by D. N. Hoxa
I never believed that my life would come to the point where I would be a monster, sitting in another monster’s kitchen with a bottle of whiskey in hand that never got me even drunk, discussing what other monsters wanted to do with the remaining humans of the world. Would they risk losing their food? Of course not. But would they, if they had an alternative?
Hearing Hammer and Bugz go around stories of former vampire rebels made me tongue-tied for a long while. They had wanted to imprison humans twenty years ago, claiming that they were the better creatures, the strongest, the top of the food chain. That they deserved to own everything, even human lives. Unfortunately for them, the humans knew and prepared to send them to the sky with their powerful weapons. Like my mother used to say to Harley and Jessica: if the occasion arrives, call your friend a whore before she calls you one. And that’s what the humans did. They blew the vampires before the vampires could blow them. Only they didn’t count on the whole thing backfiring.
Whatever was happening, even if it was nothing, it was worth the research. Hammer was right. Another explosion and the earth would be shattered forever.
“Everard,” I said, calling their eyes to me. I was sitting by the sink again, head resting on the cupboard behind me. “The only way we’re going to find out what’s happening is to go after Everard. He’s our best bet.”
I wasn’t a hundred percent sure, but the way it seemed to me, if Everard had disappeared for a year and then got caught by the ROB, he could tell us everything we needed to know. He could either confirm our suspicions or put our minds at ease for good. He could lead us to the answer.
“We can't,” Hammer said, waving the letter Mohg had sent to him. I stood up and took it from him.
“The way I understand it, Mohg’s word is law,” I said, and they both confirmed it with a nod. “Every law has a loophole. This letter tells you to stop your search for Everard. Not mine.”
“It doesn’t work like that,” Bugz said.
“No, wait,” Hammer said and faced me. “It actually could work.”
“You don’t break Mohg’s laws. Otherwise, he kills you or imprisons you or whatever. But, if you technically don’t break his law, what can he do?” I asked.
“Kill your ass, that’s what,” Bugz whispered.
“Unless he doesn’t know. Unless I’m searching for you, a beating hearted vampire, and you accidentally lead me to him,” Hammer said, his voice rising with every word.
“He’s not stupid, Hammer,” Bugz said.
“I’m sure he’s not, but he didn’t tell Hammer to not follow me,” I said, feeling much more confident than before. “He follows me, and I follow Everard. It makes perfect sense when you think about it. He could never hold this against Hammer.”
Bugz looked skeptical, but Hammer was already convinced. He watched me with a weird smile on his face, and I almost returned it since I was feeling pretty good about myself.
“I guess he couldn’t,” Bugz finally said, and as if we were both waiting for her approval, Hammer and I hi-fived each other.
“Now we just have to find Everard,” Bugz said.
“That’s going to be a problem,” Hammer said halfheartedly. But a spark flew in my mind, and I was almost positive that it was the solution.
“I’m going to give up on feeling him right now,” I breathed. That definitely wasn’t going to work.
“Wait, Everard is your Lord?” Bugz said.
“Yeah…” Hammer whispered with a shrug.
“But…but I don’t get it. Why are you here?” she asked, standing up from her seat.
“She doesn’t feel him at all. Doesn’t feel compelled to be by him,” Hammer explained, and again, I wondered if that was a good thing or a bad thing. Well, for the situation at hand, at least.
“What kind of a freak are you?” she said with a wondrous smile on her face, a smile that I hated. I was a freak, but she didn’t have to rub it in.
“A born one,” I said.
“Then how the hell are we hoping to find him if she can't feel him?” she asked, completely ignorant to the way I was watching her.
“Boston. We find him in Boston,” I said. “They caught him, right? And I’m ready to bet that they caught him because he wanted them to. He had something he wanted in the ROB building. But, if we go back there and enter their files, we can find exactly where they caught him.”
“Of course!” Hammer shouted. “It will be a great starting point. Once we know the place, we can bet that wherever he is, it will be near.”
