“Do you bring a lot of girls here?” I mean for it to come out sarcastic but I know it sounds anything but.
“You’re the first.” Those divots make an appearance again.
A tingle shoots up my back and my eyes instantly fall to the side. I wipe my palms on the sides on my shorts and look at the rock surrounding us. Asher steps next to me.
The sides of our bodies touch and it’s not affecting me at all.
Nope. Not one bit.
“I was thinking about this place last night. I wanted to take you here.”
My head shoots up to look at him, almost causing me whiplash. “Take me here?”
“Yes.” Those golden eyes bear down on mine. Damn, I wish I had pretty eyes too. When I look into these I am positively mesmerized.
“What about my sister?” My words almost a whisper.
“I was hoping she’d stay home, but I was willing to take her with us.”
“Why?”
His brows cave in. “Why would I care if your sister came?”
No. I know why someone would want to take Leah. She’s funny and pretty and spontaneous. The question is—“Why me?”
Asher lowers his chin and holds my gaze in place, as if to make sure I absorb every word he says. “I wanted to get to know you. People intrigue me and when I am intrigued I want to know more. Watching you play yesterday. It made me want to know the woman behind the keys.”
My lips part on the inhale and I grab hold of the railing to steady myself. I am so not worth getting to know. It wasn’t that long ago I was thrown out of bed by my sister, urging me to take a shower and end my months-long sleep. That’s all I’d been doing. Sleeping and crying and going to therapy. I want to get better. I want my hand to work. I want to play again. But my last scan showed too much scar tissue and a nerve whose damage is irreparable.
The woman behind the keys is a shell of who she used to be. For a brief moment I felt that power I craved. I played the music I love. But it’s lost on me now. And this woman he sees is not . . . me.
“We should go. I don’t want to leave my sister alone all day.” I walk around Asher and take my seat.
He stands for a moment, the muscles of his back rising and falling ever so slightly. The awesome thing about Asher is he doesn’t press the issue or ask questions. He just nods and does as he’s told. Maybe Devon did know what he was doing when he hired him.
And maybe he just doesn’t want to be stuck with me a moment longer.
The rumble of the anchor being drawn up echoes in the cavern and Asher backs the boat up slowly until we are back in the bright sunshine. Turning the boat in the direction we were heading earlier, he raises the speed on the boat and drives again.
I’m surprised we’re still heading in the opposite direction of where we came. “I said I wanted to go back.”
Ignoring my request, Asher lowers his sunglasses over his eyes and pushes the throttle faster. My body jolts backwards for a second with the increase in speed, I have to reach my hands out in front of me to brace myself on the dashboard.
I take back what I said earlier. This guy doesn’t know how to follow orders.
“Slow down.”
His body stands tall, unaffected by the increased speed. I, on the other hand, am an unstable mess.
“I said, slow down!”
He drops the throttle down another level and the horsepower kicks up a notch, sending my ass into the seat behind me. Do these things come with seatbelts?
I’m trying to breathe but the wind in front of me fills my chest and I think I’m going to have a panic attack. Asher, on the other hand, is stoic and calm, acting as if he’s taking a Sunday drive.
I raise my voice to him. “I want you to slow down, now!”
The engine is now growling a loud thunder. Chancing a look behind me, I see the island getting smaller as we head into the open waters. This is not the direction I want to go and not the speed I want us to drive at.
“Sometimes you don’t always get what you want.” His deep voice echoes over the boom of the ocean.
I turn my head back to face him and see him for who he is. Asher may be Devon’s hand but he’s not a servant. He’s not a slave or a submissive. This is a man who does whatever the hell he wants and gives no apology. He doesn’t need someone to worry about him because he can take care of himself. Asher is in control.
I have no control. Everything in my life right now is way too slow. And it doesn’t matter how safe you are, you can still get hurt. I don’t know why but I find myself saying, “Faster.”
He looks over at me. “Are you sure?”
