"I love you, Eli. You are the kindest man I have ever known," she told him, placing her smooth cheek against his rough one. Eli looked over her head at his son, and Kane was astonished to see just the hint of tears in his father's eyes.
Kane stood up and walked over to Jonas and took the vase, studying it for a moment. He could see nothing special about the vase. He could not understand what all the fuss was about.
"I assume this is the vase that Lucinda accidentally broke the other day?"
Eli nodded. "It was very valuable, son. Maleaha's grandfather had given it to her." Eli looked at Maleaha. You were misinformed by your grandfather, my dear. The man who repaired it said it would be close to four hundred years old, making it two hundred years older than you thought."
Lucinda stood up and walked around the table and stood beside Kane. "Lord, I never saw such a fuss made over an old vase. One would think I broke something of great value," she said spitefully.
"It was valuable, Lucinda. The man who repaired it told me it would easily have brought three or four thousand dollars, and any museum would have been delighted to add it to their collection." His eyes narrowed and Lucinda looked uncomfortable. "Because of you, Lucinda, the vase is only valuable to Maleaha because her grandfather gave it to her."
Lucinda's eyes widened. Why was Eli speaking to her in such an accusing tone? He had always been so kind to her. "I didn't break it purposely, Eli."
"Oh yes, you did, Lucinda. I overheard you talking to Maleaha and you most certainly did break it deliberately."
"It is of no great importance, Eli," Maleaha intervened. "What's done is done. Let us drop the matter."
Eli's face softened as he looked at Maleaha. "You are too kind, my dear. I listened to the hateful things Lucinda said to you yesterday. You even stood there while she struck you. How can you forgive her, and how can you forgive me for bringing her here?"
Maleaha was confused. She felt her father's arm go around her shoulder. She looked at Kane's face and saw him watching his father in bewilderment. She expected any moment to hear Kane defend the woman he loved. She would have run from the room, but she felt the pressure of her father's hand and knew he was urging her to face whatever came.
"Tomorrow morning I shall take Lucinda and her aunt into town," Eli stated. "There is a stage leaving for the East by the end of the week, and I intend that we will be on it. I cannot expect you to forgive me, Maleaha. I hope in time you will come to like me half as much as I like you. I believe my son to be a very lucky man to have you for his wife. I have rarely if ever met such a shining example of womanhood."
"Oh, Eli," Maleaha cried, moving across the room to be enfolded in his arms. "I not only like you, I love you. I will hate to see you go."
Eli closed his eyes. Yes, she was one in a million. He had tried to push her from his son's life, and instead she had pulled him into her life.
Lucinda stormed out of the room and up the stairs, but no one seemed inclined to go after her.
Eli smiled down at Maleaha, and Jonas laughed deeply. "I told you my little girl was special, Eli."
"Damned right, she is special," Eli agreed.
Mrs. Higgens began clearing the table and Jonas suggested that they move into the sitting room. Maleaha sat down between her father and Eli, while Kane seemed to detach himself from them and sat silent and brooding beside the fireplace.
Maleaha could only guess what he was thinking. Did he wish to go to Lucinda and give her comfort?
"Maleaha, I bet you didn't like me very well when you first saw me, did you?" Eli asked. "I remember you were with Kane in the garden at the fiesta. I said some very harsh things to you that night."
"Actually that was not the first time I had seen you, Eli. I saw you before that night but you did not see me."
"When?"
"I was in Albuquerque with my best friend when I heard that Kane had been injured, so I rushed back to see him. I saw you and your son together, and I didn't want to disturb you."
Kane's head snapped up as he caught her words. He had been haunted for months, thinking Maleaha had not thought enough of him to come to see him when he lay injured. Maleaha was admitting that she had come! The color drained from his face. Dear God! Could Maleaha have loved him? If she had ever loved him he had surely killed that love. What could she think about a man who accused her of lying? Could she love a man who had made her apologize to Lucinda, when in fact it should have been Lucinda who apologized to her? He had made one mistake after another where she was concerned. She had humbled him and brought him to his knees. The worst blow of all must have been today when Maleaha had seen the kiss Lucinda had given him. She had not approached him about Lucinda. Hell, she had hardly even looked at him tonight. Perhaps she just didn't give a damn, he thought.