“We go there and we investigate. There must be someone who has seen him or heard something.” Hammer’s confidence only intensified mine.
“And we’ll be one step closer.”
“You make it sound so damn easy,” Bugz said, but I could tell she was already on board. I didn’t know how to feel about her coming with us, but I wasn’t going to protest now.
“It’s not going to be easy, but it’s the only way,” Hammer said and gave me a smile. “We’ll leave tomorrow night.”
And so I went back to my place by the sink with my bottle in hand. Hammer brought me a whole pack of cigarettes when I asked him for one, which earned us another weird look from Bugz, but neither said anything.
By the time the plan of motion was set, the sun was minutes away from reaching the surface. I rested my head behind me and felt my eyes drifting shut.
“She’s gone,” I heard Bugz say only hazily. I felt the sun drawing me to unconsciousness faster and faster. I heard steps and then felt Hammer’s arms under my knees and neck. While he took me up the stairs, Bugz whispered:
“Not odd at all…”
I did not like that girl any more than I liked other humans who harassed me while I was a kid. By the time Hammer laid me on the soft bed, I was all but gone.
Hammer’s hand got stuck right under my cheek, and I leaned into it, completely unaware that I shouldn’t be doing such thing. He moved my hair from my face.
“I don’t like her,” I whispered lowly, and it was a miracle he heard me.
“Just give her time. You will, I promise you,” he whispered against my cheek.
I liked how the air blew on my face when he moved his lips. I liked how he took care of me, how he put me to sleep every night.
“Everything will be fine, Morta,” he said, and I felt his lips press against my forehead. I would’ve smiled if I wasn’t on the edge of falling. But he didn’t kiss me. He just pressed his lips against my skin, and then he was gone.
XII
“Forget it. You are not going in there alone,” Hammer whispered.
“Did I ask for your permission?”
“Morta, you’re going to get killed before you even reach the building,” he all but shouted.
“At least their machines won’t detect me!”
“You can’t be sure—”
“Of course I’m sure! I was inside the building, in the office of one of the directors, and they didn’t even know I was a vampire.” I pushed his shoulder because we’d talked about this before we left his house. We were close to the Howling Building, which I found I hadn't missed at all, getting ready to get inside the ROB building and find out what we could on my Lord—where they found him and if they had any information on where he might be.
The problem was—as always—Hammer. After he didn’t let me help the two guys that got killed by four ROB soldiers, something had occurred to me. I had been with Anthony Bush. Soldiers had come inside the room, and he’d told them to get out, that everything was okay. Hammer said they had those detecting devices on them at all times, and yet the soldiers hadn't had any doubt about me. Which proved my theory right: the device didn’t alert my presence.
“You don’t know that. It could’ve been because of the guy,” he insisted again.
“Listen, I’m not going to let you come inside and turn on every alarm there is, because you don’t trust me to be good enough to do this.” I almost broke the metal frame I was holding on to beca
use he was so unbelievably frustrating.
“That’s not the point! I was in there before, remember? I know how to keep my distance.”
“Just admit it, Hammer. You don’t think I’m capable of doing this!”
I would’ve thought the same thing, but when he said it, I got so mad, I actually believed that I was good enough and very capable.
“You’re not! You’ve been barely turned, and you don’t know the first thing about moving in the shadows,” he said, raising his brows as if he couldn’t see how I didn’t understand that.
“Oh, really?” I said, my voice turning to cold and calm in a second. “You don’t know anything about me, Hammer. Trust me, I’ve been living in the shadows since I was a teenager. How the hell do you think I survived alone in this place for two years?” I asked, showing him the darkness around us.
“I am not going to let you go and get yourself killed,” he hissed.
“Oh, please. As if you’d care,” I mumbled. And then felt like throwing myself against the ground. Why the hell did that feel like I was swallowing a bee’s stinger? I mean, I knew he probably didn’t care, but I also felt like he did. Why else would he take care of me the way he did? He didn’t want me to get killed.
