Max scoffed. “I think you have me beat there.”
“At least the people here have welcomed you. I’m the enemy.”
“They don’t know you. It’s as simple as that.”
“At least Brinly seems to be giving me a chance. I’m not sure why, but I won’t question it. It’s not really wise to start probing people on why they like you or they might overthink it too much and find the flaws.”
“That’s just how she is. That and there aren’t many women around here for her to be friends with so you got lucky.”
“That’s weird how much the men outnumber the women. Do guys just suck at running away from werewolves?”
“Well,” he let out a deep sigh and folded his arms, “considering we both survived the same attack and yet are in much different positions... you may have an argument.”
“That sounded almost painful to spit out,” I teased.
“You’re forgetting, I’m trying to be pleasant these days.” Now that really sounded painful coming out of his mouth. Poor cranky Max had to mellow out so he didn’t wolf out.
I leaned back on my wrists and felt the mattress sink beneath my touch, and gently sighed. It really was a heavenly bed, almost like sleeping on air. For a hostage, I sure was sleeping in style.
“I wish Owen had known about this place. Things could have turned out so much different for him.”
Max was silent.
I was suddenly tense and sat upright again, clasping my hands together. “I still think about him, almost every single day. When a day passes where I don’t, he usually pops up in one of my dreams.” I lowered my head and tried to focus on my fingers outlining the lines of my palms. I needed to stay focused on something, anything, so I wouldn’t cry. “I just have so much regret about that situation.”
“In what way?” Max asked and then sat down on the bed beside me. He was so close to me, his knee was brushing into my thigh.
“What if I had just told him what happened to me? That I had been attacked and I knew about the werewolves. Maybe he would have confided in me, and instead of forcing himself to go to some stupid date auction to please me, I could have been helping him.”
“And how were you going to do that?” he asked in a very critical tone, like he knew I was getting ready to tread into self-loathing territory and he wanted to stop it before it even began.
“Having someone there that he could talk to could have made a difference.”
“You mean like Molly? Because he had her and absolutely nothing changed. In fact, he killed her, meaning if you were there, you could have died as well.”
“I know, I know.” I lifted my head up and looked right into Max’s pale blue eyes. They were so receptive to me in that moment that I felt like I could tell him anything.
“He just looked so tormented about the whole thing, like the secret was eating away at him. If he had just one more person to help...” I shrugged lifelessly, unsure of where I was even going with this. Once I got in a sour mood, I rambled endlessly, to the point where I often forgot why I was crying to begin with.
“I can speak from experience that the only people who can really help are the ones that have been through it, and even then when you turn you’re still all alone,” Max explained. “You can’t share the pain or just how out of control you are. They can really only relate and give you tips on how to deal with it, but at the end of the day you’re still doing it on your own.”
“You’re supposed to be making me feel better,” I said with a dejected laugh.
He tilted his head to the side and gave a grin from the corner of his mouth. “Sorry, that’s not really my area.”
I sniffled and sarcastically remarked, “Really? I hadn’t noticed.”
“Owen was that way long before you knew him. There’s nothing you could have done.”
“Are you angry at him...?” I hesitated to finish my sentence. “Are you angry at him for turning you into this?”
All the warmth from his glowing eyes subsided, and he leaned forward and ran his fingers along the slight scruff growing on his face. I could tell this wasn’t something he wanted to discuss.
“I don’t think about it,” he admitted. I had a hard time believing that. Max was cursed to endure torture under every full moon and he never thought about the man who had triggered that for him?
“Never?”
“I try not to. We didn’t get along in life, but I think I understand him more in death. He was just a screwed up guy and if I think about what he inflicted on me for the rest of my life, I might...” He stopped himself and sighed. “He’s dead. He’s suffered enough.”
“If he had lived, maybe you guys would be friends today.”
“I wouldn’t go that far,” he responded candidly.
I laughed and wiped a tear away that escaped from my eye. “Well, I was trying to be optimistic. It’s just sad to me that two people I adored couldn’t see in each other what I saw in them.”
Max stared at me long and hard and I couldn’t decipher what was going through his mind. His eyes danced across my face like he was taking in my eyes one at a time, and then my cheeks, my nose, and then my lips. I would have normally felt so insecure having someone scan my face like that, but I got the impression it wasn’t him inspecting me, but merely soaking me in.
“Will you come with me somewhere?” he asked, his voice soft and engaging. When his voice got low like that, with his head tilted to the side, there was virtually nothing that could come out of his mouth I would have said no to.
We left the compound together, walking side by side very slowly, as though he wanted to take in every step we shared together, and from the coy grin on his face, perhaps drag out the walk longer than was necessary. Our arms were aligned, just a mere few inches apart from each other, giving just enough space that I could feel the heat radiating from his skin and caressing mine. So much of me wanted to reach out and take his hand into mine, but I felt reluctant. Was Max the hand holding type? Would I be putting myself too out there if I attempted this? I weighed the pros and the cons and eventually settled on letting him make the first move. If he wanted my hand, he would have to take it.