Kane stood up and stalked out of the room, leaving the others to wonder at his action.
That night Kane didn't come to bed. Maleaha was troubled; what if he had gone to Lucinda? Slipping into her robe, she made her way quietly downstairs. She saw the light coming from beneath the crack underlying his study door. Opening the door softly, she saw Kane asleep on the leather couch. Closing the door quietly, she went back upstairs. He was not with Lucinda, but he was not with her either.
The next morning after breakfast, Maleaha stood on the doorstep beside Eli as Kane pulled the buggy up to the front of the house. He leaped to the ground and began placing the luggage in the back of the buggy. Maleaha noticed that Kane avoided looking at her. When he took Lucinda into Santa Fe, would he want to stay with her?
Lucinda had not joined them for breakfast, but had asked to have a tray sent to her room so she could eat with her aunt.
Lucinda swept past Maleaha, never giving her a second glance. Eli smiled understandingly at his daughter-in-law.
"You know I am going to miss that granddaughter of mine. I am wondering if you would allow me to visit again soon?"
She slid her arm around his waist, then looked up into his face. She gazed into eyes so like Kane's. "I hope you will take the first available stage back to Santa Fe. I have grown very fond of you, Eli, and besides Cimeron needs both of her grandfathers."
"Do you mean that, Maleaha?"
"I can assure you that I do."
Maleaha felt someone bump into her and turned to see a pale-looking woman making her way to the buggy. Eli chuckled and whispered in Maleaha's ear. "Mrs. Blake would not come out of her room once she heard you were half-Indian. I think she feared she might forfeit her life."
Maleaha laughed and kissed Eli on the cheek. "Have a safe trip." She raised her voice so it would carry to Luanda's aunt. "Watch out for wild Indians."
Maleaha did not mind being snubbed by Lucinda and her aunt, but she did mind that Kane seemed to ignore her completely. She stood watching as the buggy pulled away from the house, feeling as if the space between her and Kane was growing. She entered the house, knowing that when Kane returned there would be a confrontation between them.
Maleaha kept busy so the day would pass quickly. She had lunch with Cimeron and then bundled her up and took her for a walk. Dinnertime came and went, and still Kane had not returned. Maleaha was restless as she wandered from room to room looking for something to do. She wished her father had not left early that day, perhaps if he had stayed she and Kane could postpone their talk. No, that would be cowardly. It was best to get it over with.
Entering the sitting room, Maleaha absentmindedly straightened the books in the bookshelves. Walking over to the window, she stood staring out into the twilight as the first snowflakes of winter began to fall. What if Kane had run into trouble? Suppose he was injured? Stop this, she chided herself. She pulled the draperies together and walked over to the sofa and sat down. She found herself watching the clock tick off the minutes. She heard the buggy returning just as the clock struck nine o'clock. She waited silently, knowing Kane would most probably unhitch the buggy himself. Time passed before she heard his heavy footfall and felt a blast of col
d air when he opened the front door.
25
Kane stood silently appraising Maleaha, and she could not tell what his thoughts were. He removed his heavy coat and draped it over the wooden coat tree. Maleaha stood transfixed as Kane's silvery eyes pierced through her. He removed his leather gloves and dropped them on the table.
"I apologize for being late. I drove to Deveraux to see your father.''
"You do not owe me any explanation."
"Do I not?"
"No. Have you eaten?"
"No, I don't want anything." He sat down beside her and leaned his head back against the sofa. Maleaha noticed the dark shadows beneath his eyes and wanted to reach out and comfort him.
"You should have something to eat. I will bring it to you on a tray if you would like."
