I went back to the wheel, looked at the GPS and saw absolutely nothing. There was just me on the tip of a pencil-thin line, with no other history, like maybe the fog had erased everything else. Then I figured I had probably been drifting south, and if I was turned to the east now…
I started the motor and swung her around to the northwest. In a few minutes, I saw the old routes reappear at the top of the screen. I followed the band back through the maze of islands and peninsulas, another half hour on the water with the rocks and the trees slipping in and out of sight. It was getting darker now.
As I got closer to the boathouse, I had just enough light to center the nose in the open doorway. I felt the whole boat rock as I bumped into the back gangplanks a little harder than I wanted. It occurred to me that I had found the boat parked nose out, and now it was nose in. To whoever found it, this would be a clue that someone else had been here. This plus the broken window in the door and the fact that every last one of the guns had disappeared.
Before I left the place, I found a clipboard with paper and pen tucked in next to the driver’s console. I thought hard about what message I wanted to leave. It was Laraque I wanted, but I figured somebody working for Gray would probably find this first. No matter. If both spiders are on the web, all you do is pull hard enough to make them both feel it.
“I have your merchandise,” I wrote. A lie I regretted for all of two seconds. “I know you’re shorthanded right now, so have Mr. L contact me and I’ll be happy to make the delivery myself. I’ll talk to him and only him.”
I underlined the “only.” Then I signed my name. I knew that’s all I needed.
I knew they’d know where to find him.
And where to find me.
When I got back to Paradise, it hit me. I needed to be in my own cabin in case they came looking for me. I needed to stay next to my phone in case they tried to call me. I pulled up in front, got out of the truck, and went to the door. No use hanging around outside thinking about it. I just opened the door and stepped inside.
Someone had done me a great favor. Whether it was one of the county deputies or one of the state guys, someone had cleaned up the place, had put everything as right as they could make it, had even tried to clean the floor.
The floor. The spot where Natalie died. I could still see it. God help me, I could still see where it had happened.
I can’t do this, I told myself. I can’t stay here.
But I have to. I have no choice.
I was so tired. I went to the bed, took off my clothes, left them where they dropped. I climbed into the bed, hoping to sleep, thinking maybe I’d have one more night when I didn’t have to start watching for whoever might come after me. But as soon as I was in the bed I smelled her scent there. In one second it was all over me and inside me. Like she was right there next to me.
Everything I had done that day, it all caught up to me at that one moment. I wanted it to be over. I wanted Laraque to call me, or to come here himself so he could deal with me in person. Anything to see him face-to-face, so I could ask him if he had killed Natalie, and if he had, then why.
I wanted it to happen so bad. I didn’t want to wait any longer.
I wanted violence. I wanted blood. It was the only thing that made sense to me now.
Violence. Blood.
Little did I know how soon my wish would come true.
Chapter Twenty
I spent a good part of the next day doing something I hadn’t done in years. I took some empty cans to a secluded spot in the woods behind my cabin and practiced shooting, first with Leon’s gun, then with the little .380 I had taken from the boat. I put the ankle holster on my left leg, practiced bending over and picking up the pant leg with my left hand, drawing the weapon with my right, coming up shooting. The miniature pistol had a surprising kick to it. After a few rounds, my right hand was starting to get numb. At least I had the sense to wear the earmuffs I kept around for whenever I ran my chain saw.
The Taser looked like a toy, especially when I loaded it up with eight double-A batteries. It was hard to imagine this thing emitting a charge strong enough to knock a grown man senseless and keep him down for several minutes, but that’s what it was built to do. The nasty part was the pair of probes on the ends of the wires. They looked like long fish hooks, with barbs on the ends to keep them stuck inside the skin. According to the little booklet that came with the gun, the nitrogen canister would shoot the probes at a hundred and twenty miles per hour, with enough force to penetrate two inches of clothing. As long as both probes made contact with the skin, the electric charge would completely shut down the target’s muscle control, sending the man down to the ground like he was having some kind of seizure.
Yeah, I can see how useful this would be, I thought. Put a man on the ground without killing him. This thing could definitely make the starting lineup, despite the fact that citizen use is illegal in Michigan.
I was still reading when I heard the footsteps. I dropped the booklet, took the gun out of my waistband.
“It’s me,” Vinnie said as he stepped out from behind a tree. “I heard gunshots.”
“I’m just practicing,” I said.
“For what?”
“So I’m ready if somebody comes after me. I have the right to defend myself, don’t I?”
He came closer to me. He looked at the black box on the ground, picked up the instruction booklet for the Taser and scanned through it.
“I’m trying to help you,” he said. “I’m trying to be your brother.”
“I know that.”
“If you go after him, you won’t come back.”
“I’m not going to Canada.”
“Yesterday you wanted me to find you a boat.”
“It was a bad idea. I know that.”
“So then what’s with the artillery here?”
“He knows where I live,” I said. “He sent somebody to kill Natalie. If I had been there with her, I’d be dead now, too.”
He thought about it. Then he nodded slowly.
“So if somebody comes to finish the job,” I said, “I’ll be ready.”
