I was so excited after I left Dr. Grenville’s office, I did a stupid, spastic dance down the hall, and while I was coming around a corner, I tackled some poor girl in a pink and white striped skirt to the ground. And not just any girl. A gorgeous blonde. The candy striper of my dreams. I was feeling too good to be embarrassed, so I quickly stood up, pulled her to her feet, and apologized. She laughed and said she could tell I was in a good mood. Her eyes are really blue—and she has a smile that belongs on a magazine cover. I tried not to look at her legs too much while she fixed her skirt. I made sure to check her name tag—Jennifer—before I said, “Yeah, well, today’s been a good day, Jennifer.” She looked confused—surprised—for a second until I pointed at her name tag. And then she smiled at me—in an interested sort of a way—and said I had her at a disadvantage, because I knew her name, but she didn’t know mine. I’d barely said, “Brett Colton” when some nurse with rotten timing called her, so she had to say good-bye. She sure is beautiful, Kitty . . .
March 8
Dear Kitty,
Sam and Alex both have parts in our school’s musical, Once upon a Mattress. I missed the tryouts because I’ve been sick, but the guy who was supposed to be the king broke his leg and there’s no understudy for him, so I thought, what the heck, and tried out for the part. I can play the piano a little by ear, so during lunch break at school, I put together a fancy piano part to a stupid campfire song. When it was my turn to try out, I acted all serious and said: “This is a song we’ve sung in my family for years. I think it’s helped to bring us a lot closer.” I sat down and played this fancy, sad, slow introduction, swaying dramatically like some professional at the piano, then I stopped and changed to a “Chopsticks” style of playing and sang:
Oh, it’s H2O, that makes you want to go
On the farm (on the farm), on the farm (on the farm),
Oh, it’s H2O, that makes you want to go
On the Leland Stanford Junior Farm.
My-eyes-are-dim-I-cannot-see-I-have-not-got-my-specs-with-me,
I have not got my specs with me!
I ended with a few dramatic chords, and at first, no one even breathed. Then a girl started to giggle, and a guy in the back of the room chuckled, then everyone laughed and clapped. I bowed while our drama teacher, Miss Goforth, shook her head and said, “Leave it to you, Brett!”
As of today, I am now King Sextimus the Silent. I don’t think it will take me very long to learn my lines.
And then there’s the football side of my life—Coach was pretty excited when I told him my remission news. It won’t take me long to get back in shape, and football clinics this summer will get me back in the game. I know I’ll make the team—I’m going to make myself play better than I ever have before. This time, we will take state!
Of course, Alex has to be a negative worrywort. He thinks I’m getting ahead of myself and trying to get back into everything too fast. How can you get back into life too fast? Good grief—I’ve missed too much as it is! Alex can frown at me until that scowl on his face sticks for good. I feel great, and that’s all that matters.
At least everyone else is excited. Mom and Dad were ecstatic. Especially Mom. She cried and laughed at the same time and hugged me too much. And Kelly—he made up for Alex. He’s psyched about my remission. He kept saying there’s power in prayer. He asked me if I was still praying, so I had to admit that I thought I’d done enough praying for now, since I don’t really need His help anymore. You should’ve seen the look on Kelly’s face. He got all upset, telling me I can’t stop praying now, just because I’ve finally made it to remission, and that you need to always pray, because we need His help all the time, and need to thank Him for everything He gives us every day, so I promised him I’d try to remember to keep praying.
And then there’s you. When I told you the news, you just smiled as if you knew all along that my remission was going to happen . . .
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
Don’t be such a wimp, Kathy—just do it!
I’d originally felt wonderful about my decision, but now
that it was Saturday afternoon and I was standing on the doorstep of Jason’s gigantic house, staring at the huge oak door in front of me, it took all of my courage to knock on it. It didn’t help that I’d fought about the whole thing with Mom. The fact that she was completely against what I’d decided to do had been eating at my resolve all morning long.
