Yvette, looking confused and said, "Who is this?"
The woman stuttered and said, "Oh, oh. I’m sorry ... I must have the wrong number” and hung up.
Yvette thought about it for a minute ... what was this “BM” name coming up when this woman called?
She went upstairs to the bathroom where James was singing in the shower, and said "You left your phone downstairs. It kept ringing and I thought it might be an emergency, so I answered it."
James opened the shower door and asked, "Well, who was it?"
She replied "Well, the name said BM, and I thought it was Barry, but it was some woman talking about her sick child."
James looked like he was about to faint, and then he asked, "So what happened?"
Yvette told him that she said it was a wrong number. He said it was probably one of Barry's women calling for him. "He probably gave her my number. I'll talk to him later." That story didn't even make sense, he must think that I’m stupid she thought, but she kept quiet.
Then James said, "It probably was a phone issue, you know how this technology always screws up ... and is dinner ready, because I'm starved." Yvette is no dummy. She walked out the room and immediately her brain went into motion. She was feeling like she was just punched in the gut because then she had to think about the fact the he just might be cheating on her.
When he got out of the shower and came downstairs to eat, the first thought that came to her was, I should hit him upside his big ass head with this hot skillet, but she waited until he sat down to talk to him.
"James, you know I'm not stupid. Now tell me the truth about what's going on."
James looked her dead in her eyes and said, "I don't know what you are talking about."
"Oh really?" said Yvette. “Then let's just call this BM back, and maybe she can tell me what's going on."
She picked up the phone and was about to push the button to call the number back, when he snatched his phone from her.
"Let's leave her out of this," said James.
Yvette jumped up. "And who is this her that you are trying to protect?" screamed Yvette.
"Look, it's Barry's side piece. I promised him I would look after her while he was out of town. I should have told you, but I knew you wouldn't like me doing this."
"So, he has a baby with this chick, and his wife doesn't know about it? They are our good friends, and you are helping him keep this secret from his wife?" asked Yvette.
"That's about the size of it. I'm sorry for not telling you, but I knew you wouldn't approve."
"I sure as hell don't approve and I can't believe you do!" She stormed out of the room and went to their bedroom. She took a shower and went to bed, and didn't speak to him anymore that night. She really didn't get much sleep. At one point, she bolted straight up in the bed. BM, BM .. . baby mama! That motherfucker!
The next day, she called in sick to work, something she rarely does, and went to see a private investigator. She had watched the show “Cheaters” enough to know how they operated. The person she hired discovered information in three days. They found out that James was paying for the place where this woman was staying, that his name was on the child's birth certificate, that she was his side piece, not Barry's, and that he was just a low-down lying asshole. Yvette was devastated, but took it with class and calmness at first, but when the reality of it sunk in, she fell apart and cried for hours. She began to blame herself for him cheating on her…her weight, her long work hours, her time spent with her friends. After she finally looked deep into herself and the situation, she pulled herself together and confronted him with what she found out, and told him he had two days to get his stuff out and leave.
That same day, Yvette packed up some of her belongings and went to stay with her sister.
"Why did you leave the house?" asked her sister.
"Oh, it's only temporary. I gave him two days to get all his shit out of the house. I'll be damned if he and his bitch and bastard baby are going to live there. I just couldn't stand seeing his sorry, lying, cheating face for another second. I don't know why he would do this to me!"
She was mad but tears sprung in her eyes as she remembered the conversation they had the night she confronted him with her findings.
"I knew something was wrong with our marriage, and I thought it was just me. I don't even want to know how long this had been going on, because it really doesn't matter now. How do you even know the baby is yours?" she had said to him.
"I just know," said James, “and he looks just like Morgan did when she was a baby."
Yvette couldn't contain herself. She hauled off and slapped him real hard. She started to hit him again, but he grabbed both her hands.
"I deserve that," James said, "and I know you don't want to hear me say I'm sorry."
He released her hands.
"Sorry? You better get your nasty, cheating, lying no condom-wearing ass out of my face and my life," she screamed.
"So, we can't talk about this?” he asked.
She glared at him with a look that could sink a battleship.
"You better hope I didn't catch anything…not that we’ve had any sex lately, and I'm giving you two days to get your shit out of my house. This marriage is over, and I hope you, your bastard, and your little thot are happy." She felt a little bad about the remark about the baby, he didn’t ask to be here, but she was very angry.
Tears poured down her face as she thought about it.
"I still can't believe you kicking yourself. It wasn't your fault, and it was is his loss. Karma is a bitch and you just need to cry all the way to the bank. But you got to go home, otherwise that would be abandonment, “said Yvette's sister Lauren.
