by Lund, S. E.
I threw my hands up in the air. It was no use trying to argue with her. I could tell she wasn't going to listen, no matter what I said. She'd made up her mind about me before she even met me. It was then I wondered if she hadn't been trying to undermine my relationship with Drake from the start, encouraging me to get my own life, keep busy, practically pushing me together with Sefton.
I sighed as she turned and walked away.
Then I saw Sefton standing alone by the bus where our luggage was being loaded. I stomped over to him and faced him, angry.
"What did you tell Claire?"
"The truth," he said, his hands his pockets. "That you and I have a lot in common, and not only our love of art."
"That's not the truth. The truth is that you tried to push yourself on me and I refused. Tell her that. She thinks there's something more between us."
"There is," he said, stepping closer to me, reaching out as if to touch me. I batted his hand away.
"Don't touch me," I said and glanced around. Of course, Claire was standing with a group of other people and saw us together. "Go and tell her the truth about what happened. Nothing. Tell her that there's nothing between us. She's going to tell Drake what she thinks she saw and it's going to cause so much unnecessary hurt."
"I told her nothing happened. I also told her that I wanted it to."
I stood and fumed, not knowing how to handle him. "Can't you understand that I don’t want you and won't ever want you? Especially if you let this lie stand and if you cause problems between Drake and me?"
"Never is a long time. But don't fret," he said and leaned down to me as if he was going to try to kiss me. I stepped back. He smiled. "I'll tell her that nothing happened. If your absentee boyfriend wants to hear it from me personally, I'll be glad to tell him. No harm done."
"You don't understand," I said, furious that he was brushing this off so lightly. "Claire has the wrong idea. She's concluded that Drake and I are wrong together and is using what she thinks she saw as a way to justify breaking us up."
"Maybe she's right about you two. Did you ever consider that?"
I shook my head. "Not for a moment. Tell her that you've pursued me and I've never shown any interest and have refused you. That's the truth."
"You're beautiful when you're angry," he said and once more, he tried to touch me so I turned away and left before any more damage was done. I stormed past Claire on my way to use the washroom once more before we left, tears of frustration and anger filling me.
I checked my cell while I was trying to regain my composure and still, there was nothing from Drake in reply to my texts. On the way back to the airport, I sat alone. Claire sat at the front of the bus and refused to even look at me. I didn't say anything to Sefton nor did he say anything to me. I was glad he studiously ignored me.
Besides the drawing of the elephants, the weekend had been a total disaster.
The flight home was uneventful. I was exhausted, and sat in the window seat on the plane, busy with my thoughts of our relationship. Yes, I would have to adjust to his busy schedule, but things would be better once we returned to Manhattan and Drake wasn't so swamped with work. Still, Sefton's words stung and his implication that I didn't matter enough to Drake for him to make time to come on the safari with me hurt even though I knew Sefton was wrong.
Drake would have loved to come but he couldn't. He'd made a commitment to the hospital and to Michael and had to follow through.
In fact, Sefton's words made me realize even more just how lucky I was to have Drake at all. He'd given up his usual MO to be with me. He'd mixed up his meat and potatoes to be with me. I had to make a few sacrifices, too. Maybe we wouldn’t be together as much as either of us might like, but he was an adult with responsibilities. He was in high demand because of his specialized skills. Patients with debilitating and life-threatening diseases and disorders needed him.
I was a big girl. I could wait.
Luckily, neither Sefton nor Claire tried to engage me in conversation. I was too tired and upset to try to be pleasant. I had a headache from the heat and probably dehydration, barely able to wait to get back to our home and soak in a bath. I couldn't wait to see Drake, lie in his arms and lose myself in his touch.
We arrived back at the small airport outside Nairobi and then were bused back into the city.
When I still hadn't hear from him, I decided I'd take a taxi to the hospital and meet him there, unable to wait until his shift was over so I could speak with him about what happened, try to fix things.
