And when it came to his marriage-to-the-military-or-marriage-to-a-woman-but-not-to-both philosophy he’d strictly adhered to it. As long as he was married to the military, he’d remained steadfastly single. Now, in considering marriage to her, he’d worked out a plan to leave the marines and serve his country in another fashion.
But she hadn’t given what he was telling her a single ounce of credence. Not even for one split second had she believed that he would leave the military for her.
Instead, she’d immediately put up the protective wall she used now to keep her hopes from getting crushed again.
Kinsey stopped filling containers with leftovers and pinched her eyes shut at the realization that she’d done something really unfair to him by clumping him together with the other people in her life who had disappointed her.
And what if she hadn’t shot Sutter down? she asked herself when she opened her eyes and took the leftover containers to the refrigerator. What if she’d taken his word along with his proposal?
His proposal...
For the first time the reality of what he’d actually done sunk in.
Sutter had proposed to her!
He’d told her he loved her. Loved her so much he was willing to alter the course of his life to be with her. That he wanted to alter the course of his life to be with her, to have a family with her. To give her what she’d told him she wanted.
But somehow she’d barely even heard that part. It had been secondary to his claim that he would leave the military—a claim she’d judged false.
But Sutter had asked her to marry him...
Sutter. Who had knocked her socks off the first time she’d ever set eyes on him. Who she’d been so drawn to that she had been distracted from everything else. Who had been on her mind day and night since she’d met him.
Sutter, who was military strong yet gentle. Who was intelligent and funny and warm and sweet. Who was patient and reasonable. Generous and kind. Who was a man of honor and dignity behind a face and body that took her breath away.
And yes, when he’d said what was between them was amazing, he was right. Since the moment he’d left her bed this morning, her body had ached to be back in his arms. Back in that bed with him.
But.
She took another breath and sighed as she threw away the takeout boxes and asked herself if her feelings for him were real.
Because not only wasn’t she coming to this the way she’d wanted to come to another relationship—with a firm foundation of family already filling her life. She was coming to this on the very day that she’d tested the waters with the woman she believed to be her grandmother and not been welcomed with open arms. On the very day that all her brothers’ misgivings had been proven accurate, leaving her questioning whether or not she would ever be a part of the Camden family at all.
Which meant that, if not for Sutter, she could very well be looking at more of the solitary, lonely life she was trying to remedy.
So was he the fallback? Was she grasping at something to fill the void? In order to just have someone? Was she sure that she wasn’t considering settling for a man she’d regret being with down the road?
It was everything she’d worried about since her mother had died, since she’d even considered settling for Duncan right after that. She didn’t want to cheat herself out of true happiness with a spouse she loved—and she didn’t want to cheat Sutter out of that, either.
Just then the front door opened and Sutter came in with Jack.
Sutter was dressed in a gray hoodie. Jeans. Nothing special. His arm was in the sling.
And all it took was that one look at him to know. To bring tears to her eyes at the realization of just how much she loved him.
This great, wonderful man who had been there for her when she’d had doubts about there being a place for her with the Camdens.
This great, wonderful man who had been there for her again today when she’d confronted GiGi.
This great and wonderful man who was willing to change his entire life to be there for her. Who was everything she’d always wanted.
Had she actually worried she was settling for Sutter? There was no more ridiculous a thought. Except maybe that her feelings for him might not be real.
Yes, her feelings for him had been born at a time when she was lonely, when she still didn’t have the foundation she was looking for in the Camdens.
But those feelings had been born without the slightest chance or hope that he’d be the solution to that loneliness. In fact, they’d been born in spite of believing wholeheartedly that there was no future for them.
Only now a future with him was what he was offering.
Except that she’d totally blown it.
And thrown his proposal back at him.
And basically called him a liar.
Sutter didn’t see her watching from the distance of the kitchen, but once Jack was off leash the puppy charged her, jumping up on her leg, tail wagging and demanding attention.
She knew she wasn’t supposed to reward him for bad behavior but she bent over to pet him just the same.
Then she picked him up to hold him for moral support and found that Sutter had come down the hallway from the entry and now stood in the doorway to the kitchen.
He looked so good. But so drained.
