by Mina Carter
The smell of his cologne, his lips, the way he touched her --- it was all the same. It was Jack. Her mind could trick her so easily into thinking that.
His fingers swept over her breasts and then began to fumble with the zipper of her jacket. "Stop. No," Jane protested.
But he continued until her jacket was unzipped. His hand went under her tank top and felt her breasts. She moaned softly, her body betraying her mind. "Matt, wait," she said. His mouth covered hers, silencing her pleas.
His fingertips dipped down between her legs and rubbed her through her pants. She wiggled under him, trying to get him to stop, but he pressed his weight on top of her and held her there. "I want you so bad," he whispered. Then his mouth was on hers again.
Finally, breaking free of his kiss, she cried loudly, "Matt, stop!"
He stared down at her as he sat up. "I'm sorry," he said. "I’m so sorry, Jane."
He reached for her, but she moved away from him. She dashed away the tears from her eyes. "We both had too much to drink," she said, although she didn't know if she could completely blame the alcohol. She swallowed hard. "It's okay."
Matt stood and walked out of the room, leaving her alone in the dark. Her shallow breaths filled the quiet room. There were a few minutes that she thought Matt wasn't going to stop. He had really scared her. After her breathing finally calmed, she curled up on the bed and went to sleep.
CHAPTER TWENTY
THE DRIVE HOME Sunday afternoon was awkward, and Matt and Jane barely talked the entire way back to her house. Her ankle had slowly started to feel better, and she was able to put weight on it without it hurting too much.
Matt pulled the car into her driveway and parked it. He jumped out and grabbed her bag from the trunk.
Jane climbed out of the car and saw that Sebastian was swimming in his pool. His strong, muscular arms paddled through the water, and Jane couldn't help but stare.
"You have a new neighbor already?" Matt asked.
Jane nodded, quickly averting her gaze from the pool. "His name is Sebastian Alexander."
He glanced around the yard. "No family?" he asked.
"No. Just him."
Matt huffed. "Why would he move in a house like that by himself?"
Jane could tell Matt was jealous, and she chose to ignore it. "I don't know." She took her bag from him. "I can take it from here. Thanks, Matt."
"Listen, Jane, about last night ---."
She put her hand up to stop him. " We both drank way too much. Let's just forget it even happened."
He smiled weakly. "Consider it forgotten then." He pulled her in for an embrace. "I'll talk to you soon," he whispered in her hair.
Jane broke the hug and said, "Okay. Talk to you soon."
She watched Matt leave and waved as he beeped before disappearing down the street. She felt a heavy burden being lifted off of her when he left.
"Hey, Jane!" Sebastian called.
She turned to see him climbing out of the pool. His entire body was soaking wet, and his black shorts clung to him in such a way that made her blush. His muscular chest was bare, and she had to force her jaw to keep from dropping to the ground. "Hi, Sebastian."
"How was your weekend?"
Jane considered the question. It had had its ups and downs. She closed her eyes and thought about the night before with Matt. "It was all right," she said quietly.
He frowned. "I see."
They stared at each other, and finally Jane had to break the gaze. "Well, I'm tired, so I'm going to head in."
"Yeah. Sure. I'll talk to you later."
* * *
Jane spent the rest of the evening cleaning the house. Cleaning helped to take her mind off of what had happened with Matt. At ten o'clock, she took a long hot bath, which helped to ease the remaining pain in her ankle.
After the bath, she put on a pair of frumpy sweatpants that were a size too big and a short-sleeve t-shirt that had seen better days. Yawning, she crossed the bedroom. She closed the curtains of two of the windows. She paused when she got to third window by her bed, which faced Sebastian's house. His curtains were open, and she could see right into his bedroom. Within a few seconds, the lights turned on, and he walked into the room. He too was getting ready for bed. He was wearing silk pajama bottoms and a tight white t-shirt that showed off his muscular physique.
He went to the window to pull the curtains, but stopped short of drawing them closed. He smiled and waved.
