"Kiss me and I might think about it," he smiled as he leaned down.
"When I kiss you I don't think about Christmas trees, Delilah," my name was a purr coming from his mouth. I didn't think about Christmas trees either. He kissed me and my body longed for more.
"Let's go get a damn tree," I said reluctantly.
"I was hoping you would see things my way," he said with a blinding smile. I rolled my eyes.
"Don't get used to it, Bub."
Chapter Twelve- Is This Love?
I couldn't believe that I was actually having fun picking out a stupid Christmas tree. Leave it to Isaiah to do things the hard way and not just go pick out an already chopped tree. He took me way out to the middle of nowhere where some hick looking man grew trees to let others chop down. I had never heard of such a thing. I think the man was just lazy. I mean, who likes doing the grunt work? Isaiah, of course.
"What about this one?" Isaiah said, pointing to a healthy looking tree.
"That won't fit in my house, it's too tall and too wide," so far I had come up for an excuse not to get any tree he picked out. He growled in frustration and I fought a smile. This was why I was having fun, I was irritating him to no end. His cheeks were rosy from the cool air and his eyes held a kid's excitement, at that point I wouldn't have put it past him to throw a temper tantrum.
"You pick out the damn tree then Delilah!" He finally snapped.
"Can't we just go buy a fake one?"
"No! The tree has to be real, and unless you are allergic to pine, there is no way you are changing my mind," he said harshly. I shed and looked around. I spotted an average size tree tinted a blue color and pointed to it.
"I want that one," I said. He went over and examined it and then smiled.
"Good choice," he proceeded to chop it down, looking cute as hell doing it. He was having a hard time and insisted he didn't need help. So I just watched him struggle until he finally got it. When we got to the shack that the guy was in Isaiah went to get his wallet out and I stopped him.
"It's going to be in my house, I should pay for it," I told him.
"You don't even want it, and I practically live there anyway!" He argued. The whole time we sat there bickering about who should pay for the tree the hick man watched us and finally spoke up.
"You two will never make it," that stopped our bantering and we looked at him.
"Excuse me?" Isaiah's voice was deadly.
"You can't even buy a tree without arguing… I don't mean to interrupt young love with harsh reality, but let's get real. A tree is an insignificant thing, what about bigger decisions? I mean think about it-" I cut him off by slamming a twenty dollar bill on the counter in front of him and grabbed Isaiah's arm. He looked ready to kill the man.
"Thanks for the tree. Merry fucking Christmas," I called over my shoulder. Isaiah let me drag him away, but I knew that if he really wanted to, he could fight me off. He grabbed the tree and drug it to the car. Once he had it secured on top I pilled him to me and grabbed his face, making him look at me.
"Hey," I said softly, "don't worry about him. He's a meddling old man. He doesn't know us," I stood on my tip toes and kissed him lightly. He sighed and kissed me back.
"I'm sorry I overreacted. I've just been hearing, 'you'll never make it,' my whole life. I feel like I've finally found a good thing and just didn't want to hear it, you know?" I nodded and decided to lighten the mood.
"This worked out in my favor though. I paid for the tree," I stuck my tongue out at him and he rolled his eyes.
"Ornaments are the most expensive part anyway, and I'll be paying for those, no protesting."
"Fine, fine. But I let you win," I said before getting into the car.
* * *
My tree… Our tree looked like it came from a catalog. Isaiah had gone all out, and even succeeded in getting me into the Christmas spirit. I invested in some Christmas music and hot cocoa.
We sat on my couch drinking the hot cocoa and the music was on low, the only light was from the Christmas tree. Isaiah was singing the songs and I listened, mesmerized by his voice. I had my eyes closed and was almost asleep when he spoke.
"Delilah…" He trailed off.
"I'm listening," I replied sleepily. He hesitated and I could hear his heartbeat speed up because my head was on his chest.
"I love you… You know that right?" My breathing stopped momentarily. He couldn't be serious. I looked into his eyes, and that is what finally broke me. I wished I hadn't. I was so overwhelmed by emotions of my own. I realized in that moment that he adored me, possibly even loved me like he said.
It was something that I had never experienced before. Many men had been mesmerized by me. I had been lusted after and looked at as an object to conquer. Never before had I been adored, I wasn't the type of girl men wanted to comfort or protect, I didn't need those things.
Again I wished I hadn't looked because suddenly I felt guilty. I was going to ruin his life purposely, and all he had done was treat me like a woman should be treated. I understood then, that I was just like everyone else. In that moment, every once of hate I had felt for all humans backfired and I was drowning in hate for myself.
"Are you crying?" I heard his worried voice ask. Was I? I lifted a hand to my face and felt moisture.
"I think I am," my voice was broken and it cracked. This was really weird. I had never cried before. It was unheard of. He took both my mug and his and set them on the coffee table before pulling me into his lap.
"I didn't mean to make you cry," he wiped away my tears and held me tight.
"I'm a horrible person, Isaiah. Don't waste your love on me," it was odd. This moment was what I had been waiting to happen since I started the mission. I knew without a doubt that he had deep feelings for me and this was the point I was supposed to crush him. And for the first time, I didn't want to.
