Give Me Tonight

by Lisa Kleypas

  He met Addie's hungry stare with a faint nod, understanding all that she wanted to say but could not. It was the hardest thing she had ever done to sit at the table when all she wanted to do was throw herself at him and snuggle into his arms. Her throat loosened in relief. It seemed as if she had been holding her breath for hours. Her eyes moved over him as she tried to assure herself that he was all right, and she focused on the bloodstains on his shirt. She was shaken by sudden panic.

  "Ben, there's blood-"

  "One of the fence-cutters was killed," he interrupted, downing half a mug of coffee in one swallow. "Pete and I took the body to town. The sheriff seems to have taken our side in all of this, but the rest of the county is going to be hopping mad-"

  "What the hell for?" Russell exploded. "You mean a man can't defend himself and his own property when he's bein' attacked?"

  Ben shrugged as he regarded the other man. "You know what the general opinion about your fence is, Russ. On top of that, the first rule of the code is never shoot a man in the back, whether he's law-abiding or a damn horse thief. It just doesn't smell good. "

  "The rest of the county had better take a good whiff of it anyway," Russell fired back. "It'll help 'em understand what happens to anyone who lays a goddamn finger on my fence."

  "Daddy," Addie broke in, "I know your pride is involved, but there are times when-"

  "I'll be damned if! need to start takin' advice from my own daughter," Russell roared.

  Addie closed her mouth, sensing the surprise that had flickered through the room, not at Russell's reaction but at her attempt to state an opinion. Disapproval was etched in every face but Ben's, and he was looking at Russell steadily.

  "Russ, you know I'll back you no matter what you decide," Ben said, his face inscrutable. "But it's my position to make you aware of all your options." He slid a glance in the direction of the office and looked back at Russell with an arched brow. "Let's go have a drink, hmmn?"

  Ben's persuasive tone and the welcome suggestion caused Russell's anger to fade magically. Without hesitation he nodded and preceded Ben out of the room. Ben gave Addie a reassuring glance before following. She felt better immediately, certain that he would prevent Russell from doing anything drastic.

  "Peter, aren't you going with them?" Caroline prodded. "You're a member of the family, and-"

  "They don't need me," her husband replied, yawnng and standing up. "I'm going to bed."

  Caro fell silent and followed him, leaving May and Addie alone in the kitchen.

  Addie fidgeted with the sleeves of her robe before making a move to stand up. May stopped her with a single observation.

  "Ben's treated more like a member of the family than Pete, isn't he?"

  Addie wasn't sure what May was really asking. "I don't know what you mean. Peter's your son-in-law, while Ben's only-"

  "Your father couldn't care less about what Pete has to say. He relies on Ben."

  "Everyone does, to a certain extent."

  "But especially your father. And you."

  She was stunned by May's bluntness. "What do you- "

  "Is Ben going to be my other son-in-law?" May asked, surprisingly resigned. "I saw the way he looked at you just now. You're two of a kind. I couldn't bear to admit it until now."

  "Mama, maybe we should talk about this when you're not so tired."

  "I want to hear it from you. It's worse suspectin' and not knowin', Adeline. And there are things that need to be said between us."

  "It's hard to tell you how I feel about him when I know how you feel."

  "It's not a personal dislike. Lord knows he could charm the birds out of the trees. I just know he's not good for you."

  "But he is." Addie leaned forward and spoke swiftly, eagerly. "You don't really know him, Mama, not as he really is."

  "He'll be difficult to handle."

  "Not for me."

  "If you marry him you'll never get away from here."

  "I don't want to."

  "The two of you are like fire and powder. The explosions might be exciting for now, but you'll never have a moment's peace. Later you'll regret-"

  "I'd die if I married a man who wouldn't let me argue with him. We're both strong-willed, but we're learning how to accommodate each other. And he listens to me, Mama, really listens, and respects what I have to say."

  "I know. I've heard the two of you. He talks to you as if you're a man. You might enjoy the novelty of that at first, but it's not right for him to treat you as if-"

  "Why not? Why not talk to me as if I have a head on my shoulders?"

