by Mina Carter
“And how about with your family? From what Bill’s said you’re pretty close to them.”
“Nothing really to tell there, everyone’s fine.”
“How much do they know about what you’re going through?”
“Nothing, Bill gave me permission to tell my parents if I want to, but I haven’t decided if I want to yet. So I’ve kept my mouth shut about everything.”
“And why do you think you might not want to tell them?” She watched me pace back and forth, waiting for my answer.
“I don’t know. How will they take my not being who they thought I was? That I’m a Kitsune? And honestly, will they freak out when they learn what my being a Kitsune means?” I rambled on a little as I tried to put my worries into words.
“Well, let’s try to look at this objectively for a minute. I don’t know your family, but Bill’s told me a little about them. Let’s take a minute and look at your family, pretend you’re not a part of it for now, like you’re on the outside looking in. You have a couple who adopted four children in addition to the two they had on their own. When making the adoptions they didn’t choose only children just like them, they took in the ones they fell in love with.” I nodded, following her so far.
“Do you really think that your parents will care that you’re a more little different then they knew about? Your whole family is out of the norm. Are you afraid they’ll turn their backs on you once they learn that you turn furry?” I sat down on the other end of the sofa, and looked at her for a moment, trying to put my thoughts together.
“I don’t know, not really. They’ve always supported us in whatever we chose to do, within reason. They’ve always counseled us to not do drugs or break the law, that kind of thing. Outside of that we’ve been taught that we can do whatever we want to do. But this is big, really big, how would they handle this? I mean I can barely handle it and it’s happening to me. What will I do if it’s just too much for them, if they just can’t handle it?”
“I’m not sure what to tell you. Obviously Bill believes they’ll be able to handle it, or he wouldn’t have allowed you the chance to tell them. More than that, I feel reasonably certain that he feels they’ll react well to the news, and that they’ll be there to support you. Or, I can assure you, he wouldn’t risk it.”
“I know, but still.”
“I have a feeling that this is a big part of your restlessness. You’re stressing about it and this is how it’s manifesting, by turning it into nervous energy.”
“Only a part?” I asked. “What else could it be?”
“Well...” She drifted off, thinking for a moment before speaking again. “What do you do when you’re not at work, or here, or with your family?” she wanted to know.
“I used to go out with the girls, shopping or dancing, or I hang around with Brandon and the guys, sometimes we play sports, sometimes we hike... but I haven’t been doing much of either lately.”
“What have you been doing?”
“Well, the girls and I just don’t have a lot to talk about anymore, I want to talk about what’s going on with me and I can’t share that, they talk about dating and clubbing. Because of my hearing I can’t go clubbing anymore and I’m taking a break from the dating scene.”
“Understandable, but that’s what you’re not doing, not what you are doing.”
“I’ve talked to Brandon some, but there’s something different about him now and I’m not sure why I get that feeling.”
Alexis didn’t say anything just sat quietly and watched me, waiting for me to answer her question.
“I do some swimming, and after I left here last week I ran into an old friend as he was moving into my apartment complex. When I caught his scent I thought he was pack and I mentioned the Kindred to him. I’ve since discovered that he isn’t a shifter, but he knows all about us because the rest of his family is.”
“Ahh, you mean Devon Wilson.”
“How did you know?” I asked, puzzled.
“I may not have been Harmonia when he left but I was part of the pack, I remember him. Plus he’s the only non-shifter in the pack. And he is pack, just not a shifter.”
“I know. Anyway, I knew him before he left, though not all that well. He’s a few years older than me and was part of my sister’s crowd. When I ran into him we started visiting, and we’ve started spending some time together.
“I took him to our family dinner to get reacquainted with everyone and now he’s working for my dad. He’s helping out around the farm which means he keeps a similar schedule to mine, up and out early. We tend to run into each other in the evenings after work.”
“The two of you are spending more than a little together, I take it?”
“Yeah, you could say that. I mean it’s not every day, but we’ve run into each other two or three times during the last week,” I paused for a moment, unsure if I should go on. But I decided that I needed someone to share it with, and I felt like I could trust Alexis not to spread what I said around. “I think he’s spent years feeling like an outsider in his family. And because of what’s happened, I’m starting to understand some of that, being the only one different in the family. I don’t have to worry about keeping the secret from him, or letting something about it slip.
“I know that in a lot of ways Brandon has no clue where I’m coming from. I mean, sure he’s Kindred, but he’s always known it. He’s always expected it and he’s just like the rest of his family and what they expected from him. Devon grew up expecting to be shifter, and then he couldn’t, and suddenly he was different.”
“I see what you’re saying. Right now you’re just feeling like you have more in common with Devon than any of the rest of your friends, and even your family.”
“Pretty much, I don’t feel like I have to hide what I’m learning about myself from him, like I do from my family and friends. And there are few, if any, Kindred who have any clue what it’s like to suddenly discover what you are as an adult. I’m still adjusting and I know it’ll take time. I’m just not great with the in-between time.” I laughed a bit at myself.
“So… quick question?”
