by Quil Carter
This is why my mother hated you…
“You and my father… you two were together during the war, weren’t you? My father was chayle?”
Anagin’s lips disappeared as he pursed them, Teal felt uncomfortable as he saw the emotions on Anagin’s face. It radiated agony, heartwrenching despair.
“I loved him dearly, Teal,” Anagin admitted quietly. “We spent four years together, in Alcove and Evercove; winning battles, meeting kings, fighting demenos and croagh mages… like the three of you are doing right now.” The mage let out a breath; he wiped his face with his hands. “You’re… the first elf I’ve admitted that to since Cruz left.”
“Malagant and Josiah know.”
The corner of Anagin’s mouth rose. “Everyone knows, Teal. I just liked to deny it… it made things easier for me when he left me, for… her.”
My father chose my mother over Anagin? His mother had been… well, she was a nice lady-hibrid, but she certainly had liked to yell. She seemed miserable when they had to be on the run. It made sense now that she was of noble blood. She probably hated being in the old cabin in Jare, and the rustic falling down stronghold in the Fenwoods. Nobles slept in castles, with beds of down and servants to fulfil their every need. His mother must’ve hated being dragged all around Alcove in a covered wagon.
Thinking back, she always seemed cross over things that involved Teal, or his father. She liked Eagen though, called him her little eagle. Teal had no nickname… he was just… something to be angry at.
“They had been arranged to be married before the war. Your mother was of a powerful House, House Kelber. Lord Kelber only had one daughter, no sons. Your grandfather, Teluz, made the decision for Cruz that he was chedni and made a vow that when the war was over, he would marry Keiryn. Join Houses. House Fennic would move up in the politics of Elron, which would bring them more power. And if there is something noble brats like… it’s power.”
“He had to keep his vow then? That’s all it was? My father was really chayle?”
Anagin nodded but his face was still sad. “He promised me during the war he would break it off. And to further complicate things, one night Kelakheva came to us. He said to complete the prophecy we would have to produce sons. Two each. Our second borns were going to be prophecy walkers, our firsts would be our heirs. He made it clear they could not be chayleborn from our seed together. My sons couldn’t be related to Cruz’s. Which we didn’t mind. Chayling can be done with just one elf’s seed given to a ladyelf to do what needs to be done. Just do it four times, what was the problem? I didn’t see one. Get married, find a ladyelf and a lady-hibrid to carry the four of you and there we go… our last page in the prophecy would be filled.”
“But it didn’t happen that way…” Teal’s voice trailed.
“I made a mistake,” Anagin admitted. “I stayed in Evercove to learn from the best mage in Elron, Malloth Solcecht, and I let Cruz go back to Alcove once the war was over. I made the mistake of trusting he would be strong enough not to let his father influence him. I am an orphan in all respects; I was blind to how much influence his father and his House honour had on him. When I finally returned… he was married. I had lost him, Teal. I lost the love of my life.”
Anagin was silent for a moment. Teal didn’t speak, but he felt a swell of pity for Anagin, so much so he felt compelled to comfort him. He didn’t know if it was his emotions he was emitting, maybe the opposite of how he looked into elves’ heads, or what. But Teal felt the despair inside the aging seer.
“Teluz got him back into his talons and convinced him for the best of his House, he had to keep the vows and marry Keiryn. When I came back from Evercove, he was changed. He was… noble again. However he promised me we could still be together in secret. How convenient for him.” Anagin let out an angry growl; his hand clenched around his teacup.
“I told that bastard I was no side-whore, and I married Tes out of revenge. Korivander offered me Tauden, Tes’s brother, but I refused. I wanted to cut Cruz like he cut me. I took Tes as a wife even though I was chayle. Petty revenge… I wanted Cruz to hurt, and I hope I did hurt him. Cruz never knew Josiah and Malagant were born through chayling. I knew it would bother him to think I took her to my bed. Though I never did.”
Teal cowered, feeling uncomfortable. The hurt and anger was radiating off of Anagin. It had been over twenty-five years and it seemed to the seer elf that it had just been yesterday.
Anagin seemed to sense this. He looked at Teal and his face softened. “I’m sorry, boy… I haven’t… talked about this to anyone. I forget myself.”