The driver dropped me off at home and I stowed my suitcase and checked my cell once more. Then I called Jomo to take me to the hospital. Drake might be in surgery, but I'd wait. Who knew what damage Claire was doing with her own texts. My only hope was that Drake hadn't read any of his texts or heard my phone messages and I could speak to him first.
The red brick building where Michael's and Drake's offices were located was surrounded by trees, and had a lovely central courtyard. My stomach was filled with knots as I walked up to the staff entrance and asked the woman at the information desk where Drake's office was located. I went down the hallways, past the Accident and Emergency Department to the corridors in the wing where the faculty were housed. Drake had promised to take me to the inner sanctum one day, but was waiting for a weekend when he was off to show me his office and the OR where he worked. I peeked into Michael's office but he wasn't there, nor was Drake in his office, which was down the hall from Michael's.
I checked in with one of the receptionists at the main office and asked if she knew where Dr. Morgan was currently.
"You can probably find him in the on-call room in the A&E Department."
I followed her down a maze of hallways, anxious to see Drake, hoping he wouldn't be upset that I came to the hospital, but I was desperate to speak with him, make sure he didn’t misunderstand what happened. We passed some nurses, who were sitting around a conference table and went to a small windowless room off the hallway. The receptionist opened the door and there sat Drake on a chair in front of a table, dressed in pale blue scrubs, his head forward, rubbing his neck as if it hurt. I was about to say something when someone else came into my field of vision.
Sam, dressed in similar blue scrubs.
She went up behind Drake and put her hands on his shoulders and then began massaging his neck, leaning down to say something in his ear. It looked so completely intimate, a rush of heat went through my body. I opened my mouth, but nothing came out but a strangled gasp.
The receptionist held her hand up to her mouth. "Oh," she said, her voice sounding a bit shocked. "Sorry to interrupt…" She turned to me and made a face, shrugging.
At that, Drake and Sam both turned towards us. While Drake was frowning, Sam's expression could only be one of triumph.
I hesitated for a moment and then turned on my heel and walked down the hallway. I didn't know what I saw but I didn't like it. Not after being away from Drake all weekend, not after what happened with Sefton and not after what I suspected Claire had said to Michael, and perhaps to Drake, about what she thought she saw in the tent. The thought that Drake had spent his time with Sam, and now appeared to be getting some kind of solace from her, made my stomach sick. There she was, with her hands on him, alone in a small room in the depths of the hospital.
It was too much for me to take.
Tears bit the corners of my eyes as I tried to find my way out of the hospital, re-tracing the way we'd come, but in truth, I had been far too focused on what I'd say to Drake to have noticed our path through the maze that was the hospital's corridors and I had no clue where I was.
I finally stopped at a bank of staff elevators and stood there, my fists clenched. I heard footsteps behind me and turned to see a pale-faced Drake rounding the corner.
"Kate," he said and grabbed hold of my arm. "Why did you leave? What's wrong?"
"You know very well what's wrong."
He frowned and shook his head. "It's not what yo
u think."
"Isn't that what everyone always says when caught in a compromising situation?" I swallowed past the constriction in my throat, remembering what happened between Sefton and me. "What, exactly, do you think I think?"
"Sometimes it really isn't what you think." He exhaled loudly. "You saw Sam trying to give me a neck rub because I have a headache. She offered, I refused then she insisted, but you probably didn’t see or hear that."
"No, I didn't," I said. "All I saw was you alone in the staff room with Sam, leaning your head forward, rubbing your neck, and her massaging your shoulders."
He took my arms in his hands, trying to catch my eye, but I kept looking away, afraid that I'd start to cry if we made eye contact.
"What you didn’t hear was that she offered to give me a neck massage when I complained of a headache because I was up all night. I said no, but she ignored me. I can't help that she did it anyway."
He took my face in his hands, cupping my cheeks. "Kate," he said, his voice soft, touched with pain. "It was nothing. Nothing happened. There's nothing between us."
I finally stopped struggling and looked in his eyes, my vision cloudy.
