Lanie got up, stared at the magazine, and threw it on the bed. “Well, I don’t need a man! Unless he can wash diapers.”
She went downstairs. Maeva had left the house, as Lanie knew she would. She started dividing her time between washing the diapers, trying to get something cooked for supper, and going back to check on Corliss. “I get so tired of all this, but I’ve got to keep going.” She picked up Corliss, who was laughing, and smiled ruefully. “I wish I didn’t have any more problems than you have, sweetheart!”
Forrest swirled the brush around in the shaving mug, lathered up a thick cream, and started pulling his razor down his cheeks. He had a tough beard, and his eyes watered, but he shaved quickly. The blade was dull, but safety razor blades cost money, so he made do. He had formed the habit of shaving at night, for it was easier to do it in the warm evening bathroom than in the cold morning one. When he finished, he washed the razor and the brush, put them in the medicine cabinet, and went into the bedroom. He paused and looked at the bed that he had shared with Elizabeth for so many years, then quickly turned away to the closet. He picked a long-sleeved warm shirt, slipped it on, and left the tail hanging out. Leaving the bedroom, he smelled the aroma of cooking food. When he got to the kitchen, he said, “You kids are ready to eat, I see, and I’m starved.”
As Forrest took his seat, he saw that the faces around the table were unhappy. “Well, you ought to feel good gettin’ out of school for vacation. Aren’t you happy?”
“Sure, Daddy.” Cody nodded. “It’ll give me time to do some worthwhile stuff.”
Forrest laughed. “You don’t think school’s worthwhile?”
“Shoot no! What do I have to study that old geography for? I ain’t ever goin’ to China.”
It was an old argument, so Forrest didn’t pursue it. “What’s the matter with you, Maeva? You look like you bit into a bad apple.”
“Nothin’s wrong with me.”
Lanie brought a platter and a large bowl to the table. She set them down and took her place without saying anything.
“Well, this looks downright good. I’ll just say the blessing over it myself.” He prayed quickly and then began to pile the food on his plate. “The roast is burned,” Maeva said. “I don’t think even Beau would eat it.”
“It sure is burnt!” Cody exclaimed. “Can’t hardly stick a fork in it.
Why’d you burn it like this?”
“You leave your sister alone,” Forrest said. “Everybody burns food once in a while.”
“I can’t eat this old burnt roast!” Maeva exclaimed. She had tried cutting it with a knife, and truly the roast was in bad shape. “It stinks.”
Cody opened a baked potato. “Hey, this here tater ain’t cooked! How come you burnt the roast and didn’t cook the potatoes enough, Lanie?”
“That’s enough from you, Cody,” Forrest said sternly. He saw that Lanie had her head down. “Don’t you worry about it, Muff. Everybody has bad days. I’ve had enough of ’em myself.”
When Lanie lifted her head, Forrest saw misery on her face. “I’m sorry supper’s so bad, Daddy. I just didn’t have time to cook a good meal.”
Davis cut off a chunk of beef and was chewing it manfully. He picked up one of the biscuits left over from the day before and said, “If you didn’t spend so much time washing clothes, you could have done better.”
Suddenly Forrest turned and looked at Maeva. She met his look for a moment, then looked down. “Maeva, did you wash the clothes today?”
“No. I hate to wash clothes.”
Forrest felt the heat of anger. “And you think your sister enjoys it?” Maeva looked up and glared at Lanie. “I don’t have to mind her! She ain’t my boss!”
Forrest’s fist hit the table. “Yes she is! And you boys get this! We’ve lost your mama, and somebody has to take over around here. I can’t be here because I’m out makin’ a living. When Delilah is here, she’s the boss. When she’s not here and Lanie is, you mind Lanie just like she was your mama.”
The misery on Lanie’s face trickled into her words. “Don’t say that, Daddy. I’m not their mama.”
“There’s no other way, Muff,” Forrest said. “We’ve got a tough row to hoe.” He looked around the table. “And everybody’s got to pull his weight. Maeva, from now on you do the washing, and I’d better not hear about any complaining.”
