I reach for a tissue on my desk, and begin dabbing her sadness away.
“Heather, why are you crying, honey?”
“I have done nothing but sit here and think about what my life would be like if you weren’t in it. I don’t know what I would do if she had seriously hurt you. I’m so sorry, baby, for everything. You have no idea how responsible I feel for what happened.”
“Look, I don’t want to dwell on what might have been. I’m alive, and so lucky. She never physically hurt me. Enough, though. I don’t want to talk about Lana—please. I’m just not ready yet.”
“I know, I’m not pushing. I’m just glad you’re okay.”
“And thank you for not telling anyone about the letter. I already had to give a police report before I left the hospital. I have no interest in discussing this with anyone else, and there is no telling what kind of personal things she might have wrote in here. The entire thing is humiliating enough without everyone in Atlanta finding out.”
“I understand, Syd. I won’t say a word to anyone.”
“Do you want to come in and sit down?”
“Um—no. I’ll leave you in privacy before Mia comes back and knocks me out with a hammer.”
Her posture returns to its typical reserved and laid back nature as she leans against the door frame, crossing her legs at the ankle. Her light khakis are perfectly wrinkle free, the bottom cuffs turned up slightly to show off her lime colored Chuck Taylor’s she paired to match her polo shirt. Everything about her seems normal, at least that’s what she’s trying to portray. I’ve known her long enough to identify when she is uncomfortable—which she is. She’s itching to get away from me. The way she fingers that little piece of hair that keeps falling in her eyes and the way she keeps biting her bottom lip from the inside is telling. I’ve seen it on her before—she’s feeling anxious. I should’ve known she would hate me after everything that’s happened. She doesn’t even want to be around me. I can’t say that I blame her. All I can do is try to make her understand, and be honest with her this time, like a real friend should.
“I’m sorry about the way she treated you, Heather. I asked her to let me handle my own business, but you know Mia, she has to control everything.”
“She’s your sister, that’s what she’s supposed to do. The thing I don’t get is why she’s so pissed at me. If you didn’t tell her about—that night, then what’s her beef? Is it because I let Lana get to you?”
This is my first opportunity to be honest, and I don’t know how. If I tell her about the bracelet, it’s sure to prompt a laundry list of other questions—questions I’m not ready to answer, especially with our friendship on thin ice already. Nick is not a safe conversation right now. Soon—I will tell her soon.
“There are a lot of things we need to talk about, Heather—that being one of them. I owe you an explanation, as well as a huge apology. I need some time to get my thoughts together. I’m going to read this letter, and after that if I feel up to talking I’ll come and get you. Is that okay? I’m not blowing you off, but this letter is burning a hole in my head. I’m ready to extinguish her from my mind permanently.”
“I understand, Syd. When you’re ready, I’ll be here.” She turns from me quietly, returning to the living room.
Like a Band-Aid, I rip the letter from the envelope, unleashing her god-awful perfume scent into my room. I hated her perfume, it always coated my mouth with its strong sweet aroma. The fact that she sprayed it on her stationary is no surprise; she always took pride in her scent, saying how much Nick loved it. Disgusting. I prep my eyes for the message I’m about to read, adjusting my squint to read her sloppy lettering. It’s written in red pen, what a nice touch.
Hey Red,
I’m sure you’re just thrilled to hear from me. If you are reading this than things must have gone bad and I’m dead. There are a few things I need to say to you that you MUST remember.
1: Don’t share the information I give you with anyone, including Dominick.
2: Heather is NOT the enemy, she is the closest thing to an ally that you’ve got, use it to your advantage.
4: Most importantly, DO NOT bargain with Peyton, no matter what you do. She’s on to you and she doesn’t play nice. I don’t know everything, but I do know she has his body hidden somewhere, I don’t know where. She’s bat shit fucking crazy! I blackmailed her and ended up in a loony bin. The only reason I ever made it out of there is because YOU showed up. Peyton found out that you were living in here. She is well aware of Dominick’s ability to reach people in that room. She learned of Dominick’s ability when I first moved in. I was foolish and confided in her before I found out who she really was. Chances are, you’ve already encountered her more than once and you didn’t even know it. That said, be choosy about who you talk to regarding Dominick.
