by Mina Carter
“Okay,” I said as I waited to hear what he could tell me. Maybe he’ll say something that will help me understand what’s happening to me.
“Well, we already know that you panicked, you admitted it when you told me what happened today. I would place bets that your panic in turn sent your wolf into a panic. Though you have yet to know her, your wolf knows you well since she is a part of you, and she knew that if you were in a panic then you and therefore she, was in danger of dying. So she took charge, forcing you to change. The process of your change itself pushed the venom back out the open wound and healed any damage that it had done so far.
“You said that you were bitten, panicked and then found yourself in wolf form. I’m assuming this happened in the space of just two or three minutes? There probably wasn’t a great deal of damage yet, so the healing needed for that would have been minimal.”
“It seemed like hours at the time, but in reality, it was probably no more than two minutes. Brandon wasn’t far ahead of me on the trail. I heard him stop when I fell, and it probably took him less than a minute to cover the distance and by the time he managed to reach me, he looked so surprised, so I must have already shifted.”
Bill nodded. “That makes sense,” he said as he moved to sit back on the couch again. “I realize this has to be more than a little bit of a shock to you.”
“What did Brandon mean when he said he thought it would never happen? How could he know that I might someday shift?” I pushed the leg of the sweats down my leg and settled back into the chair again. The discussion about the process of my shifting reminded me again of the statement. “And you don’t seem particularly surprised, why not?”
“I’m not surprised. I’ve known for years that there was a possibility that you would shift. And Brandon knew it was a possibility, because I told him.”
“And you never said anything to me? What about Dad?” Bill was shaking his head and I knew he hadn’t told Dad either. “Why would you say something to Brandon, but not to us?” I couldn’t hide the hurt and confusion in my voice.
“I couldn’t, not until I knew if you were actually going to shift.”
“What do you mean? If you could tell that I’m one of these Kitsune, how couldn’t you know if I would shift?”
“Because being a Kitsune doesn’t automatically mean you’ll be able to shift, you can be one of us, but not shift. To be Kitsune, you either have one or both parents who are shape-shifters, but having either doesn’t guarantee that you will be able to shift yourself. I’ll simplify it some. You took Biology while you were in college, didn’t you?” I nodded. “Think of it in terms of genes, the ability to shift is a dominant gene. But sometimes something goes wrong and someone who should shift for some reason can’t. It may actually be some kind of genetic defect that we haven’t found yet. If you have one human parent and one Kitsune, any children they have will be shifters. If you have two Kitsune parents, the children will most likely be shifters, but it’s not guaranteed. It is also possible for two non-shifting Kitsune offspring produce a shifting child, but it is rare, and can only happen with the first generation of non-shifters. Either way, shifting or non-shifting, they are still Kitsune.”
“So, basically, what you’re telling me is that one or both of my birth parents was a Kitsune?
“Certainly.”
“Well, I guess that’s more than I’ve ever known about either of them before…”
“I’ve put a lot of thought, and a bit of money toward investigations, into your situation over the years. And before you ask, no, your father has no clue of the research I’ve had done into where you came from.
“As far as I can tell, it’s most likely that if it was just one parent, which I believe it was, it was your father who was Kitsune. The way some people are, it’s entirely possible he may have never even known of the pregnancy or you. I can also say with some certainty, that if your mother was Kitsune her pack either never knew of her pregnancy or she told them she had miscarried. I checked with other packs all over the country when you were a baby and there was no knowledge of who you could belong to.
“Because you were one of the first baby’s surrendered under the Safe Haven laws, it’s impossible to know much about either of your parents without some kind of DNA test to prove the relationship. They just didn’t get that kind of information then.
“I’m giving you all the information I’ve been able to find out, but it’s not much. You were under 72 hours old when a young woman handed you to a fireman in a Phoenix fire station, so the date of birth that your parents were given is accurate within a day or so. The records of your surrender say that she told the firefighter that she couldn’t take care of you like you needed, that your father never knew you existed, and that she hoped you would be given to someone who could give you the life you deserved, and then she left. There was a cursory search through police and court records to make sure there were no babies reported missing, no custody disputes that you could have been part of, and then you were put up for adoption.
“Her story supports my theory that it was your father that was Kindred, most Kindred girls, if they find themselves pregnant with a child they just can’t raise or don’t want, will find someone among the Kindred who is more than willing to take the child in. We don’t, as a practice, voluntarily give up our children to people who don’t know what we are.”
“It sounds like you tried to find out who gave me up.”
“I did. Not that it would have changed your life much. I never would have done anything to try to have you taken from your parents, but I could have had a better idea whether or not you had the ability to change, and I could possibly have let you in on the secret earlier. If I had known more I could have made this less of a shock to you.” I nodded, glad he could see that my parents love us all just the way we are, and that he cared enough to try to find out where I came from.
“I knew the first time I saw you, when your parents first brought you home, that you had Kindred blood. I could tell by your scent that you had the blood of a shifter. The offspring of a non-shifter doesn’t have that Kindred smell unless they’ll be able to shift. But I had no way of telling if you would have the ability to shift or not. Since the shifting of the Kindred isn’t tied to the moon, it’s also possible that even if you could shift that you never actually would, since you wouldn’t know to try. That’s part of why I tried to find out where you had come from.”