He turned his head to look at her. She looked so beautiful with the firelight glistening on her black hair. Her green eyes were filled with uncertainty and Kane could not resist reaching out to touch her soft cheek. "I don't want anything to eat. It just feels good to be home."
"Do you think of this as your home, Kane? Do you not wish to return to Boston with your father and Lucinda?"
He ignored her question. ' 'My father was full of praise for you. I don't know how you managed it, but it seems that you have bewitched him in some way."
Maleaha would have stood up, but Kane reached for her hand and restrained her. "Don't go. I want to talk to you."
"Could it not wait?" she asked, wishing with all her heart that she could postpone the inevitable.
"I fear that I have postponed it too long already, Maleaha. I will not wait another day to say what must be said."
"Kane, please," she pleaded in a soft voice. "I don't know what you want of me. Have I not always done as you asked me to?"
"Yes, all I ask of you and more. For the moment, I would like you to accompany me upstairs to our bedroom."
Maleaha gave him a questioning look, and he smiled. "I want no more than to talk to you where we will not be disturbed. Mrs. Higgens could come into the room at any time. What I have to say to you is for your ears alone."
Maleaha could think of nothing more to postpone their discussion. She stood up and followed Kane upstairs. When they reached the bedroom, Kane closed the door and motioned for her to sit down on the bed.
Maleaha hesitated. Kane, seeing that she did not trust him, picked up a chair and placed it beside the bed. He then sat down on the bed and offered her the chair.
Maleaha sat with her hands folded demurely in her lap, knowing that what was yet to come would be very hard to endure. Her eyes wandered over her husband's handsome face. His dark hair fell carelessly across his forehead. She looked into his eyes and noted that they were pain-filled. She swallowed hard, knowing he was having a hard time telling her about his love for Lucinda. She loved him, but she was not about to make it any easier for him.
"Maleaha, I have to go back a long way in hopes of making you understand about myself. I have found you to be a very forgiving person. I hope you can find it within you to forgive me."
She started to speak, but Kane silenced her with a glance.
"Before I met you, Maleaha, I was a very selfish man. I took from everyone, but never gave of myself. I could make all kind of excuses for myself, but that would be trite. I have known many women, Maleaha, I will not deny that. I never loved any of them. I didn't know how to love."
"But Lucinda…?"
Kane held up his hand for her to be silent. "One day, on a day that started out much as any other, I met this lovely Indian maiden. From the first I felt drawn to her. She . . . you turned out to be more than I had bargained for. You were highly intelligent. In most instances you made me look like a fool."
"No, Kane, I never…"
"Let me have my say before I lose my nerve, Maleaha. You have no idea how difficult this is for me."
She nodded.
"As you will remember, I wanted to make you my mistress. What a foolish bastard I was. I found out that night of the ball just how low I had sunk. You made me squirm that night, did you know that?"
Maleaha smiled. "Yes, I know."
He glanced at the ceiling, and Maleaha waited for him to continue. This was not what she had expected him to say. She could see no point to what he was telling her.
' 'The night when you came to me at the Jojoba village and asked me to save you from Mangas, I knew I would do anything to keep him from getting his hands on you. I wanted no one to have you save myself. I would have killed Mangas before I would have allowed him to touch you."
His voice became deep and husky and Maleaha could not meet his silver gaze.
"When I made love to you that night, I knew I had never felt that way with a woman before…" He paused as if he was having a hard time speaking. When he did speak his voice came out in a painful whisper.
' 'I knew that I loved you more than my own life. When Mangas united us that night, I knew that I wanted to tie you to me forever.''
Maleaha placed her hands over her face. He had said that he loved her. Oh, please don't let it be some cruel jest, she pleaded silently. Maleaha felt tears wash down her face, and she brushed them away hurriedly.
"I intended to ask you to marry me when I returned to Santa Fe, but you know what happened then. I was wounded and was unable to come to you, and I thought you had not come to me." He closed his eyes for a moment, before he could bring himself to continue.
"I was half out of my mind when I thought you did not care enough about me to come and see me."