“It’s okay,” Teal said back. He didn’t know if it was okay; he wasn’t sure what he was feeling. He could sense what Anagin was feeling though. That helped him get over the shock that Malagant’s father and his father had been involved.
“I’m sorry… he treated you like that.”
Anagin gave him a confused look, before he let out a laugh. “Oh, you mad little hibrid. Apologizing for what your father did before you were even born. What you should be apologizing for, is being born.”
Teal cowered again, but this only made Anagin give him another amused chuckle.
“You came into my home yesterday, and minutes later you turned into a gnashing wild elf, trying to rip my eldest son limb from limb. Claws outstretched, right for the eyes, yelling in a voice unlike the timid little kitten squeaks you usually speak in.”
Teal didn’t say anything. He felt the same embarrassment he usually felt when Anagin mentioned Throateater so directly.
“Malagant told me what you did to those Serpent knights. I found burning that one’s face in the fire like you were drowning him to be the most entertaining. The song was a nice morbid touch as well.”
Teal sunk down again; he still didn’t speak.
“And Throateater showed me another thing that happened. A trapper elf violated you when you were a boy, starved and looking for shelter. You ripped his jugular out when he was attempting to rape you, didn’t you?”
Teal was cowering down so far into the couch he felt himself start to slip. “Yes.”
“And the mountain elves? The Azoris. The cannibal hibrids? You spent a year with them. Fit right in, didn’t you?”
“I didn’t eat elf though,” Teal’s voice was tiny, almost inaudible. He wondered if Anagin could feel that he was ready to run out of there. This was overwhelming, almost too much for him.
“I think if you think back, Teal, you will see… Throateater is a bigger part of you than you think. It just takes a rather huge event for him to make himself known enough to speak through you.”
Teal looked up at him; Anagin’s eyes gazed back down, his fingers drumming on his teacup. Never more so than now did he wish Malagant was here. He felt like his inner thoughts were being gutted and put on display. And that was without Anagin being able to access most of his mind.
“You shouldn’t look so scared all the time, Teal Fennic. You have nothing to be scared of; you’re a powerful hibrid inside and out. When you were growing inside your mother however, you were a mess.”
“I was?” Teal asked timidly. He tried to sit up a bit straighter, but it was no use, Anagin’s yellow eyes were fixed on him. It made Teal feel small and weak. Anagin seemed to have a way of doing that to him. He was intimidating, even when he was trying not to be.
“You had an off heartbeat and a paralysis in your chest. The healers in Kelfire Keep said you would not live. Once you were born, you would die. My boys were already born, and Tes was dead. When Malagant was two and Josiah four, Cruz, Keiryn, and little Eagen came to me. I was living with the boys in Alathéa at the time, going back and forth from Bayle to Jehtn. Cruz begged me to help; Keiryn was a mass, great with child and bitchier than ever.”
“You could do that?” Teal asked in awe.
Anagin nodded. “I could see you in her with a push of my maegic. Small little thing, black hair like your brother, brown eyes as well.”
Teal, of course, w
as confused at that; Anagin could see it too but he continued, “I refused of course, out of malice, but Cruz knew how to get what he wanted. He filled my head with promises of us being together again once you were born. You were the last son to be born, the last prophecy walker. He said if I helped you, we would take the kids and go to Evercove.”
Teal felt a surge of guilt. “He lied to you, didn’t he?”
Anagin took a sip of his tea; he lit a small fire under it with his palm. “I’ll never know, because I screwed it up before I could find out,” he replied. “I sealed the hole I found in your heart, and I helped your lungs develop to fix the paralysis in your chest. While I healed you, day by day, me and Cruz, well – we… mended our relationship.”
Teal flushed.
“But because ladyelves are nosey and can’t stop snooping around… she, well, she discovered us while we were mending one day. As you can imagine, it went over like a shaken sack of cats. She got angry, told Cruz I could have him, and worked herself up in such a frenzy she started to bleed, and badly. An hour later, you were born; two months early… you were stone dead, so tiny you fit in my palm.” Anagin pursed his lips. “So, I did the only thing I knew how to do.”
Teal’s face was creased in thought, suddenly his eyes widened.
