by R. L. Weeks
A little dormouse sat at the end of the table, sipping a tiny cup of tea, her sword stuck in a blue napkin. The pair were grinning at each other. Croon’s purple top hat had slipped and now sat lopsided on his head.
Croon’s hat shot off his head and zoomed in the air then hovered above the table. ‘Enough!’ Croon shouted, his playful smile turning to a hard line then, without warning, he shrieked and laughed. ‘Oh, Chess.’
Wendy, the dormouse, jumped up onto the table and grabbed her sword, pointing it at the sky. ‘Chess,’ she hissed.
A black and purple cat with big eyes and a broad grin materialised with the hatter’s hat on its head. ‘I’m not going to eat you, Wendy.’
She frowned. ‘Last time, I was stuck in your stomach for weeks …’
‘I thought you were just an ordinary animal, not a magical one,’ he justified as he floated down onto one of the gothic black chairs. ‘I did sick you up once I knew, though,’ he pointed out with a hint of a smile.
She stabbed her sword into the table. ‘Only because I caused you a stomach ache.’
He shrugged and looked over at the hatter. ‘I believe it’s time for tea.’
The hatter nodded enthusiastically. ‘It is, it is, it is time for tea!’ he sang. ‘Someone must have said the name.’
Wendy looked over at the fence and saw Stilt. ‘Or someone’s come to Wonderland who could challenge even the queen.’
They both looked at her and rolled their eyes.
‘It was prophesised,’ she said, defending herself, and pointed at the fence. ‘Why else would Stilt come here? Look. He never comes.’
‘True …’ Chess said and purred. ‘True.’
The hatter stood up. ‘Come in, Stilt.’
Stilt crawled down the wall and over to the table; behind him, Alice opened the gate and walked into the garden, followed by Robin.
Wendy gasped. ‘Alice?’
Alice looked at the little mouse and furrowed her brows. ‘Does everyone know me here?’
Wendy shook her head. ‘It’s me, Alice!’
Alice’s eyes widened. ‘Wendy.’ She ran at her sister and lifted her in the air then hugged her against her cheek. ‘I’ve come to save you, Wends. I got your letter. How are you a mouse and how … oh, so many questions.’
Chess tutted. ‘Yes, it’s all very touching,’ he said, seeming bored. ‘The real question is how are you going to get us all out of here?’
‘What?’ Alice said to the cat and placed Wendy back onto the table. ‘I can’t save you.’
‘You can,’ Chess replied. ‘It is prophesised’—he looked at Wendy and smirked—‘so it must be true.’
The sarcasm in his tone was not missed by Alice, who placed her hands on her hips. ‘Look, I can’t save anyone, and it is not prophesised. I’m not a saviour nor do I care to be. All I want to do is find a way for myself and my sister to go home.’
‘Aww,’ Chess said and sighed quite unconvincingly. ‘Shame that you cannot leave unless you are with your true love.’ He shrugged. ‘But then I’m guessing you can capture the hearts of many men in Wonderland with that radiant attitude of yours.’
Again, the sarcasm did not go unnoticed. ‘Well, seeing as no one can leave unless they are in love, it would explain why you’re trapped here.’ She lowered her gaze and, with a hint of a smile, said, ‘I’m truly surprised that no one has fallen in love with the delightfulness that is you.’
Robin helped himself to cake and laughed. ‘Oh, Alice.’
Chess ignored Robin and turned to Alice, grinning broadly. ‘Oh, Alice, you are right. That is, however, not here nor there. Please, have some cake. I do believe it was your sister who made these delicious treats.’
The hatter stood back up. ‘Yes! Please, have some tea … We have all sorts of tea.’ He skipped over to the bottom of the table and grabbed two teapots. ‘We have Earl Grey, or perhaps you would like some green tea’— he looked around the table—‘or perhaps Keemun black tea, a favourite of mine, or some Oolong?’
Alice giggled. ‘Earl Grey please, fine sir.’ He poured it into her cup, and she sipped it. He waited by her in anticipation. ‘Truly lovely.’ The hatter jumped with delight and skipped over to Robin.
‘Earl Grey is fine, thanks,’ he said dryly. The hatter poured the tea and smiled then returned to his seat.