I nod. “Go as fast as you want.”
It was the right answer because I am rewarded that Asher smile. It’s so worth it.
Almost. He pulls the throttle as far down as it can go and my body hits the back of the seat. I have to grab onto the metal bar to my left and brace myself on the wall portion in front of me. A large lump forms in my throat and I think I’m going to be sick. My legs are shaking and I have to look down to block the fear of what could happen from my brain.
I start to count, in measures and downbeats, but my head can’t wrap around the chords in my head.
“Emma!” he calls out with an outstretched hand. “Come here.”
I shake my head no and he slows the speed. My heart settles back in my breastbone from its previous position in my stomach. I start to breathe normally again. My chest is heaving up and down, my fingers gripping the sides of the chair.
The boat is still moving but at a much slower speed. With one hand on the wheel, Asher reaches over to me and grabs the hand I have resting on the arm of the chair, closest to him, and pulls me toward him.
Like a rag doll I float over to him, dragged by his impressive strength until I am gently lodged in the space in between him and the helm. Asher encloses his body around mine, my body nestled in between his strong thighs, my back pressed against his solid torso.
My breath hitches when his arms swing around each side of my body, leaning down to place his hands over mine. He raises them and places my left hand on the wheel in front of us, and the other on the throttle to the right. His chin rests just above my head making me feel like I’m wrapped in a security blanket of rock hard silk.
Asher’s mouth grazes down the side of my head until its nestled just above my ear. “Ready?”
I swallow and try to tame my breathing, which is still erratic but for completely different reasons than it was earlier. All I can do is nod my head.
His hand gently squeezes mine and it lowers the throttle a notch. My body leans back into his with the pushback and I’m rewarded with the feel of his rumbling chest against my back. Sensing I’m okay, Asher guides my hand down the throttle, pushing into another gear, until we are back to the increased speed we were at earlier.
My spine stiffens at the pace, and he must feel it because he releases his left hand from over mine at the helm and snakes it around my waist, holding me tight to him.
Okay, so now, I cannot focus on anything except his hand that is settled on my lower belly.
And it feels good. Very good.
Molto buona.
Our hands move the throttle down one more notch and our bodies have become so melded we are practically one.
Asher releases the throttle and puts his right hand on the wheel and drives us over the current, taking slight turns when he feels I’m ready. I know he knows I’m ready because his left hand is holding me so tightly he can practically feel my pulse.
The feel of him is starting to become second nature; I relax a bit and take in the action in front of me. Maybe it’s the feel of Asher around me, or perhaps it’s the fact this boat is made to drive this fast. It’s a virtual tank. Whatever the reason, I am starting to actually enjoy the ride.
The speed is exhilarating.
Asher takes a hard turn and my heart nearly leaps out my throat in fear. But when we’ve straightened back out, I laugh out loud and ask him to do it a
gain. He does it again, and again. Water sprays around us and we get a little wet. This causes me to laugh louder as I wipe the droplets away from my face.
The island of Capri is a distant pebble in the distance and I’m okay with it. We glide across the water and the speed we are driving isn’t causing me anxiety. I would tell Asher he can release me but, the truth is, I really like having his arm around me. I’d never tell him that and I will never get an opportunity like this again. For now, I’m just going to ride the waves.
I don’t know how much time passes when he turns the wheel and starts pointing us back toward the island. As our approach grows closer, he lowers the speed and I try to hide my disappointment when my blanket of Asher is removed as he takes the seat behind him. I am about to move over to my seat but he grabs my waist again and pulls me back into him so I’m cushioned in between his legs. When I am snuggly in place, he lowers his hand so it’s resting on my hip.
“You drive. I’ll be right here to make sure you don’t run us into ground.”
Normally, I would be apprehensive to do something like drive a boat. I don’t like to do anything out of my comfort zone. But with him behind me, I feel confidant we’ll be okay.
