by Jess Bryant
“Yo, Colt, I was thinkin’ about running by the…”
Remington Bomar stepped into view and slammed to a stop just outside the room. In another situation his reaction might have been comical. His eyes went wide as they swung around, quickly taking in the scene he’d stumbled onto. But it was Colt’s older brother and she was nowhere near comfortable enough around him to find this funny.
She barely knew the guy. He’d left town when they were still kids. He’d only shown back up a few weeks ago and everything she’d learned about him since pegged him as nothing but trouble. Jemma didn’t like him. Cash didn’t trust him. Colt didn’t talk about him, never had, and Remy’s sudden reappearance in town and in their lives hadn’t changed that.
To her knowledge, the oldest Bomar brother was a real chip off the old block. Since Decker was that block, she’d always assumed he was pure evil like their father. Having actually met him recently, she wasn’t so sure that was the case. He looked like their father, all darkness where the twins’ features were light, but if he shared Decker’s vices of alcohol, women and violence she’d yet to see it.
Still, that didn’t mean she liked having his dark eyes drag over her in that knowing way and she fought a shudder. For the first time since she’d dressed this morning, she wished she’d put on more clothes. This outfit was the opposite of modest but that had been the point when she dressed to come see Colt.
Remy’s lips twitched when he met her gaze and she felt a flush warm her face before she dropped her head and stared at her lap. She tried to straighten her dress again but it was no use. Her lips felt swollen, her hair was a mess, her clothes were in disarray and she was blushing like a schoolgirl. There was no question whatsoever, Remy knew what he had walked in on.
“Oh, hey Skylar. I didn’t know you had an appointment.” He drawled.
She cleared her throat and tried for a smile, “It was kind of last minute.”
“Uh huh.” Remy’s dark blue gaze swung to his younger brother, “You need some help in here bro?”
Colt turned around slowly, standing up to his full height. His hands fisted at his sides and Skylar felt a rush of alarm run along her spine. She’d never seen him in fight mode but something told her it looked a lot like this. Shoulders back, jaw clenched, death in his eyes and the threat of menace radiating off of him.
“No.” He ground out.
“I was just sayin’ I could…”
“So much as look at her again and you die.”
“Colt!” Skylar gasped at the blatant threat but Remy only chuckled.
“Ya know, I had a feelin’ you were gonna be just as possessive as your twin.” He winked and held his hands up in a faux innocent gesture, “Next time you want to get kinky in your chair, maybe put a sock on the door or…”
“Fuck off Remy.” Colt growled.
“Yeah, yeah.” He snorted, “I’ll be in the back so do me a favor and finish this some other time.”
She bit her lip when Remy’s footsteps faded away. The room was painfully silent and tension filled every free space. She didn’t know what to say, wasn’t sure how to get them back to where they’d been before the interruption. Then she remembered that despite that life-changing kiss, Colt had started pulling away from her before Remy walked into the room.
He’d already started to withdraw and as she forced her gaze up, she felt her heart stutter in her chest. He hadn’t moved from his spot on the other side of the room. His shoulders were back, tense, and his hands were still fisted. He was still expecting a fight.
“Colt?” She tested the waters gently but he didn’t budge so she went the other way and decided to jump in, “Please don’t try to convince me that was a mistake.”
He ran a hand through his tousled hair but didn’t say anything. He still hadn’t looked at her. She didn’t have a clue what was going on in his head.
“Colt…”
“It was just a kiss, Skylar.” He gave a mocking snort and finally glanced up. “No reason to get all worked up. It was bound to happen sooner or later and now that it has we can move on. It was a kiss. Nothing special.”
She heard his words. She heard him try to discredit what had just happened between them and maybe it shouldn’t have surprised her given their history, given that every single time he’d let her close he later shoved her away with both hands but it did. Because damn it, that hadn’t just been a kiss, and he knew it!
“Just a kiss?” She gaped at him as she sat up from the chair, “Just a kiss?” She heard her voice rise, knew she was venturing towards shrill and couldn’t manage to contain her irritation, “That was a hell of a lot more than a kiss!”
“No. It wasn’t.”
“Damn it! Don’t do this.”
“Don’t try to make it more than it was. It was a kiss.” His stoic stance faltered, “That’s all it can be.”
She’d already opened her mouth to yell at him some more but she stopped short when he flinched. Pain. It was there in the quiet undertones of his voice. In the dark recesses of his eyes. Colt was hurting and instead of fighting with him, all she wanted was to comfort him, even if she had no idea what was going on.
“What do you mean? Why can’t it be more than a kiss?”
“Sky…”
“Why can’t it be more than a kiss, Colt?”
“You should go now…”
“Why?” She raised her voice to cut him off and he surprised her by kicking his cart in response, sending his expensive tools flying and making her leap back out of the way.
“Because it’s all I can give you!” He yelled right back at her, “Whatever it is you want from me, I can’t give it to you. I’m not that guy. I’m not Cash and I don’t get a happy ending. You won’t either if you choose me so just go. The only way I can protect you is if you go. Now.”