Things were not supposed to end this way. When Peyton asked me to come to the apartment and “handle” you, I agreed because I missed Dominick and I wanted to see him, not to mention it got me out of that nut house. The original plan was to kill you and she would make sure I still had contact with Dominick for the rest of my life, which sounded like a good deal to me at first. But I told Dominick my plan and he threatened to never speak to me again if I hurt you. So things kinda changed. That’s when I knew…it’s YOU he loves. I tried to change his mind but he is way too far gone.
I figured if I were the one to find his body and set him free that he would know that I love him more than you ever could. That’s why I couldn’t let you go. I held you here to keep Peyton at bay while I continued to search for his body. Screwing with your head was just a perk, to keep things interesting, but I know he will never be mine. His heart belongs to you. The asshole wouldn’t even kiss me.
I still want you to help him, even though I can’t anymore. There’s something bugging me that I can’t quite figure out…Why is Peyton hiding him? Isn’t she putting herself at risk by keeping his dead body somewhere? There’s something missing in this story and I need you to figure it out. Do the right thing and set him free, Sydney.
Heather is completely blind to what’s going on with Dominick. You need to get Heather to open her eyes and see what is going on in her own house. Peyton has a soft spot for her. USE IT if you need to. Peyton made me plant that bracelet in her drawer after she heard you and Cayden talking about it at the Greek restaurant. You were supposed to find it and leave the house thinking Heather was a psycho or something. But you didn’t leave. Peyton didn’t want anything to go down around Heather.
Since that didn’t work I tried to drug Heather’s wine the night she went all psycho rapist on you, hoping she would pass out and I could snatch you from the apartment and handle you elsewhere. Again, plans fail and it didn’t work exactly like I planned but in the end I made it work. If Heather hadn’t left that morning I would have been forced to do something with her in the house and Peyton would not have been happy about it.
The only reason I’m telling you this is because you and Dominick aren’t exactly on good terms right now so you might not want to help him. Try to remember that you owe him. He saved your life. Without him I would have taken your ass out in a heartbeat. Repay him by bringing him home. He needs to crossover so he can find happiness.
Time to go now,
Lana
Hint Hint: Peyton owns the building. Start digging there, its public record. Trust me, once I finally made the connection everything started to come together. And remember, keep it on the down low. If the wrong people find out you’re as good as dead, and Nick is stuck forever.
So many things don’t make sense. Lana didn’t really know much more than I do. She knows Peyton has Nick’s body hidden somewhere, but she never managed to figure out why or where. She was merely trying to hold on to him, she wasn’t trying to save him. Selfish lying bitch.
As for Heather, how exactly is she tied to Peyton? Why is Peyton so protective over her? Heather is innocent; she didn’t stash that bracelet, it was planted. I knew
in my heart she wasn’t to blame for any of this. I was so incredibly wrong about everything.
The guilt eats away at my heart like acid inching its way through me, slowly deteriorating me from the inside out. Heather never did anything other than love me. Look what I gave her in return—disloyalty and lies. I hurt her, and for that I will be eternally regretful.
I try to avoid the nagging thought that Peyton could be anywhere, listening, watching—waiting to strike. A new fear builds in me, a fear of what I can’t see or hear. A fear of what is blending into my life so flawlessly that I haven’t even noticed it. Who is this woman?
I leave my room fearfully, scared to death my best friend in the world hates me, and with good reason. I’ve never felt so horrible about anything in my life.
“Heather.”
She won’t look at me, but she answers. From a side view I see tears glistening down her face.
“What’s up, Syd?”