“Yeah?” I wondered what she’d ask next.
“Are you feeling any better for having talked it through, at least partway?”
I thought about it for a second, noticing that I wasn’t quite as restless. “Yeah, I am. Not worlds different but less stressed for sure. Thanks.”
“Don’t mention it. It’s part of what I’m here for, plus I like you. I want to be able to help you in any way I can. Feel free to use me as a sounding board any time you feel the need.” Alexis reached over and her hand against my arm. “It’s my guess that you’re feeling a little guilty that you’ve been drifting away from old friends and spending time with Devon, kind of like you’re betraying your old friends in some way. I also think that you’re feeling guilty that you haven’t told your parents yet, despite your anxiety about telling them.”
“You’re probably right on both counts, though I doubt I would have put it quiet that way.”
She chuckled softly. “We all express ourselves differently. You need to keep in mind that it’s okay to make new friends and let other friendships fade. It’s a natural cycle and sometimes you have to go that extra mile to keep friendships that are important to you.”
“I guess.” I looked at my hands, sitting together in my lap.
“You should also reconsider telling your parents, and soon. The longer you wait, the more difficult it’s going to be. And the harder time they will have understanding why it took you so long to tell them. Do you really think that never telling them is really an option? Could you go the rest of your life keeping this secret from them?” she asked gently.
“No, I guess not. It would really hurt their feelings if they found out from someone else, and then learned that I could have told them and didn’t. I’d better get a hold of Bill and see when we can do it.”
I needed to move around again, to let what Alexis h
ad said process a while, so I got up and went into the kitchen to get something to drink. I leaned back against the counter top, slowly drinking the water I’d poured myself, I noticed Caden sitting at the table in the middle of the room. He was holding his PCD up on the table in front of him, and I watched him lay it down from where he had obviously been reading. He looked up at watched me as so stood there.
“What’re you reading?” I asked.
“An old sci-fi novel,” he replied.
“Is it a good one?”
“I’m enjoying it, it’s part of a long series that I’m only about half way through.”
“I read some sci-fi, do you mind if I ask what it is exactly?”
“It’s called The Chronicles of Pern, but it’s more than thirty years old, you’ve probably never heard of it.”
“And it’s by Anne McCaffrey,” I finished for him, grinning.
“You’ve read them?”
“A couple, I really like some of her other series. I just haven’t gotten into Pern as much.”
“I’m enjoying them, they’re different, but entertaining and easy to read.”
“Most of her stuff is.”
“You doing okay?” he asked.
“Yeah, I talked some things out with Alexis and it’s helped. I’m still restless but not as bad.”
“I know it’s a nosy question, but when’s the last time you shifted?”
I had to think about it a minute. “Over two weeks ago. Why?”
“I’ve seen Kindred get restless like you’ve been when they haven’t shifted in a while. Generally it’s a lot longer than two weeks, but I thought I’d suggest that you shift, find someone to go for a run with. Maybe it will help, it can’t really hurt,” he suggested, shrugging.
“I’ll do that, if nothing else it’ll be some good exercise, maybe relieve some stress. Thanks for the suggestion,” I said. He picked up the coffee cup sitting on the table next to him and raised it in my direction before he went back to reading.
It was almost quitting time when I approached Alexis with a question.
“Are you busy?” I asked, walking into the front room where she was sitting, reading.
“Not really, do you need something?” she looked up at me.
“I have a question for you.”
“Oh? What is it?”
“I know you can’t heal humans like you can Kindred, but can you heal a non-shifting Kitsune?”
She watched me for just a moment before answering, “This is about Devon isn’t it?” She laid her PCD down in her lap.
“Well, yeah,” I said. “I haven’t said anything to him about it, I wanted to ask you first, to see if it was possible.”
“That’s good, because the answer is no, not really. Sometimes it can be done but it is really hard on both the healer and the injured. It’s a lot easier to heal children who haven’t shifted yet, I think it’s because they’re much more suggestible and they believe they’ll be healed. It’s almost like when a person discovers that they can’t shift their mind builds a barrier that stops the healing magic from working anymore.”
“Well, damn. I was hoping it could be done. At least something to help him, especially when the pain gets bad.”
“I’m sorry I’m not able to help, his best bet is probably some kind of muscle relaxer or pain killer, for when it flares. You also might look into someone who does deep tissue massage, it’s painful but it loosens the muscles and really helps.”
“Thanks so much for your patience with all my questions, and for the talk this afternoon, it’s given me some things to think about.”
“I’m glad to be of help. Like I said earlier, I like you. I’d like for you to think of me as a friend. I tell you what, how about you and Devon come over tomorrow afternoon and we can toss something on the grill. Hank should be home, we can spend an afternoon visiting and getting to know everyone.”
“That sounds an awful lot like a couple’s thing to me. I’m not seeing Devon, we’re just friends. I told you, I’m taking a break from the dating scene.”
Alexis chuckled. “I know, I didn’t mean it like that. Just that you spend a lot of time with him, and that he’s more than welcome. It’s been a while; I’d like to see him again.”