She waved back.
Goodnight, he mouthed.
Goodnight, she mouthed back.
They both drew the curtains. Jane glanced down at her outfit with disgust. She hadn't had a reason to look good for bed for a while. A smile crept across her face. Perhaps she would go shopping the next day and pick out some new sleepwear.
* * *
On Monday, Jane walked into the bookstore carrying a few shopping bags from a boutique in town. Ashley watched Jane carefully. "What are you so happy about?"
Jane looked at her. "What do you mean?"
"You're smiling. You know, come to think of it, you've been smiling almost nonstop for about a week." She raised a brow. "It's starting to creep me out a little," she joked.
Jane laughed. "Sorry. I just…I feel happy."
She grinned. "Could your incredibly hot next-door neighbor be the cause of that?" Jane started to protest, but Ashley quickly said, "You've been acting like this ever since he came into town." She stared at the bags. "Shopping trip?"
Jane nodded. She explained what had happened the night before with Sebastian seeing her in the frumpiest pajamas ever. "I want to be prepared in case it happens again."
"So you like him," Ashley stated.
"No," Jane said quickly. "I just don't want him seeing me dressed like an old maid." She paused and thought about it. Maybe subconsciously she did want Sebastian to think she was sexy.
"Oh," Ashley said. She opened a bag and held up a satin cami with black lace and matching boy shorts. "Whoa! That is hot!"
Jane quickly grabbed the items, returned them to the bag and made sure there were no customers around.
"Well, if you want to make an impression, I'd say that will do it," Ashley said.
Jane laughed. "Like I said, I just wanted to have something nice to wear in case he does see me."
"So how was your weekend?" Ashley asked.
Jane shrugged. "Okay I guess." She quickly changed the subject and asked, "How did everything go with the store?"
"Good. It got busy, but I managed."
"I really appreciate your help, Ashley."
"No problem."
The bell above the door rang, and a young man walked in. "I'll go see if he needs any help," Ashley said with a wink.
Jane smiled and shook her head. She decided to put her focus on the sales and inventory from over the weekend. As she went through the numbers and book titles, her mind kept wandering to Sebastian. She glanced at the clock and couldn't wait for the day to be over so she could see him again.
* * *
That night, Jane got ready for bed. She pulled on a dark red cami and matching boy shorts. She walked to the window to draw the curtains. A few seconds later, Sebastian was at his window. He stopped and stared at her. His mouth fell open slightly, and he quickly closed it shut and smirked.
A smile crept across her face. "Goodnight," she said, giving him a little wave and drawing the curtains closed.
She giggled and leapt into the bed, drawing the covers over her. She felt a sense of satisfaction by knowing that he found her sexy.
For the first time since Jack had died, she felt butterflies in her stomach over another guy. She pulled the covers up farther and caught a glimpse of her wedding ring. Her mood instantly darkened. In a way, she felt like she was betraying Jack, and suddenly the butterflies disappeared. She felt awful.
Feeling torn, her mind swam with doubt. Sebastian knew absolutely nothing about her. He didn't realize all the baggage she brought to the table. How can you g
et to know someone when they don’t even know their real name?
She decided at that moment to stop the flirting altogether. Getting close to Sebastian would only bring her pain, and that was something she needed less of in her life. Satisfied with her decision, she closed her eyes and dozed off.
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
OVER THE NEXT few days, Jane went to all costs to avoid seeing Sebastian, and she broke the routine of saying goodnight to him before bedtime. Each morning, she left the curtains closed, blocking out the light and also any chance of Sebastian catching a glimpse of her at night. The thought of seeing him made her uncomfortable. For all she knew, he had a hot model girlfriend…or several, and he probably had no interest in her whatsoever.
She spent as much time as she could in the bookstore to take her mind off of him. She went in early and stayed late, and her plan had worked flawlessly until that day. She was stocking a bookshelf when the bell rang above the door.