"It's not wasted Delilah. I know it's not. It's returned. I can feel it," could he? Did I love him? No, the tears were ones of hate, not love. Why should I feel so horribly about this anyway? It just didn't make any sense at all.
"I'm prone to hurting people Isaiah. I do it without thinking twice. I'll hurt you too. I love you but damn it I will hurt you," I said through tears. My admission to loving him was shocking to hear. I couldn't believe it. I didn't know how to handle it or what to do about it.
"I can live with that as long as you love me," he started kissing my neck and I brought his face to mine. I had never felt so much passion. I needed him, like water, like air, like food I needed him. I would go through with the mission, because I was obligated, but I needed him while it lasted.
I felt myself being picked up and I clung tighter to Isaiah's neck. He carried me up the stairs as I kissed him all over his face. He took me to my room and laid me on the bed. He kissed me soundly on the mouth before moving to my neck. He knew all the right spots to kiss and suck. He knew my body so well and I didn't know his at all. It wasn't fair. I pushed him away and rolled on top of him, grabbing his shirt and lifting it over his head.
I appraised him with my eyes and then with my hands, loving the feel of his hard stomach and shoulders. I traced his tattoo with my fingers and felt him shiver as he watched me. I had to taste him. I bent low and kissed and nibbled and sucked on his skin all over his torso. He groaned and closed his eyes. My hands went to his belt and he let me undo it but when I went to undo his pants he stopped me. I glared at him.
"Don't tell me no, Isaiah. Please don't, it's been months and you've gotten nothing from me," I whined. His fingers ran along my wrists and he smiled up at me.
"I've gotten quite a lot from you actually Delilah. I'm going to let you, later, but it wouldn't be fair for me to have all my clothes off and you have all yours on," he said as he moved his hands to the bottom of my shirt. He sat up and slowly moved my shirt up, touching my skin as he went. Goosebumps raised on my flesh. After a torturously long wait my shirt was off and his hands slid all over my body. He hugged me to him briefl
y, his head buried in my chest. Slowly his hands moved up my spine and reached for my bra clasp. Once he freed me from my bra he looked me over and sighed contentedly. "I love you, so much," he breathed out and moved his mouth to my chest. I gasped as his mouth did what only it could do and locked my fingers in his hair. No matter how many times he did it, it never got old. I never tired of it, and didn't think I ever would. His calloused hand occupied my other breast and I moved against him. He moaned and moved up to kiss my mouth.
I found myself beneath him again, his tongue exploring my mouth and his hands roaming my body. I reached down and undid his pants, this time there was no protesting from him. I sat up, his mouth still connected to mine and moved his pants down off of his hips and down his legs. He broke away from me to sit up and kick off his jeans the rest of the way, and getting rid of his socks as well. He pushed me back down on the bed and flattened his naked chest to mine. His lips moved from my mouth, to my ear, down my neck and continued to travel lower. When he got to my jeans he sat back up and unbuttoned and unzipped them, pulling them down as slowly as he had taken my shirt off. Every inch he pulled down my pants, he kissed my leg until finally my jeans were off. He came back up for my underwear and did the same thing, kissing the opposite leg of the one he had before.
He was being so slow, taking his time to look and touch every part of my body. I didn't know how he could stand it, when I was dying to have him in me. When he rid me of all of my clothes I moved my hands down to his boxers and pulled them off, finally able to see all of him. I was not disappointed. He screamed of masculinity and perfection. I took longer to look him over, seeing as I had never seen him naked before and he had seen me plenty of times. I decided that I never wanted him to wear clothes again, and I told him that. He laughed huskily and kissed me deeply. His hands continued to roam until they got to the place I wanted them the most. His fingers delved and I moaned into his mouth. He smiled and continued to stroke me and I moved against his hand. His mouth moved off of my own and continued its trail of kisses until it replaced his hands and had me grabbing his hair again. I spread me legs farther, giving him better access. His tongue licked and his teeth bit gently and I was in pure ecstasy. But I wanted to do something for him in return, for he had done this to me many times. I tugged at his hair and he lifted his head and slid back up to me.
I used my strength to flip him over so he was on his back. I took another minute to look him over again before touching him. It was amazing to be able to return what he did to me. To make him grab the bed sheets and clench his teeth and moan loudly. To have him jerking his hips reflexively and to drive him to the point of insanity was better than anything I could imagine. And before I could comprehend what was happening, he was on top of me again, perfectly positioned. He looked into my eyes with heavy lids. "I love you," he whispered again, and then he entered me. I let out a whimper and wrapped my legs around his waist, urging him deeper. He held still momentarily before slowly moving. It was agonizing and I pulled myself closer to him, moving with him and not getting near enough. He dropped kisses on my neck as he whispered how much he loved me. And I tried to verbalize back to him the same, but I could hardly speak. My brain wasn't focusing on anything except the immense pleasure that he was giving to me. His eyes shut and his brow furrowed and he started moving faster. He wrapped his arms around me, holding me tight too him. I came before he did and with his continued movements it sent me over the edge again. He bit into my shoulder as he reached his climax and collapsed on top of me, breathing heavily.