"You didn't answer any of my texts. I thought you were mad at me."
"I haven't checked my phone for hours. I didn’t get your texts."
Then, I realized that Drake didn’t know what happened.
"I'm sorry," I said and hit my head with a fist. "You have to understand how it made me feel to see you like that," I managed, my voice shaky. "I've been away all weekend, missing you so much, and what do I find but you alone with her. A woman you've had sex with. And she's giving you a massage." Then I took in a deep breath. "And something else. Sefton said and did some things to me this weekend and I…" I said, hesitating. "It looked so intimate I thought you were with her..."
"What did Sefton do?" he said, his face blanching. "Tell me." He pulled me to a set of couches in a tiny alcove and I sat beside him.
"I sent you texts about it. I think Claire misinterpreted…"
"Kate, you’re not making any sense. Tell me what happened."
I stared in his eyes, trying to get control over my emotions.
"Sefton was drunk and followed me to my tent after dinner. He tried to kiss me, and Claire came in and saw. She thought we were together. I couldn’t talk sense into her. She said she thought you and I were wrong for each other. I figured Claire would have told Michael or even called you or texted you."
Drake only frowned, his eyes half-hooded. "Go on."
I could see he was really upset. "I had to tell him I was going to scream if he didn't leave me alone. He finally left."
"Did he kiss you?"
"No, no," I said. "You have to understand. I did nothing to encourage him. You know how I feel about him. He's pushy and rude."
"I knew you shouldn't have gone on the safari alone when I found out he was going, but I didn’t want to stop you. I knew how much it meant to you."
"I'm sorry," I said and tried to smile past my tears. "Claire knows about you."
Drake frowned. "What do you mean?"
"She said something about your peculiarities. Drake, she knows you're into kink," I said, my voice lowered to a whisper.
He exhaled loudly and leaned back, running his hands through his hair. "I don't need this right now. Goddammit" he said, his voice almost a shout. He turned his face away from me as if he was too angry to look me in the eyes.
I stood and started walking, because I was getting too upset to sit there, afraid that he blamed me for everything. Afraid that Claire knowing about Drake's 'peculiarities' was a threat to him.
He followed me, keeping a few feet behind. I walked aimlessly through the halls, having no idea how to leave the building. He seemed content to let me wander without stopping me, saying nothing, but kept close to me, as if he was giving me space and time to calm down.
"You're going in circles," he said finally when I found myself back at the bank of elevators where he first caught up with me. I stopped and stood with my eyes closed, trying to breathe in deeply. "Kate, let me get my things and we'll go home."
I didn’t say anything. Finally, he heaved a great sigh and reached out his hand to me. I stared at it, not taking it.
"Let me lead you to safety," he said, a touch of humor in his voice. "This place is like the labyrinth in Greece. You could get lost and wander forever. I swear I've seen the Minotaur here once or twice late at night…"
I looked at him. He was smiling, his blue eyes crinkling in the corners.
"Don't do that," I said, dragging my eyes away from him, frowning to keep from smiling.
"Do what, Ms. Bennet?"
"Don't try to make me smile."
He stepped closer and ran his hand down my arm. "I don’t want you to be upset," he said, his voice soft. "I don’t want you to misinterpret what you saw. I want you to listen to me and to believe me when I say not to worry. I'm doing everything in my power not to misinterpret what happened with you and Sefton."
"When I saw you with her, both of you in scrubs, I thought you belong with her. She's tall and beautiful and a surgeon… And Claire said—"
"Forget what Claire said. I don't belong with Sam," he said and pulled me closer, holding my face in his hands. He forced me to look in his eyes, and he had this look on his face. So strong. So… knowing. Like he knew me so well that he knew what I was thinking and feeling.
"I know you don't want Sefton. You were ready to stay home because he'd be there, but I encouraged you. This is all my fault." Then he stroked my cheek. "Kate, I belong with you. I am with you. You have to understand that. Accept that you have nothing to fear from Sam. Or anyone. Do you believe me?"
