* * *
“Java Java opened five minutes ago. Caffeine rush on me this morning?” The crack in Lia’s voice broke me from my thoughts. Little pieces of her wild hair still covered her temple, and big, sleepy, haunted-looking eyes blinked at me.
“Nah, I’m good.” I cleared my throat.
She might have been seducing me with coffee, but I wasn’t gonna be swayed. Something had happened last night to land her in jail, and I needed to know what. Most of all, I needed to know if she was okay.
“You good? Wanna talk about anything?” I pulled into the parking lot of her apartment complex a minute later.
“You’re not really going to turn down my mocha, are you, Maxwell?”
“I am.” I gritted my teeth, hating how she ignored my question. Once I shoved the car into Park, I turned to face her, still clutching the wheel. “Now tell me: Are. You. Good?
She rolled her eyes. “Jeez. You’re really pissed that you lost your morning BJ, aren’t you?”
“Damn it, no. I just picked you up from County. Sex is the last thing on my mind right now.”
She huffed. “You don’t have to be such an ass. Take a joke. I’m fine.” A shrug. “Just got into a little trouble is all.”
I squeezed my eyes shut, white-knuckling the wheel. “Yeah, sure, a little trouble.” I shook my head. “Just…go inside, would you? Sleep off whatever issues you’re dealing with.”
She snort-laughed. “Whatever. Thanks for the loan. We’ll talk repayment later.” She reached to open her door, but I locked it, not willing to let her go just yet.
“That came out wrong. I’m sorry,” I said.
She focused on the roof. “If you ask me, you’ve been spending too much time with Collin. I already have one controlling big brother. I don’t need another.”
“Maybe he’s not enough anymore if you’re getting yourself locked up. Maybe you need to talk to someone again. I know this doc who—”
“No, damn it.” She clamped her eyes shut and groaned. “I don’t need another doctor, and I sure as hell don’t need an additional brother.”
My gut grew tight, my hands wet against the wheel. I dropped them to my jeans and rubbed both back and forth as I tried to gather my words. The last thing I wanted to do was hurt her feelings—hurt her. But when you’re in love with the one person you know you can’t have, you don’t put yourself through the pain of being with them when you don’t have to be. That’s why I said what I did next.
“Fine. But we’re not through talking about this.”
She didn’t move this time. Instead, she turned to study me. Sad blue eyes worked over my face as she said, “It’s going to be like this for us now, isn’t it?”
“Like what?” I asked, though I knew exactly what she meant.
“You pushing me away, me drawing you back in…”
“I don’t know how things are with us anymore, Lia.” Other than the fact that I wanted her in all the ways I shouldn’t.
For the forty-millionth time, I had to remind myself I couldn’t go there. This was Collin’s little sister, the girl with issues who’d probably never fully dealt with them. I’m guessing that was why she was working in some nasty dive bar, living in a shit-hole apartment at the age of twenty-five, and making decisions that had her losing herself along the way.
Not that I was the king of moral standards.
“All right then, glad we got that settled.” She plastered on a fake smile, looking past me, not at me. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to grab an Uber, get my car from Jimney’s, then go to Java Java’s for some tea.”
She reached for the lock this time, but I clicked it shut again. “No.”
“No?”
I nodded once, wordless again. I’ve used sarcasm to make it through life for years. Doing the serious thing wasn’t something I had down pat yet.
She rolled her eyes to the heavens, a nasty smirk on her lips. “Jesus, Max, when did you turn into such a bossy—”
“Adult?”
“No, I was going to say asshole. Adult implies you understand that I want Java Java’s and will do and say whatever I want to get it.” She flicked open the door lock, but I locked it once more.
God, I was a pussy.
“Unlock the door, Max.”
“Not ’til you talk to me.” I swallowed. “Tell me what happened to you last night.” Then I whispered in a last-ditch effort, “Please, Lee-Lee. You’re scarin’ me.”
She blew out a breath and leaned back against the seat. “I don’t want to talk about it.”
“Why?”
“Because it’s none of your business, that’s why.”
I flinched, the meaning of her words cutting deep.
She didn’t want me in her life anymore.
She was cutting me off, just like I’d done with her.
I’d messed up by pushing her away these last few months. But I’d do anything to turn back the clock. To the time before I’d decided that being away from her—and serial screwing a bunch of women—was better than being with her as a friend but wanting no other woman except her.
I missed her. I missed us. The way we’d once hung out, drunk beers, watched cheesy talk shows, and done a little innocent flirting when we could. It was safe then. Fun. Nothing like how I felt now. Like I’d die if I didn’t get to kiss her lips, hold her hand, make her mine.
The whole Absence makes the heart grow fonder bullshit was damn painful—and true.
“I deserve to know, Lia.” No, I didn’t deserve to know. But I was gonna do or say whatever I could because that’s what a brother would do. “Especially since I’m the one who just bailed you out.”
She laughed, the sound bitter. “Just because I’m indebted to you financially doesn’t mean you deserve to know what’s going on in my life. You’ve barely looked my direction the past two months. What gives you the right to go all family on me now?”
Fuck. Me.