Lanie saw the stubbornness and anger on Maeva’s face and knew that trouble would come from her. “I can help her, Daddy.”
“No. You do the cooking and the ironing and most of the rest of the house cleaning. “That’s your job—and washing is Maeva’s.” Maeva looked up and saw an expression that troubled her. Her father was a happy man, always smiling, but he wasn’t smiling now.
“I want all of you,” Forrest said, “to take care of Corliss. She won’t have a mama’s love like the rest of you had so”—his voice seemed to break, and he reached over and caressed the baby’s silky hair—“we’ve all got to be sure she gets lots of love.”
A quiet fell across the table, and Forrest got up. He went around to Maeva and pulled her to her feet and put his arms around her. “I sound hard, but we’ve all got to pull together. You’re a tough egg, daughter, and I need you.”
Maeva grabbed him and held him fiercely. “I’ll wash the stupid ol’ diapers, Daddy!”
“That’s my girl. Now let’s sit down and let’s fix up a breakfast.”
“But it’s supper time.”
“I know, but let’s me and you, Maeva, fix up eggs and ham and we’ll make some toast.”
“What’ll we do with this roast?” Lanie said.
“We’ll do this.” Forrest picked up a piece of roast from his plate and tossed it to Beau, who gulped it down and began to whine for more. They all threw meat at him, and soon they were all laughing. Cap’n Brown appeared and Lanie began to feed him small portions of the meat.
“You’re nothing but a glutton, Beau!” Forrest said. His stern tone hurt Beau’s feelings, so he turned and lay down in the corner with his face to the wall.
“Now, while we fix this breakfast, you all tell me about what you’re doing in the pageant. What parts are you playing?”
“I’m the star,” Maeva said proudly. “I’m the Virgin Mary.”
“And me and Davis are dumb ol’ shepherds!” Cody said with disgust. “I wanted to bring in real sheep and cows, but the preacher’s wife she said it would be dangerous.”
“Dangerous! You mean they’d bite somebody?”
“Heck no!” Cody yelped. “She was scared they’d poop right in the middle of the pageant!”
His words amused the others, and they laughed as they cracked eggs and fried ham. Forrest managed to laugh with the kids, but his sober thoughts lay just beneath the levity. It’s too hard on these kids—especially Lanie—but there ain’t no other way.
The fire had gone down in the stove so the coals no longer glowed red. Lanie gave Corliss a bath in an oversized dishpan placed on the library table, which her dad had dragged close to the stove. Corliss was having a fine time splashing the water and giggling.
Forrest put down his newspaper and went over to run his hand over the infant’s back. “You know, I reckon the smoothest thing in this world is a baby’s skin.”
“I think you’re right, Daddy.” Lanie looked at her father. “You need to go to bed now. You’re tired.”
“You sound like your mama.” Forrest smiled. “She was always bossing me around. Now you’re starting.”
“Well, you work too hard. How’s the cutting going?”
“All right. Good timber, but some of it’s hard to get to. It’s hard to find good help,” he added, “and I’m not much of a bookkeeper.”
“Maybe I can help you.”
“You already do more than your share, Muff.” He looked at her.
“I’m sorry your grades went down. It wasn’t your fault.”
“Oh, it doesn’t matter.”
“Yes it does, but I’ll try
to make things easier for you.”
“Don’t worry about it, Daddy.”
“Maybe I’ll hire a woman to come in and do the housework.”
“We can’t afford that.”
“I’ve been trying to get a payment or two ahead at the bank.” He was running his hand over Corliss’s back, savoring the smooth feel of her rosy skin. He looked up, worry in his eyes. “I wish I’d never borrowed that money on our place here. This new President Hoover—I know he’s a smart man, but the markets are still going up and down. Nobody knows which way it’s going, not even the smart guys.”
Lanie put her arm around his waist and looked up at him. “It’ll be all right, Daddy. The Lord will take care of us.”
“You’re just like your mama,” Forrest marveled. He leaned over and kissed her, then kissed the baby on the top of the head. “I am going to bed. You know, Muff, I’m really looking forward to that Christmas pageant.”
“It’ll be good.”
