by D. N. Hoxa
“I’m more interested to know about what happened to Deed,” Dublin said, ignoring Hammer’s comment.
Dead silence reigned around us for a long while. I felt all their eyes on me, and when I met the dark ones of Dublin, my knees shook. I didn’t know what to expect from this. I didn’t know what Hammer was thinking, and I couldn’t wait to start running.
“He’s dead,” he answered.
“Oh, I know. I saw his body. What I want to know is how it happened,” Dublin said and took another step forward, his eyes taking all of me in, slowly and carefully.
“It doesn’t matter how it happened,” Hammer said, though even he didn’t sound like he believed he was going to get away with it. I was about to get him in trouble again. He wasn’t going to be safe until I was dead. He knew it, I knew it, and yet he didn’t want to hear. We should’ve never made that stupid deal.
“But it does. And the boys tell me she’s the one to blame,” Dublin said and pointed at me. I almost screamed but bit my tongue before the sound left my mouth.
“Leave her out of this,” Hammer hissed and took a step closer to him. He really didn’t want to hear.
“I’m not putting her into anything. I just want to know how,” Dublin said, almost politely.
“Is that why you brought all of yours with you?” Hammer said and leaned his head to the side, as if to try and catch something else that he wasn’t currently seeing on Dublin’s face.
“Fair enough,” Dublin said with a cold smile and turned to look at his vampires. Just a look, and he started to walk ahead with only two of them by his side, while all the others stepped back and disappeared.
I fell back inside, too, and watched as Hammer, side by side with Dublin, made it to the door.
When he saw my face, Hammer gave me a nod and a wink, as if to say that it was fine. I trusted him, but that didn’t mean I trusted the Dublin guy or the two other vamps he had with him.
“We’ll be safer from prying ears upstairs on the fifth,” Hammer said and pointed at the stairs. I didn’t want to leave my back open to them so I waited until Hammer fell into pace with me, and I ran with him. By the time we went to the room we’d slept in, I felt as if I was out of breath.
Hammer closed the door once we were all inside. The three of us sat cross-legged on the old, dirty rug of the room while Dublin’s vampires continued to stand above us.
“Is it true?” Dublin asked Hammer but looked at me. I wanted to look away as soon as his eyes met mine, but I had Hammer by my side so I felt almost brave and held his gaze.
“Yes,” Hammer said, almost reluctantly.
“What’s your name?” Dublin asked me.
“Her name’s Morta,” Hammer said.
“I didn’t ask you,” Dublin said with a small smile.
“But I responded.” Hammer returned the favor.
“And who is she to you?” Dublin asked a question I very much wanted to know the answer to. Who was I to him? A partner? The help in finding his target? If so, why did he kiss me?
“None of your business,” Hammer answered instead.
“It is my business if she killed one of mine with nothing but a bite.” Dublin raised his brow at me.
“It was an accident,” I whispered. I didn’t want to sound weak, but I’d rather speak than stand silent and have them think I did it on purpose.
“You didn’t know that your bite kills?”
“Of course she didn’t know. No one knew. No vampire can do that,” Hammer said.
“But she’s not a vampire. Not quite,” Dublin said, staring at my chest for a second, and his eyes, as if they were trying to read my story, hung on my face until I felt like I wanted to blush bright scarlet.
“I never…bit a vampire before,” I said, almost embarrassed, but I needed to say something to get him to stop staring at me like that.
“We had no way of knowing. No one’s heard of something like this before.” Hammer sighed loudly and found my hand as if he knew that I needed to hold onto him. Dublin’s eyes traveled from my face to our hands, and the corner of his lips turned upward. But it wasn’t in a smile.
“As a matter of fact, someone has,” he said. My eyes almost popped out of my forehead. Someone had heard about…whatever I was? I needed to speak with them right away.
“Who?” Hammer asked before I could.