"I do," I said finally, forcing myself to shut off my emotions.
"No, you don't," he said and took me in his arms, pulling me against his body. "If you did, you'd be putting your arms around me and kissing me."
I wanted to believe Sam was nothing to him, like Sefton was nothing to me, but I wouldn’t be able to get the image of her touching him out of my mind's eye.
Finally, he let go of me and took my hand, despite my not taking his. He led me down the hallways and back up to where his office was located.
"Here," he said and closed the door. He pulled me over to a small couch, against a wall by a window that looked out over the courtyard. "Sit with me for a moment."
He sat on the couch, his arms spread out on the back – like he had that first night in my apartment. Seeing him like that aroused something in me that I couldn’t name – a sense of surrender that I fought despite my desire to comply. I stood in front of him, wanting to give in and sit on his lap like I knew he wanted me to, but for some reason, I held back and stood mute, looking around the small office.
"Katherine," he said, his voice low, commanding. I dragged my eyes to his face. He leaned back, his eyes expectant, no humor in his expression any longer. "Sit with me."
"I've been sitting all morning."
"Poor excuse," he said, his voice sounding tired. Like he was fighting to be patient with me. "Sit on my lap."
"Why?" I said, still resistant. "So you can overcome me with your seductive Master D ways?"
"Yes," he said, a grin starting on one corner of his mouth.
I looked straight at him. God, he was so damn gorgeous. His legs were spread wide, his arms out on the back of the couch, his head leaning back, his black hair a bit wild, falling on his forehead and down his neck. His eyes were bleary from lack of sleep. Underneath those blue scrubs, which made his eyes even more strikingly blue, his eyelashes more strikingly thick and black and long, was his deliciously firm and sculpted body.
I was such a fool.
I went to him and did exactly what he demanded, sitting on him, my thighs straddling his hips, my arms around his neck. I kissed him finally, emotions overwhelming me from being away from him all weekend, the things Sefton had said and done, seeing Sam touching Drake. I kissed him like my very life dep
ended on it, my tongue finding his, and when it did, he groaned, slipping his arms around me, pulling me tightly against him, his sharp intake of breath making my insides melt. He sucked my tongue into his mouth hungrily and my entire body responded, shaking from the intensity of my love and desire for him.
He pulled back, breaking our kiss. "I'm so sorry she did that and you had to see it," he said, his voice filled with emotion. "She means nothing to me. Nothing. Only you. You're everything to me."
He pulled me back into his arms, kissing me hungrily once more, his hands sliding up my back, under my shirt, one hand slipping around to cup my breast through my bra.
"Oh, God, I missed you, Kate. I don't want you going away without me again. It was hell thinking of you alone with him where I should have been. I hated it."
"You seemed fine with me going despite him being there," I said.
"I didn’t want to deny you the chance to go on safari." He ran his fingers through my hair. "I wanted to be with you on safari. I wanted to look at the stars with you – at night in the middle of the savannah. Instead, it was him." He shook his head. "I was incredibly jealous, but I knew I couldn't keep you from going, even if he was there. You're an artist and you need to do art."
I ran my fingers over his shoulder. "I don’t know if I am an artist." Sefton's words came back to me. "I don't know if what I do is really art."
"How can you say that?" Drake said, frowning. "Your teacher invited you to take the master class. It means she sees you as an artist, even if you don't."
" It's OK," I said. "I'm trying to be an artist." I took in a deep cleansing breath. "Let's go home."
He nodded and kissed me once more.
"Oh, Ms. Bennet," he said when the kiss ended. He smiled, touching my cheek with the backs of his fingers. "I missed you so much. I didn't want to go home and have to sleep alone in our bed. I couldn't face it so I stayed here and slept on a bunk. Don’t leave me ever again."
I smiled at that and kissed him. "I won't."
"I mean it," he said, his voice somber. "Promise me we'll never spend another night apart."