“Kaul Avahlis.”
Anagin looked at him, and nodded. “I did sheomancy on you, the black-haired little boy not weighing more than two pounds. Tiny, fragile little thing, grey and dead, black lips and eyes. I didn’t have time to use a cadaver and Josiah was too young. I just went to Shol and grabbed him, and brought him back in the flesh.
“You were dead, and past only smoke-breathing. Kaul breathed his smoke onto you, and cut his own flesh and brought his blood to your mouth, and I cut myself as well. Together, we resurrected you. Me and Kaul Avahlis… right in front of your hysterical mother and father.”
Teal just stared, his tea, still clasped between his hands, growing cold. He was surprised it hadn’t shattered with how much he was gripping it.
Then Anagin reached beside him, for the first time Teal noticed it was the book he had written about his life. He opened it up and started reading.
“I watched my blood mix with the black, smoking blood of Kaul. It ran into the baby’s mouth, his lips were almost as black as the demenos’s lips. The heat in the room was stifling, the smell of Shol was powerful, almost dizzying. Keiryn was screaming so loud. Don’t touch him! She was shrieking. Let him stay dead! Cruz wasn’t moving; he just had that look of horror on his face that he adopted every time I did sheomancy. Malagant was wailing, Josiah was trying to comfort him. Josiah had never been afraid of Kaul. Malagant was too young to get past him looking like a monster.
“Then to my surprise, Kaul took the baby. With his long clawed hands he took the baby and brought him to his mouth, as if to devour him. But he cupped his hands, with the baby inside, made a space for his lips and breathed the smoke into him.
“Smoke and blood flowed between his closed fingers as it encompassed the child. Moments later, I heard the baby cry. Kaul lowered his hands, still closed over him. Kaul looked at me; I will never forget his gaze. An inferno, a fire that would never stop burning. He told me, the boy was now mine. Like Kelakheva had commanded he would not be of my blood, but every part of him was mine now to protect. In every respect, he was more than my son, he belonged to me, and in a sense… he belonged to Shol as well.”
Teal let out a gasp of disbelief, but Anagin didn’t stop, he kept reading.
“When he handed the baby to me, he was changed. The baby had golden hair like mine, streaked with red, the same red of Cruz’s hair. His eyes were brilliant green, and as bright as the Lazarius Plains. He was bigger too, a healthy weight, with a full set of pointed teeth and sharp little claws. I had never seen such a child. I knew then he was of me, and he was of Shol.”
“I’m… I’m a demenos?” Teal said faintly.
Anagin shook his head, closing the book over his finger. “You’re not that lucky, my boy. You are a hibrid; the demenos blood in you is what Throateater is. He is the demenos part of you that remains. A small part of you, a whisper of the Smokes of Shol, but he is there. The moment I realized you were the baby I brought back to life, I knew what Throateater was.”
“What is yours will return to you…” Teal whispered. He badly wanted one of Ben’s pills right now.
The tea boiled with Anagin’s flame underneath. “I thought you were dead, but I bet on my life it was the demenos blood that helped you escape and live in the woods all these years. Perhaps it was all meant to be. You would have died without the blood and smoke in you to give you strength.”
“You saved my life, Syr Ahris?”
“Me and Kaul Avahlis.”
“But… you said Cruz, I mean Father, said he would run away with us after?”
The sky seemed to darken even more around them, the rains heavier outside, falling at an angle now so they were hitting the window. Teal didn’t know how much time had passed since they had sat down, but it seemed like an eternity.
“When Kaul changed you… your mother didn’t understand why, and in all honesty she wouldn’t have liked why either. She went into a psychotic rage, saying you were not hers. That you were Cruz and mine’s. Which is not true. She didn’t want anything to do with you. She said you were cursed, a demenos baby. I didn’t like her saying that about you, so I made my intentions clear that they could shek off and I would raise you with my boys. I told them to pack up and leave the next day, without you.”
Teal’s eyes widened. He knew this wasn’t going to end well.
“Cruz got scared regarding my intentions of taking his son, and in the middle of the night they left with baby you and your brother.” Then Anagin paused as if he wanted to say more, but he closed his mouth and instead said: “I never saw Cruz, or you, again.”