  "He should treat you more gently, instead of tellin' you about men's business and worryin' you with things that don't concern you. You're a woman, Adeline, with your own place and your own concems-"

  "And I tell him about those too."

  "Oh, good Lord." May leaned her forehead on her palm.

  "I know it sounds a little radical, but why do there have to be lines between a husband and wife they aren't allowed to cross? Why the separation and the distance between them? There are things you and Caro and all our women friends tell each other but wouldn't dream of mentioning to your husbands. But a man has a right to know his wife's personal feelings, and-"

  "A decent man wouldn't be interested in such things!" May snapped, and Addie quieted, understanding it would distress her mother to hear any more. There was silence between them, and then May spoke wearily. "I guess you plan to marry him."

  "Yes."

  "I suppose you've taken time to figure out he's after the ranch as much as anything else."

  "He'd end up with Sunrise anyway. Daddy's planning to make him trustee in the new will."

  "I know. That would put him in charge of the ranch. But by marryin' you, he'll own the biggest piece of it. "

  "He would marry me if I were a pauper."

  "Are you certain of that?"

  "I've never been more certain of anything."

  May looked at her daughter's serious eyes and stubbornly set jaw, and her own face wrinkled with unhappiness. It was difficult for her to accept defeat in this, of all things. "You've never looked so much like your father," she said, and left the room.

  Addie sat alone, massaging her temples. An abnormal quiet reigned over the house and the ranch, the silence after the storm. She waited until she heard Russell's office door opening and the sound of subdued voices. Warily she crept out of the kitchen and stood in a shadow, watching as Russell went up the stairs to catch an hour of sleep before the beginning of a difficult day. Ben stood at the bottom step, rubbing the back of his neck as he turned to leave. He saw her but made no move as she walked toward him.

  "Did he listen?" she asked softly.

  "Some." He sighed with a mixture of weariness and worry. "I don't know how much."

  She reached up to him and smoothed back a lock of hair that had fallen over his forehead. "He always respects what you have to say."

  As he felt her drawing closer to him and saw the tenderness in her face, Ben froze. He'd never turned to anyone for comfort before. He'd been raised to bear his burdens alone, and he'd always managed to get along just fine without anyone's help. The last thing he needed was a woman's solace. And yet… he had an irresistible urge to pull Addie close and pour out his frustrations to her. Here she was, confronting him, forcing him to include her in his private feelings.

  Addie saw the indecision in his face and understood it more than he could have imagined. Until she'd met him, she'd fought to keep the same distance between herself and everything that threatened to come too close. But whether he admitted it or not, he needed her. She stood on her toes and wrapped her arms around his neck, her lips grazing his unshaven jaw.

  "Try to keep me at a distance," she said huskily. "I won't let you."

  He was still for a moment, and then he bent his head and kissed her, his hand fitting behind her neck and tilting it back. Addie sighed and gripped his shoulders tightly. Weariness and doubt scattered like leaves before th
e wind. When he buried his mouth in the curve between her neck and shoulder, she slid her arms around his back and felt the tenseness of his muscles.

  "Me the first part of the night, then the fence cutters," she whispered. "You haven't had any rest at all."

  "You tired me out a hell of a lot more than the fence-cutters," he muttered, his hands wandering over her slim body.

  "Will you be able to get a little sleep?"

  "It's only an hour until dawn. Pretty soon I'll have to get the men started, make sure they know what they're supposed to be doing for the day. I might as well stay awake." Taking it for granted that she would stay with him, Ben picked her up and carried her into the dimly lit parlor. As he settled into a slick horsehair sofa, he pulled her into his lap and they shared another smoldering kiss.

  "I was worried about you," Addie confessed, pushing past his shirt to lay her cheek against the bare skin of his chest.

  "Me?" He strained his fingers through her hair and coiled a lock of it around his hand. "No reason to be, darlin'. The shooting was over long before I arrived on the scene. "

  "When I heard you were taking the body to town, I was afraid someone would take a shot at you."