He looked in my eyes, like he was trying to read something there. “Have you eaten anything today?”
“I don’t want to go down there,” I said. “I’m not ready to deal with people yet. Not even Jackie.”
“I can bring you something.”
“That would be good. I appreciate it.”
He stayed there for a long moment, measuring me.
“I’ll be back soon,” he finally said. “Don’t go away.”
“I won’t.”
I went back to the cabin. There were no new messages on the machine. I brought the phone over as close to the front door as I could go. Then I set up two folding chairs outside and sat down on one of them.
Vinnie came back a few minutes later. He was carrying a plate of food and a Molson.
“Why did you move back to this cabin?” he said. He sat down in the other chair.
“I need to stay by the phone. If there’s a break in the case, I want to hear about it.”
“You could install a phone in the second cabin.”
“I could. It would take some time.”
“Alex, there’s something you’re not telling me.”
I ate my dinner. It was beef stew, my favorite back when I could still taste food. I didn’t drink any of the beer.
“Tell me what’s going on,” he said.
Strength, I thought. Energy. I need to make myself eat. At least twice a day.
“You’re not making this easy,” he said.
“Would it surprise you to know that I don’t want you to get killed, either?”
“You think that’s likely to happen?”
“If you stay too close to me, yes.”
“Do you think you’re cursed?” he said. “Anybody close to you ends up dead?”
“Not exactly.”
“Then why do you say that?”
&nbs
p; The phone rang. I put the plate on the ground and stood up.
“I have to get that,” I said.
“Go ahead.”
Second ring.
“I need to take this call alone.”
“Who is it?”
Third ring.
“I’ll tell you later. Just let me get this, all right?”
He didn’t move.
Fourth ring.
“I’m sorry,” I said. I went inside the cabin and shut the door.
The answering machine was kicking in, the recording just starting when I picked up the receiver. The answering machine cut off. I looked at the caller ID. It read “Unknown Caller.” I would have bet anything the call was coming from an untraceable cell phone.
“Hello,” I said.
“Is this Alex?” A woman’s voice.
“Yes.”
“Can you guess who I am?”
“Is your name Rhapsody?”
“Well done.”
“That was fast. Mr. Gray contacted you already?”
“Never mind who contacted me. You know why I’m calling.”
“Is Laraque there?”
“He’s not here at the moment. I’m calling to do you a big favor.”
“If you want to do me a favor,” I said, “then tell Laraque to call me.”
I hung up the phone. It rang again about fifteen seconds later.
“Alex, that was not very nice.”
“You’ll have to forgive me. I haven’t been myself lately.”
“I understand you’ve suffered a loss,” she said. “I know I wasn’t as close to her as you were…”
“What did you just say?”
“I was her friend, Alex. At least I thought I was. Didn’t she ever mention me?”
“What are you talking about?”
“We used to meet every morning for coffee. Antoine and I were really looking forward to doing business with her. Until, well…Until what happened. It was such a horrible thing.”
“Until she was gunned down in cold blood, you mean.”
“Alex, I don’t know how much this will mean to you, but I’m very, very sorry about what happened. I can only imagine how you’re feeling.”
“You’re sorry.”
“Yes, I am. Under the circumstances…I mean, I know you want to lash out at somebody. But I think you’ve made a very big mistake.”
“Who did he send to kill her?” I said. “Was it the same guy who killed her partner? Or was it a different man?”
“Antoine had nothing to do with Natalie’s death. You need to understand that, Alex. The sooner you understand that, the better it’ll be for everyone.”
“I want to hear it from him,” I said. “I want to see him, face-to-face.”
“That’s not possible.”
“Call me back when it is.”
I hung up again. It took a good thirty seconds for it to ring this time. I considered not picking it up, then thought, what the hell. Maybe it’s him.
It wasn’t.
“I’m trying to be understanding here,” she said. “But you’re not making it easy. Do you have any idea who you’re dealing with now? I’m serious. Do you have any idea what he’ll do to you?”
“He can’t do anything else to me.”
“Use your head, Alex. Why would he kill two police officers? It doesn’t make any sense.”
“If he didn’t do it, why not tell me that himself? How come I get the errand girl?”
“Okay, number one, you can go fuck yourself with the errand girl. Number two, he doesn’t even know I’m calling. Like I’ve been trying to tell you before you keep hanging up on me, I’m doing you a favor. If you tell me where the stuff is right now, I might be able to convince him to let you live. Do you understand what I’m saying, Alex? You’ve got one chance to avoid a very painful death. On account of how bad I feel about Natalie, I’m giving you that one chance.”
“That’s very considerate of you.”
“Where’s the merchandise?”
“Tell Laraque to call me. I’ll discuss it with him.”
I hung up again, thinking it was time to ice them a little while, now that I had their attention. I was already out the front door when the phone started ringing again. Vinnie was still there, sitting on one of the folding chairs.
“Who was on the phone?” he said.
“Telemarketer,” I said. “Pain in the ass.”
“Your phone’s still ringing.”
“I know. They’ll stop eventually. Come on, let’s take Jackie’s plate back.”
