The fourth step of confession is letting go of hope and fear. At this point, you are completing the surrendering process, you are giving and opening completely. That action has the power to relieve your neurotic crimes. It is said that you should make supplications to prevent hope and fear by saying, “If there is hope, let my hope subside; if there is fear, may my fear subside as well.” By transcending both hope and fear, you begin to develop the confidence that you could go through the whole process.
So the first step is feeling disgust with what you have done. The second step is refraining from that activity. The third step is offering your neurosis by taking refuge in the Buddha, dharma, and sangha, and committing yourself as a traveler on the path. And in the fourth step, all those processes are connected together, and there is no longer hope or fear.
Offering to the Döns
The third practice is to offer torma or food to the döns. A dön is a neurotic attack; we experience such neurotic attacks throughout our life. Torma is a Tibetan word that means “offering cake.” A torma represents a gift or token. If you have watched a Tibetan ceremony, you may have seen little offerings of butter and dough. A similar concept in the West is the birthday cake with its decorations.
Laying down evil deeds is based on getting tired of your continual neurosis, tired of doing the same things again and again. But in this practice you are dealing with a sudden earthshaking situation, a big attack, something that makes you think twice. So the former practice is more like a camel’s hump, whereas this one is a sheer drop. A sudden incident hits you, and suddenly things begin to happen to you. The döns attack suddenly, and they possess you immediately. They attack you by surprise, and suddenly you are in a terribly bad mood even though everything is okay.
Döns seem to attack us from outside and suddenly make us unreasonably fearful, unreasonably angry, unreasonably horny and passionate, or unreasonably mean. Being attacked by a dön is like catching a flu, like being possessed. Without any reason, we are suddenly terrified; without any reason, we are angry and uptight; without any reason, we are lustful; without any reason, we are suddenly so proud. Such neurotic attacks or döns always occur. They seem to come from outside us. It seems that external forces or phenomena make us do such neurotic things, as if we were possessed by ghosts.
Döns are said to steal your life force. Everything is fine and smooth and nothing is problematic, but then one day you are suddenly uptight and another day you are so down. Even though you have not done anything different and everything is smooth and ordinary, there are those ups and downs, those little punctures in your life. Little leaks, little upsurges, take place all the time. Hidden neuroses keep popping up. Suddenly, without any reason, we break into tears; we cry and cry and break down completely. Suddenly we would like to destroy the whole world and kick everybody out. We go to extremes.
Döns are unpredictable. Sometimes a dön doesn’t go along with what we have started, so it pulls back. We have our fist extended in midair on the way to somebody’s eyes, but suddenly there is nobody to encourage us, and our hand just drops down.
Döns pop up all the time, especially when you are careless. You go out without a coat and you catch a cold, or you don’t watch your step and you slip and break your back. Döns come up in those ways. Your carelessness begins to affect you psychologically, and you get a sudden attack. Usually such upsurges coincide with a physical weakness of some kind, which is an interesting point not mentioned in the textbooks.
When you lose control, your problems take control and you lose your mindfulness, and with a loss of mindfulness, döns can attack you. But if you are working with mindfulness twenty-four hours a day, you will not have döns. Whenever there is a little gap in your mindfulness, döns could slip in. You have to face that fact. But with mindfulness, such problems can be avoided absolutely. That is an advertisement for being mindful. When you lose your mindfulness, you could welcome the döns as reminders. You could be grateful that they are telling you how unmindful you are being, so they are always welcome—but at the same time, you could continue with your mindfulness.
We do not regard feeding the döns as though once is enough. It is not like trick or treat, where they are going to go away. They come back again—and we should invite them back! However, inviting the ups and downs of those sudden attacks of neurosis is quite dangerous. Wives might be afraid of getting black eyes, and husbands might be afraid of being unable to enter their home and have a good dinner. But it is still important to invite the döns and to realize their possibilities. We are not going to get rid of them. We have to acknowledge that and be thankful for that.
According to this practice, we should feed the döns with torma. However, if we tried to do that literally, probably we would still have the same fits all the time. The idea of feeding the döns is somewhat symbolic. I don’t think we can get rid of our ups and downs by giving them little Tibetan offerings. That would be far-fetched. Forgive me, but that is true. It needs more of a gesture than that. If you had a real feeling about offering, and were able to offer something that represents your existence as an expression of your opening and giving up, that could be okay. But that requires a high level of understanding.
Most people in the modern Western environment are not trained in that kind of ritualistic world, so they have very little feeling for such things. Ritualism becomes more a superstition than a sacred ceremony, which is problematic. Few people have experienced anything of that nature and found it meaningful. Genuine ritual means that we actually have to commit ourselves, rather than just having somebody sprinkle water on us, trying to make us feel good and happy. Most people have not experienced the depth of ritualism to the extent that they could actually put out cakes for the döns so that they will not attack them again. In order to do that, we would need immense sanity. So I don’t suggest that you put out doggie bags for anybody, although it might be good for the local dogs and cats.