I shifted my book bag nervously onto my shoulder before the sound of feet running to the door could be heard. A second later, the door was carefully opened a few inches. I had to look down to make eye contact with the little face framed with dark, wavy hair. I forced a bright smile onto my face. “Hi, Emily. Is your brother Jason home?”
Emily looked at me as if she thought I was an idiot. “He’s lying on the couch. He can’t go anywhere ’cause his knee is hurt.”
“Yes, I know. Do you think I could come in and see him?”
Emily frowned and refused to open the door any wider. “How do you know my name?”
“I met you and your family at the hospital on Monday.”
Emily thought this over for a moment before giving me a smile of her own. “Oh, yeah, I remember you now. You’re Kathy.”
I smiled back, impressed that she’d remembered my name. “Yes,
I am.”
The door swung open wide. “Come on in. I’ll show you where Jason is.”
I followed Emily nervously down the hall, freaking out a little inside, wondering what Jason’s reaction would be to see me. In his house, of all places! But Emily shrieked my arrival to him before I could catch up with her down the hall and around a few corners to where Jason was lounging on a couch in a comfortable family room. A mean-looking brace was wrapped around his right leg, and a pair of metal crutches was propped conveniently near his head. Jason himself was wearing a priceless look of total surprise on his face.
Before either Jason or I could say a word, Emily plopped herself down on the couch near Jason. “Can I go ride my bike now?”
Jason turned from me to his sister. “Not until someone who can walk without crutches comes home.”
“Why?”
“Because you’re a speed racer, so someone needs to be around in case you crash!”
“I don’t crash!”
“Well, you don’t watch for cars very well.”
“Yes I do! I’ll be careful—I promise!”
“Tell your story to Adam when he gets home. I can’t chase you down if something happens. Besides—you need to practice your piano lesson. So—why don’t you go down the hall and wow us with your expertise.”
Emily glumly stood up from the couch and walked slowly out of the room with her head down. I couldn’t help smiling at her melodramatics as I watched her sad retreat down the hall.
“So—Kathy—what are you doing here?”
I turned back to face Jason and plowed straight ahead before my nerves caused me to turn tail and run for the front door. “Bringing your Honors English homework assignment, what else?” I casually reached into my book bag for a copy of our textbook and tossed it lightly into his hands. “Lucky for you, Mrs. Dubois had a couple extra copies in her classroom.”
Jason looked stunned. “Thanks—I guess.”
I grinned. “You’re welcome—‘I guess.’”
“Sorry—I guess I’m just surprised you’d go out of your way to bring me my homework.”
I shrugged my book bag off my shoulder and welcomed myself to a chair near the couch. “I didn’t bring your homework. I only brought your Honors English assignment. It’s what an English tutor is supposed to do.” I did my best to act casual, but the way Jason stared at me made my heart drum again.
“An English tutor?”
“Yeah. That’s what you signed up for me to do, isn’t it? Tutor you in English?”
“But I thought—”
“Yeah, well, whatever you thought isn’t the case anymore.”
Jason rais
ed an eyebrow. “Don’t tell me you feel sorry for me?”
I laughed. “Sorry for you? Of course I feel sorry for you. Anyone who sees that knee of yours is bound to feel sorry for you. However, I happen to feel more than just sorry for you.”
Jason raised both eyebrows in an interested sort of way while a grin spread all over his face, and he leaned forward on the couch. “Really? What else do you feel about me?”
I raised my own eyebrows in response. “Guilt, actually.”
His grin disappeared. “Guilt?”
“Yeah. I agreed to be your tutor, and then I flaked out on you. Then, thanks to me, you nearly destroyed your knee.” I grinned and shrugged. “I figure the least I can do is finish my term as your tutor, and the least you can do is let me tutor you so I can get rid of my guilty conscience.”
Jason rolled his eyes and sat back against the couch. “You know that was the drugs talking—that day in the hospital. It’s not your fault at all.”
“I don’t know about that. I think I jinxed you for sure.”
“Nah—not even.” Jason sighed before looking my way again. “Don’t get me wrong—I appreciate what you’re trying to do for me here, but it’s pointless now.”
“Pointless?”