“Not tied to the moon? You mean I won’t turn into a wolf every full moon?”
“Not unless you choose to,” he said. “Not only are we not forced to change on the full moon, we aren’t forced to change ever. Yes, your shift was sudden and unexpected, but I wouldn’t consider it forced. It was your wolf’s way of saving you. The moon has no effect on us at all, it’s not easier to change during the full moon, the new moon or any other time.”
“But I thought we were werewolves?”
“No. Werewolves are pure fiction, though they may have some, slight, basis in fact. Some Kindred choose to shift during the full moon, because they can see better, unfortunately, they are also more easily seen. It doesn’t take a silver bullet to kill us, though, don’t get me wrong, a sliver bullet will do the job, but so will most others. We aren’t immortal, we just heal faster than most. Any wound that would be instantly fatal will still kill us.”
“I see.” I tried to think. “Why tell Brandon that I might shift?”
“Brandon came to me after his first shift and told me that he could tell you were Kindred. I explained to him what he needed to know. And just as importantly, how he couldn’t say anything to you about it, but that I needed him to watch you for signs that you would or had shifted
“So Brandon has only been my friend because you ordered him to watch me?” I asked, feeling betrayed. I wondered how I couldn’t have known he had been my friend because he was ordered to.
“Actually, no. Brandon has been your friend for how long? Since you both started Kindergarten to
gether, right? That makes what, twenty years?”
“Yeah, about that.”
“Brandon was sixteen the first time he shifted. So if you’ll the math, you’ll see he was your friend for eleven years before he came to me. And for the record, I only told him to watch you, to keep an eye out for you, because he was already your friend.”
“I see.” I calmed down and told myself to stop jumping to conclusions. I really wasn’t sure how I felt about the situation but it was more than a little upsetting to be finding this all out now.
“Generally, Kindred children are raised knowing what they are, or what they could be.” Bill continued. “They’re taught to keep the secret from their first words and steps and somewhere in their mid to late teens, they’re taught how to shift. Shifting’s not impossible to shift before then, but it’s uncommon. It generally only happens in life threatening situations, when an animal form fears for its life and forces the change, like yours did.
“For someone who had no clue what she was or what was going on, to suddenly shift and manage to shift back to human so soon, and without help, is really a big deal. It’s uncommon for someone who’s known what they are their entire life to manage the first shift without help.”
“But I did have help, Brandon told me what to do, how to shift back.”
“That’s not the kind of help I mean. What I mean is another Kindred either feeding you power or helping by forcing your animal form to retreat.”
“Kindred? You’ve used the word several times now, what do you mean by it?”
“Kindred is a term we use among ourselves, instead of pack or Kitsune. It helps to protect our secret from normal. If they never hear you refer to Pack or Kitsune, they can’t get suspicious and start asking questions. Kindred is an old fashion term for family, more commonly it’s shortened to kin these days. But we use the full word, and it means a member of the pack or Kitsune.”
I was silent for a moment, unsure what to say. I was saved from having to say anything when Karen walked into the room carrying a plate filled with chunks of fruit and cheese.
“Here’s you a snack. I’ve dinner started and I expect you to stay and let me feed you that as well.” She sat the plate on the small table between the two chairs. The sight of the food made my stomach growl again, and I felt my face redden with embarrassment.
Bill chuckled. “Go ahead. I know you’ve got to be starving, and I’ve been grilling you instead of feeding you.”
“Help yourself,” Karen said. “I know you’re hungry. Brandon brought your bag inside, it’s waiting for you next to the front door when you need it.”
“It’s fine where it is, but I’ll need it when I go home.”
“Why don’t you go ahead and get something to eat and let it all sink in. I’m sure once the shock of it all wears off, you’ll have plenty of questions.”
“Alright,” I said, shifting in my chair so I could easily reach the plate. I took a few pieces of cheese and popped them, one at a time, into my mouth as Karen spoke up
“Dinner shouldn’t be too much longer, but I knew you’d be starving.”
“Thanks,” I said between bites as I quietly ate the snack. I’d almost cleared the plate when it occurred to me. “Brandon said no one knows about the Kitsune, that it’s a well-kept secret.” I looked up at Bill for the first time in a while.
“That’s right.” Bill waited to see where I was going with this.
“Does this mean I can’t tell my family about all this?”
“I’ve known your father for years, and I trust him. I’ll agree to you sharing what you are, and by extension what we are, with your parents, if you want, that’s up to you. I’ll even help you tell them, help you answer any questions that they might have. However, that’s it. You can’t tell your siblings, or your friends.”
“I guess I can understand that. Can you give me a few days to process all that has happened and to decide?”
“Sure, take all the time you like. Here, let me give you a card.” Bill got up and went to his desk. “This has mine and Karen’s phone numbers as well as numbers for the pack’s Lysandros and Harmonia.