We circle the island, continuing west and then north, completing the grand tour we were set out on. I tilt my head back every now and then to ask Asher which direction I should drive or if I am too close to a rock. He guides my hands gently and helps me keep the boat on a safe path and steady in the water.
We pass the Blue Grotto and the line of boats of tourists waiting to go in. I thankfully decline Asher’s offer to see what’s inside. Not only would I feel bad going without Leah but I cannot risk another episode like I had yesterday.
By the time we are heading back east, completing our circle of the island, I am so at ease at the helm I don’t look back to ask Asher for help.
We pass Devon’s boat and I, once again, marvel at how impressive it is. From this direction I can see the front of the boat where the two-story glass room I know so well sits. It must be amazing to have your own sanctuary of music to go to whenever you want. I’d love to be able to stand in front of that glass window, looking out at the sunset over the sea and play the melodies of love and drama and laughter and tears. I’ve played in symphonies and concert halls, but to play to the sunset, now that would be amazing.
With my head arched all the way to the left as I look at the yacht, I catch Asher watching me and I turn my head back to the waterway in front of me. He releases his hold on my hip and I instantly miss the warmth.
It’s why I shouldn’t be surprised my spirits fall as we approach the Grande Marina. Our tour is ending and we have to dock. I move away from Asher and take a seat in the chair to his left and watch him skillfully pull the boat to a stone landing.
When we are close enough, he leans his body overboard to secure a rope to the spindles in the ground and I check out the way his shirt rides up with the arch of his back. His body swings back around toward me so I stand at attention and hide the fact I was just checking him out.
Asher brushes his hands against each other. “It was nice meeting you, Miss Paige.” His voice is formal and dismissive. He still has on his sunglasses but I can tell he is purposefully not making eye contact with me. I don’t know if he’s in worker mode or if I have done something to offend him.
“I had a great time,” I say.
“It was no problem. Have a good day.”
The curtness in his voice tells me my presence is no longer wanted. I move to the back of the boat. My hand on the railing, I start to make my decent to the dock but I stop and turn around.
“Did I do something wrong?”
His arm swings around to rub the back of his neck, his other resting on his hip. With his head down, he pauses a moment and then rises to ask me a question. “Were you disappointed when I showed up this morning and not Devon?”
The question catches me off guard. The truth is, I was disappointed this morning. When I saw him I was reminded of the scene I caused yesterday. If I could, I would have turned around and gone straight to the hotel because he unnerved me.
He still does but for a different reason than he did yesterday.
I slant my head to the side, confused. “Why would it have mattered?”
Asher’s scrutiny over my response causes me to gawk back at him and wait for a reply. Those stern eyes are set in as if they’re looking for an answer in mine.
A beat . . . two beats . . . three. He doesn’t answer.
So I do the only thing I know how to do lately. I retreat.
Walking back to the hotel, I can’t stop wondering what went wrong. One minute I was driving, enjoying the view and the next—
Ooof.
“Excuse me.” I say as I carelessly walk into a woman. My overanalyzing is getting the best of me.
I step back, giving her room to pass through the lobby doors of the hotel. Looking down I notice a gorgeous pair of Prada shoes with a heel elevated off the ground four inches higher than my rubber boat flats.
The Prada heels aren’t moving so I look up. In front of me is a tall woman with hair dark as a crow’s wearing an oversized hat and large round sunglasses hiding, what I presume from her exposed features, is a glamorous face. The dark lenses of the glass are facing me, looking directly at me, so I stare back at them, only seeing my confused expression in the reflection.
Since she has no desire to move, I bow my body down and shrug past her through the entrance. She is still standing there as I make my way through the lobby and out the opposite doors toward my suite.
Closing the door to the hotel room, I am immediately bombarded by sixty-four inches of blonde excitement.