Still, there was no escaping the bitchy side of me, apparently. You pissed me off and I sent you to hell. I couldn’t believe how heartless the world had made me.
Hammer clenched his teeth, and his eyes grew dark as he watched me, never blinking, as if he, like me, couldn’t believe what I’d just said. I was tempted to mumble a sorry, but I couldn’t bring myself to meet his eyes.
“Just get a fucking room already.” Bugz spoke for the first time since Hammer and I started to fight.
“I will hit you,” I told her, because I would. How the hell could she possibly think that? Couldn’t she see that we wanted nothing more than to kick each other on the shin?
“This is getting out of control.” Hammer sighed, rubbing his face. “The fact that you’re so stubborn and childish…”
“I am not stubborn and childish…”
“Fuck, will you just let me finish one single sentence without…”
“Not when what you’re saying is bullshit…”
“Everything I say somehow seems like bullshit…”
“Well, maybe because it really is.”
“I swear on my life…” he hissed and grabbed my chin the second I wrapped my small fingers around his thick neck. It wouldn't do any good, but I wasn’t going to let him get away with it.
And then Bugz started to laugh. Silently, but with my hearing, I made it out clearly. Considering that Hammer, and every other vampire, had better hearing than I did, I was sure he heard her perfectly, too. My eyes almost rolled from the anger that was washing through me.
“I’ll meet you here at dawn,” I said and pushed Hammer away. He let go of my chin and watched me as I stood up and turned to the wall, completely stunned. Bugz still laughed, but I didn’t let it get to me.
“At least let me tell you where you’re going,” he hissed. I stopped, but didn’t turn. After another frustrated sigh, he continued. “You’re going to want to steal clothing. They all wear those white things in there. If you can find one, take it, and get to the sixth floor. That’s the IT floor, and that’s where they keep their archives.”
I turned my head to him. “How on earth do you know all of that?”
Hammer looked away from me. “I’ve been around for a long time, remember?” As if that explained it. “Which is how I know it’s dangerous for you to go in there.”
I pretended that I didn’t hear that last one, and tried to concentrate on the building I was about to break into, a building that was guarded by hundreds, if not thousands, of soldiers with big weapons that could wipe me off the face of the earth, just like that. So, it was a win-win for me. If they got me, they’d get me. If not, then Hammer would just have to finish the job.
“Looks like you’ve met your match,” Bugz said, and though she was far away, I heard her like she was right next to me.
“She’s the most stubborn, naïve, and stupid woman I’ve ever met. She’s no one’s match,” Hammer hissed next.
“I can hear you!” I called, but I continued to walk.
“I don’t care!” His voice held no amusement, just raw anger. Before I could give it more thought, I started to run.
The holes in the wall were easy to find this time. But when I reached them, I wondered why I had come looking for them in the first place. I just jumped and landed on the top. So fucking easy, it was ridiculous. Peeking down once up there, I saw guards. Ten in my line of view, each holding a gun and looking around, as if expecting someone to fall from there.
There were two things I could do. The first one was walk on the wall until I found an opening and then jump, or jump right there and run ahead too fast for them to see. They’d still be alarmed if I tried the latter, so I went for option number one. I walked east and saw the buildings, some soldiers here and there, but no one else.
Finally, I found a spot that looked like the best choice. There were guards on both sides, but too far to see me easily. My timing had to be perfect. I waited for the moment both guards looked away, and I jumped.
I didn’t have time to think if my landing made a sound, or if someone saw me. I ran ahead fast and behind a wooden fence not ten feet away.
Take that, Hammer, I thought with a goofy smile on my face. He was so sure that I wouldn’t be able to do it. I would, just to prove him wrong. My ire surprised even me sometimes.