“Wave has,” he said and pointed a finger up. One of the two vampires standing above us took a step closer. He seemed young in age, maybe a couple of years younger than me, and when he watched me, I felt like the green in his eyes was shedding life all over me.
“Well?” Hammer asked him, as impatient as I was.
“Simiente deldemonio,” he simply said in a language that I was almost sure was Spanish. I turned to Hammer, who was still looking at the Wave guy.
“The devil’s seed,” he whispered without looking at me.
I wanted to laugh at the irony. See? We’re all evil, devil’s seeds, all of us. But I couldn’t because he was but a vampire. I was the one called that.
“Wave’s over eight hundred, so he’s heard tales over the years. And when Vin told us what you did, he recognized you as one of them,” Dublin said.
“One of who?” I almost shouted. I couldn’t get them to speak fast enough.
“One of the cursed. I’ve heard the tale of the vampire with a beating heart and with a death bite. The creature was more deadly than fire, spreading death on the undead,” Wave said in a thick accent and a sad, melancholic voice. He looked at me like he was seeing a wonder.
“It’s just a story,” Hammer insisted. I didn’t have it in me to speak.
“Do you have a better explanation? Have you ever seen or heard about something like this?” Dublin asked him. He seemed to believe every word Wave said.
“No, but—” Hammer said, but I couldn’t let him finish.
“Then what am I? What’s wrong with me?” I asked Wave.
“The way the story tells it, when the virus entered your body, your heart did not give up. It adapted to it instead. Continued to beat and altered the venom that leaks through your teeth. Made it deadly to vampires,” Wave answered. I held on tightly to Hammer’s fingers.
“So she just bites you, and you’re gone?” Hammer said.
Wave nodded.
“That is the way the story goes. But the world hasn’t heard of something like this in more than five centuries. Before that, there were only two male vampires with beating hearts. Both dead now.” Just like I was going to be soon.
“Goddamn it,” Hammer whispered and rubbed his face with his hands. But when he turned to look at me, he smiled. Like I was a kid and couldn’t understand what was happening.
“So I’m a monster that kills monsters,” I whispered, and my voice broke.
Dublin’s brows rose as he watched me, a little anger playing in his eyes. But Hammer held my hand and told him, “She’s a month old,” like that was supposed to explain why I would call them monsters.
“No matter how old I am, I will always be a monster. Same as all of you.”
None of us could deny it.
“Young one, how you think of us, or yourself, doesn’t matter. What matters is what you can do. And what you will do,” Dublin said to me.
“Nothing. She will do nothing,” Hammer said.
“Do you vouch for her?” he asked.
“Yes,” Hammer said without missing a beat. A shiver that wasn’t supposed to be there ran down my back. The confidence in his voice was disappointing.
“No one needs to vouch for me,” I said, because I couldn’t let this stupid, stupid, amazing vampire put his life on the line for me. Again. “I’ll be dead soon. Until then, you have my word that I won't bite anyone. Unless I absolutely have to.”
“You are young and inexperienced—” Dublin started to say with a superior smile on his face, but I cut him off.
“I am no more and no less than you. The fact that your teeth kill humans and mine kill vam
pires doesn’t make us any different. We both take lives that do not belong to us. So please spare me and take my word for it…”
“Morta…” Hammer whispered and squeezed my hand, but I continued.
“… if I say I’m not going to kill, you can count on it.”
“You are a danger to all of us,” he said, a dark cloud of anger roaming above him now.
“She is not dangerous. I take full responsibility for her actions,” Hammer said, and his eyes warned me not to say anything else. I couldn’t believe how hard he was making this for me.
“Did you make her?” Dublin asked him in wonder.
“No. But I claim her.”
“What the hell does that mean? Nobody claims me,” I hissed. What the hell was wrong with him?
“Is she your mate?” Dublin continued like I hadn't said a word, making me even angrier.
“I’m not his…” I started, but Hammer’s cold voice made mine sound like a whisper.
“She is my responsibility.”