Forrest had reached the door, but he turned around and smiled. “Something’s funny about the way they chose Maeva to play the Virgin Mary.”
“She’ll do a good job.”
“You’d think they’d want a real sweet girl for that.”
“Maeva can be sweet.”
“She can be meaner than a snake too. I hope she gets through that play without embarrassing all of us. Good night, sweetheart.”
“Good night, Daddy.”
C H A P T E R 8
The acrid smell of wood smoke laced the thin winter air, and a breeze stirred the sweet and musty and pungent odors of the earth. Forrest Freeman paused to watch a cloud of blackbirds wheeling into the falling darkness. The moon, a pale silver disk, beamed from the sky, and Forrest remembered how Lanie had always reached up for it as a baby. The memory made him laugh and he savored it for a time.
Forrest walked slowly around the perimeter of his five acres. He paused briefly when a small squirrel streaking from one tree to another with the usual calamitous air of such creatures stopped and looked at him. The squirrel reared up on his hind legs and tucked his front legs tightly against his chest. He looked like some kind of a priest saying prayers. Forrest smiled, stomped the ground, and watched the squirrel scurry away and fly up a tree as if it were flat earth.
This small plot was to Forrest Freeman the closest thing to holy ground that he had ever known. He had never known any home but this one, and he remembered with keen, strong waves of memory his father and his mother and his grandparents. He did not believe in the spirits of the dead haunting the earth, but somehow the memories brought them back almost as clearly as if he could see them.
Twilight softness and silence lay on the earth, and he looked up into the heavens. Far off to the west, Venus twinkled. He knew it was Venus because on his first date with Elizabeth she had pointed out the star and said, “That’s Venus.” When he asked how she knew, she laughed and said, “My father told me, and now we both know.”
The thought of Elizabeth brought a pang as it always did. “Lord, I guess I can only see through a glass darkly.” The sound of his voice was loud, and he shook his head ruefully. “I’m like Jacob wrestling with the angel. You know that I got awful mad at You when You took Elizabeth from me, but I know You’re the Lord. And as much as it hurts, You know best. I won’t question You again.”
He turned abruptly and headed toward the house. Behind him the trees stood in disorganized ranks, laying their shadows on the ground in long lines. The big walnut tree shouldered the moon out of the way as he reached the porch. He heard the children inside and murmured, “Thank you, Lord, that You left me my kids. And I pray You’ll keep ’em safe and keep us all together as a family.”
He stepped into the house, went through the kitchen, and found the children in the living room listening to the radio. Lanie was in the big, overstuffed rocker holding Corliss. Maeva, Davis, and Cody were all seated cross-legged Indian fashion on the floor before the radio. He watched them for a moment, then said, “You kids better get to bed.”
They all looked at him with surprise, and it was Cody who said, “Shoot, Daddy, it’s only nine o’clock, and we don’t have to get up in the morning.”
“Yes you do.”
“What for?” Davis protested. “There ain’t no school tomorrow.”
“Your mom would have told you to say ‘There isn’t any school tomorrow,’ but we’ve got somethin’ better than school.” He grinned.
“I’m takin’ you boys hunting. We’re going out to get a deer apiece.”
The boys jumped up and fired questions at their father. He held up his hand and laughed. “There’s a bit of timber we’ve been cutting with a creek to it. There’s more deer tracks, big ones, around there than you’ve ever seen in your life. So tomorrow mornin’ at daybreak we’ll be sittin’ there. We’ll have to get up maybe at three o’clock.”
“I want to go too, Daddy!” Maeva said.
“Huntin’ ain’t for girls!” Cody said.
“It is too! Take me, Daddy!” Maeva pulled at Forrest’s sleeve.
“All right. I reckon so. What about you, Lanie? You want to go too? We’ll get Delilah over here to keep Corliss.”
“No, I don’t like to kill things, but I’ll get up and cook breakfast for you. Then Corliss and me will have the day all to ourselves.”
“We’ll be back by noon with three big fat deer. And tomorrow night’s the Christmas pageant, so you actors will have to get ready for your parts.”