“I thought you said you didn’t want to go down there.”
“I changed my mind. He’s probably worried about me. I should go see him.”
“What are you trying to pull?” he said. “You’re gonna sneak off again.”
I raised my hands in surrender. “You drive. We go together.”
That’s how I ended up spending a couple of hours at the Glasgow that day. Jackie was surprised. He seemed a little unsure about how to treat me. He knew he couldn’t abuse me like usual, but that didn’t leave him many options. He was like a pitcher who can only throw one pitch.
He made me an omelet, even though the sun was going down. My first real breakfast in days. I had one beer. One more cold Canadian. I held the bottle and looked at it, wondering if it would be the last beer of my life.
It felt strange to be there. This place that was as much a home to me as my own cabin. I knew it would never be the same again.
I asked Vinnie to take me back up to the cabin. He didn’t want to leave me there alone. Beyond that, I could tell he was worried I’d go running off somewhere. I could see him eyeing my truck like it was a bottle of gin he needed to keep away from an alcoholic. I promised him I wasn’t going anywhere that night. That much I knew I could say and be telling the truth.
When he was gone, I went into the cabin. The phone was ringing. I picked it up.
“I tried to do this the easy way,” she said. Her voice had an edge now, sharp enough to cut glass. “Now you’re really going to be sorry.”
“Where’s Laraque?”
“You’re talking to me now, McKnight. I’m giving you one more chance.”
“Tell him I want to talk to him.”
“He is talking to you. Right now. He’s doing it through me. I’m the agent here. I’m the mouthpiece. You talk to me, you talk to him. You got it? So tell me what you want.”
“You know what I want.”
“What’s the bottom line, McKnight? We get the hardware back when what happens? Fill in the blank. I’m trying to work with you.”
“Do you know where the boat is right now?”
“The boat that had the merchandise on it? Yes. Unless you’ve moved it.”
“I haven’t moved it. It’s in the boathouse. Did they tell you where that is?”
“I know where it is, yes.”
“Tomorrow,” I said. “I’ll meet Laraque at the boathouse. Let’s say eight P.M. That’ll give him plenty of time to get over here.”
“You know that’s not possible. He’s got cops watching him now. He can’t take a step outside without everybody knowing it.”
“Something tells me he’s a pretty resourceful man. If it’s important enough, he’ll be there.”
“I told you, it’s not going to happen.”
“If you really need to come, too, I guess I can’t stop you. Personally, I’d recommend that you stay home.”
“If you hang up,” she said, “so help me God, I will send somebody over there right now to kill you.”
“Yeah, I know that’s how you guys do things. But this time, it would be a mistake. I’m the only one who knows where your guns are, remember?”
“You’re the one making the mistake, McKnight. You have no idea.”
“Story of my life,” I said. “Tell your man I’ll see him tomorrow night.”
Chapter Twenty-one
The moon was out. A miracle in itself after so many cl
ouds, so much thick fog and blacked-out nights. The light came pouring through my windows, turning everything different shades of silver. It seemed to make the floor itself glow, so bright I could make out the stains there, the vague shadows that would always be there to remind me.
I could still smell her scent in my bed, just like the night before. If anything, the scent was stronger tonight. Impossible, but somehow it was.
I couldn’t take it. I got up and went to the couch, wrapped the blanket around my shoulders as the wind picked up outside. I rocked back and forth, my eyes closed to the moon and the wind and the horrible cold hours of the middle of the night.
I was leaning half sideways when I opened my eyes, early morning sun coming through the windows now. My neck was stiff. I got up and took a shower, trying to loosen up under the hot water. I got dressed, had a cup of coffee. It felt like it was burning right through my stomach.
Vinnie wasn’t here last night, I thought. He’s not here now. For all his talk about not leaving me alone…But I know I’ve been pretty miserable to be around lately. I’ve been trying as hard as I can to drive him away. I should write the man a note, try to tell him why I’m doing this.
No, what the hell. He’ll know why. If I don’t live through another night, he’ll have no problem figuring it out.
I wasn’t sure what to do with myself for the rest of the day. Eight P.M. was a long haul. I didn’t want to use up any more ammunition practicing, and I didn’t want to go into town to buy any more. I didn’t want to just sit here, watching the minutes go by. I didn’t want to be around anybody else, either.
I finally took Natalie’s picture outside with me, sat on my folding chair in front of the cabin and looked at her face for a long time. She was so serious in the picture—I had to try hard to remember her smile. I tried to remember that one look she’d give me, when she’d say something smart and she’d give me a little sideways glance to see if I’d caught it. Or the look she’d give me when she was done fighting with me. When she was finally ready to let me get close to her. Her eyes focused on me, almost nearsighted it seemed, like suddenly I was the only person in the world.
I sat outside and held the picture, felt the cold frame in my hands. The sun tried to warm the day. I went inside and ate the rest of the leftover beef stew from the night before. I didn’t put ketchup on it, my own final touch, always over Jackie’s objections. I didn’t even heat it up. I couldn’t taste anything, couldn’t enjoy anything. I was a machine now, all wires and solder inside. On the outside metal and plastic.
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