"I know. I'm going back. I just need a couple of days to chill. "
"Well, you know you can stay here as long as you need to."
"Thanks, sis."
That evening she went to the movies by herself…something she had never done before.
I've got to get used to doing things on my own, she told herself. I don’t even want to be with my girls right now because she felt she would be too much of a downer. They called her everyday and visited to make she sure she was alright.
James had been such a big part of her life. Her whole world revolved around him. She needed a good laugh, so she chose the movie “The Hangover Part 2.” She ordered popcorn, Raisenets, and a pop. She found a seat in the crowded theater and waited for the movie to start.
No sooner than the previews and opening credits began, then a guy approached her.
"Excuse me, is this seat taken?"
She looked over at him. "Nope." She returned her gaze to the screen and thought why does everybody ask me that wherever I am? Do I look like the seat police? He took a seat one over from where she was sitting.
A few seconds later, he leaned over and talked to her again. “Excuse me, I don't mean to bother you, but are you here alone?"
Who asks that? she thought. She had just put a big handful of popcorn in her mouth, so she raised up one finger while she chewed, then took a sip of pop. She swallowed.
"Yes I am. Looks like you are too."
"Yes I am. I come to the movies alone all the time. I call it taking myself out on a date."
She smiled at him. Hmmmm, never thought about it that way. I kind of like that. She looked him over. He was about her height, looked to be around sixty, and had a friendly smile.
"I'm going to start doing that too. Today is my first date then." They laughed.
The movie started.
"Enjoy the movie," he said.
"Well, enjoy the movie and your date. By the way, your date seems to be a very nice person."
"She is. Thanks. Yours too," said Yvette, and turned her attention to the screen because the movie was starting and she really didn't feel like talking to anyone.
She smiled after the movie was over. It was so funny. I really needed that, she thought.
She was shuffling down the seats past her new friend wh
en he said, “By the way, my name is Thomas and I was going to ask if I could take you out for coffee, but I see you are married," he said nodding at her hand.
"I'm Yvette and I'm newly separated."
"Well, that means you might get back together."
"Well that's a lie, ‘cause that will never happen!" she snapped.
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you. So does that mean you are free for coffee then? Really. No strings attached," he said and held his hands up in the air.
“I don't know about that."
"Well let's just go to the Starbucks on the corner. I'm just a lonely old man in need of a little adult conversation. I'm raising my grandkids and this is my wild night out."
She decided there wouldn't be any harm in having coffee, so she went and they talked. She found out he was a retired car salesman and real estate agent. She ordered a mocha chino and he ordered the same thing. He divulged to her that he was divorced and worked a lot of hours, and feels that contributed to his divorce.
"My wife was very sad because I wasn't home that much. She felt like she was raising the kids herself and she basically was, but I had to provide for my family. She thought she could deal with it but she couldn't. She ultimately cheated on me ... what can I say? But enough about me ... what's your story?"
She was really a private person, but felt comfortable telling her story to this man. She figured she would never see him again and it did help her vent. She gave him a watered-down version of what happened.
"That was so cold. Wow. How are you dealing with it? I'm a man and I would be devastated if that happened to me, but in a way, it did."
"It did devastate me," said Yvette.
"I kind of saw mine coming, but this dude had another family!" said Thomas.
"Yeah, I know, but I'm done crying and being mad and I'm moving on to bigger and better things. God does things for a reason." A tear slipped out of her eye that she wiped away. "But it does still hurt."
“You really think that this was God? I’m not sure I agree with that,” said Thomas.
“Well He brought me this far, and because of my faith, I believe He has another plan for me,” she said.
He grabbed her hand.
"It's his loss and nothing good is going to happen to him. I don't like to wish bad on anybody but that brother was ratchet."
They met for coffee a few more times whenever he was free. They even went to the movies. He was always a gentleman and made her laugh. He was a very good listener and she enjoyed his company. They talked on the phone often and she looked forward to his calls. She really loved her girls but she enjoyed having a man friend that she could just talk to. She had been married for a long time, wasn't looking for a relationship so soon, and was just happy with the friendship they had.
Elaine
Elaine's son, Jayden, is Autistic. Autism is a disorder of neural development characterized by impaired social interaction, verbal and non-verbal communication, and by restricted and repetitive behavior. She learned that he was in the spectrum when he was two and a half. He was normal and current with everything most "normal" babies did, until one day Elaine noticed that something wasn't quite right with him. She would talk to him and he would just look past her or ignore her. She thought he had a hearing problem, so she took him to his pediatrician, how referred him to specialist that tested hearing, who in turn referred him to another clinic that gave him an EEG to ensure that things were okay with his brain. This was where she received the news that he was Autistic.
