by Scott Meyer
Ampyx yelled, “My ears hurt!”
Martin said, “I wouldn’t have hit the ground. I almost had my staff.”
“No you didn’t,” Gwen said.
Ampyx asked, “It’s like they’re stuffed with something.”
“Gwen, I nearly had it. It was in my hand.”
“Well, I’m sorry. I didn’t know that, did I? I was all the way up there tending to him.”
Ampyx yelled, “What’s in my ears? I can’t hear so well!”
Martin said, “Okay, thanks for trying.”
“Look,” Gwen shouted, “if your heart was set on falling all the way to the ground, I can still make that happen.”
“No, no. You’re right. Thanks for catching me. Out of gratitude I won’t point out that I was right all along.”
“Yeah, thanks for not pointing that out.”
“But, I was,” Martin said. “Right, I mean. All along.”
“Yes, yes, Martin. You have a gift for understanding stupidity. Can we focus, please?”
Ampyx stuck a finger in his ear and shook it. “It’s like I’ve been swimming!”
Martin said, “My staff is down there.” He pointed to the staff.
Gwen looked down at a totally different part of the city, and said, “Uh oh.”
Martin said, “No. It’s not over there, it’s right here, below me.”
Gwen said, “Martin, look.” She pointed toward the government buildings at the center of town. Two of the tiny black dots were clearly flying toward the general location of Martin’s staff.
“Ida and Nilo?” Martin asked.
“Yes,” Gwen said. “I saw them leave from her balcony. They probably watched us fall.”
“Then they’re looking for my staff. They know I’m powerless without it. Then they’ll only have you to deal with. Gwen, I gotta get to my staff, now!”
Gwen smiled and withdrew the spell that was holding Martin in the air.
Martin shouted, “Thaaaaank youuuu!” as he streaked away toward the ground.
It won’t hurt me. It won’t hurt me. It won’t hurt me, Martin thought, as the rooftop and his staff got larger and larger in his vision. His memories of being tossed around the courtyard of the castle Camelot by Jimmy flooded back, and he corrected himself. It will hurt me, but it won’t kill me. It won’t kill me. It won’t . . .
Martin and Phillip had wondered about the exact makeup of the buildings in Atlantis. They knew that the outer bowl was made up of molecularly pure diamond that Brit the Elder had laid down one atom at a time, but the white buildings inside the bowl had seemed more like glass. Later, Martin would find out that all of the structural, non-decorative elements of the city were indeed made of diamond, but that walls, floors, and ceilings had a thin coating of white silicon, because it was quite strong, and could be made opaque (or at least mostly opaque) without weakening its structure. Also, it was easy to clean. The incredible strength and rigidity of structures made of diamond meant that when Martin hit the roof of this smallish building, the roof did not buckle or give in any noticeable way. Martin’s body, however, did both of those things. For the second time in a five-minute span, he lay groaning, trying to get his wind back. He was in the center of a radiating pattern of spider web cracks in the thin glass veneer. As he lay there, he saw Ida swoop down and deposit Nilo on the roof before rising back into the sky, turning sharply and zooming in the direction from which she had come.
Nilo sprinted across the roof, snatched up the staff, kicked Martin in the head, and jumped down to the street. Martin scurried to the edge of the roof, not bothering to get to his feet, and leapt down after Nilo. By the time Martin had his bearings, Nilo was already running away, down the narrow, crowded footpath between the rows of shiny white buildings. Martin gave chase.
It did not take long for Martin to realize that he was not gaining on Nilo. Even with the traffic slowing him down, Nilo moved fast enough that Martin was struggling to keep up. Actually catching him did not seem realistic. Martin shouted, “Gwen! Little help here?!” He didn’t know that she was within hearing range, but he suspected she was, and was relieved when he heard her reply from overhead.
“I’ve gotta go after Ida,” Gwen said. “Here’s some help though.”
In his peripheral vision, he saw Gwen gently lower Ampyx to the ground at running speed. As soon as the guard’s feet were on the ground, she was gone, off to deal with the president of Atlantis.
