Robin laughed and Teal smiled widely.
"I'm sorry," I said to Alex. "but we're tired and we have seen terrible things and terrible things have been done to us, whether we deserved them or not." I glared up at the policeman. "Won't you please tell us what happened to Gia? What happened to Dr. Foreman? Was she in the house?"
"Five people were killed. Figure it out Lieutenant Rowling snapped. "You're smart enough to add."
"Please, Lieutenant. You have enough information to go forward, don't you?" Alex asked, directing herself mostly at the man in the suit.
He nodded. "Okay. We'll talk to them after you've gathered the information you need and made what arrangements you need to make." he said softly. He nodded at Lieutenant Rowling, who turned reluctantly and followed him out of the barracks,
"Gia and Dr. Foreman are dead. girls;" Alex said as soon as they were gone. "And so are the girls assisting Dr. Foreman."
"Gia got trapped in her own fire," I said. realizing.
"No. she went into the building after she began the fire."
"Why did she go into the building after she started the fire?" Teal asked,
"To spread it inside as well. probably," I said.
"No, not only for that. It looks like she went in to prevent Dr. Foreman from getting out."
"How can you tell that?" I asked. grimacing.
"They found a chain around Gia's waist. The chain was around Dr Foreman's waist, too, and there was a lock on it preventing her from just slipping out of it. She was caught in bed, sleeping apparently. There was a struggle of some sort, but dragging Gia out along with her was too difficult, and by then the fire must have been consuming the hallways, the rooms, and all the exits."
"You're saying Gia wanted to die with her? She sacrificed herself to be sure Dr Foreman couldn't escape?"
Alex nodded. "It certainly looks that way, I'm afraid. You girls are telling the truth? You knew nothing of this, nothing of her intentions? You didn't know she hated Dr Foreman that much, enough to be responsible for her death?"
"No, ma'am," I said.
"We all got so we hated Dr. Foreman," Teal told her, "but maybe Gia had reason to hate her more."
"No maybe about that." Robin said. "I guess Mindy was the breaking point."
"Gia wasn't right from the start, was she. Phoebe? She was living in her imagination, creating a girl named Posy, I guess for a while that was her escape," Teal said.
I watched Alex Patterson's face as they spoke. then I leaned forward, "Was it all her imagination. ma'am? I mean, everything in that notebook?"
For a long moment. I didn't think she would reply, but then she shook her head. "No. What she wrote in that notebook was true. It's all very sad." She stood up.
"All of it was true? She was Dr. Foreman's adopted daughter?" I asked.
"Exactly," Alex said. "You're right," she told Teal. "This Posy she created was her way of dealing with all that, her escape I imagine."
"How desperate she must have finally become," Teal thought aloud.
Alex nodded. "I'm going to arrange for the three of you to be taken to a facility in Phoenix. You'll be questioned further there and I'll be on the phone with the various justice agencies you've all been involved with and that have had stipulations as to your dispositions. There is a lot to do, so we'll have to get started soon. I don't imagine you have anything much to gather up and take with you."
We shook our heads, our voices trapped inside our thoughts.
"I should have a car here within the hour. Don't wander too far," she advised.
We watched her leave.
"Wander too far?" Robin muttered.
"We could run away," I said, looking at Teal.
She started to laugh, her shoulders shaking, and then that laugh turned into a sob. We joined her like a chorus, all three of us crying for so many reasons it was impossible to center on one in particular.
Afterward, before the car arrived for us. I left the barracks and went to find Natani. He and his nephew had rounded up the horses and gotten them back into the corral. They were still nervous, the stench of the fires filling their nostrils and rekindling their recent traumatic horror, Wind Song looked at me as I approached the railing. He snorted and patted the ground, but he didn't walk over as he usually did. I didn't blame him for distrusting humans who were supposed to protect him.
I saw Natani's nephew filling the water trough and was about to ask him where Natani was when I heard the drumbeats coming from Natani's hogan. I hurried over to it, knocked on the frame of the door, and peered in. He was squatting on the floor, the drum before him, those magical rocks spread around it. He said nothing, but I saw him greet me with his eyes so I entered and sat across from him.
"What do you have in your healing bag that can fix all this. Natani? Who knows where we're going to end up now?"
He closed his eyes and stopped his
drumbeating.
"Once. when I was a young boy, my mother took me by the hand and made me sit and watch a mother wren care for her newborn babies. She brought me back day after day and I watched how hard the mother worked to feed and care for the newborns. who never stopped demanding.
"They grew quickly. I was surprised at how quickly, and soon they became more adventurous and began to explore the world outside their nest. Everything frightened them though and they returned, hovering beside each other and waiting to be fed and protected.
"And soon they were too big to be in the nest, but they tried to stay. I saw that. I saw the mother drive them out of the nest. She refused to permit them to return. They looked very lost and afraid to me, but after a while, they flew off and my mother had me bring the empty nest down and keep it and think about it until I could answer for myself why the mother wren drove her own babies away.
"I had trouble with the answer for a long time And then my grandmother died, my mother's mother, and after she was gone, my mother came into our hogan and sat beside me. I was very, very sad. I was my grandmother's favorite.