She had also observed that he had stopped talking as much, but the limited things he did say were incredible. At two he knew all his alphabet and numbers, which he learned very quickly by just looking at flash cards. Elaine made sure both her children learned their letters before even teaching the alphabet song that most children knew. He could write letters and numbers just by looking at them. He was amazing!
One day when he was three years old, she was reading a newspaper, and he came over and pointed and said "Sears." She looked and noticed it was an ad from Sears so she figured he saw it on TV. He then pointed at another word, television, and said it! Elaine was amazed! She started pointing out other words and he sounded out each word if he couldn’t just pronounce it, and she was running around the room like Nettie and Celie in the Color Purple. She picked him up and hugged him. This child is such a blessing, she thought.
The older he got, the more time he spent alone drawing, reading, or watching TV. He loved TV and video games, was an exceptional artist, and only liked to be "bothered" by a select few people.
When he was four and she was looking to put him into a preschool, the school district that she lived in tried to put him in schools with physically and severely handicapped children. She felt that he couldn't excel in that environment, so she fought for him because she knew her rights. Instead, she got him into the prestigious Birmingham school system, where he was offered a great education and wonderful opportunities. But even in this environment, she had to push them to challenge him because he was so intelligent and more advanced than most of his peers. She got him in band where he played the xylophone. The first ever child with Autism to do this. He was so good that he learned to read music. Once he learned a song, no matter how long it was, he was able to play it note for note without looking at the sheet music. Going to concerts and watching him play on a stage full of musicians always made her proud and him so happy.
The teachers all loved him and so did the kids in school. Because the schools were “regular” schools, he was always mainstreamed into classes with the non-Autistic students. He loved music and was always a big hit at all the dances. Dealing with Autism is a 24/7 job, and she knew she had done a great job educating herself and advocating for her son and for other Autistic children and families.
Elaine rarely dated when her children were younger. Not only was it hard to find time to go out while working and raising the children, it was hard to find a man that was willing to take on a woman with two kids, especially when one of them had special needs. Some guys tried to understand what Autism meant, but because she was so guarded about bringing men around her children unless they were in a serious relationship, very few even got to meet them because they “flunked” her “tests” early on in the dating stages.
Her phone rang and it was Michael, the guy she had met on an online dating site. He lived in Chicago and because he had stated that he too had an Autistic child, she felt a connection with him. They found that they had similar stories about their children. If nothing else, she figured she had found another parent that she could talk to about the issues of Autism. She was still a little apprehensive about considering a relationship with him, based on her past online duds.
She thought about their first-time meeting. It started with a phone call.,
"Hello," said Elaine. "What's going on, Michael?"
"Me and Emma are going to be in Detroit this weekend because we are going to my cousin’s wedding, and I would really like for our kids to meet, and for me to finally see you, face to face."
"That sounds good. We don't have any plans, so call me when you get here."
"I most definitely will. I can't wait to meet Mr. Jayden ... and you."
She had discussed her apprehension with Yvette.
“Elaine, sometimes it’s okay to take a chance. Follow your instincts and meet at a public place. You’ve been talking on the phone for awhile, just be careful. I know how protective you are of your children, but I have a feeling, based on what you’ve told me, that it will be alright.”
The weekend came and they made plans to meet at Dave and Busters, an arcade and sports bar and restaurant that catered to both adults and children, which was one of Jayden’s favorite spots.
She knew it was him the moment she saw him, because he looked just like his pictures (not everyone does). He was a few inches taller than her…tall enough… and had the friendliest face. His daughter was a cutie and held on tight to her dad’s hand.
> "Elaine?" he asked as they approached each other. "Michael?" They hugged each other. "This is Emma," he said, nodding at his daughter. "Hello,” said Emma without eye contact, and a slight smile.
"This is Jayden," Elaine said. "Hi!" said Jayden quickly, who also didn’t make eye contact, but immediately went over to Emma and hugged her. She half-hugged him back, and quickly pulled away.
Elaine pulled him back. "Sorry, but he loves pretty girls."
Mike laughed. "It's all good. He has good taste." He extended his hand to shake Jayden's. "Man, it's so good to finally meet you," he said to Jayden.
"Nice to meet you," said Jayden, in a monotone, robotic-like voice, as he gave Mike a quick handshake.
“It’s so crowded in here today! Let’s find a spot to sit and order some food, because we are starving!” said Elaine.
“Sounds good,” replied Mike.
They found a place to sit.
"We will be right here, ok?" said Mike.
"Ok," they both said, and ventured out to find their favorite games after receiving their game cards. The parents situated themselves so that they could keep an eye on them.
Why CAN T I Be A Cougar?? Page 14