“It don’t take no actin’ to wear a bathrobe and a towel wrapped around your head and tote a crooked stick,” Cody said. “I wanted them to let me be the angel, but Miz Prince, she wouldn’t do it.”
“Too bad they didn’t need a devil,” Davis said, winking at his father. “You’d have been great for that part.”
“That’s enough of that,” Forrest said sharply. “Everybody to bed.”
Cody, Davis, and Maeva scampered off, and Forrest winked at Lanie. “I found a secret how to make ’em go to bed without arguin’.
Tell ’em I’ll take ’em deer huntin’.” He laid his hand on the smooth crown of Lanie’s hair. “You’ve got pretty hair just like your mama. You sure you don’t want to go?”
“I don’t want to kill one of those beautiful deer.”
Forrest leaned down and kissed her cheek. “You eat ’em though, that nice tender venison.” He laughed. “Here, let me have my girl baby.
You go on to bed. I’ll get you up in the mornin’. You can cook us a great breakfast.”
Lanie did go to bed, but not to sleep. A poem, a sonnet, had been forming in her mind. Miss Dunsmore had taught the class how sonnets worked before the Christmas break. “A sonnet is very regular,” she had said. “Every sonnet has fourteen lines. If it has one more or one less, it’s not a sonnet. And every sonnet has three quatrains and one couplet. A quatrain is four lines and a couplet is two. Each of the three quatrains say one thing, and the couplet sums up the whole poem.”
For several days now, in the absence of other schoolwork, Lanie’s creative ideas had begun to reassert themselves. Carefully Lanie began writing.
Lost Things
When I was four, a Raggedy Ann doll was my treasure.
I loved her dearly and shared with her my bed.
She was my childhood friend and dearest pleasure—
But she got lost on a picnic, and now is dead.
When I was six, my present was a book all filled
With pictures of lovely ladies and knights.
My delight was in the Table Round—until
A leaky roof drowned all my delight.
I thought I’d lose nothing I loved more
Than these. But when my mama left us all,
The world turned black and from my heart tore
Itself in two. I found how deep a heart can fall.
The sun and moon and stars you keep in place,
Then why, O Lord, withhold from me your grace?
For a lon
g moment Lanie stared at the words, then crumpled the paper and threw it on the floor. She buried her face in the pillow and wept.
The next morning the four older Freeman children stumbled into the kitchen sleepy-eyed, the boys and Maeva pulling on their heavy clothing and Lanie in a heavy chenille robe that had been her mother’s. It was cut down to fit her, and it brought a twinge of regret to Forrest, who was up and had the fire going in the stove. He said only, “We need a big meal here, kids. I reckon about four or five eggs ought to be plenty for me with a little of that fried ham and some grits.”
Lanie had made preparations the night before, and since the fire was ready it took almost no time to cook breakfast. As she cooked, she listened as her father instructed all three in guns. The boys had shot already, but Maeva had not.
“I’m gonna let you have this shotgun, honey,” he said, holding it carefully. “I’ll see that we get close enough where you can’t miss.”
“Daddy, she’s liable to shoot us all with that thing!” Davis said.
“No she won’t. It’ll be fine. Now, is that breakfast ready, Lanie?”
“Yes, Daddy.”
“Then let’s lay our ears back and buck right into it.”
Lanie watched them eat hurriedly, listening all the while for Corliss’s cry. She had learned to hear the baby’s crying even when she was in a sound sleep. When they all got up to leave, Forrest hugged her and whispered, “We’ll be back by noon. Don’t worry about cookin’ anything. I’ll take care of that.”
“All right, Daddy.”
Forrest looked at his boys and Maeva and said, “Well, I guess we’re like Nimrod in the Bible. We’re mighty hunters before the Lord.”
“Can Beau go with us?” Davis asked.
“No, he’d scare every deer in ten miles. Come on. Let’s go.”
Lanie watched them go, and then she sat down in front of the kitchen stove and drank a cup of coffee. She left the door of the stove open so she could hear the crackling of the firewood as it snapped and popped. Finally she went upstairs, got a notebook, and returned to the kitchen table. Cap’n Brown jumped up into her lap and purred like a small engine.
THE HOMEPLACE Page 9