After we went outside the compound and to the back yard, I realized Max was taking me to the beach. As soon as my shoes sunk into the sand, Max kept walking, going along the edge of the shore and waving me along so I would follow him. The more we walked, the thicker the surrounding beach trees became. It felt like we were going to a more secluded area of the beach and needed to push our way through the mass of leaves and twigs.
It was a beautiful night, too. The storm that had come the previous night cooled the temperature enough that I could have sported a long sleeve sweatshirt if I had liked, but it was still warm enough to wear shorts. As Goldilocks said, it was just right.
Eventually, the trees tapered off and a new part of the beach was exposed. There was a pier with a couple of small paddle boats anchored to the shore by a rope lassoed around the legs of the pier’s structure. Infesting the water were bundles of submerged cattails, swaying gently from the lake’s rippling waves, lit up from clusters of fireflies blinking green in and out like miniature stars in the night. The most beautiful aspect of it all was the large, almost full moon hanging in the clear night sky. There was just a slither of the moon not exposed, making it look like a misshapen potato. The glow reflected onto the black waves of the lake, stretching out far and making the water look endless. It was breathtaking.
“I wanted to get away for a minute,” Max spoke, breaking my concentration for a moment. “Things were getting a bit heavy back there, so I thought you could use some fresh air.”
“Was I being too dramatic for you?”
“Just a little bit,” he responded, but his voice wasn’t judgmental. It was clear he was teasing me and wanted to take me out of my slump. The guy turns into a beast on a monthly basis and it’s me who needs to be talked out of a funk.
I breathed in the clean lake air. “It�
�s beautiful out here. Very serene.”
“It’s why this place was built in this area. We’re required a tranquil surrounding in order to get our transformations under control. What better setting than a lake?”
“I have to admit, there’s a part of me that really finds it funny that you of all people are forced to be tranquil.”
“You say that like I was a stressed out asshole when we met.”
“You kind of were. You wanted to throw me out into the night with a werewolf because I disrupted your sleep.”
“You were a stranger who barged into my place without asking. Besides, you were annoying.”
I rolled my eyes. “Good to see you’re still sentimental as ever.”
“I let you in, didn’t I?”
“Eventually,” I scoffed. “You just got tired of my whining.”
We each had a little laugh that faded until we were both gazing up at the moon in silence. Max had his hands tucked into his jean pockets and I crossed my arms across my chest to keep warm from the cool night air. With only the moon as our light, we were draped in an illumination of blue, and under that light Max looked so handsome; perfect neck length brown hair tucked behind his ears, a little scruff growing on his face, and a coy grin always teasing to come out even when we weren’t speaking, like he was reliving a joke in his head at all times.
I studied the moon and asked, “So, what happens to a werewolf when the moon is like this? How it looks practically full, but yet, technically, isn’t. Doesn’t your body get confused and want to turn? Do you just get a bad case of the cramps or something?”
He chuckled like I was telling a joke. “Almost full doesn’t count,” he told me. “I’m sure there’s a science to it, but I don’t have a fucking clue.”
“Don’t curse in front of the fireflies,” I teased.
“Sorry. I don’t have a fucking bullshitting clue,” he reiterated. “Is that better?”
“I can definitely tell the lake is having a tranquil effect on you now,” I sarcastically responded.
“Baby steps, right?”
“So, with the moon like this, you really don’t feel weird?”
“The next full moon is in less than two weeks, so my body is in a weird state of preparation right now. It happens every time it gets close.”
“What do you mean?”
“Something feels a little off like something is stirring inside of me. My muscles might ache a little. I might get the shakes, mood swings.”
“I joked about the cramps, but it does really sound like you’re suffering from PMS,” I said with a laugh.
He shook his head and smiled.
“Is this the type of thing you always did, come to some secret place to be alone?” I asked.
“I lived alone in the woods for years, I didn’t need it. Living in a place with constant activity wears me down a bit. I have to listen to who is screwing who and if someone forgot to do the kitchen work and...” He groaned, and that tranquility he sought seemed to be fading rapidly. “I’m not a fan of being around people 24/7, if you haven’t noticed.”
“Slipped my mind completely,” I joked and flashed a grin. He returned it. “At least you have somewhere to go. Looks like it’s pretty dead here, so unless you got an issue with that bullfrog over there, I think you’re in good company.”
“It’s definitely improved from a few days ago,” he said, and his eyes flickered in my direction flirtatiously. I felt my cheeks heat up, but it was pitch black out so he didn’t notice.
“That moon sure is big,” I randomly said, doing my best not to linger on the way he was undressing me with his eyes. I sucked at making small talk, especially when it was to take attention away from the fact that my heart was racing.
“The moon is only 238,900 miles from Earth.”
“Just a hop, skip, and jump away,” I joked.
“In comparison to everything else in space, yeah,” he said quite seriously.
“Is that what you do now, study up on the moon?”
“I’m its slave, so, yes.” He was so matter-of-fact about it, like this was his forever burden and he had accepted it long ago. My heart ached for him.