"I came, Kane, but I didn't stay to see you. I heard you and your father discussing me."
"Is that what happened? Is that why you left without seeing me?"
Maleaha nodded.
"Tell me what you overheard."
"You ... I heard you say I was a . . . half-breed, and your father would not think I was good enough for you," she said in a voice that plainly showed how hurt »he had been that day. "I left not wanting to hear any more."
"You should not have left, Maleaha, for had you stayed, you would have heard me telling my father that I loved you and wanted you for my wife."
"Kane, I thought you wanted to marry Lucinda. I thought you loved her."
"No, Maleaha, I never loved Lucinda. She is the last woman I would ever have wanted to marry."
"But, Kane, why didn't you tell me all of this before?"
"I was going to. The night you came to the fiesta with Clay Madason, I was eaten up with jealousy. I was going to ask you to marry me that night, but, as you recall, it didn't quite work out that way. After you had run away I searched for you. When I heard you had gone away to join your father, I knew there was nothing I could do until you returned. I bought this land and had the house built, hoping when you returned I could convince you to marry me.
"You had this house built for me?"
Kane could see the tears in her beautiful eyes, and wondered if they were tears of pity. "Yes. I wanted it to be the kind of house you would feel comfortable in. I wanted you to fix it up as you had your father's home at Deveraux."
Maleaha shook her head, unable to speak.
"Do you have any idea how I felt when I was summoned to the Jojoba village by Mangas, and found that you had run away to have my child?" He didn't give her a chance to answer. "At first I was angry and confused, then I began to see Cimeron as a means of forcing you to marry me. I admit I used our daughter to get you, Maleaha." He seemed to want to avoid her eyes. "I love Cimeron, Maleaha. But I used her."
"Kane, please . . . I . . ."
"Hush, darling, allow me to finish and then you can have your say."
Maleaha wanted to reach out to him. He loved her! She could hardly believe that they both loved each other, and that they had kept that love hidden.
"When I forced you to accompany me to the mission, and the priest married us, I felt that with time and patience, I might earn your respect. It was too much for me to hope that I would ever have your love. I t
hought if I didn't make any demands on you, you wouldn't leave me. I hadn't reckoned with my desire for you, however. When I was near you, all I could think about was making love to you. I wanted to make love to you as I had that night in the Jojoba village."
His eyes were soft as he searched her face. "It was good between us, Maleaha, even you will have to admit that. I knew even if I didn't have your love, that I could satisfy your body. When I made love to you was the only time I felt you truly belonged to me. At times I would want to tell you about my love for you, but I was a coward. I feared you would scorn my love."
"Kane!"
"No, let me finish, darling. I want you to know the worst and the best of me." He reached for her hand and pulled her onto the bed beside him. Raising her hand to his face, he closed his eyes.
Maleaha felt a sob deep inside her throat. Kane was such a strong, proud man, she knew it was very difficult for him to humble himself like this.
Clasping her hand tightly, he continued. "Maleaha, each afternoon after working hard all day, I could not wait to come home to you and our daughter. I cannot tell you how good it was walking through that front door and knowing you would be waiting for me. You didn't love me, but you would be here all the same. You would have a nice meal waiting for me, and you would listen while I told you about my day. I don't know how long things might have gone on as they were had you not started helping Betsy. Let me say now that I was eaten up with jealousy when I thought you were not with Betsy but spending time with Clay Madason."
"Kane, I never…”
' 'I know that, Maleaha. I am so sorry, my love, for not trusting you then, and again when you went to the Jojoba village to be with your aunt." He touched her face and looked deeply into her eyes. "I am so sorry about your aunt's death, Maleaha."
A tear escaped her eyes, and Kane bent his head to kiss it away. "I promise you, darling that I will never doubt your word again. Believe me, I finally know what a wonderful person you are. I have never known anyone finer or braver. Stay with me, Maleaha. Allow me to love you and hopefully learn from you."
Enchanted Ecstasy Page 33