Alice looked down at the glistening tarts. Her stomach growled with impatience. She took a bite into one and devoured the rest, then three more, before licking her lips and looking up. ‘Wendy,’ she breathed. ‘It’s been so long. You must tell me what happened while you were here!’
Wendy lowered her head. ‘I’m afraid it’s a rather boring story, really.’
Alice laughed and grabbed another scone, buttering it and adding lashes of jam and cream. ‘You ended up in Neverland then Wonderland, and now, you are a mouse. How could that story possibly be boring?’
‘It is,’ Wendy stated, not wanting to tell her sister how she was used and then failed to coming home. How she failed in life, in general. ‘Nothing much to tell.’
Alice gave her a sideways glance. ‘I don’t believe it. You can tell me when we leave.’
‘We cannot leave here,’ Wendy said. ‘It’s impossible.’
‘Now, now,’ Alice replied, smiling. ‘Sometimes, I believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast.’
The hatter jumped, jolting the table. ‘Of course, of course, Alice … nothing is impossible. You can help us. You can go to the queen and find the secret to getting us out of here.’
The Cheshire cat raised its eyebrows at Alice.
The hatter seemed so nice that she didn’t want to tell him that she was only interested in getting herself and Wendy out of Wonderland. With a heavy heart, she sighed. ‘I’ll find a way,’ she said, being careful not to promise anything. ‘Is there anything I should know?’
The hatter squealed. ‘First, we must dress you in the proper attire for Wonderland.’
Wendy squeaked. ‘Lucky you! He is the best dress and hat maker in all of Wonderland.’
Alice grinned. ‘I can quite believe it,’ she said, thinking back to all the stories about Wonderland she had read, and how, at least, the hatter seemed to be accurate to the stories. ‘You know, it’s like I’ve walked right into one of my dreams.’
‘Or one of your nightmares,’ the Cheshire cat said grimly.
She huffed. ‘It doesn’t seem that bad.’
He grinned. ‘You have no idea. I’m the queen’s pet, and even I hate it here.’
Robin stood up and looked up at the cat. ‘You must tell me where can I find the Sword of Souls?’
They all looked at Robin, and Alice furrowed her eyebrows. ‘So that’s what you’re after?’
Chess grinned. ‘It’s safe and locked away.’
Robin slammed his fist on the table. ‘I swear, cat, tell me, or I’ll …’
‘You’ll what?’ Alice asked. ‘You can’t do anything here, and for goodness’ sakes, get your temper under control.’ She turned to Chess. ‘Everyone deserves to be spoken to kindly even if he is a sarcastic, horrible little fur ball.’
Chess smiled and mockingly placed his hand over his heart, looking at Robin. ‘Yes … everyone deserves to be spoken to kindly.’
Alice scoffed. ‘Why do I bother?’
Robin took in a patient breath. ‘Please … I can pay you. I must know where it is. I need it.’
Chess stroked his chin. ‘I have no need for money, but I suppose it would hurt the queen if her precious sword were to disappear. I will help you, but you must come to the castle.’
‘Fine,’ Robin said quickly.
Alice put her hand up. ‘Wait, how do we know this isn’t a trap?’
‘You don’t.’ Chess giggled then floated toward the forest. ‘Meet you there, either way …’
He disappeared, and Croon beckoned Alice and Robin. ‘Come on then. If you are going to the castle, then you must look the part. If not, you will stick o
ut as outsiders.’
Croon walked them into his house. Alice smiled as she looked around at his oddly shaped furniture and mismatched colors. Hanging from the orange ceiling was a black chandelier with glistening black diamonds. The carpet was royal blue and on it were thick white rugs. There were three coffee tables, and on the shelves were unique and colorful hats, designed to perfection. Although it was all rather odd, Alice thought it was fantastic. It was all crafted to such a unique perfection that Alice felt an appreciation for the hatter. He beckoned them into a room down a bright pink corridor and pointed at a purple futon. They sat down and noticed how comfortable it was. Robin’s shoulder brushed against Alice’s arm, and she felt how muscular he was. None of the men from London, at least that she had been matched with, were. He glanced at her sideways, and she offered a small smile.