I deserved that. Every bit of her tongue-lashing. But I couldn’t tell her the truth about why I’d put distance between us. Not when it might ruin everything that was good in my life.
When I didn’t answer, she sank lower in her seat and kicked her feet on the dash. “Fine. If you really want to know, then here you go. Travis—”
“Is he messing with you?” I stiffened. I’d kill the guy if he was hurting her. Then Collin and Gavin would bring him back to life to do it all over again. “I swear to God, Lia, if he hurt you—”
“No. He didn’t hurt me.” Her gaze flickered toward the window. A sure sign she was lying to me. “At least not physically.”
I dug my nails into my palms and growled, “Tell me what he did.”
Normally I didn’t have a temper. Most of the time I prided myself on staying calm, keeping my head clear, and looking at all sides of things before passing judgment. But when it involved Lia and this rat bastard, everything was fair game.
“Travis and another girl happened, so I got pissed. Slugged him in the nose. He filed charges, end of story.”
I cringed. “He’s a piece of trash. I’m so sorry he—”
“Don’t.” Her lips flattened, and she pressed her hand against her throat. Her gaze was like a sliver of ice shooting through the windshield. “I’m fine with it.”
I stared at my lap, my jaw clenched. If that punk were here now, there was no doubt I’d shove my fist against his face too. Lia deserved the universe, not dickheads like Travis.
“I should’ve been there,” I whispered, more to myself than to her.
“I handled it fine.”
I shook my head. “You call getting arrested fine?”
Lia was tough—another thing that drew me to her. She’d taken up boxing for fun, had taken self-defense courses at the gym, and also did yoga on top of that. I’d always known she could prot
ect herself, but I still worried about her. Likely always would.
“What else was I supposed to do?” she asked.
“I don’t know… Maybe you could’ve called me, or Collin even? Hell, Gav would’ve messed him up for you in a heartbeat. Travis has been on our hit list since the day you hooked up with him.” Mine more than anyone else’s, but I had my selfish reasons for that. Travis was a punk, piece-of-shit Brit with no job and no direction.
Again, not that I was one to talk life direction or jobs.
I’d worked construction for a good three months right after I got out of the marines. Even worked a few weeks at the Gap during the weekends. ’Course neither of those positions panned out. Hell, I barely kept a job more than two to three months at a time. Nowadays, I jumped from restaurant to restaurant, moving from fill-in chef to waiter to host. It was all mundane work that didn’t keep me satisfied.
I wanted more outta life. I just didn’t have a clue what that more was. My indecision had a lot to do with the fact that my father had died and dropped a lump sum of money into my bank account fifteen months ago so I didn’t have to work if I didn’t want to. I wasn’t lazy, more taking my time until I figured out what I wanted to do.
“Please.” She scoffed. “If I did that, then you might as well strap a collar around my neck and call me a dog. I deal with all my own issues. I don’t need a man for that.”
Unable to help myself, I moved in closer. “Lia…” I tipped her chin up and pulled her face toward mine. She didn’t flinch or pull away this time, but my hand tingled where it touched her skin, and I quickly yanked it back. Limits, Martinez. Set ’em.
The urges were growing harder to avoid every time I saw her. More than anything, I wanted to keep my fingers on her skin, trail them over her cheek, her neck, across the curves that I’d never allow my fingers to touch…
“I’m so sorry that he fucked you over, Lee-Lee.” I cleared my throat. “But at least now you know, right? We’ve always told you he was no good for you.”
Her dark brows furrowed in thought. When she didn’t say much else, I asked, “Wanna talk some more?”
Innocence lit her eyes as she looked at me. I swallowed hard, taken aback by the honesty in her usually guarded face.
“No,” she finally said, that look slipping away. “But I am gonna be a good little girl now and go to sleep like you asked.” She leaned over and poked my bicep. “Thinking I might even have some tea inside.”
“Forget about an Uber. We’ll get your car later, yeah?”
“Sure.”
“Then run along inside.” I leaned back against my seat again, gripping the steering wheel. “And shower too, because you smell like a liquor store.” No, she smelled like roses. Always roses. “And if you listen to what I say, then maybe I’ll keep this a secret between us.”
“You’re kidding, right?” She glared at me.
I winked. “I don’t kid.”
“You used to.” A strange look passed over her face, one I didn’t recognize, just before her hand shot toward the door handle again. This time, she got it unlocked and shoved open. She slid out, only to slam the door with the sole of her bare foot.
I watched her go, my jaw tight with regret.
I didn’t even get to say goodbye.
Chapter 3
Lia
“You’re daydreaming again.” Ruby Pearl, the daughter of Betty, Java Java Hut’s owner, poked me with her wooden coffee stirrer.
I stared at the extra-sparkly linoleum top I’d been cleaning for the past five minutes and frowned. My job as a barista on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday mornings wasn’t something I could give up, but at the rate I’d been going today, I wouldn’t be surprised if I were fired due to straight-up distractibility.
“Sorry.” I leaned my hip against the counter. “Just been a long week, is all.” And it was only halfway over.
“What’s up? I’m all ears.” She sat across from me, frowning.
“Not much to talk about.” That she wanted to hear about at least.