“I’m sorry!” Kinsey blurted out impulsively.
His eyebrows arched. “Okay...” he said. “For?”
“Being a muttonhead this afternoon. I know what you said came from you, but I sort of heard it as if it was coming from other people...if that makes any sense.”
She went on to explain what she meant, telling him that she was wrong not to have taken what he’d said on its own merit, to have so easily dismissed it.
“But you actually told the colonel!” she marveled.
“Because it’s what I’m going to do, Kinsey. And if you need to wait until it’s done—until I’ve officially ended my service and started working here—before you’re convinced, then that’s what it takes.”
“Meaning you haven’t just written me off?”
He laughed a weary laugh and said, “Just because you were a muttonhead this afternoon? I think, given all the burdens you’ve carried alone since you were no more than a kid, on top of what you went through today with GiGi, that you’re entitled. But I don’t give up that easily. I’m a marine, remember?”
“And you’ll forgive me?”
“Anything.” He smiled a lopsided smile and nodded at Jack. “Except maybe messing up that mongrel’s training.”
Kinsey breathed a sigh of relief and set Jack on the floor. Then she closed the distance between her and Sutter and raised a hand to his cheek. “I love you and that should have been what I said this afternoon.”
He frowned slightly. “Is there a but coming? Because it sounds like there is.”
“But it worries me if you’re leaving the military for me. It worries me that you’ll regret it and resent me.”
“Then think of it as me leaving the military for the vets who need help here at home. That might only be in second place as reasons go, but it still carries weight. And there’s the colonel, too. The regrets I have for not being with my dad at the end. I don’t want to have those same feelings about the colonel—no matter how damn crabby she can be.”
He put his free arm around her, pulling her closer, and her hand dropped from his face to his chest.
“But mostly,” he said in a
quiet, very serious voice, “I’m leaving the military for myself. Because I want a life with you. Kids with you. Looking at the rest of my life without you, and thinking about coming to the end of it alone, or with you and a couple of kids and grandkids and the full boat of family, I choose the full boat over the empty one. My choice. So stop worrying.”
“And what if this thing I’ve started with the Camdens goes really, really bad? If you’re with me it could affect your relationship with all of them.”
“I’ll take my chances. I know it won’t change anything with Beau, but if it happens with the rest of them, then so be it. No Camden—not even Beau—is as important to me as you are. If being with you makes me an outcast, then okay, I’ll be an outcast. As long as I can have you.”
Kinsey hoped that didn’t happen but she loved him too much, and wanted him too much, not to take him at his word about this.
“So marriage, huh? With the marines as your ex-wife?” she said then.
He laughed. “I never thought about it like that, but yeah, I guess so.”
“Then okay.”
He grinned down at her. “Okay, you’ll marry me?”
“Did you want more fanfare?” she asked, referring to what he’d said when he’d proposed.
“Nope. I just want you. I don’t need bells or whistles, an okay will do just fine.”
He kissed her then, a long, slow, sweet kiss that lured her in and quieted any lingering tensions. When he finally pulled away, he looked deeply into her eyes.
“I love you, Kinsey. And from this minute on I will always do my damnedest to be there for you.”
Her eyes grew misty again. “I love you, too,” she said through a tight throat.
As she worked to gain control over herself, she ran a tender hand over his injured shoulder. “You’ve had the sling on all day today—did we do damage last night?”
His grin this time was smug. “No, I was letting it rest up. Just in case...”
He kissed her again, a kiss that brought down all the walls and allowed feelings to flood out and take over.
And as Kinsey gave in to it all, the thought passed through her mind that the Camdens might not ever accept her or her brothers as their own.
She still held out hope that things with them might work out. That she could ultimately have Sutter and a grandmother and cousins and half brothers and sisters along with Conor and Declan and Liam.
But while it would add to the joy of her wedding, to the happiness of sharing news of a baby to come, of a baby born, while it would add to the love that baby could have...if they never recognized her, it wouldn’t lessen any of that happiness or joy for her.
Sutter really was all she needed, all she wanted. Extended family would only be the frosting on the cake.
And at least while the issues with the Camdens worked themselves out, she would have Sutter. And the colonel. And Jack.