The room was warm and smelled a little musky. A mirror reached across one wall and ran from the floor to the ceiling. By the door was a mannequin with a beautiful blue ball gown on it. On the skirt was a thousand glistening gems. He walked over to two double doors at the left of the large room. Alice gasped as he threw them open, showing off a magnificent wardrobe filled with beautiful dresses, suits, and stands of accessories for all ages and genders; and some were even made to fit various animals.
Croon studied her for a moment then disappeared amongst the clothes, reappearing with layers of fabric and pins. ‘Stand,’ he said and started undoing her dress. Alice blushed as the hatter pulled down her dress and tights. He wasn’t bothered at all, being used to it, but Robin couldn’t take his eyes off her. Alice gulped, hoping Croon would hurry and cover her up. Croon looked at Robin. ‘I think a white suit and silver cufflinks with a dark blue shirt and pocket hanky would look great on you. It will match Alice’s dress subtly. You will both be the beautifulest couple in Wonderland.’
Robin hid a smile, yet his lips curved a little anyway, and Alice couldn’t meet Robin’s gaze. ‘We’re just friends,’ she said quickly, ‘and I say friends loosely.’
Robin placed his hand over his heart and pretended to have a heart attack. ‘I’m so hurt by that.’
She grinned. ‘He’s all right, I guess.’
Robin rolled his eyes but couldn’t stop smiling. ‘You’re not too bad yourself, love.’
‘Thank y –Ow,’ Alice said as a pin pricked her in the back. She looked down at the hatter as he designed her dress. ‘May I ask you something?’
‘Of course.’
‘Thank you.’ She paused and bit her lip. ‘Why are you so … mad? I mean the stories never really say why.’
‘What?’ His beautiful blue eyes widened with sadness. ‘I am not mad. Everyone thinks me mad? What stories?’
Alice bit her lip again. ‘In my world, people have written stories, perhaps those who have been here and managed to escape. They are passed off as fiction, of course, but I see now they must be true. Extraordinary, really.’
Croon stood up. ‘I am not mad,’ he protested. ‘I was alone here for a long time. I had no one then the queen stuck me in a time paradox where I could not do my favourite thing. I could never have tea with my friends. Once, I was a lost boy in Neverland,’ he stated. ‘No family. Nothing. I have seen more horror than you could imagine in your darkest nightmares. I am damaged, and I am kooky, but I’m not mad.’
Alice closed her mouth and lowered her gaze to the floor. ‘Sorry.’
He laughed. ‘It is not your fault, young one. You were not to know. Plus, I suppose when I think about it, I’d rather be called mad by the ignorant and incredible by the open-minded.’ He smiled and stepped back.
Robin looked Alice up and down, and she looked incredible. Alice twirled and looked at the mirror and gasped. She had never looked so … beautiful.
The dress cinched at her waist, making it appear smaller than it was, yet the dress was more comfortable than the ones she had worn in London. The dark blue dress shimmered in the light, breaking off into a thousand shades of blue. The skirt of the dress stopped at her knees and dropped in layers around the back until it reached the back of her ankles. Black net reached out, and the skirt was made out of fifteen layers of fabric, including velvet and cotton. The top of the dress was a sweetheart neckline, and the top cupped her small chest in a flattering way. At the top left, a piece of net reached out from the front of the dress to the back, reaching over her shoulder. Her blond hair fell long down both sides of her face and down her front, in soft waves, and the tips were a dark blue. ‘You’re an excellent hair dresser too,’ she complimented. ‘It is the most beautiful dress I have ever seen.’
His cheeks blushed, and he bowed his head. ‘It has a beautiful model to show it off in all its glory.’
She smiled. ‘Thank you.’ Looking in the mirror, she noticed that her shoes were covered with blue crystals. ‘I will be the belle of the ball.’ He looked at her oddly but didn’t say anything. She noticed the look. ‘It means I will look the best, seeing as I have the best dress in Wonderland. Wendy was right. Lucky, I am.’
The hatter laughed. ‘You speak oddly. I like you.’
She blushed. ‘Oh, I didn’t realise, but I suppose I do. I like you too, Croon.’