“If you have any difficulties, anything at all, give one of us a call. You should be able to get someone at any given time, day or night.” He handed me a business card. I looked at it as he continued to speak. “If for some reason you can’t reach one of us, and you need someone, call the emergency number. It’s a line that’s kept staffed at all times, they’ll ask some questions about what is going on so that they can send someone to help you. But no guarantees it will be someone you know, just that it’s someone high enough in the pack, and with the right skills to help,” On the card were neatly printed four names, including Bill and Karen, and a number next to each, there was also a fifth number labeled Emergency. I flipped the card over, looking for more, but the other side was blank, the names and numbers were all that was on the card.
“I have one more question, for now, I think.”
Bill lifted his brows and waited for me to ask.
“Will I be suddenly changing again? Am I safe to go home and be alone? Will I wake up in the morning only to discover that I’m a wolf again? I guess that was more than one question,” I said sheepishly.
“You’re safe to go home, the only way you’ll wake up as a wolf in the morning is if something threatens you enough to bring your wolf to the surface to protect you. Ninety-nine point nine percent of the time, shifting is voluntary and deliberate. Even dreaming won’t bring on a change. Your wolf will know the difference between a dreamed threat and real one.”
I sighed, relieved. “That’s really good to know, I was worried.”
Karen insisted that I stay for dinner, saying something about making sure I was properly fed after shifting and then Bill drove me home.
“Thanks for the ride.” I hugged him before climbing out of the cab of the truck.
“Think nothing of it.” He watched from the driver’s seat of his pick-up as I gingerly carried my backpack along the cool sidewalk to my building and carefully, because of my bare feet, climbed the stairs. I waved and smiled at him before I let myself into my apartment. It was only after I was safely inside that he backed out of the parking space and left.
Chapter 3
LATER THAT EVENING, alone in my small apartment, I felt lost. The shock from the events of the day was starting to wear off and I wandered through the place on auto pilot, not really thinking about what I was doing. I took a long shower, cleaning off the grime from the trail. Though I couldn’t see anything, I felt like I was covered in sweat and dust. The hot water helped to clear my mind.
It was while I was shaving my legs in the shower that I noticed that the pinkish marks I’d shown Bill just a couple of hours earlier, all that had been left from the snake bite at the time, had disappeared. My skin no longer bore any trace of the event that I knew would change my life forever. I had mixed feelings about it, a part of me thought there should be some kind of physical mark left after such a life-altering event, but another part was just glad not to be reminded of it every time I saw the marks.
I went to bed early, completely exhausted. I quickly fell asleep, but my sleep was restless. I dreamt of snakes, wolves, and snakes that turned into wolves and spoke to me. I woke several times trying to escape the disturbing dreams among other things. More than once I could have sworn I heard something, things that I knew I couldn’t possibly be hearing. Voices, conversations in the apartments surrounding mine, footsteps in the gravel that surrounded my building two floors down from my apartment. Each time something woke me I would hold still and listen closely for a moment, trying to hear the sound again, but heard nothing. It was like the sounds kept disappearing. I told myself I was imagining things and after a while I just ignored whatever noise had woken me and rolled over and went back to sleep.
Despite having gotten into bed early, I ended up sleeping late the next morning. The restless night left me groggy but not particularly tired.
I got up and started moving around late that morning, but I wasn’t really thinking about what I was doing. I was planning to meet my friend Isabel for lunch and then together we were going to go shopping. I wanted to look for some new boots to go with the shorts I planned to wear dancing that night. My mind was on my plans for the day and what shops I wanted to check for the boots I had in mind, as they might be difficult to find in the area.
Absently, I reached into the cabinet and grabbed a glass, I was filling it with water in the sink when it shattered in my hand, splattering water and glass all over the sink and leaving a small shard of glass embedded in the meaty part of my palm at the base of my thumb. All thoughts of shopping gone, I gingerly pulled the tiny piece glass free and dropped it into the sink with the rest of the pieces of the glass. I stuck my hand under faucet and used the still running water to wash the excess blood away from the cut so I could see exactly how bad it was.
I wondered briefly if this was something that I could deal with myself or if I needed to call someone for help. What I could see of the wound told me that the cut wasn’t large, but it did appear to be fairly deep, and it was bleeding quite a bit, though not spurting. I decided to try applying pressure to the wound and see if the bleeding stopped, if it didn’t, I’d call someone. I pulled a clean napkin from the drawer next to the sink and wet it, so I could check the wound without pulling any forming scab away, and covered the cut. I pressed my hands tightly together, using that pressure to try to stop the bleeding. Using my elbow, I slide one of the chairs away from my small dining table and I sat down and waited.
After two or three minutes I gingerly lifted the corner of the cloth off my palm. Turning my hand until the light hit it, I about fell out of my seat when I realized that not only had the bleeding stopped, but there was no longer any sign of the cut. Unable to believe what I was seeing I went to the sink, washed the quickly drying blood from my hands and checked again. Sure enough, there was no sign at all of where the glass had cut me. I went into my bedroom where I had plugged in my PCD when I unpacked my backpack the night before and I called Bill.