Her world spun again and she shook her head, “No, I…”
“Damn it Skylar! Go!” He growled, knocking over more bottles with a swipe of his arm, “Get out of here! I can’t have you here right now. It’s not safe. Go!”
He was falling apart. She watched in horror as he destroyed his shop in front of her very eyes. Everything he loved and held dear was crashing down around him. He was hurting and he was wreaking destruction on his shop instead of taking it out on her.
Tortured Colt wasn’t new to her but she’d never seen him so out of sorts. All she wanted was to reach out and touch him. Hold him. Try to figure out a way to make it okay. Whatever reason he had for pushing her away, it wasn’t her boyfriend, she realized. That had been her barrier but he had plenty of others and they were bigger and would be much harder to scale because she didn’t know what they were.
But now wasn’t the time for that.
He only needed one thing from her right now. He needed her to leave. He needed her to give him some time. So as much as she hated it… that was what she had to do.
She pushed out of the chair and forced her legs not to move towards him, “Okay. I’m going but you should know I’m not going far. I’m not giving up on this or you.”
He didn’t turn back around. He didn’t look at her. He didn’t even acknowledge her and she bit her lip to keep from saying more. To keep from saying things he wasn’t ready to hear.
She tried to keep her own emotions under control as she turned to leave. She grabbed her purse from where she’d dropped it and looped it over her shoulder. She’d almost made it to the door when his dark voice stopped her.
“Damn it, put a bandage on your leg before you go.” He barked, “You know better than to go walking out of here with a new tattoo uncovered.”
She might have laughed at his sudden demand in another situation, “You’re the professional. If you’re so worried about it, you do it.”
“Bad idea Sky. I’m not touching you again.” He growled as he ripped a clean bandage off the counter and brought it over to her, “Not ever again.”
“Told you that you were a liar.” She jerked the bandage out of his
hand.
“Cover up the damn tattoo and get your ass out of here before I change my mind and do something we’ll both regret.”
“Promise you’ll finish the tattoo and I’ll go.”
He sighed heavily but nodded, “I’ll finish it but not today. Nobody inks you but me.”
She fought a smile at his possessiveness, “I thought you said you weren’t going to touch me ever again?”
“Nobody inks you but me, angel. Nobody. You let anyone else near you with a needle and I’ll remove their fuckin’ hands.” He stepped towards her, back into her personal space and met her gaze with a hard stare, “You hear me?”
As far as reassurances went, it wasn’t much. Still, it meant the world to her. He might be pushing her away but he still couldn’t handle the thought of another man putting ink on her body. It was his canvas. She was his even if he refused to claim her.
“Nobody but you.” She nodded her agreement.
His eyes studied her face for a long moment and then he surprised her again because he reached out and gently cupped her cheek. He stroked his thumb over her bottom lip and his eyes followed the motion. She didn’t move, barely even breathed as the sparks between them flared all over again. When his eyes met hers, she could see that he felt it too.
He groaned, “Goddamnit, when you look at me like that...”
“Like what?”
“You make me want to be better.” He muttered softly, “A better man would let you go so that’s what I’m tryin’ to do.”
“I don’t…” She started but he kissed her then, stopping her protest.
He didn’t jerk her towards him. He didn’t slam his mouth to hers this time. He didn’t attack or overwhelm her. Instead, he moved into her, cupping her face and holding her gently as he slowly pressed his lips against hers. It was a soft kiss, so at odds with the violence and anger and pain of only minutes ago. He kissed her this time as if he wanted it to linger and last forever and when he pulled back she wasn’t sure even forever would have been long enough.
Colt dropped his hands and stepped away, “Goodbye Skylar.”
It sounded all wrong. Felt all wrong. And she refused to play along. That kiss had felt different because he’d intended it as a goodbye but it wasn’t. This wasn’t the end. It was only the beginning.
She shook her head, “I’ll see you later Colt.”
Chapter Nine
He’d been fighting with himself for hours. Ever since he tripped over that line in the sand he’d drawn and gone tumbling down the rabbit hole. Ever since he’d done the right thing and forced himself to push Skylar away again, to send her away again. He’d been fighting with himself, with the demons that haunted his every dark shadow, and for the first time in his life he was losing.
He’d already crossed the line. He’d kissed her. He’d touched her. He could have had her right there in his chair.
He’d known for a while now that Skylar wanted him the same way he wanted her. He’d known that they would be good together. Their chemistry was too good not to be explosive. But the moment he’d touched her, she’d reacted with even more fire and desire than he’d ever imagined she would.
He’d barely been able to keep himself under control before. Now he had the memory of Skylar’s taste, the sound of her moans, the feel of her hands on him to drive him mad. He still wasn’t sure how he had kept himself from taking her right then and there.
He couldn’t imagine not kissing her again. Not touching her again. It was a bad idea. Terrible really. But he couldn’t seem to wrap his head around walking away from her without ever really having her. He wanted her. She wanted him. And he wasn’t a good man, not good enough for her, not nearly good enough to walk away from her.
That was why, instead of doing the right thing and going home, he found himself marching to her door the second he got off work. He’d spent hours trying to convince himself not to do what he was about to do, but he’d lost the fight. If he was going to hell, he wouldn’t drag his angel down with him but he would have her, just this once, so he could always remember her light in the darkness.