“Details!” Leah exclaims, leaping across the room, the stray hairs from her messy bun falling around her face. She’s wearing a red bikini and the air smells of sunscreen and cherry lip balm. She must have just gotten back because her skin is still damp from the pool. “I want to know everything. Where did you go? Did he flirt with you? Did he take his shirt off? It was hot. Please tell me he took his shirt off. You’ve been gone for a really long time. I’m hoping you have a major story to tell. You didn’t get all weird on him, did you?”
That last question really gets to me.
Before I even think about answering a single question, I have a major bone to pick with her. “You ditched me!”
Leah holds up a finger in defense. “I did you a favor.”
“How so?”
“You don’t think it’s a total coincidence the hot guy you ran into yesterday is the one who showed up to take us on a boat tour?”
I move around her and over to the wardrobe. “I think he was doing what his boss told him to do.”
Leah spins around to face me. “He has eyes for you, and can we please talk about how freaking hot he is? I mean, he’s a total McConaughey. Like, How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days McConaughey. Not Dallas Buyers Club. That was not his finest hour.”
I take a T-shirt out and slam the closet door. “He was playing an AIDS patient, Leah. I don’t think he was going for buff and brawny.”
She follows me into the bathroom where I go to change out of my damp tank top. “Speaking of Brawny, did our boy today have the ‘Strength to get things done’?” She uses air quotes when referencing the paper towel slogan.
Where do I begin when it comes to my day with Asher? It started off all right. I mean, I didn’t want to be there and I didn’t want to sit next to him and I didn’t want to talk. Okay, so I was a complete bitch.
But then it was all right. He made me feel comfortable and he was easy to talk to. There was that moment when he said he wanted to get to know me, and my entire world stopped for just a second, until I flaked on him. For the life of me, I cannot imagine why he wanted to keep the tour going. Not that he was any good as a tour guide. Actually, he sucked.
Something changed in me today. My fear of speed for one. Six months ago I thought I’d never get into a moving vehicle aga
in. I overcame that fear out of necessity, only allowing the driver to go a safe speed, dictated by me. Today¸ I was racing across the ocean with no protection other than Asher’s steel grasp. I shouldn’t be surprised. My fear is new and I was probably going to let it go sooner or later. I’m sure it’s no big deal.
What is a big deal was how Asher treated me when we returned. He was dismissive and cold. It was as if he hadn’t had his arm wrapped around me. Nice to know I made as big an impression on him as he did on me.
Not.
“It was boring. We drove in circles for a few hours and he didn’t speak to me at all.”
Leah follows me into the bedroom. Her hands fall to her hips as she chews on her lip. She looks like she’s been deflated. “Oh, well, that sucks. I’m sorry you had to spend the day like that.”
I let my hair out of my ponytail and shake out the tightness of it. I’m wrapping it back up in a messy bun when I see that look in Leah’s eyes.
“It’s fine. I’m not gonna get all sad because I had a crap tour,” I say taking a seat on the bed. She looks up at me, trying to decide if I’m lying. “Besides, it was pretty nice to be able to look at a hot guy for a few hours.” I throw in a smile for good measure.
Leah relaxes and nods her head. “He was totally hot. Did he take off the sunglasses? What color are his eyes?”
“They’re like a warm honey.” I clamp my mouth shut as soon as the words come.
Leah’s face lights up in a magnanimous smile. She is just about to squeal something but is interrupted by the chime of her iPad.
We both look down at the device, which is perched on the end table next to us. Our mom’s face lights up the screen and the word PAM flashes at the top. Leah enjoys referring to Mom by her first name.
I make a face at the thought of having to talk to her, but Leah lifts the iPad and swipes on the screen anyway. “Hi, Pam!”
“Hello, sweetie. How are my girls doing?” Mom’s voice echoes from the speaker. She and Leah are on FaceTime but Leah has the screen faced in her direction.
I’m surprised mom isn’t calling in a panic because her daughters are stranded in Italy. Using a series of eyestrain and head tilts, I ask Leah if Mom knows what happened yesterday. She gives me a slight shake “No” and goes back to talking to the screen.
Reckless Abandon Page 7