“Can you ever forgive me?” Fat tears stream down my cheeks.
“Forgive you? Are you kidding me? I attacked you. And worse yet, left you here alone for a psycho to take you hostage. You’ve done nothing wrong, Sydney. I’m the one who should be begging forgiveness, not you.”
“You’re wrong. I know this is hard to understand, but it wasn’t you, it was Lana. She spiked your wine that night. She was in the house. She admitted it in this letter. Aside from the letter, I know it wasn’t you.”
“What? She was here and she drugged me? Sydney, are you for real?”
“Heather, I wouldn’t lie to you. I will never lie to you again. I’m telling you the honest truth.”
“Again? What have you lied about before?” Her full attention is on me now.
I try to gently avoid the question. After Lana’s warning, I’m afraid of dragging Heather into this. I don’t want her to become the focus of anyone dangerous—such as Peyton. Whether or not Lana is right and Peyton has some sort of allegiance to Heather, I’m taking no chances. I won’t let anyone hurt her.
“I can’t tell you, Heather. I have to keep this quiet for now, for my safety and yours. I can’t put you at risk.”
“Syd, I can’t help you when you’re hiding things from me. Put your trust in me.”
“I do trust you, more than ever, but I can’t tell you this—not right now. I have to figure this all out before I can come clean with everything. Please understand.”
“I know all about secrets, Sydney. I even have a few of my own, so I get it and I’ll respect your privacy. But if you change your mind, I will do everything in my power to help you. As long as I’m around nobody will ever get to you again. I love you, Kid.” She holds my hand genuinely.
“I love you too, Heather. More than you would ever understand. You’re my best friend. I don’t know what the future holds for us, but friendship is all I have to offer right now. Is that going to be enough for you?”
“You’re my friend—my best friend. That’s never changed. If I were being completely honest, I would tell you that I do want more—much more. But I’m not willing to lose one for the other, so friendship is going to have to be enough.”
After everything I’ve lost, I’m ridiculously happy to know that Heather is not one of them.
“Thank you for being such a good person, Heather. You have no idea how much you mean to me, I wouldn’t be complete without you.”
“Would it be okay to assume that means that you will be staying?” She looks hopeful.
Even the idea of coexisting with Nick couldn’t drag me away at this point. I don’t know what will become of Nick and me, but I do know I want to stay here—with Heather.
“Yes, if that’s alright with you.” My tone is more of a question than an answer.
“I would love nothing more.” She smiles widely.
“Good. Since that is settled I think I’m going to run on to bed, I’m so tired. The last few weeks have been hell on my body.”
“I can’t even imagine. You go on to sleep, and I will make sure every trace of Lana is wiped from this apartment by the time you wake up. Your dark room will be back to normal before the sun comes up.”
“Thank you. As always, you know exactly what to say.”
We say our goodnights just like old times, with a friendly hug and a promise to see each other in the morning. At least one thing has quickly returned to normalcy. Heather is back in my life, and I will never be dragged away from her again.
***
I lie on my bed feeling dozy the instant I hit my familiar, comfy mattress. I try to keep him from entering my mind. I pray he will not be there when I close my eyes. I’m not ready to deal with him just yet.
“Goodnight, Little Monster.” I bid goodnight to the new love of my life, closing my eyes and letting darkness take me.
***
“Sydney! Baby, I didn’t know. I swear to you I didn’t know what she was doing to you.” He’s waiting on the edge of my bed the moment I fall asleep.
Everything about him lures me to jump into him, run directly into his arms. I can’t. I still don’t know how much he meant of what he said. He hurt me so entirely. I need him to stay away from me.
“Dominick, leave me alone.” I turn away from his eyes. If I look at him, it will all be over, it will push me directly back into him.
“I was trying to protect you. I tried to let you know she was there, without saying it. I called you Red. She is the only person I’ve ever heard call you that, I was sure that would have been a dead giveaway.”