Colt took a deep breath for courage as he raised his hand and banged on her door. He had his speech all prepared. He would apologize for yelling at her earlier. She hadn’t deserved that. He was the one fighting what he felt and that wasn’t her fault. He would explain, calmly and rationally, why it was a bad idea for them to get involved. He couldn’t offer her anything more than…
The door flew open, framing Skylar in the glow of the yellow porchlight and words deserted him. She was barefoot, still in nothing but that sexy white dress, and everything he’d prepared himself to say evaporated. Gone. Just like that. One look at her and the entire world disappeared right along with all of his reasoning and the last vestiges of his sanity.
“Colt?”
Her voice drew his attention to her mouth. That sweet, pouty mouth that he now knew was just as soft as it looked. The mouth that tasted like heaven but would be his ultimate downfall. Because the second he registered that mouth saying his name again in that breathy voice he knew she was right.
He was a liar. One would never be enough. Because once would always leave him wanting one more with her.
“Colt, what are you doin…”
He never gave her a chance to finish her question. He was moving before the words left her lips. He moved into her with one step, cupped her face and swallowed the last syllable when he pressed his mouth to hers.
It was a bad idea. Kissing Skylar again was an even worse idea than coming here had been. Because her taste exploded something inside of him and sent all of his walls crashing down. And when she let out a small squeak of surprise as he pushed his tongue past her parted lips, he knew that walking away from her now would be the hardest thing he’d ever done.
Maybe it shouldn’t have surprised him how fast she recovered from his bold move. Shouldn’t have shocked him when she wrapped her arms around him instead of pushing him away. Shouldn’t have destroyed him when her hot, wet tongue stroked eagerly against his but her willing welcome did.
No matter how many times he pushed her away, was rude and crude and downright mean to her, she always let him back in. And he didn’t deserve it. Not one bit of her kindness or goodness, but God he wanted it, needed it.
He was so lost in her drugging kiss he barely noticed when Skylar’s hands left his neck and began moving over him. Around and down his chest, she found the bottom of his t-shirt and he only jolted back to reality when her nails scored his abdomen. She was pushing his shirt up, trying to get his clothes off, and they were still standing in the open doorway.
The move forced him into action and he was crowding her back into the apartment even as he released her face to tug her against him. In a matter of moments he had the door kicked shut and he pivoted, pinning Skylar against the hard surface. He was panting, struggling for control, and looking down at her did nothing to help steady him.
Her lips were swollen again. Pink and full and pouting for more of his rough kisses. Her cheeks were flushed and she was sucking in air as well, her chest heaving with the effort. Her blue eyes were glazed, heavy with desire, but it was the disappointment that flashed in them that kept him from moving away from her like he’d been intending.
That was what she expected of him. He’d touched her, again. He’d kissed her, again. And she expected him to lash out at her for it, again.
Only he couldn’t bring himself to do it. Not this time. So he made sure to keep his eyes on her, so she could see what he was doing, even as he lowered his mouth back to hers and pressed a soft, gentle kiss to her lips.
“One night.” He whispered.
“What?” Skylar’s eyes searched his face.
“I can’t give you what you deserve, but I can give you this. One night.”
He saw it the moment his words sank it. The disappointment was still there along with a jumble of other emotions that threatened to break him apart. He could see her desire
and longing battling with her hurt and he had a sinking feeling that he was losing her so he pressed his advantage while he still had it.
“I want you, Sky.” He admitted as he let his hips fall and rubbed their lower bodies together, “You asked me to admit that we’re more than friends. I don’t know what we are but this is me admitting that I want you. I want to feel you, every inch of you. It’s all I fuckin’ think about all the damn time.”
She sucked in a gulp of air and a soft moan escaped her lips when he pressed his erection against her. Colt planted more kisses across her jaw and her head fell back against the door. He risked a glance up to see she’d closed her eyes. She wasn’t shoving him off but she wasn’t saying yes either so he kept talking.
He was good at talking. Always had been. Good at distracting people from what he didn’t want them to see by using pretty words or mean words or simply loud words. He talked and he lied and he bullshitted but this time, with Skylar, he simply told the truth.
“Touching you, really touching you, I don’t know that I’ll ever be able to come back from it but I need to hear you moan my name as I sink inside you. I need to feel you come apart in my arms. Say yes and I’ll make it so good for you, angel. I promise you won’t regret it if you give me one night.”
Skylar’s fingers were in his hair a moment later, rough and desperate. He groaned at the sensation as she tugged his head back. Her eyes weren’t closed anymore when he met her gaze. There was still hurt there but there was something else too, something he couldn’t name, something that made his breath catch in his chest before she nodded slightly.
“Yes.”
He dropped his forehead against hers, “Yes?”
“Yes.” She whispered against his lips, “I want you too. I need you, Colt. Please touch me.”
The swell of emotions in his chest made more words impossible so he did the only thing he could. He kissed her again. Not a rough, spontaneous kiss this time. It was so much more than that. Skylar’s tongue twined with his and he felt it for what it was.