We laid like that for awhile, trying to catch our breath and just enjoying the feeling of being so close. He rolled off of me and laid the sheet over us, gathering me into his arms before we both fell asleep.
Chapter Thirteen - Decisions
I woke up to Isaiah rubbing my bare back. His hands were like magic and I was reminded of the night before. A smile slowly crept to my face. What was I doing? What was he doing to me? Life had been so simple before he entered it. Now he came and mixed up my head and my feelings.
Before him there was just a dark void. The only room I had for emotions was saved for hate and bitterness, now this other emotion was bubbling up inside of me. Love? Had I honestly told him I loved him? I had told many people I loved them, but before it was never true. But this foreign sensation had to be what true love was. It was going to hurt when I lost him. How much longer could this really go on?
I buried my face in his chest and planted light kisses on it. "Good morning, beautiful," he said quietly. The word didn't shock me anymore, but sent a fluttering feeling in my stomach.
"Good morning," I mumbled sleepily. "Do we have to get out of bed today?" I asked and he chuckled.
"I won't make you, but I'm sure your bladder will," he said and I groaned. Just mentioning the word bladder made me have to go.
"Don't move, I'll be right back," I reluctantly rolled out of bed. I felt him stare at me as I walked to the restroom.
"I want to wake up to this every morning," he said in a sigh.
"Me having to pee?" I looked at him over my shoulder. He rolled his eyes.
"No, you walking around in nothing," his gaze traveled all over my body, stopping in certain areas and smiling smugly.
"Don't ever leave," I said simply and walked into the restroom, closing the door behind me. I caught a glance in myself in the mirror and stopped. I laughed, so that's what he was smiling at, hickeys everywhere.
When I was done I climbed back into bed with Isaiah. "You made me into a work of art," I said brightly and he smiled.
"No, you were already a work of art. I just added me own personal touches."
"Well, feel free to do it anytime," I had barely finished my sentence before he had me pinned under him, his lips to my neck. I tilted my head back and laughed. The pain and pleasure mixed and I moaned. He moved and his mouth was on mine in an instant, hot and passionate. I couldn't believe he didn't have morning breath! It was a nice surprise. His bare body was pinned to mine and I could feel every inch of him. My arms and legs wrapped around him, pulling him closer.
* * *
We didn't stay in bed all day like we planned because he got another phone call. He was pissed. He cursed and threw on his clothes, giving me a smoldering kiss before he left, promising me he'd be back later.
I lounged in bed, not really doing anything. I couldn't get my mind off of Isaiah. I thought after having sex with him, he'd be out of my system. But really I just wanted more and more of him. This would be the hardest mission to go through with. I could just tell Isaiah and see his reaction. If he really loved me, like he claimed, he would be willing to run away with me.
But they'd find us. Both my Boss and his would search until the end to get to us. We'd never be able to settle down, we couldn't have a true life. But did we have that now? He killed people for a living, and I destroyed them. What kind of life was that? I knew that there was no way we'd work out, but I wanted it. With all that was left of my heart I wanted it.
I knew that Derek was getting impatient, but I planned to keep Isaiah around as long as I could. I would keep making excuses and telling Derek off. Maybe he'd get sick of me blowing him off and have me killed as well. Then at least I wouldn't be living without Isaiah. I doubted, after him, that I would be able to do my job as well as I use to.
I would also ask Derek if he wouldn't mention me to Isaiah when he killed him. He didn't need to know about me. I would break up with him and let Derek do what he wanted, but I wouldn't have any part of the actual killing. I wouldn't let Isaiah know I betrayed him like that.
I was shaken from my thoughts by my phone ringing. I answered it and was met with Derek's voice. I was surprised he called me after our last conversation. "Another one's gone Delilah. Just a guy low on our list, but still. I think they're getting rid of the small guys before coming after the big ones," he spoke fast.
"Then you'll be the last to die, so no worries Derek," I said in a dull tone.
"As if
they could get to me," his voice was cocky but had an edge to it. He was scared but too macho to admit it.
"So, what do you want? Just to tell me another nameless person was offed? Well, thanks. Bye now," I went to hang up the phone, but heard him yelling.
"Wait! Are you getting through to that guy yet?" He asked me. I sighed. I was going to lie to him so I could keep Isaiah longer.
"Not really. He's a tough nut to crack, but slowly he's coming around. Don't worry. I got this. Like I said, it's going to take longer than usual. Plus I like being in high school again. It's fun, so have patience with me please?" I asked. He was silent briefly.
"Did you just say please?" He was stunned.
"Politeness gets me places with this guy, so I keep on the façade, don't get use to it," just then I heard my front door open. "He's here, got to go," I hung up the phone and met Isaiah downstairs. Like all of the other times he was shaky. I ran up to him and gathered him in a tight hug. He practically crushed me in his grip before pushing me away so his mouth could meet mine in a rough kiss that I was always awarded with when he came back. I pulled away from him and ran my hands down his wet hair.
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