  Ben half-smiled for the first time, turning his face down until their noses touched. "I think I like having someone worry over me."

  "You're not the only one I'm worried about." He sobered instantly. "Russ."

  "I don't like the position he's put himself in."

  "I admit he'll have to be careful from now on, but I don't think there's as much cause for concern as you seem to-"

  "I think it's more serious than that," she said earnestly. "It's obvious he'll fight until his last breath to keep the fence up. If you were the Johnsons, or any of the other people who are losing money and property because of it, wouldn't you think the only thing to do is get him out of the way permanently?"

  Ben stared at her silently, denial hovering on his lips.

  "He's in danger," she said. "I know it."

  "I'll talk to him."

  "He has to be protected." Though she tried to sound matter-of-fact, her voice was strained. "Maybe I sound overdramatic, but I'm not certain he's safe in the house."

  "Addie, don't start borrowing trouble when-"

  "Would you think about having someone watch the house at night? Please."

  "Are you serious?" Ben shook his head in bemusement. "Honey, no one would get past the line riders on the border of the property. And even if someone did manage that, do you actually think he'd have the balls to sneak into the house? And if he got that far, how's he supposed to find the room Russ sleeps in? And if-"

  "What if it was someone who knew the ranch well?"

  "If you're going to spend your time worrying, there are plenty of more likely things to worry about."

  "Please." Unconsciously Addie clutched handfuls of his shirt. "Have someone watch the house every night." She searched for the right words to say, something that would make him agree. "Please… I'm afraid."

  Her last words affected him visibly. "Addie," he said, cradling her face in his hands, his eyes searching, "have you seen or heard something?"

  "Not exactly. "

  "I can't help unless you tell me."

  Tell you what? That I lived in the future for twenty years and found out how my father was murdered? Oh, and not only that, but I helped plan it, although I don't happen to remember what the plan was. And by the way, if I hadn't fallen in love with you, I'd still consider you a suspect, and probably would anyway if I didn't know how much you care for Russell. Just how am I supposed to tell you all that?

  "Just do as I ask," she begged. "And don't let Daddy know, or he'll put a stop to it. He thinks he can protect himself."

  "Don't know why he'd think that. He's only lived thirty years on the range with hardly a scratch on him."

  "Are you going to post a man outside the house?" She frowned until he nodded reluctantly. "Is that a promise? You aren't just telling me that to keep me quiet?"

  Ben stared her down, his voice ominously soft. "I'd never lie to you, Adeline."

  "I didn't mean to imply that. I'm just-"

  "Afraid," he murmured, stroking the side of her face with a fingertip. Despite the gentleness of his touch, she shivered with apprehension.

  "You're angry."

  "I'd wring your little neck if I thought I'd find out what's happened to make you feel this way."

  "It's not important."

  "It is to me."

  "I'm just concerned about Daddy, that's all. And now that I know someone will watch the house, I feel much better."

  But Ben wasn't placated, and he continued to scowl, even as she decorated his face with invisible kisses.

  "That's not helping, Adeline."

  Addie stopped and looked at him, aware that her attempt at playfulness had fallen flat. She was still afraid and they both knew it. Time was drawing nearer, bringing with it an unavoidable sense of doom. She was frightened for Russell, and for Ben. He'd been blamed for Russell's murder before: he'd fled Sunrise and wandered for fifty years. She'd seen him, a pathetic old man without a home. The opposite of everything he was now. The image was dim, but still it lingered in the back of her mind, haunting her.

  "Hold me," she finally said, feeling wretchedly guilty, and his arms drew around her. His voice was rough and caressing at the same time.

  "Little fool. Do you think I'm going to let anything happen to you? Keep your secrets for now. But this is the last time I'll stand by and wring my hands over another of your little mysteries. There's going to come a time when I start asking questions, Addie, and I'll expect some answers. And God help you then if you try to sweet-talk me out of it. Understand?" Ben waited until he felt her nod against his chest. Then he pressed his lips against her hair. "Don't be afraid. Everything's going to be fine. You know I'll take care of you."