“I can take care of my own,” I hissed at him. What was he thinking, claiming me and taking responsibility for my actions?
Hammer sighed loudly and covered his closed eyes with his hand like he couldn’t believe it.
“I can!” I insisted, looking at Dublin.
“Stubbornness is not a healthy virtue,” he simply said to me.
“Dublin, you and yours will not be harmed unless you attack us first,” Hammer continued.
“Us?” he repeated, completely taken aback.
“Yes. Us. I appreciate your concern and your discretion. I will pay the price of Deed’s life if needed,” Hammer said.
I was going to say that he didn’t have to, that I killed the vampire, and therefore I should suffer the consequences, but he didn’t let me. As if he knew my mind, he turned to look at me and held my eyes while I opened and closed, and opened and closed my mouth again.
“There will be no consequences to pay. He was under orders not to attack you and yet he did,” Dublin said and jumped to his feet to leave. I couldn’t have been happier. “I don’t expect to hear from you again, young one,” he said and gave me a nod. “I trust you with this,” he then said to Hammer. I wanted to laugh in his face.
“I have business to discuss with you,” Hammer told him before he made it to the door.
“Find me tomorrow,” Dublin said.
Wave turned to look at me once more before he followed the others. His eyes were as suspicious as they were scared. I couldn’t imagine any vampire being scared of me, but there he was.
Hammer made me stand still and not even whisper for another ten minutes. Then, he went outside to check if someone was there. Only when he came back and was sure that no one could hear us, he started to yell at me.
“What the hell were you thinking?” Was his opening line.
“What the hell were you thinking?” I yelled right back.
“Do you know how dangerous those vampires are? Do you have any idea the amount of trouble you could get into with your big mouth?” he hissed at my face.
“So what? I don’t care! You should’ve let me speak for myself like I’ve done my whole life. I mean, how can you take responsibility for my actions?” I shouted.
“Because I’m stupid, yeah, I get that!” he said. “Because they would’ve killed you right there on the spot if I hadn't vouched for you!”
“Then why didn’t you let them?”
“Did you forget the deal we made?” he said, pacing fast around me.
“Of course not! But it’s not my fault that I kill vampires. If they want me gone, let them make me gone,” I said. His words hurt me more than I wanted to admit to myself.
“I didn’t say that it was your fault. I just wanted you, for once in your life, to keep your mouth shut and let me handle it,” he yelled, shaking his head. “As if that’s too much to ask…”
“You don’t have to handle my business. I am very much capable of handling myself.”
He looked like he wanted to slap me. I just stared at him angrily.
“Oh, like you were capable when Deed held you by the throat?” he hissed.
“Exactly. If I remember correctly, he’s dead now. Dead,” I repeated just in case he didn’t hear.
“That was just luck. You don’t know the first thing about how to handle vampires, let alone how to handle a fight.”
“Call it what you want, but I don’t need you to take care of me.” That was a lie. “I’m not a little girl.”
“Yes, you are! In every single aspect there is, you are a very little girl,” he shouted.
“Oh, yeah? Then why did you kiss me?”
I didn’t want to bring that up. And I wouldn’t have, if my mind had stopped thinking about how the last time we were fighting, we ended up kissing. It was just a small kiss, but it was everything for me. And so with that damned kiss in my mind, I just had to bring it up.
He stopped moving. He looked at me like he didn’t know what he wanted to do with me. Which way to kill me.
“Because you’re fucking impossible,” he hissed and walked fast to me.
I stepped back just as fast until I hit the wall with my back, and I had nowhere else to go. His face loomed over mine, and I couldn’t tear my eyes off his lips. This was so frustrating. I was so mad, I could poke his eyes out, yet I wanted him to do what he did to me back in Boston just as much.
“You’re the one who’s impossible.”
I was slowly dying of embarrassment, but I also didn’t want to be the one to look away, so I had to say something.