Jason nodded and ran his hand through his hair. “Yeah—I asked you to tutor me so I’d be able to stay on the football team. Well, I’m obviously out for the rest of the season, so what does it matter what my grade is now?”
Jason—quit and give up? I snatched the nearest decorative couch pillow and threw it at his startled face. “What does it matter? Don’t pull a dumb jock move on me here! You know your knee will eventually get better—your grades need to be on top so once you make the team, you’ll have no trouble staying on through the whole season!”
Jason laughed and tossed the pillow back at me. “I didn’t think you cared about football.”
I caught the pillow before it hit my face. “I don’t, but I know you do. Your knee isn’t the only thing that’s going to need to be in shape for you to make the team.” I did my best to act and sound as professionally tutorish as possible. “Besides—I thought you wanted a shot at the AP English test. And there’s my teaching reputation to consider. You’re the first person I’ve ever tutored. I’m not about to stand by and watch my first student fail. Not when you’ve been doing so well.”
“You really think I’m doing okay in English?”
“More than okay. Honors English hasn’t been the same without you.”
“Really!”
I shrugged and tried to make my voice light. “I admit the class has been pretty stale this week. And I’d be lying if I said I didn’t miss your always interesting remarks in class.”
“That’s me. Always full of interesting remarks.” Jason folded his arms with a much too pleased look on his face.
“Careful or your head will get as big as your knee was.”
Jason laughed and tried to reach for the pillow, but I quickly snatched it myself before he turned serious again. “Look, Kathy, thanks for wanting to help me, but it’s not going to work.”
I frowned. “Why not?” Then as I looked at his serious face, a horrifying thought slashed into my brain. Good grief—how stupid could I be? “Oh, wait—I see—” My words tripped all over my tongue, and I was wishing I was anywhere but here. “You don’t want my help—?”
Jason’s eyes grew a few sizes. “No—no! It’s not that—It’s just that I have physical therapy during study hour now.”
I was glad he couldn’t feel my relief or hear my heart beating faster again. “Then I’ll just come over after school. What time would work for you?”
Jason raised an eyebrow again. “After school? Are you sure?”
“I wouldn’t have suggested it if I wasn’t.”
Jason nodded and thought for a moment. “Well, since I can’t practice with the team anymore, that frees up my afternoon, so I guess maybe around four, if that works for you?”
“That should be fine.” Jason nodded again and then winced and grunted as he moved his right leg to position his knee better. I couldn’t help wincing along with him.
“I’m sorry—you’re probably not up to having people come barging over uninvited into your house. And I didn’t even ask you how your surgery went—how rude can I be!”
“No big deal. I’m fine. And the surgery went great, of course. I knew it would.”
I raised my eyebrows. “You knew? How did you know?”
Jason smiled. “Because I have faith.”
I sighed. “Faith again, huh?”
“Yes, faith,” Jason insisted, nodding his head. “I had faith that everything was going to go great. Especially after I had a blessing. That was pretty amazing.” Jason looked at me intently. “You were there. Do you remember that?”
I nodded and looked down at my hands. “Yeah, I remember,” I said softly.
Jason replied just as softly. “I felt really calm and peaceful about everything—I just knew everything would go okay. And it did.” Silence reigned before he ventured to speak again. “You felt something that day, Kathy, didn’t you?”
I looked up and tried to pretend I had no idea what he was talking about. “Felt something? What do you mean?”
Jason shook his head. “I saw it in your face that you felt something. Will you—I mean, would you like to—tell me about what you felt?”
I wasn’t sure what to say, but there was something about the look on Jason’s face that made me believe I could tell him. Although I could only manage a few hesitant words at first, before long, I was trying to explain the powerful experience I’d had that day. When I finished, I felt true relief that I could finally talk about it with someone. And I knew beyond a doubt that wanting to help Jason in Honors English again wasn’t the only reason I’d had to see him and talk to him.
When I finished, Jason quietly said, “That’s how I feel, too, whenever I feel the Spirit.”
I frowned. “I—I don’t know—I don’t know what you mean by ‘the Spirit.’”