Far from being disappointed, Martin was delighted to have Ampyx on his side. He might not be the smartest guy, Martin thought, but I trust him, and he’s just as big and strong as Nilo.
His spirits buoyed by not being in this alone, Martin found some extra speed. He might have gained slightly on Nilo; it was hard to tell at this distance. What he could tell instantly was that he was outrunning Ampyx. Martin slowed slightly, looked over, and could plainly see that the big guard was already winded.
“What’s wrong?” Martin asked.
“I . . . don’t . . . run . . . very . . . often,” Ampyx answered.
“What?” Martin couldn’t believe it. “Look at you! You’re a walking wall of muscle and tan! How can you be in such terrible shape?!”
Ampyx said, “I . . . don’t . . . know . . . I’m just . . . lucky . . . I guess . . . I don’t . . . even . . . exercise.”
“Clearly,” Martin said.
Martin looked toward Nilo, still in the distance, gracefully weaving through the pedestrians with his staff. I’m not going to catch him on foot, Martin thought, and neither is Ampyx. Come on, Martin. You’ve seen plenty of movies. What does the chaser usually do in these situations?
He cursed quietly, then shouted, “Stop! Thief! Somebody stop that man!”
Martin thought, These battles are never quite as epic as you hope they’re gonna be.
Ida flew at a fairly relaxed pace, clearly not concerned that anyone might be following her. As such, Gwen did not have to follow her for long, and was soon flying next to her.
“Gwen,” Ida said. “I’m surprised to see you. I figured you’d want to help Martin get his ugly stick back.”
Gwen said, “Nah. I figured I’d let him and Ampyx take care of it.”
Ida smiled. “Nilo’s gonna beat Martin like a drum. You know that, right?”
“Oh, I dunno, Martin can take . . .” Gwen’s mind quickly flashed back to Martin’s famous battle with Jimmy. She reformulated the end of her sentence. “ . . . a beating pretty well.”
The two stared at each other for a moment and slowly came to a halt, high above the park that marked the center of Atlantis. Gwen broke the silence.
“What are you going to do, Ida?”
“What are you going to do, Gwen?”
“That depends.”
“On what?”
Gwen said, “On what you do, because if you do anything other than go to a public place, admit what you’ve done, and beg for forgiveness, I’ll have to try to stop you.”
Ida seemed galled by the unfairness of the situation. “I haven’t done anything, Gwen.”
“You gave your servant powers!”
“Limited powers.”
Now Gwen was galled. “Limited to only things that could do people harm, and why? Because he wanted to kill Brit.”
“No,” Ida said. “I didn’t give him powers because he wanted to kill Brit. I gave him powers because I loved him, and wanted him to be happy, and he wanted to kill Brit because he loves me and wants to see me happy.”
“Has killing Brit and Phillip has made either of you happy?”
Ida rolled her eyes. “Gwen, I never would have given him the powers if I thought he had any chance of succeeding! Logic says that he couldn’t, and hasn’t. He hasn’t killed anybody.”
Gwen shouted, “We don’t know that!”
Quietly, Ida replied, “We don’t kn
ow that he has. Do we?”
Another icy silence passed, then Gwen said, “You’re not going to apologize and you’re not going to give up, are you?”
Ida answered, “I don’t see why I should.”
They continued to hover in mid-air, staring each other down. Ida pondered her next logical move. Gwen also pondered Ida’s next logical move. Gwen considered her best response. Ida also considered Gwen’s best response. They were both as still as statues, trying desperately not to let slip any hint of what they intended to do next. An eternity seemed to pass, then, almost in unison, they each made identical swiping motions in the air and disappeared.
Martin was still keeping pace with Nilo, albeit from many yards behind.
“Stop him! Thief,” Martin yelled. “Somebody, call the police!”
Ampyx had given up on keeping up with Martin, and was somewhere behind, presumably gasping for air. In the distance, beyond Nilo, Martin could see that the narrow footpath between buildings widened out into some sort of large public space, like a plaza or a market. Oh no, Martin thought. I’m going to lose him.