Croon turned to Robin. ‘You. G— get over here,’ he said, holding a bunch of pins. He walked off to get more fabric, and Robin shot Alice a look that she could only take as a ‘please help me.’ She laughed as the hatter returned and got to work.
‘It’s hot in here,’ Robin complained.
The hatter rolled his eyes. ‘Complains a lot, this one,’ he said to Alice.
Alice smiled in reply and looked at Robin, who was wearing nothing but briefs.
His barrel chest was covered with black hair; his arms were so muscular that Alice was sure no normal suit would have fit him. He stood tall and looked down at Alice with a brooding stare. She felt her heart skip a beat. He was, in fact, devilishly handsome; not that she would admit it out loud. Well, he was but not by London’s standards. The rich men there were pasty, fair-haired, and short. Not that she minded that, but their personalities were snooty and condescending. Robin, however, was a bit of rogue and not the type of man her parents would ever have chosen for her, but she would definitely have chosen herself. She imagined how it would feel to have his arms wrapped around her, how it would feel to rest her head on his chest and …
Her face flushed red. ‘I’m going to wait outside.’
Robin smirked. ‘All this a bit much for you?’
She lifted an eyebrow. ‘You know; you’re quite the egotist.’
He laughed. ‘An honest one.’
‘Still.’
‘I thought you were going.’
‘I am,’ she said.
‘See you in a minute then, love.’
She walked outside and was showered with compliments. ‘I must leave for the castle soon, with Robin,’ she said to Wendy. ‘Are you all coming?’ she asked.
Stilt frowned. ‘I hate the castle, but you have fun,’ he said with a glint in his eyes.
Alice looked at Wendy. ‘Will you come?’
Wendy sighed. ‘You would be in danger if you were to be seen with me, but I promise to wait here for you, and if you need me, you only need to send a message, and I will come to you.’
Alice laughed and patted Wendy on her little head. ‘I’ll be fine, little sister.’
Wendy frowned. She had always lived in Alice’s shadow, and it appeared she always would. Alice turned. ‘What way do I go?’
Stilt pointed at the woods. ‘That way.’
Alice nodded. Croon walked out, and behind him, Robin walked out dressed in a crisp white suite which fitted him perfectly. The white contrasted with his sun-kissed skin, and he had left the top two buttons undone on his dark blue shirt. He tousled his hair and joined them. Even Wendy looked like she might pass out at the sight of him. ‘Wow, you look …’ Wendy started, ‘very handsome.’ She squeaked and quickly walked over to one of the teapots.
‘Thank you.’ He loo
ked at Alice with a mischievous smile. ‘You ready, love?’
‘Yes,’ she breathed and looked over at Wendy. ‘Soon,’ she whispered and walked into the woods. A mossy mattress covered the ground, and the last of the icicles dropped from the trees. Toadstools littered the trodden path as she wound through the aged trees. The woody incense filled her nose. The queen’s birds tweeted around the pair then quickly flew off back to the castle.
The rebels banded together in the inn. Kumar, one of the leaders, stood on a table and brandished his sword. ‘Excellent news, gentlemen; the prophesised one has come to Wonderland.’
They all raised their glasses of ale and cheered. Kumar looked down at the small crowd and grinned, showing off his pearly white teeth. ‘We will take the false queen to Willow Woods and have her head chopped off!’
They all cheered again.
‘Then we will put the white queen on the throne!’
They cheered louder and one man pushed through the crowd, over to Kumar. ‘What of the queen’s rabbit?’ he asked, referring to the queen’s right-hand man, Gerard, who had rabbit ears from when he was once cursed and a squashed face. ‘I want him dead! He raped my wife.’
Kumar nodded fiercely and raised his sword in the air. ‘He will be tortured then killed, and we will put his head on a pike in the square for all to see.’
The man cheered and downed the last of his ale.
Kumar turned to two men by the table. ‘Send a message to the hatter and Wendy and tell them to send word to the white queen. With her forces behind us, we can take the castle and the queen.’
The men nodded and raced out of the inn and past the sweetshops and dress shops, and knocked on the hatter’s door. Wendy crawled out of the letter box and looked up at the men.