I reached my hand out to his wrist and clasped onto him gently. I could tell he wasn’t expecting it because his head jerked toward me quite suddenly, his baby blue eyes narrow and responsive. “You’re not a slave,” I told him in a gentle voice. “There are people here who are evidence of that.”
“I’ve turned seven times since I moved into the compound, Cora. I’m beginning to think I’m just not capable of stopping it.”
“Max, until last year, I had no idea anything like this was possible to begin with. Real life werewolves and werewolf packs—it sounds like make believe, yet it’s real and you’re living proof of it. The impossible became possible.”
“I know where you’re going with this, and the sentiment is sweet and all, but I’ve been working at this for a while now. It should have happened months ago. It’s time I just accept I’ll likely never have control over it.”
“Well, I’m not giving up hope.”
An unassuming smirk stretched out from the corner of his mouth. “I knew you wouldn’t.” He then chuckled and said, “Is this the part where I offer to lasso the moon and pull it down for you?”
“Could you?”
“If I had that ability, I’d be ripping the moon out of the sky and burying it in the sea. Nighttime and I aren’t exactly allies anymore.”
“You will be again. One day.”
It was an apologetic smile that came over his face, like he was sorry he had such a down moment when we came here to relax, but it didn’t bother me one bit. I liked that he was opening up to me. I wouldn’t have driven all this way if I didn’t want this.
“You know, this area reminds me of when I used to go camping,” I said.
“I can’t imagine you, of all people, camping,” he replied with a scoff.
“Don’t sound so surprised. I used to go camping quite a bit when I was a little kid. We’d rent a lot and camp in Tawas, sit by Lake Huron and let the fish suck our toes. It’s gorgeous this time of year. Or, at least it used to be. I wouldn’t know, since I haven’t been there since I was... Damn, I was nine. You probably went camping all the time.”
“Hunting trips. My old man had me shooting rifles before I could drive a car.”
Hearing him reference his dad felt odd. “You never talk about your family.”
“I’m really not that close to them.”
“Not close to your family? How is that possible?”
“I guess you could say my dad and I were too much alike. We butted heads more times than I can count. It was just easier moving away to be on my own.”
“So, removing people from your life is easy?”
I couldn’t help but compare it to the time we had spent apart, and how we drifted so easily despite going through this traumatic experience together. Was that who Max was, an eternal loner who discarded people from his life when things got too difficult? He had done the same with Molly. Was I just another Molly?
“Did you ever...” I was afraid to say it. “Did you ever think about me?”
Under the pale moonlight, he turned and looked at me, his eyes the exact shade of light that filled the air. The way he gazed at me was so relaxed and sweet, and that’s when he said, “Only every time I closed my eyes.”
My heart skipped a beat and my breathing hitched. He thought of me.
“Then why didn’t you look for me? Why did it take me driving out here for us to see one another again?”
His head slumped forward and he exhaled slowly. “I didn’t want you dragged into any of this. This life isn’t safe and you deserve better than that. Yes, we had something and yes, I was interested, but the second I was bitten that all changed. There was no chance of us resembling anything normal. What kind of guy would I be to make you a part of this life?”
“I understand that, but you didn’t choose this. You
shouldn’t be deprived of things you want just because of what happened to you. It’s not fair.”
“It’s not right for me to do this to you. You shouldn’t even be here.”
I turned my body toward him and got real close. “What if I don’t want to leave?” I asked vacantly, my voice soft, my eyes gazing up at him like a baby deer. I wanted him to understand I didn’t fear him and that I didn’t want anyone else. That I had dreamed of him and him alone, and now that were together again, I didn’t want to think of leaving.
“Don’t do that,” he said, his voice serious as he peered down at me.
“Do what?”
“Make that face. It’s hard to think clearly when you’re making that face.”
“I’m not doing anything,” I said innocently.
“Then stop looking like that,” he said with hunger in his eyes and I could feel the space between us getting smaller. His jaw clenched and his throat tightened and, in that moment, I knew he was feeling exactly what I was feeling; complete and utter yearning.
Unexpectedly, his hand drifted to my hip and settled there, using it as his own personal handle he could latch onto to pull me in closer to his body. Our chests bumped and I felt the rock hard outline of his body beneath his clothing.
Everything was perfect. The air was cool and illuminated by the large, hanging moon in the sky, and the only noise outside of my heartbeat thudding away manically in my ears were the soothing sounds of waves crashing against the shore.
I could feel the lust building inside of me. Would this be yet another tease with no payoff?
Suddenly, he yanked me toward him and crashed his lips into mine, hungrily kissing with a passion I had never experienced before, like there was no tomorrow and all that mattered was this moment. His hands slid up my back, holding me in place so he could push his mouth further inside of mine. I slanted my head to the side so I could receive his passion. His mouth was warm, his lips soft but firm, and our kiss meshed together so perfectly, it was like our lips were designed for one another. I couldn’t breathe, I couldn’t think, I was completely lost in the moment, drunk off endorphins and begging the gods to give me enough air so we wouldn’t have to stop. I didn’t know my lips could feel this way. I’d clearly been kissing all the wrong guys.
Lunar City (Lunar Rampage Series Book 2) Page 16