"Hello, Jane," Sebastian said. His voice was cool and smooth and sent a shiver up her spine.
"Hi," she managed to say. She continued stocking the shelf, not able to force herself to look at him. She tried to convince herself that it was better this way. It would be easier to end things now than try to develop a relationship and have things end later when emotions and feelings were involved.
He walked over to her and stood inches away, leaning a hand against the bookcase. "I haven't seen you around lately. I wanted to make sure everything was all right."
"Uh, yeah. I've just been…busy. A lot's been going on with the store, you know," she lied.
"Sure," he said, unconvinced.
He reached out and grabbed the book out of her hand that she was about to place on the shelf. She took another book from the box, and he grabbed that book too. "Sebastian," she started, but he didn't let her finish.
"You've been ignoring me," he said, setting the books down. "And I don't like it."
"I don't know what you're talking about," she whispered.
"Look at me," he demanded.
Jane's eyes slowly met his. He took her hand in his, and she felt that familiar electric charge between them. He literally made her weak in the knees. Not being able to think of anything else to say, she uttered, "I'm sorry."
"Nothing to be sorry about." He tipped her chin up so that her eyes met his. "Why do you pretend not to like me?"
She tried to look away from him, but he kept his finger under her chin. "I--I don' t know," she managed.
"Yes, you do. Tell me."
His minty breath was on her lips. She swallowed hard. "To keep myself safe."
"You think I will hurt you?"
"No." She paused. "Yes." She closed her eyes. "I don't know."
He leaned in close to her. "I will never hurt you, Jane," he whispered in her ear. His fingers glided against hers as he continued to touch her hand. "Do you feel the connection between us?" he asked.
"Yes," she whispered, breathlessly. "I feel it every time you touch me."
He grinned. "As do I."
The bell above the door rang. Sebastian frowned and stepped back from her.
"Jane?" asked a voice.
Jane quickly composed herself and walked around the side of the bookcase to see Matt. He was in his police uniform. "Matt," she said surprised.
"I thought I'd drop by and see what you're up to today."
Sebastian rounded the corner, and Matt looked at him. "I didn't realize you had a customer," Matt said.
"This is my neighbor, Sebastian. Sebastian, this is Matt."
"Nice to meet you," Sebastian said.
"Same here."
"Well, I really must be going," Sebastian said. He gave her one last look as he said, "Bye, Jane."
Matt watched him leave. Then he said, "They've been working us like crazy with a lot of overtime. I'm sorry that I haven't called."
Jane still felt awkward around him. She had tried to let it go and chalk it up to drinking excessively, but her mind wouldn't stop bringing the incident to the surface. "No biggie," she said.
"Mom keeps asking when we're going to have another weekend at the lake house. She really enjoys the time up there with everyone. I think she gets lonely living by herself."
Jane nodded. She completely understood about the loneliness. "Well, you'll have to tell her whenever she wants to go up to call me."
He smiled and checked his watch. "I have to get back to work. I'll make sure to tell her that." He gave her a quick hug. "Bye, Jane."
"Bye, Matt," she said.
When he left, Jane went back to stocking the bookshelf. She thought back to the conversation between her and Sebastian and smiled. He was feeling the same thing she was. It wasn't her imagination after all.
She didn't know much about him and wanted to get to know him better, so an idea occurred to her --- invite him over for dinner. She decided to stop at the grocery store on the way home and pick up a few things for dinner. She had heard the way to a man's heart was through his stomach. Besides, what's wrong with dinner between friends, she thought to herself.
CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
JANE KNOCKED ON Sebastian's door. Within a few minutes, he opened it. "Hello, Jane," he said.
"Would you like to come over for dinner tonight?"
He hesitated.
"I know it's last minute, so if you're busy ---"
"No, I'm not busy," he interrupted quickly. Then he said, "I'd love to come over."
"Great," she said with a smile. "Come over around six then?"
"I'll be there."