“You will need to learn to control your tongue,” he said, his voice a sweet melody to my ears.
“And if I don’t?” I asked. Will you kiss me again?
But he didn’t move like I expected him to. He didn’t bring his lips to mine like half of me wanted and needed him to. He just stood there, both hands on the wall to the sides of my head, and watched me.
“Then I’ll just have to control it for you,” he said and leaned closer. This time, I was so sure that he was going to do it. I closed my eyes, and I waited, my arms and hands itching. I waited and hated that I waited but also loved it, so fucking much it burned me.
“Bugz’s here,” he whispered instead, and once I opened my eyes and he touched my mind with the amber of his eyes, he pushed back and disappeared from my sight.
I couldn't believe I was such an idiot.
I didn’t follow him downstairs. I stayed up there and eavesdropped instead. I was too mad at him, at myself, at her. Why the hell did she run away like that?
“What happened to east?” she asked the second Hammer opened the door.
“They caught up to us,” he said.
“You mean they caught up to her.”
She referred to me like I was a disease. But I was used to people disliking me. Her reaction I could handle much better than Hammer’s behavior.
“Bugz, don’t get me started,” he said and started for the stairs without haste.
“On what? Do you even know what you’re doing? You’re going to get yourself killed,” she called as she followed him.
“Of course I know what I’m doing,” Hammer said, as if what she said was absolutely ridiculous. But it wasn’t, and I knew it.
“Tell that to someone who knows you for a century. I’m your friend, and it’s my job to tell you that you have your head up in the clouds and you better put your feet to the ground soon, or you’re gone,” she said, and though I hated to admit it, she was right. Hammer was going to get nowhere with trying to protect me all the time.
“What the hell do you expect me to do?” Hammer shouted and slammed his fists on the wall.
“Live,” Bugz whispered. “I want you to put yourself first, like you’ve always done. This isn’t a game, and you know it, Hammer. You know as well as I do that it’s tough out there, and you have to be a selfish bastard if you want to survive.”
I could swear I heard longing in her voice, as if
the words hurt her. I understood her. I might not have liked her, but I definitely understood her. It was a tough world, even when I was still human. And right now, I was putting Hammer’s life in danger every second.
It didn’t matter if it was because I was too stubborn, or too slow, or just too inexperienced. I was holding him back. I shouldn’t have made that deal with him. I shouldn’t have given my word, knowing my luck.
But then again, I shouldn’t be caring if he makes it out alive or not. And when I first met him, I didn’t know that I was going to want him to live so much, even if it meant putting myself in pain for it. I’d never even liked a guy before in my life. Sure, I could appreciate a handsome face like Benjamin’s, the guy who made fun of me the most and lived across from me inside the wall. And Quinn, the guy who wore glasses and had that nerd look going on. But never did I actually feel something like I did with Hammer. I didn’t want him to die. He was a monster. I knew that, and I didn’t want him to die.
XVIII
I’d never seen something so massive in my entire life. But then again, I’d never seen much in my entire life. The wall that surrounded Manhattan was something I could’ve never imagined. It was twice as big as the one in Boston and much newer. The way it was constructed left my mouth agape. It followed every curvy line of the island, shaped exactly the way God made it.
Not only that was amazing to me, but the water around on all four sides, too. Well, technically you couldn’t call it water since it had taken that dark green–black color from God knows what. But the way it reflected…it gave you the impression that it was a mirror. It was amazing as much as it was repulsive.
“I take it you’ve never been here before,” Bugz mumbled, looking at the expression of wonder on my face. I didn’t have it in me to give her an answer.
“I need to talk to Dublin,” Hammer said, standing two feet away from me like he did during the hour that it took us to get to New York.
“It’s not a great idea to go see him alone,” Bugz said.
“I’m not going alone,” Hammer said and turned around. “Come on, Morta.”
I didn’t move. “I’m not coming, Hammer,” I said. I wasn’t going to get him into more trouble than I already had.