It was never hard for me to sneak in and out of somewhere. My mother was worse than the soldiers, with an eye of an eagle that left no room for mistakes. One wrong step, a small crack of the hardwood floor of the house, and she’d be waiting for me by the door. So my skills were perfected. I made it to the building in less than three minutes. For the first time in my short miserable existence as a vampire, I was happy with what I had. Speed and sight and uncanny nostrils, not to mention my hearing.
The problem was, all of those reminded me of something else, something I wanted to keep my mind off. Blood.
I heard every heartbeat within twenty feet around me. Every vein filled with what had to be the best taste ever tried by…well, not mankind, but vampire kind. It was as if each one of the people surrounding me was fighting to show me who had the best blood in their veins. And all of them always won.
I wished I’d taken a small bottle of whiskey with me, like the one Bugz always had in hand. But after a few deep breaths, I convinced myself that those would have to do.
Getting past the entrance guards was easy. I just had to sneak to the corners and keep in the dark. When I reached the sterilization box, which was a metal container painted in white, I nearly suffocated from the strong smells, though I wasn’t inside. All of it reminded me of the last day I was human. I hopped above it and lay on my stomach to escape the two cameras planted in each corner of the hallway.
The guards didn’t even look concerned. The devices they had on didn’t alert them, and those men had all their hopes set on those things. That, plus they didn’t expect anyone to be foolish enough to try and break in through the front door. Come to think of it, I should’ve thought of a better plan myself. What the hell was I thinking, going in the front just like that?
But as soon as I reached the door that led to the stairs, right next to the elevators that opened the second I slipped through, I felt better.
I’m not going to get caught, I repeated to myself, over and over again. I was good at keeping to the shadows. I was safe as long as I didn’t let anybody see me. And to do that, I was going to have to move slowly. And steal clothing.
I was headed up, but there were people coming down the stairs, which gave me no choice but to go down myself. I moved as fast as my body allowed me and hid behind the stairway.
The hallway looked exactly the same as the one I’d been in the last time I was in that building. Soldiers all over with thei
r big guns in hand. All of their hearts pumping fresh blood. God, how I wished I could sink my teeth in their necks and drink every single drop of their warm, thick blood. At the same time, I wanted nothing more than to run as far and as fast as I could from them.
Being with Hammer and Bugz was easy. I had my whiskey and not a single drop of blood close by. But here, everything reminded me of it. So inviting.
No, all I had to do was figure out where they kept their white robes that made them look like they were all doctors. But as I wondered, unfortunately for me, I heard steps coming my way. I wasn’t sure if he was a doctor, but he did have on what I needed. He walked with his head down and a frown on his face, as if he had just seen something he did not like. I had a total of four seconds to decide. Unlucky for him, his blood made my decision for me.
I couldn’t use the pretense that I couldn’t control myself. Perhaps I could, perhaps I couldn’t. But I killed this one voluntarily. Why? Because I needed his robe. And most importantly, because if I didn’t taste blood really soon, I would’ve gone after the guards.
I grabbed the doctor’s ankle, and before his face hit the ground, I reached up and covered his mouth to stop his scream.
I had never before moved so fast as when I pulled him to my corner behind the stairway. I blindly found his neck and tore the buttons of his robe, so hungry and thirsty that I wasn’t myself all the while. I felt the tears like they were coming from someone else, dripping down my cheeks as I heard the man gasp for air.
“Vam…vamp…” were his last words.
No one heard him. I felt so disgusted with myself, I found it hard to even breathe. But the taste of blood…my God, it was a miracle. I felt better than ever before, full with someone else’s life. I watched the white, lifeless body sitting against the wall right next to my feet, and I remembered my Lord. I’d found him next to a dried out doctor, too. And seeing this in front of me, I couldn’t help but feel the same. The same monster. I probably looked the same as him, too. I felt my sharpened teeth, and I felt my steady heartbeat. I wanted to rip it out of my chest right then and there. And then I cried in silence as I took his robe off him, stained only with a single drop of blood on the collar.
