you come in out of the cold? I’m sure my mamm will be glad to see you.”
“I’d like to see her as well.” Fern stepped into the house, and Wayne shut the door.
“Mom broke her leg a few weeks ago, so she’s not up to doing much yet.” Wayne motioned to the door leading to the living room. “You’ll find her in there.”
Fern gave him a curious stare. “Aren’t you coming in to visit with us?”
Wayne shifted uneasily. He had no desire to listen to Mom gush over Fern, but he didn’t want to appear impolite, either. “Jah, sure,” he said, feigning a smile. “I guess I can sit and visit awhile.”
When they stepped into the living room, Mom’s face broke into a wide smile. “Fern Bontrager! What a pleasant surprise! I had no idea you were back in town.”
“I’ve been hired to teach at the schoolhouse in this district,” Fern explained.
“Ach, that’s wunderbaar!” Mom patted the sofa cushion beside her. “Come, sit and tell me all about it.”
Fern removed her jacket and took a seat beside Mom. Wayne seated himself in the recliner across from them. For the next several minutes he listened to Fern tell about her folks and how much they enjoyed living in Ohio. When Fern finally came up for air, Mom jumped right in.
“Did you hear about the accident Wayne and his friends were in?”
Fern nodded soberly. “My folks found out when they read about it in The Budget. We were sorry to hear that some lost their lives.”
“It’s been a sad time for all.” Mom looked over at Wayne with a doting expression. “We’re very grateful that our son is alive, even though his leg had to be amputated because of his injuries.”
“She knows about that, too,” Wayne said, “But let’s not go into the details, okay?”
Mom’s pinched expression let him know that she’d planned to do just that, but he was relieved when she nodded and relaxed against the sofa pillows.
“I can’t tell you how much I’ve missed our visits,” she said, patting Fern’s arm. “As soon as you get settled in, you’ll have to come over for supper some evening.” She glanced back at Wayne. “It’ll give you two a chance to get reacquainted.”
Fern said nothing, and Wayne looked around the room, wishing there was a hole in the floor so he could crawl right in it.
“Do you need a place to stay while you’re here, Fern?” Mom asked. “Because if you do—”
“My bruder, Freeman, and I will be staying with our grandma, Sara Bontrager.”
“Is Freeman moving here with you?”
Fern nodded. “He’s hoping to open his own bike shop.”
Mom smiled. “That sounds exciting. We can always use another bike shop in the area.”
For the next several minutes, Wayne listened to Mom and Fern gab on and on, but when Mom started dropping hints about what a good wife Fern would make for some lucky fellow, he decided it was time to take his leave.
“If you two will excuse me,” he said, rising to his feet, “I need to get out to the taxidermy shop. Pop’s planning to work on a baby fox that was brought in by one o
f our English neighbors, so I’d better not keep him waiting.”
Mom pursed her lips. “Oh, but I thought—”
“It’s been nice seeing you again, Fern.” Wayne hurried from the room.
***
When Ella entered the hardware store, she was relieved to see Loraine behind the counter waiting on a middle-aged English woman. After the decision she’d made last night, she needed to talk to Loraine and make things right.
She waited over by the rack of books until the customer had paid for her purchases and left the store, and then she quickly stepped up to the counter. “I’m glad you’re working today, because I need to tell you something,” she said, leaning as close to Loraine as the counter between them would allow.
Loraine tapped her fingers along the edge of the cash register. “If you’re here to give me another lecture about Jake, you can save your breath; I’ve already made my decision.”
“What decision?”
“About me and Jake.” Loraine’s voice lowered to a whisper. “Since Wayne has made it more than clear that he doesn’t love me anymore, I’ve decided to give Jake a chance. That is, if he wants to continue seeing me,” she quickly added.
Ella leaned against the counter, too dumbfounded to say a word. Even though she’d planned to tell Loraine that she wouldn’t say negative things about Jake anymore, she hadn’t expected to hear such a declaration.
“Aren’t you going to say something?” Loraine asked, nudging Ella’s arm. “I’m sure what I said is not what you were hoping to hear; am I right about that?”
Ella slowly shook her head. “It’s not what I’d like to hear, but I’ve been doing some thinking and praying, and I’ve come to realize that it’s your life, not mine.” She forced a smile. “So if you think Jake will make you happy, then it’s none of my business.”
Loraine’s mouth gaped open as she stared at Ella in disbelief. “Do you really mean that?”
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