"What has this taught you about the birds?' my mother asked me.
"I looked at her with great confusion at first. How could my grandmother's death teach me anything about a nest of baby birds and how their mother had cared so devotedly for them and then driven them away? My mother waited and waited. I soon realized I knew the answer, daughter of the tortoise. I knew it but I didn't want to know it."
"What is the answer, Natani?"
"The mother bird knew she was much older and there would be a time, not far off in the earth's life, when she would be no longer and her babies would die with her if they didn't go out and became strong and independent. To turn your own from your door is hard, but it is nature's way.
"I used to wonder if the mother bird ever saw her babies again, and if she saw them and they saw her, would they show it or were the babies so angry at her that they would no longer acknowledge her or care for her?"
"Did they?"
You never see a bird die, do you, daughter of the tortoise? They die in the dark. alone. You don't look up and suddenly see one topple to the earth. In the morning you might find them, but they have died in the dark.
"It was my father who told me that in the dark the babies gather and thank their mother as they hope their babies will thank them. Before the sun is up. they are gone.
"Hagoone is our word for good-bye, daughter of the tortoise. But there is no word for good-bye for children and parents. You cannot say good-bye to that which is part of you or of which you are a part. It is forever with you and with those who come after you. It is the greatest gift of all, this truth, this never saying good-bye.
"What you think is gone, what you think you will never see or hear again, is still with you. Go away with that in your heart. Nothing here has changed that truth nor could it.
"They died in the dark," he said, nodding toward the demolished hacienda. "I saw their spirits go with the smoke to join what has come before them."
He lowered his head and
I rose to leave, "Thank you, Natani, "Hagoone."
He looked up at me and smiled. "Remember the tortoise that stayed too long in his shell. Do not stay too long in yours."
'I won't,'" I promised. And I left him.
Afterward, the three of us rode away in silence, none of us looking back. All I took with me was the turquoise stone Natani had given me, a piece of the fallen sky Alex had brought us some clothes to wear. Of course. Teal complained about them, how cheap and ugly they were. but I could see how grateful she was for them.
We dozed on and off. The landscape flowed like a continuous stream of sand, rocks, and desert plants. I saw some rabbits, but we were moving too fast to really see anything else. Alex sat up front with the driver and frequently asked us how we were doing, if we were thirsty or needed the bathroom. Most of the time, we just shook our heads. No one seemed to want to break the silence. Maybe we were all afraid that if we talked too much, we would stop this escape, for that was what it surely was to each of us, a rescue, a flight from someone else's private hell.
Eventually, we were brought to a government building where we were taken to a room and, once again, asked a series of questions about the final events at Dr. Foreman's School for Girls. The two men in suits back at the barracks turned out to be special agents of the FBI, the reason for that, we learned, being that the ranch was leased by Dr. Foreman. She actually leased it from Natani's people so he had more reason than she had for staying and caring for it. Any crime committed on Indian land came under the jurisdiction of the FBI, as well as the Indian agency and their own tribal police.
Teal joked that it was an accomplishment to be interrogated by FBI agents. We had all been arrested at one time or another by city police, local law enforcement, and now we had graduated to the head of the juvenile criminal class. We laughed, but we didn't really think it was funny. We laughed because we were still nervous about what would happen next.
We were fed, given cold drinks, and left to rest in a lounge. Funnily enough, having not had television for so long, we were all bored by what was on and ignored it. Teal was the first to start looking at the magazines. Robin joined her and I soon followed. It was as if we were slowly emerging from a coma, which was what I had felt when I had first been brought to the orientation roam. It was all a sleep and an awakening, after all.
Finally. Alex returned and we all looked up with great anticipation.
"I'm not going to go through all the details concerning the various government agencies that have something to say about your futures, girls," she began. "You all know you were sent to this school as a result of a legal decision with guardian approval. The bottom line is you're all still on probation. I'm to make sure you all understand that. Do you?"
"Alex." Teal said with her cute little smirk on her lips. "we've been on probation since the day we were born."
"Yes, well, as long as you understand you still are." Then Alex sighed so deeply I thought she would come apart right before our eyes.
"Teal, you are going home. You'll be on a flight that will take you to Albany via Newark. There'll be an officer from the juvenile criminal division greeting you at the Newark airport and seeing that you get on the right flight for Albany, where your parents will take custody. There, a division of juvenile justice will see to your counseling.
"Robin, you have a direct flight to Nashville."
"I do?"
"Your mother will meet you at the airport and the same will be true for you."
"Mother darling wants to meet me at the airport? Y'all sure about that?"
Your families have all been told something about the events that have just transpired, and some of what you have been going through at the ranch."
"Mother darling will probably write a song about it," Robin told
I smiled gently, but my eyes were on Alex, who was looking at me.