Jane went home and prepared a meal of baked chicken with rosemary potatoes. In her bedroom, she changed into a deep violet dress that flattered her figure. She smoothed the sides of the dress and stared into the mirror. Her wedding ring glimmered in the reflection, and she stopped and stared at it for a long time.
Sighing, she thought that maybe it was time to let go. Jack wasn't coming back, and she knew deep down that he wouldn't have wanted her to be depressed and not living her life. He wasn't selfish like that.
Carefully, she removed the ring and placed it in a drawer of her jewelry box. It felt weird not to have the ring on her finger, but she also felt like a huge weight had been lifted from her shoulders. She felt as if she could try to find love again, and she was anxious to see where things were going to go with Sebastian Alexander.
Jane walked downstairs and set the table. Just as she had finished, the doorbell rang.
She answered the door. Sebastian was dressed in a light blue button up shirt and dark blue jeans. "Just in time," she commented.
He smiled. "I brought wine."
"Great." She shuffled through a cabinet drawer until she found a corkscrew. "Would you mind?"
"Not at all."
While he popped the cork, she retrieved two wine glasses from the cupboard and set them on the table. Sebastian poured the wine.
While they ate, the radio played softly in the background. Jane took a sip of wine, and she glanced across the table at Sebastian. He had barely touched his food. She frowned. "I know I'm not the best cook in the world," she muttered.
He looked up at her. "It's not that at all." He quickly took a small bite of the food. His face didn't show any sign of whether he liked the taste or not. He remained impassive.
Jane nervously set her wine glass down and picked at the food on her own plate. She had suddenly lost her appetite. "I should have ordered out."
"Jane," Sebastian said sternly, causing her eyes to snap up to meet his. "I promise it's great. I'm just not used to solid foods. I try to stick to a strict liquid diet."
She wondered why he would have agreed to dinner if he were on a diet. She stared down at her plate. "Oh. I'm sorry. If I had known ---."
"You couldn't have known." He took another bite. "It's delicious. I really should try real food more often."
"I wouldn't peg you as the protein shake kind of guy." She cringed as the words flowed out of her mouth. "Not that you aren't heal
thy and muscular." She bit her lower lip, forcing herself to shut up.
He chuckled. "It's okay. It's just a lifestyle I've come accustomed to."
She looked up and saw him staring at her lower lip as her teeth bit into it. She quickly released her lip and took another drink of wine.
When they finished eating, Sebastian helped her clear the dishes from the table. Jane piled the plates in the sink, planning to load the dishwasher after Sebastian left. As she turned, she crushed up against Sebastian. He caught her in his arms.
"At Last" by Etta James played over the radio, and Sebastian smiled and asked, "Will you dance with me?"
She nodded as he took her hand and led her into the living room. Still holding her hand, he wrapped his other arm around her waist and drew her in close. She inhaled sharply as she could feel the electric current running through her from his touch.
They danced around the living room. He was an excellent dancer, and she felt like she was effortlessly gliding in his arms.
Suddenly, he shifted and dipped her down low. Jane was breathless in his arms as she gazed into his eyes. He leaned down to her and pulled her up towards him until their faces were only an inch apart. She could feel his breath on her lips. She knew he was going to kiss her, and she wanted him to kiss her.
The doorbell rang, echoing through the house and snapping them out of the trance. He pulled Jane upright, and she pulled away from him and went to the door.
Matt was standing on the porch. "Matt," she said surprised. He rarely popped in without calling first.
"Hi, Jane. I thought maybe you'd want to watch a movie on TV or something tonight."
She quickly thought of something to tell him. She kept her voice low and said, "Ashley is actually here. She had a bad break up with her boyfriend, and I'm kind of comforting her." Jane couldn't believe how easily she could lie to him. She had never felt the need to lie to Matt before.
His face fell. "Oh. Okay. No problem." His eyes strayed up to her hand holding the door. "You took your ring off," he said with an astonished tone. "I hope that our weekend together had something to do with that," he said, expectantly.