“I’ll ask but I think this might be his weekend to work.”
“Oh? I thought you said he’s working for your dad?”
“He is, but he offered to work every other weekend so that Dad can have some time off for a change. Maybe take Mom out of town once in a while. Dad was thrilled; it’s always been really difficult for him to find someone he trusts to take care of all the animals when they had to go out of town for some reason. I don’t think he’s ever considered leaving just for fun before.”
“I see. So how about we plan on 4:30 or so, late enough that he’ll be done for the day if he wants to come, but still early enough to spend a few hours and still get in bed early for an early riser like that?”
“I’ll ask him, but I can’t commit to it for him.”
“Ask, either way, you’re welcome to come.”
“Thanks, I think I will. It sounds like fun.”
I gathered up my purse and PCD, said goodbye to Caden while I was in the kitchen and I told Alexis on my way out the door. “I’ll call and let you know what Devon says, but unless something happens, I’ll see you tomorrow. Thanks!”
When I got home from the clinic that evening I found Devon sitting out by the pool. He was wearing a pair of swim trunks and had a t-shirt was stretched tight across his abs as he reclined onto his elbows at the edge of the pool with his feet dangling into the cool water. He had his head dropped back so that the top of his head rested against the cement and, though I couldn’t see them, I assumed his eyes were closed. On impulse I angled away from the stairs to my apartment and headed toward a spot of the fence surrounding the pool near where he was sitting.
“Hey, Stranger, how you doing?” I asked.
He jumped, startled, before opening his eyes and turning his head slightly to look at me. “Not bad, how was your day?”
“Meh, long. I have a question for you,” I asked through the bars of the fence.
“What is it?”
“Do you remember Alexis Hickman? She said she was a few years ahead of you in school.”
“Petite, blonde? Looks like a pixie who could sprout wings and fly away at any time?”
“That would be her,” I smiled, amused at his description.
“Yeah, I remember. What about her?”
“Well, she’s the Harmonia now, and the healer I’ve been working with at the pack clinic. She’s invited you and me to a barbecue tomorrow afternoon at her place. Not a big event just the four of us.”
“I’m working this weekend. Your dad wants to hang around for my first few weekends before he trusts me with his animals enough to leave town overnight.”
“I told her I thought you were working, she said let’s do it in the afternoon, about four or so.”
“Why’s she suddenly so interested in me?” he asked, suddenly suspicious.
“I mentioned that you’re a friend, and she remembers you some from school, she just wanted to get reacquainted some. I’m pretty sure her husband, Hank, isn’t from around here so unless he was around before you left, you don’t know him.”
“I don’t see why not... I usually get through at your dad’s by about three, so give me time to get back and shower. We can leave here by four, but I don’t know that we can make it there by four.”
“Not a problem, I’ll let her know.”
“Okay.” He shifted his body so that he laid flat against the cement, pillowing his head in his hands as he stared up at the sky. “What are your plans for the rest of the evening?” he asked.
“I don’t have any. I hadn’t given any thought to what to do this evening, at least not any further than getting a shower and putting on something comfortable. Why? You want to do something?”
“It occurred to me that you
keep feeding me, but the best I’ve done in return is delivery pizza.”
“I like pizza, and if you’ll recall I suggested it, after I invaded your apartment.”
“I know, but I want something better tonight and I hate to go alone. Care to join me? My treat.”
“You don’t have to buy me dinner to get me to join you. Let me go upstairs and get a shower, then we can go. What do you have in mind?”
“I was thinking about that steak house out south of town.”
“They’ve got good food.”
“That’s what I hear. How long will it take you to get ready?” he asked, pulling one hand from under his head and checked the watch strapped to that wrist.
“Oh,” I thought a moment. “How’s forty-five minutes?”
“No problem, that means I can stay here for a bit before I have to go get dressed myself.”
“Enjoying the cool water?” I smiled, knowing how refreshing the pool could be, especially in the heat that made itself felt each day.
“It’s nice, cooling and relaxing. I thought about swimming, but I didn’t want to miss you when you came by, so this works.”
“I didn’t know you swim.”
“Some. It’s not my exercise of choice but it’s low impact and it helps to strengthen my leg without too much strain, so I end up doing it more often than not these days.”
“Maybe I’ll catch you one day and we can race. I enjoy swimming and often do laps here.”
“That would be fun. By the way...your clock is ticking,” he said calmly, prompting me to go get changed.
“I’m gone... I’ll be down in a bit.” I laughed, turning turned away from the fence and heading toward the stairs that lead up to my apartment. I quickly climbed the stairs and before I let myself in, I stopped and looked back toward the pool. From here I had a much better view of Devon laying on the cement. It was obvious that he got a lot of exercise; he had a slender but muscular body that his t-shirt clung tightly to, outlining all the muscles of his upper body. They weren’t the bulging muscles like the guys who spend too much time in the gym, but enough to let a person know that there was more than a little strength there, waiting to be used. A shiver ran down my spine at the thought, I quickly dismissed it and turned away from the sight.