  As she clung to him, the dread and guilt disappeared. Warmth stole through her with a penetrating glow. She luxuriated in the protection of his body, melting with pleasure as his hands moved over her back. As long as she was in his arms, he could keep her safe from anything. If only he would hold her forever. She longed to tell him what she was truly afraid of, but there was no way she could, unless it was indirectly.

  "Ben? If you cared about a person and then found out he'd done some bad things in the past, would it change your feelings about him?"

  "It depends," Ben said thoughtfully. His hands stopped in mid-motion, then resumed their stroking. "I suppose it would depend on what he did. If it was bad enough… yes, it would change how I felt about him."

  "But what if he'd changed and was truly sorry about what he'd done?"

  "I'm not one to judge. You're talking to a former mavericker, remember?"

  "Is mavericking the worst thing you've ever done?" Ben smiled slightly. "Oh, I'll admit to worse if I have to. Anyone who knew me before I came to Texas would tell you I had a misspent youth."

  "Are you sorry now for the things you did back then?"

  "I rarely bother thinking about the past. And no, I don't waste time regretting things. I've paid for my worst mistakes two or three times over." He noticed the hollow at the base of her throat, revealed by the parted edged of her robe, and ducked his head to nibble at the delicate spot.

  "Why the sudden interest in sin and atonement?" he asked, his voice muffled. "Remembering some schoolroom prank you never got caught for? You hid the teacher's chalk, I'll bet. Or whispered with your friends in the middle of geography-"

  "Never," she said, relieved at the change of subject. She let her head fall to his shoulder, enjoying the plundering of his mouth. "I was always well behaved."

  Deftly he unfastened the tiny buttons at the throat of her nightgown, one by one, moving down to her breasts. "I've heard differently, Adeline."

  "Don't believe a word of it. And besides, you were probably no angel either."

  Ben grinned. "I was always getting suspended."

  "Troublemak
er."

  "Mmn-hmn. Once I hid a snake in Mary Ashburn's desk." He chuckled lazily. "She pulled it out when she reached for her pencil "

  "How mean!"

  "Just-a little garden snake. Hardly worth all that screaming. "

  "Why did you do it?"

  "Because I liked her."

  "Your courting has improved."

  "Practice," he said, his hand slipping underneath the folds of her nightgown, and she grabbed at it to stop his explorations.

  "With many women?"

  "Not as many as you seem to suspect. Haven't we talked about this before?"

  "You said you'd tell me sometime about why you're so liberal in your ideas about women. About the one that had such an effect on you-"

  "What makes you so sure it was one woman?"

  "Intuition. Was it someone you were in love with?"

  "In a way."

  "Did you think about marrying her?"

  Ben's face changed, and he looked uncomfortable, wary, perhaps a little bitter. "Addie, I'm not ready to talk about it."

  "She hurt you, didn't she?"

  Despite his irritation, Ben laughed ruefully at her persistence. And her accuracy. "Why is it so important?"

  "I know hardly anything about your past. There's so much about you I don't understand, and it bothers me that you know so much more about me than I do about you. You're a puzzle. Why are you the way you are, and why-"

  "Whoa. Before I explain anything. I'd like to point out I sure as hell don't understand everything about you. "

  "Was she important to you?" Addie asked, ignoring his attempt to sidetrack her.

  "At the time, I thought she was everything." Ben rested his head on the back of the sofa, looking up at the ceiling. "Have you ever wanted something so much you would have gone to hell and back to get it? And once you had it, the tighter you tried to hold on, the less of a grip you had? She was like that. I'd never met anyone so elusive. The more distant she was, the more I wanted her. "

  Addie was surprised to feel a stab of jealousy. Suddenly she wasn't certain she wanted to hear about his desire for another woman, but at the same time she burned to know about the mysterious past he talked so little about.

  "Who was she?"