Jason sighed and leaned back against the couch. “It’s hard to explain something you feel.” Jason frowned for a moment before turning to me again. “The Spirit is one of the ways God—our Heavenly Father—uses to communicate with us. Spirit to spirit. By the power and witness of the Spirit, we feel when something is true in our hearts, and then we can understand it in our minds. Feeling is a much more powerful, pure way of reaching a person’s soul than words could ever be.”
I was stunned. I truly could not think of anything to say. But there was one question his words had brought to my mind. I decided to dare voice it now. “Why do you believe that God wants to talk to us?”
Jason smiled. “Because we’re His children and He loves us. He wants us to come back to live with Him forever. The Spirit testifies of truth to our spirits—truths that can lead us back to Him.” Jason paused to look at me seriously. “But it’s up to us to choose to follow.”
~
April 18
Dear Kitty,
I love being back in school, but at the same time, I miss you. Alex caught me worrying at play rehearsal after school the other day and said, “What’s wrong? Don’t you trust Mom to take good care of her?” I can’t help it—I worry about you!
The play’s coming along great. I think it’s going to be one of the best shows this school has ever done. Sam’s doing an awesome job as Princess Winnifred (she has no problem at all “pretending” to be royalty), and Alex makes a great Sir Harry. He loves being a knight. As for me, since my character is under a curse that keeps him from talking, I get to do crazy things like pinching all of the ladies-in-waiting when I walk by them, so I’m happy.
You can roll around all over the place now—I almost regret helping you learn so fast! And you smile all the time—basically for anyone who makes you happy, but Mom says you smile the biggest when I get home from play rehearsal, so I look forward to that smile when I’m on my way home.
Kelly came over today after play rehearsal thinking he was the hottest guy on earth, because he got his driver’s license. I called Mom at work and asked her if it’d be okay if Kelly drove us to the park, and of course, she said no. She asked if Kelly’s been tiring me with his religion talk, and I told her no, which is true. Talking with Kelly about religion doesn’t tire me out at all. Besides—what she doesn’t know won’t hurt her, right? You loved the park, and although Kelly wasn’t thrilled about taking a baby along, I think he had fun, too. He even took our picture while we sat under a tree together.
You’ve been crying and fussing a lot lately. Mom thinks you may be cutting a tooth, and she was right. Kelly called later on that night while I was trying to get some homework done and keep you happy at the same time. You were gnawing away on my finger while I held you on my lap, and I don’t know who jumped the highest out of the three of us when I felt your tooth bite my finger. So now you have your first tooth. We might even be able to see it in the picture Kelly took today at the park . . .
April 22
Dear Kitty,
This is definitely my month. My birthday’s coming up, so I’ve been practicing my driving a ton. I know I’m a better driver than Kelly. No question there. School’s going great, too. I’ve been studying my brains out. Matt still checks up on me and proofs my papers, so I’ve got to get a decent report card at the end of term.
I went with Mom today to the hospital for your six-month checkup and my own checkup. She let me drive the car, so that fact and my “thumbs up” checkup made it a good day, but once we got inside, my day went from good to great. Rounding the last corner to your doctor’s office, there she was—Jennifer. Every time I see her I go crazy inside. She smiled when she saw me. Us, I should say. I didn’t realize what a magnet babies are to girls. She hurried right over and made a big deal over you. I was worried you might freak out over a stranger, but you were happy to smile at all of her baby talking and googling. Mom couldn’t stop grinning while I did the intros between her and Jennifer. I know I’m in for some major teasing now, but Jennifer’s worth it. She was about to take a break, so I handed you over to Mom for your appointment, and then Jennifer and I headed to the cafeteria and had some colas and talked. I told her all about the play, and she asked when it was going to be performed. I don’t know if I can explain what it’s like talking with someone you like a lot. Maybe too much. Nerve wracking. She didn’t seem nervous to be talking to me, though. Lucky for me, I actually made her laugh, and the conversation flowed between us pretty easily.
The Secret Journal of Brett Colton Page 14