The idea of feeding the döns is to tell them how grateful you feel that they have caused you harm in the past. You would like to invite them back again and again to do the same thing to you. You are so grateful that they have awakened you from your sleepiness and slothfulness. So you ask the döns to wake you up as much as they can. Whenever any difficult situation comes along, you feel grateful. You appreciate anything that provides you with the opportunity for mindfulness or awareness, anything that shocks you. Rather than trying to ward off problems, you regard anything that can wake you up as the best.
The idea of giving offerings to those who create harm to us, those who are an evil influence on us, is quite complicated. It means more than just trying to feed little ghosts who spook us so that they will go away. The idea of offering to the döns is highly influenced by tantra.
Offering to the Dharmapalas
The fourth practice is asking the dharmapalas, or the protectors of the teachings, to help you in your practice. This is not quite the same thing as praying to your patron saint, asking them to make sure you can cross the river safely. It is a very ordinary and basic. The idea is that you have your root teacher who guides you and blesses you so that you could become a worthy student. Then at a lower level, you have protectors of the teachings, who will push you back to your discipline if you stray into any problems. The protectors are sort of like shepherds: if one sheep decides to run away, the shepherd drives it back into the corral. Likewise, you know that if you stray, the protectors will teach you how to come back. They will give you all sorts of messages. For instance, when you are in the middle of a tremendous fit of anger and aggression, and you have become a completely non-dharmic person, you might slam the door and catch your finger in it. That teaches you something. It is the dharmapala principle corralling you back to the world where you belong. If you have the slightest temptation to step out of the dharmic world, the protectors will herd you back—hurtle you back—to that world. That is the meaning of asking the dharmapalas or protectors to help you in your practice.
; The dharmapalas or protectors represent your basic awareness. They take care of you not so much while you are absorbed in the meditative state of being, but during the postmeditation experience. That is why it is traditional to recite chants both at the end of the day, or at the end of a day’s practice sessions, and when it is time to wake up in the morning. The idea is that from morning to evening, your life is secured purely by practice and learning, so your life is sacred. Toward the end of your day, quite possibly you might take a break from sacred activity and meditation. At that time, neuroses beyond measure could attack you, so that is the most dangerous time. The darkness is connected with evil, but it is not like the Christian concept of Satan. Instead, evil is regarded as a kind of hidden neurosis that might be indulged and thereby create obstacles to realization. So although you may be taking a break from your practice, in order not to create a complete break, you could ask the protectors of the dharma to work with you. But the protectors are no more than yourself. They are expressions of your own intelligence, which happens constantly.
The job of the protectors is to destroy any violence or confusion that takes place in you. Confusion is usually connected with aggression, which is adharma, or anti-dharma. Dharma does not have aggression; it is simple truth, but truth can be diverted or challenged by all kinds of concepts. Truth can be cut into pieces by one’s own individual aggression. That aggression may be dirty aggression, or it could be very polite aggression smeared with honey and milk. But any such aggression is an expression of ego and needs to be cut through.
It is very necessary to work with the energy of aggression, and there are various levels and ways of doing so. In the vajrayana, there are many protector chants invoking great wrathful figures, or mahakalas, whose job is to cut through bloodthirsty subconscious gossip that does not allow any openness, simplicity, peace, or gentleness. The idea is to relate with gentleness, but in order to bring that gentleness into effect, you first have to cut through aggression. Otherwise, there would be no gentleness. So protector chants represent the idea that anybody who violates gentleness has to be cut through by means of gentleness. When gentleness becomes harsh, it becomes very powerful and can cut right through—and that cutting through creates further gentleness. It is like when a doctor says that a shot is not going to hurt you—just one little prick, and you are cured.
A further understanding of the dharmapalas or protectors is connected with the presentation of the dharma and how it can be handled properly in an individual’s mind. That is my biggest concern. By inviting the dharmapalas, we are taking a lot of chances—not physically but spiritually. If the true teachings are not properly presented, if they are presented in the wrong way or a cowardly way, we could be struck down. So we are asking the dharmapalas to give us help and feedback—through mishaps, bankruptcies, windfalls, or any situation at all. That seems to be the basic point of offering to the dharmapalas.
16
Whatever you meet unexpectedly, join with meditation.
This slogan is about dealing with sudden occurrences. It says that you should join whatever comes up with meditation. What comes up is not regarded as a surprise, a threat, or an encouragement, but simply as an aspect of your discipline, awareness, and compassion. If somebody hits you in the face, that’s fine, and if somebody decides to steal your Coca-Cola, that’s fine too. That may be somewhat naive, but at the same time it is very powerful. It is not just a love-and-light approach. It is more than that. The idea is simply to be open and precise and to know your own territory, so you can relate with your own neurosis rather than expanding that neurosis to others.