Teal just stared at him, his eyes wide and his mouth open.
“Wow,” was all he could manage. “That’s why you asked if they treated me well?”
Anagin nodded. “Your mother didn’t like you at all. I hoped that that would change over time. You seem like a sweet, caring boy. Anyone with half a brain could see you’re no demenos spawn.”
Teal leaned back against the couch. He looked down at his cold tea, and lit a small fire under it with his firepalm. “I don’t know what to comment on first,” he admitted quietly. His lower lip trembled but he bit down on it. He felt a huge sense of shame as it dawned on him what he was really feeling.
“I really hate my father for how he treated you. You saved my life, and saved the prophecy. He… he shouldn’t have treated you so badly.”
Anagin sucked in a breath and shook his head. “No, boy, don’t judge him on things between me and him. Judge him on the father he was to you. Cruz and me… we… well, I deserved it. I was young, wild, a lowborn orphan. Cruz was a noble, with pride and duty. We were different elves and… in the end we were toxic to each other.”
Teal watched the small bubbles start to rim his teacup. “Do you believe that? Or do you just wish that were true?” He felt the words slip from his mouth before he could censor himself.
Anagin stared, his eyes narrowed. “You’re smarter than I give you credit for.”
Anagin rose; he bent down and picked up Talon which had been resting by his twin between the couch and an iron and wood side table.
“Whenever your father would tell me something troubling, he would sword fight with me. Do you know why?”
Teal shook his head, drinking his bubbling tea.
“Because the more stuffed your head is with new information, the more difficult it is to sort through it, make sense of it. But after a good fight, and a few drinks, your mind tends to sort things out easier.” Anagin smiled. He took Teal’s cup from him and set it down. “Come outside, we won’t melt in the rain. Show me you’re a Fennic and sword fight with me.”
“I don’t feel much like a Fennic anymore. If I belong to you, doesn’t
that make me an Ahris?”
Anagin put a cloak on and let out a dry laugh. “Ahris is a throwaway last name Tes made me make official with Calin when the boys were born. I’m an orphan of Elron with no House to call my own. The closest House name I have, and my boys have, would be Avahlis.” Anagin smirked, his face nostalgic. “Tes was adamant that no sons of hers would have a demenos last name. However in Shol that is my name, and as such, my family’s.”
Teal picked up the sword; he held the worn grip in his hands. He looked at the scorched steel, moving the blade from side to side, making flashes of light shine on the roof beams above.
“The sword suits you,” Anagin said.
“Eagen was always better than I was. I would rather climb trees and hunt squirrels. I guess that makes sense now, huh?”
Anagin picked up his cane, and with the sword’s twin in his other hand, he started walking towards the back door to the large stretch of yard behind the house.
“I could never be sure how much demenos blood was in you, but I would wager that may be the case. Do not go thinking you are a demenos spawn, Teal. It’s just an essence that lingers in you, you must not believe it controls or influences you.”
“That’s why you asked me if I blacked out?” Teal remembered back. “You were making sure the Shol influence in me was still small?”
Anagin nodded. “I have been to Shol. I have seen demenos in Elron and what they do. They are dark creatures, dangerous, and unpredictable to those who are not their kin. Take it from a sheomancer; you do not want to give them strength you can’t take back.”
“But I’m their kin.”
Anagin gave him a withering look. “Teal.”
Teal cowered; he looked at the red rug on the floor. Anagin didn’t have to say any more to him, his tone spoke volumes.
It was refreshing to be outside; the rains and the grass around him made the air smell sweet. The sun breaking through the clouds gave off the impression that it was warm out, but the plains were cool.
Teal latched his cloak over his neck but kept it behind him to free his arms. Anagin leaned his cane against the fire tree that had been outside of Malagant’s window and twirled the steel in his hand. Like Teal he was dressed in town clothes: a black doublet with risen shoulders and elbow slits with red silk fabric underneath, tied with a red sash and black trousers. Teal was in Malagant’s old green doublet himself, it fit him nicely and was better suited than the noble clothes the tailor brothers back in Lelan had made them. He and Malagant had agreed the previous night to not wear them in Birch. Josiah and Anagin would never let them live down flowing surcoats and silk blouses.