Nilo emerged from the tight confines of the footpath into the open space beyond, and as predicted, the crowd filled in behind him, completely blocking him from view. Martin continued to run, but his heart was no longer in it. He was certain that he would reach the opening, spend several seconds frantically searching the square, and not find Nilo or his staff.
Martin emerged from the narrow path into a public square with shops and market stalls around the edges and a fountain in the center. Three sides of the square were lined with buildings; the fourth was open to the great bowl that formed the city of Atlantis. It wasn’t so much a public plaza as it was a public balcony. He could tell all of this at a glance because the people who had been filling the stall were crowding out toward the edges like a flock of birds instinctively avoiding a hawk. In the center of the square, directly in front of the fountain where he had plenty of room to maneuver, Nilo stood facing Martin, wielding Martin’s own staff menacingly.
Martin stopped running. He took a second to catch his breath, then walked casually out into the now empty space in the center of the square until he stood close enough to count the teeth in the smug smile on Nilo’s face.
Martin said, “I’ve got you now.”
Nilo said, “You have nothing. Look at you. You think you’re so smart. You and your girlfriend, and all the sorceresses and those other ridiculous men in their stupid-looking clothes.”
Martin said, “You’re wearing a shirt made out of a net.”
Nilo ignored him. “You all think you’re so smart. You don’t even know what smart is! I’ve shown you who’s smart.”
Martin continued, “I mean, a shirt has three jobs. Cover you up, protect you from the sun, and keep you warm. Your shirt fails on all three counts.”
“No, a shirt’s main function is to make the wearer look good. I’m sure covering your torso makes you more attractive, but showing mine off works for me.”
“You’ve got me there,” Martin admitted.
“Listen to you,” Nilo said, still smirking. “You still think you’re smarter than me! Well, I’ve been one step ahead of you from the beginning.”
“Well, of course you were one step ahead. You started first.”
“Yes,” Nilo said. “That was my first great move.”
“What?” Martin asked. “Trying to kill Brit before we decided to try to stop you?”
“Yes. You never saw it coming.”
Martin said, “Well, I suppose you’ve got me there, too.”
Nilo laughed. “For someone who thinks he’s so smart, you seem to lose a lot of arguments. You ever wonder why? It’s because you think all there is to being smart is being clever and knowing things. There’s more to it than that.”
“No,” Martin said. “I’m pretty sure being clever and knowing things is pretty much all there is to being smart.”
“You’re missing the most important part. Winning!”
“What?” Martin shook his head. “That’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard!”
“Or you’re the dumbest man who’s ever heard it.”
“Winning makes you smart?” Martin asked.
“Yes,” Nilo replied. “Of course it does. It’s smarter to win than to lose, so whoever wins must be the smartest. Isn’t that just logic?”
Martin said, “An interesting idea. We’ll discuss it again after you’ve lost.”
Nilo said, “I’m not going to lose. I’ve got the staff.”
Now it was Martin’s turn to laugh. “Nilo, you know you can’t use my staff, right?”
Nilo arched one eyebrow. “Can’t I?”
Nilo swung the staff with all of his strength, hitting Martin in the ribs. Martin cried out in pain and surprise. Physical blows could not injure him, but they did hurt, and all animals, wizards included, instinctively dislike and avoid pain. Martin used his arms to protect his head, neck, and face, so Nilo continued to pound on his ribs and midsection like a crazed toddler who doesn’t understand the rules of T-ball. After several savage blows to the breadbasket, Martin lowered his hands and attempted to catch the head of the staff mid-swing. Nilo expected this, and altered his swing to catch Martin in the ear. The crowd of Atlanteans who were still gathered around the square groaned in unison as the dull, hollow thunk of the blow reverberated off of the buildings, like someone had dropped a coconut from a great height.
Martin slewed sideways sickeningly, pushed off balance by the force of the blow. Nilo wound up for another swing, but Martin took off running. Nilo pursued him, still striking him with the staff whenever an opportunity presented itself. Unfortunately, by that time, all exits from the square were blocked by gawkers, and Martin had nowhere to go, so he ran in a large circle, completing a full lap of the square with Nilo close on his heels, striking him in the hips, thighs, and buttocks with his own staff.