"Phoebe., your uncle and aunt have refused to accept custody and responsibility for you. I'm sorry. Arrangements have been made for you to be with foster parents in Atlanta. They'll be greeting you at the airport and you will have a direct flight. The same counseling and overseeing will take place there for you. Arrangements will be made concerning your schooling. They are. I've been told, a very nice couple, whose children are all grown and out of the house. They're actually looking forward to taking you into their home. I hope you will respect that and it will work out for you.
"Well, then," she added. standing. "any_ questions I can answer for you?"
"Yeah," Teal said. "Why were we born?"
"That. I'm afraid, is a question you'll have to answer for yourself, dear. I wish you all the best of luck. There are cars outside waiting to transport you three to the different terminals and the different flights. Why don't you all freshen up, go to the bathroom, and come out in ten minutes or so. okay?"
She smiled and then left us just like anyone who had unloaded a burden would leave us, her shoulders relaxing, her body softening, her mind rushing to think about something pleasurable that awaited her when she returned home from work and could put us out of mind forever and ever. I envied her for being able to do that.
"Anyone want to go to the bathroom?" Teal asked.
"Not me." Robin said. "Phoebe?"
"I'm not used to bathrooms inside," I said. "without something crawling around the toilet."
They laughed.
"You're such an idiot." Teal said.
"And what are you?" Robin asked her. "Besides a spoiled brat, that is?"
Teal pretended to think. "Nothing else. That seems to be enough for now."
We laughed again.
"The first thing my mother is going to ask me." Teal said as we started out of the room. "is what did I do to my hair? It would never occur to her that someone else would have done it to me.
I'll be kept locked up until she thinks I look good enough to be out in public again."
"Were you ever good enough?" Robin asked her.
"Oh, listen to her? I hope your mother does write a song about Dr. Foreman's School and sings it to you every night."
"I might write it for her." Robin said.
A man in a suit who looked like another FBI agent waited at the front door of the building. Alex, apparently, was already gone.
He opened the door and began assigning the cars. They were parked in a line at the sidewalk, and the drivers of each looked bored to death. We paused.
It was dark now. There were stars, but they weren't as bright or as numerous as the stars in the desert sky. Streetlights and other lights washed them out.
"You're probably going to be better off than both of us, Phoebe. You'll have people who actually want you," Teal said.
"My daddy wanted me. I think in her own way my mama tried to want me, did want me very much once," I said. smiling.
They looked at me, each of them thinking of times when they had felt the same way about their parents. I'm sure.
"Let's get moving, girls," the man behind us ordered. Robin pressed her lips together. Her eyes watered.
Teal looked away quickly.
"You know," I said, "I almost feel like thanking Dr. Foreman."
"For what?" Teal said, turning back quickly. "For ourselves," I said.
"Yeah, well, if either of you see me on a street in Beverly Hills or Worth Avenue in Palm Beach, pretend we never met, will you?" Teal said.
She took a step toward her car, then turned and hugged Robin. They held each other as if they thought when they let go they'd fall into a dark hole.
Teal did the same to me and I held her tightly, too. Then Robin and I hugged.
None of us spoke. We looked at each other as if for the first time ever, then they turned to their vehicles, Hagoone, I thought as they got into their cars.
Just before I at into mine, a sparrow landed on its hood. tapped proudly in a small circle. then lifted into the wind. looking like it could fly to the stars.
I watched it.
And then I got into the car. embraced myself.
and snuggled into a corner of the seat.
I looked out the window, but I saw nothing but my own face reflected in the glass.
Then I fingered the small turquoise stone and smiled. Natani's drum followed me all the way to my new home.
Epilogue
.
Dear Freaks,
I guess you didn't expect to hear from me,
especially in the form of a letter, but all that writing experience at Dr. Foreman's School has paid off Ha! Ha!
Seriously, I actually received CM A in English this quarter. I'm doing well in all my classes, even math. Every time I receive a good grade for anything in any class, I thank Gia.
I figured the only reason I haven't heard from either of you was you didn't know my address, especially since I didn't know it myself when we parted. Why else would you have ignored me all this time? Unless, of course, you're both doing time in some maximum security institution for continuing to violate every law possible.
I haven't so much as been reprimanded in class, and I haven't been late to school or to any class. No one is more shocked about that than I am.
You know what frightens me the most about all this? If Dr. Foreman were alive, she'd claim credit. She'd be telling everyone she did it, then more poor and pathetic girls like us would be sent to her school. Maybe that is really why Gia did what she did. She put a stop to it.
I don't know how it is for you these days with all the time that has passed. Sometimes, I wake up and look around as if I expect to be back in the barn barracks, and I'm surprised I'm in a real bed In my own room, which is a very nice room, by the way. I'm sure it not as nice as Teals., so don't start describing your room again and cataloging all your valuable possessions, Teal. I acknowledge you're a spoiled rich kid.
Just kidding. I'm jealous as always.
Sometimes, often I should say, if I hear a thumping sound, maybe just the bass on a speaker in
some guy's car, I think,. about Natani. I laugh to myself remembering the looks on your faceswhen he told us his animal stories or spoke in his mystical way. The truth is I miss him and wish that someday I can go back to see him.
The only thing is, just like you two, I imagine, thoughts about returning to that place make me shudder as well.
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