All those months of saving and busting my butt at Jimney’s, and I was still short the last of my tuition—a thousand dollars short, actually. Talk about a crap storm of epic proportions. I thought I had this behind me, that I was finally getting ahead, that I could quit that hellish bartending job and find a worthwhile career. Then just before noon Saturday, I’d gotten the call saying that my last tuition payment wasn’t enough, and that they wouldn’t send me my diploma until I covered the remaining costs. Add in the hellishness of what had happened the night before, and I’d say I had good reason to be distracted.
“See, that’s where I think you’re wrong.” She tucked her corkscrew curls behind her ears and patted my arm. Not only did she wear the hell out of a curly, femme-fatale mullet, but she consistently matched the style with one of her seven pairs of denim overalls. “It’s an M&M situation, isn’t it?”
“M&M?” I fumbled through the giant box of tea bags I’d organized an hour ago, needing to keep my hands busy.
“Yeah, men and money. Those are the two things women worry the most about, ain’t they?”
My nose scrunched, yet the need to spill my guts was there on the tip of my tongue. Maybe I would feel better if I talked to someone. But did I really want my boss’s daughter to be my therapist?
“Not necessarily. Most of the time, the root of all evil lies within yourself, not with the people around you.”
Fingernails drummed against the linoleum, and Ruby Pearl hummed to herself for a good ten seconds before she replied. “When my husband, Davey, was still alive, my life was a living, breathing hell. Mainly because Davey had a drinking problem and stole all my money for gambling.” She tsked. “Talk about M&M issues.”
I puckered my lips, because saying “Sorry for your loss” did not seem appropriate to a situation like Ruby’s. Then again, what did I know about marriage, other than the fact that fifty percent of them ended in divorce?
“Anyway, once I got the life insurance check after he passed, my life took a turn for the better…”
“Oh yeah?” I cleared my throat, having even less of a clue how to respond this time. Once the tea bags were settled, I moved down the line.
“…and the only time I was happy with Davey was when he took me to the…”
I turned on the coffee-bean grinder and nodded as she spoke. I really liked Ruby Pearl, but her long-winded stories tended to make absolutely no sense. Still, the man part of her M&M scenario? There was some merit to it right now.
Travis was an aching throb in my side that wouldn’t quit. He’d been calling nonstop since Sunday afternoon. He’d dropped the assault charges, saying he understood why I did what I did. Even after I told him I wanted nothing do with him, he kept calling—three nonstop days of endless voicemails on a loop, all begging for another chance that wouldn’t happen.
Apologies only went so far when it came to messing up like he had.
Still, the two of us had been together for nearly five months, and I did miss his company. More so the constant of having someone around. Without him, I was alone again, and being alone gave me too much time to think about things I couldn’t control.
For instance, Maxwell.
Like someone had flipped a switch, his face was all I could see. The guy was like an earworm I couldn’t shake, no matter how hard I tried a new tune.
Max used to come in and get coffee every morning I worked at Java Java’s. He’d flirt with Betty a little too, even offer to take the garbage out so neither of us had to do the dirty work. But he’d made himself scarce since I began dating Travis, something that hadn’t gone unnoticed by Ruby and Betty.
In the delusional part of my mind, I wondered if he’d put distance between us because he was jealous of my new relationship. Then all I had to do was remember that he was Max Martinez, the serial dater who wan
ted nothing to do with me or any woman past a first date. He was also why I’d started dating Travis—as a way to curb the growing feelings he stirred up in me. I’d been crushing on the guy for years, and if anything, the wall he’d put between us had only made my longing for him worse. Plus, he’d always treated me like a little sister, and I hated that most of all.
I switched off the coffee grinder.
“…so what I’m saying is, you should become a lesbian.”
I coughed, hiding my shocked laughter. “But then wouldn’t it just be W&M instead? Because I’m pretty sure that no matter who you date, there’s always going to be hell to get through.”
“Oh, sweetie.” Ruby moved around the counter, her eyes soft, her face flushed with exertion from just that simple move. “You’re better off alone anyway. Trust me.”
In the blink of an eye, she wrapped her arms around my waist and held me against her sweaty chest. I cringed. This was so not what I needed today.
“I think that’s why I was never happy with my marriage, ya know? Nobody ever made me feel that spark.” She petted the back of my hair, like a mother to a daughter. The scent of her perfume, with the underlying scent of raw meat, smacked me in the face. I cringed, holding my breath.
Dear, sweet Jesus…
“Wish I was fifteen years younger. Then maybe I would’ve made better choices. Experienced more. Played the field even.”
Patting her shoulder, I managed to slip out of her hold and smile in turn. Or grimace, was more like it. Thankfully, she didn’t seem to understand what my facial expression meant and moved toward the back of the shop, humming to herself.
Yeah. That wasn’t awkward or anything.
The small bell over the front door jingled, and the late-April wind blew into the café, causing goose bumps to form on my arms. A toddler’s squeal of joy sounded from the entrance and I smiled, already knowing who it was. Addie, my brother’s girlfriend, along with my adorable niece, Chloe, had come for their Wednesday morning visit.
The Right Kind of Reckless Page 2