“I tried to get you to speak to me through meditation, Nick. You refused.”
“I wasn’t sure how well she had perfected her communication skills. I couldn’t read her mind, Syd. I had no choice, I couldn’t risk her hearing us somehow. She would have killed you.”
“I don’t believe you so stop wasting your breath. I asked you to leave me alone. If you refuse, then I will simply ignore you. Now, be quiet, I’m trying to rest.”
My own words dig into my heart like a dagger. I don’t want him gone. I only hope he keeps his promise of staying out of my head—he will know.
“You’ll have to ignore me then. I’ll sit right over here in this chair every single night until you finally talk to me. Goodnight, baby. I love you.” He lifts himself from the edge of the bed, cozying into my chair directly in front of me, breathing his delicious spearmint scent right in my face.
“Fine. Waste your own time, then.”
“I have nothing but time, baby. Sleep.”
I lie still pretending he doesn’t exist. Fortunately, he does exactly as he promised. He doesn’t move from the chair all night. He watches me silently, smirking at me every time I peek my eyes open to see if he’s still there. Smug bastard. Trying to sleep in a dream is a very unusual feeling, but after a while I somehow manage to tune everything out and get some rest. That is, until something crouched in the corner catches my eye.
Lana stands in the corner of my room again, watching me with her evil smile, inching closer to my bed. I try to rub the image away, praying its nothing more than a flashback or a nightmare like when I was drowning the ocean. Just as before, I can’t see through the panic overcoming my good sense and reason. My body lunges from the bed involuntarily, walking me backwards toward the window. I can’t stop myself from trying to escape her. I will jump out before she can get to me; it’s the only place I have to go. I turn to the window and visualize it open. It works like magic as the wind instantly hits my face. She grabs me before I can jump, swinging me back around to face her. Blood oozes from her mouth and nose. Her eyes are black. Her fingers claw into my wrists going straight through the bone. My blood runs black and smells of ink. I’m going to jump. I have to get out of here. She’s going to kill me.
“Sydney, she isn’t real. Control your dream, baby. You know how,” Nick speaks softly.
“She’s real, it’s not a nightmare. She’s real.” I panic.
Nick rushes over to the window, sweeping me into his arms.
“I’m getting you away from here.”
I struggle to come out of his grip, but relent quickly. I’m scared.
“Where are you taking me, Dominick?”
“My new favorite place. Our place, baby.”
The image unveiling as my eyes open rips my heart from my chest. Everything is exactly as it was that night, the night we made magic. Aqua water, blue stars in the charcoal sky, waves licking the sand, music playing in the background—the memory is almost too much to bear.
“Why would you bring me here, Nick? You said this was so unoriginal and cliché. You mocked the first time we made love. I don’t want to be here. I never want to remember this moment.”
If it weren’t enough to bring me here, he has decided to recreate the moment. He stands next to me as he replicates an identical couple—us, making wonderful magic a few feet away. The woman looks like me, the man is Nick, so into the moment. Her eyes are closed. Their fingers entwine and look like spiders dancing in the sand. His free hand strokes her dark red hair. He stares down at her with so much love in his eyes.
His voice startles me from the scene that continues to take my breath away.
“I couldn’t take my eyes off you the entire time. You were so beautiful.”
My eyes stream steadily as I struggle to breathe. Knowing what became of us after that night is heart wrenching. Reliving it is tearing me apart.
“How can you think I don’t love you, Sydney? How can you think I meant any part of what I said?”
He points to the two bodies on the beach as I struggle to look away.
“Pretend you were watching someone else; forget the fact that you know it’s us. Those two people over there are in love; true, passionate, forever kind of love. You can see it in the way he touches her, the way her body moves closer to him with each breath. Don’t tell me you can’t see it. There was nothing about that moment other than perfect. I need you to see it, Sydney. Please, I’m begging you—pleading. Don’t leave me.”
Dreamers (The Dreamers Series) Page 16