On his third lap of the square, Martin saw Ampyx finally make his way to the front of the crowd. He had caught his breath, and was eating an apricot he’d clearly bought from one of the fruit stands.
As he ran past, Martin cried, “Ampyx! Help me out!”
Martin and Nilo completed another lap. As they came close again, Ampyx said, “I’m not really much of a fighter!”
Again, Martin ran out of conversation range, taking several more painful blows as he orbited away from and then back toward Ampyx.
“But you’re a guard!” Martin shouted as he ran past again.
Ampyx waited for Martin to come close again and yelled, “We never get into any real fights.”
As they ran around to the far side of the square again, Nilo bellowed, “Maybe you don’t,” and cracked Martin in the right hip.
Ampyx knew he had to act. He waited for Martin and Nilo to come around again, and when they did, Ampyx lost his nerve. He watched them for another orbit, psyched himself up, then, when they came close he gave chase.
“Hey!” Ampyx yelled. “Hey, stop that!”
They ran two more laps that way, Martin fleeing, Nilo striking him, Ampyx yelling at him to stop. Ampyx realized that yelling wasn’t doing the trick, so he threw his half-eaten apricot, hitting Nilo on the back of the head. Nilo stopped, felt the sticky mess dribbling down his neck, and started chasing Ampyx. Martin barely had time for a few deep breaths before he had to chase Nilo. The three men were back to running laps of the square, but in the opposite direction.
Ampyx was setting a faster pace than Martin had. Great, Martin thought, now you can run! He knew that Ampyx’s newfound speed was probably inspired by the fact that Ampyx could get injured, and that Nilo would probably be happy to do it. Martin had been running to avoid pain. Ampyx was running to avoid death. Ampyx had risked his life to help Martin, and Martin felt a duty to make sure that he came out of this in one piece. That said, he was not
going to be able to outrun Nilo any time soon.
For some crazy reason, Martin’s brain flashed on the film Star Trek: The Wrath of Khan. Specifically, Martin clearly heard Spock saying, “His pattern indicates two-dimensional thinking.”
Martin cut across the square, sprinted hard, and dove head first, intercepting Nilo, and catching his neck in the crook of his elbow.
Nilo staggered, but remained on his feet. Martin clung to his back, hanging on with his right arm and repeatedly but ineffectually punching him in the side of the head with his left. Nilo retaliated by swinging the staff backward, as if he were an overweight Russian man in a sauna, whacking himself on the back with eucalyptus branches. While Nilo was thus distracted, Ampyx attacked by darting in, kicking him in the shins repeatedly, then darting out of staff-range to wait for his next opportunity to strike.
Vikram the fakir pushed his way to the front of the crowd. He didn’t know what was going on, but he figured that if that many people were watching it, it was most likely something he wanted to see. His reasoning, it turned out, was sound.
He watched the three men floundering in their pathetic stalemate for a moment, then scanned the crowd for familiar faces. The first ones he found were Gilbert and Sid, who were also at the front of the crowd, and seemed in the verge of bursting with delight.
Vikram shouted to them, “The wizard from Camelot is in trouble!”
Gilbert shouted back, “Yes!”
They watched the struggle for a moment. The sounds of grunts, curses, and smacking noises echoed around them.
“Shouldn’t we help him?” Vikram asked.
Sid said, “No!”
Vikram stared at him. Sid looked shamed, then said, “Oh, of course we’re going to help him, just not yet. Let us have just a little more of this, will you?”
Nilo staggered toward the middle of the square. Martin’s arm was clamped over the larger man’s eyes, and Martin was pulling on his ear, causing him to spin involuntarily to the left. Nilo swung the staff blindly in a wide arc, trying to find Ampyx, who was well out of range, throwing small rocks at him from a safe distance.
Nilo stopped spinning, despite Martin’s continued ear-pulling. He also stopped swinging the staff in his futile effort to hit Ampyx. He knew that he needed to get his vision back if he was going to end the fight. He stood still for a moment, then leapt into the air and flopped to the ground directly on his back. All of his considerable weight came down on Martin’s diaphragm, a move that loosened Martin’s grip on Nilo’s head.