“Whatever you meet” could be pleasurable or painful, but it always comes in the form of a surprise. You think that you have settled your affairs properly. You have your little apartment and you are settled in New York City. Your friends come around, and everything is okay, business is fine. Suddenly, out of nowhere, you realize that you have run out of money! Suddenly, your boyfriend or girlfriend is giving you up, or your patron is dead, or the floor of your apartment is falling down. Even simple situations could come as quite a surprise. You are in the middle of a peaceful, calm sitting practice and everything is fine—and somebody says, “Fuck you!” An insult comes out of nowhere. Or maybe somebody says, “You’re fantastic!” You might suddenly inherit a million dollars just as you are fixing up your dilapidated apartment. “Whatever you meet” refers to any sudden occurrence; the surprise could go either way.
This slogan says that whatever you meet should be joined immediately with meditation. The idea is not to react right away to either painful or pleasurable situations. Instead, immediately apply the exchange of sending and taking, or tonglen. If you inherit a million dollars, you give it away, saying, “This is not for me. It belongs to all sentient beings.” If you are being sued for a million dollars, you say, “I will take the blame, and anything positive that comes out of this belongs to all sentient beings.”
When you first hear good news or bad news, you might gasp, “Aah!” That “Aah!” is a form of ultimate bodhichitta. But after that, you need to cultivate relative bodhichitta in order to make the whole thing pragmatic. Therefore, you practice sending and taking of whatever is necessary. The important point is that when you take, you take the worst, and when you send, you send the best. So don’t take any credit—unless you have been blamed.
Sending and taking does not have to become martyrdom. When you actually begin to settle down to this kind of practice, to the level of being decent and good, you begin to feel very comfortable and relaxed in your world. It actually takes away your anxiety altogether, because you don’t have to pretend. You don’t have to be defensive and you don’t have to attack others. What you say begins to make sense to others. There is so much accommodation taking place in you, and out of that comes some kind of power. The whole thing works very beautifully and wonderfully.
1. See appendix 5, “Forty-Six Ways in Which a Bodhisattva Fails.”
2. Aspiring is a reference to the bodhisattva vow as the initial entry into the mahayana path; entering is a reference to following that up with actual practice, specifically paramita practice.
3. The Uttara Tantra: A Treatise on Buddha Nature, translated and with commentary by Khenchen Thrangu Rinpoche, Asanga, and Ken Holmes (New Delhi: Sri Satguru, 1989). The Diamond Sutra and the Sutra of Hui-neng, translated by Wong Mou-Lam and A. F. Price (Boston: Shambhala Publications, 2005).
39
Point Four: Showing the Utilization of Practice in One’s Whole Life
The two slogans of the fourth point of mind training are instructions for completing your training. They are instructions on how to lead your life from now until your death—about what you can do while you are alive and what you can do when you are dying.
THE FOURTH point of the seven points of mind training is connected with the paramita of exertion. Exertion means freedom from laziness. In this case, laziness means a lack of mindfulness and a lack of joy in discipline. When your mind is mixed with the dharma and you have become a dharmic person, the connection has already been made, so you have no problem dealing with laziness. However, if you have not yet made that connection, laziness might still be a problem.
Exertion comes from developing joy and appreciation for what you are doing. When you are about to take a holiday trip, you are inspired to wake up in the morning because you are expecting to have a tremendous experience. You trust that you are going to have a good trip, but you also know that you will have to put effort into it. Likewise, with exertion, there is a quality of celebration and joy, free from laziness.
It has been said in the scriptures that without exertion you cannot journey on the path. Even if you have the legs of discipline, without exertion you cannot take any steps. You need to push yourself step-by-step, little by little. In doing so you are actually connecting yourself to the path as you are walking on it. Nevertheless, you will also experience resistance. That resistance could be quelled by ceasing to dwell in t
he entertainment of your subconscious gossip, discursive thoughts, and emotionalism.
The two slogans of the fourth point of mind training are instructions for completing your training. They are instructions on how to lead your life from now until your death—about what you can do while you are alive and what you can do when you are dying.
17
Practice the five strengths, the condensed heart instructions.
According to this slogan, in order to practice your bodhisattva discipline throughout your whole life, you need five types of energizing factors, or five strengths: strong determination, familiarization, seed of virtue, reproach, and aspiration.
Strong Determination
With strong determination, you do not waste your time. You recognize that you and the practice are one, and that practice is your way of strengthening yourself. You may be feeling very feeble and uncertain, but with the strength of strong determination, as soon as you open your eyes and look out the window, as soon as you wake up, you reaffirm your commitment to continue with your bodhichitta practice. You also do so when you lie down on your bed at the end of the day, as you reflect back on your day’s work and its problems, its frustrations, its pleasures, and all the good and bad things that happened. As you are dozing off, you think with strong determination that as soon as you wake up in the morning, you are going to resume your practice and maintain continual exertion and joy. So when you wake up in the morning, you have an attitude of looking forward to your day.
The Bodhisattva Path of Wisdom and Compassion Page 38