And a future that she knew would fulfill her every dream.
Right there in Sutter’s arms.
* * * * *
Don’t miss the next book in Victoria Pade’s CAMDEN FAMILY SECRETS miniseries, coming soon from Harlequin Special Edition
Keep reading for an excerpt from PREGNANT BY MR. WRONG by Rachael Johns.
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Pregnant by Mr. Wrong
by Rachael Johns
Prologue
As Bailey Sawyer stepped into the warehouse at McKinnel’s Distillery, goose bumps painted her arms and her stomach twisted as if doing some elaborate macramé. She glanced around the quiet space, looking and listening for signs of Quinn.
This had always been her favorite part of the distillery. Its walls were lined with new American oak barrels, stacked up one on top of another, almost up to the high ceiling, and there were rows upon rows of barrels down the middle as well, all printed with the famous McKinnel’s logo on the end. The thick wooden floorboards almost matched the color of the barrels and the scent of whiskey at various stages of the aging process blended together in the air.
She inhaled deeply, experiencing a heady rush as memories of this place washed over her. She’d been coming to the distillery for as long as she could remember. McKinnel’s Distillery, a local institution, had become famous for creating one of America’s best boutique whiskeys long before boutique distilleries, breweries and wineries were all the rage. As a child and teenager, she’d hung out here because her mother was best friends with Nora McKinnel. Bailey and the seven McKinnel kids had spent many a day running rampant through the warehouse, chasing each other, playing hide-and-go-seek, making mischief and memories. It had been better than a playground.
For the past five years, she’d been a regular guest due to the fact she’d been dating and then (briefly) engaged to Nora’s oldest son, Callum. Their moms had been ecstatic about the union, then dumbfounded and devastated when Bailey had ended it a couple of weeks ago.
But they didn’t know the half of it.
The macramé in her stomach tightened as she stepped farther into the building, her knee-high boots echoing as they struck the floor. Today, the familiar scent and the innocent childhood memories didn’t calm her. Instead, guilt warred with desire as she called out “Quinn” (before she lost her nerve) and remembered the last time she was in here with him. Although it was late November, the day after Thanksgiving, and the air in here was even cooler than the temperature outside, her whole body, from her fingernails right down to her tippy-toes, heated at the recollection.
She hadn’t been cold that night a few weeks ago, either. Quinn’s hot bare skin against her own had provided more warmth than an electric blanket, and however wrong it may be, she hadn’t been able to get him out of her head since.
“What are you doing here?” Quinn stepped out from behind a row of barrels, jolting her thoughts and almost scaring her half to death.
Her heart quivered at his less than enthusiastic greeting, but her hormones jumped up and down in excitement at being so clo
se to him again. He wore only jeans ripped at the knees and a black T-shirt, indicating he’d been doing some physical labor before her arrival. She licked her lips, garnering the courage to speak, the wisdom to know what exactly to say, and tried not to stare at the way his lovely arm muscles peeked out from the sleeves of his T-shirt. He was ripped—that was for sure.
“I thought we should talk about, you know, what happened...” She didn’t need to finish her sentence. It didn’t take a genius to work out what she was referring to.
Quinn let out an irritated sigh and ran a hand through his thick dirty-blond hair. Despite his obvious annoyance at her presence, Bailey’s fingers twitched as she remembered how it had felt when she’d knotted her hands at the back of his head while he’d thrust into her. Her cheeks flamed.
“What’s there to talk about?” he asked.
“Well...” she began, swallowing, “I can’t stop thinking about what we did that night and wondering what it meant. You and I, we...”
He held up a hand as if scared she might try to come nearer to him. “It meant nothing, Bailey.”
“Nothing? We slept together.”
He shrugged one shoulder. “We had sex. That’s all it was. It shouldn’t have happened. But it did. End of story. Now, if you don’t mind, I’ve got work to do.”
He gestured toward the door, dismissing her as if she were nothing more than a pesky child. Her cheeks burned, but it was a different kind of heat than before, and inside her organs felt as if they’d turned to ice. What had she been expecting? That Quinn would decorate the warehouse with balloons and crack open a bottle of expensive champagne on her return? That maybe they’d repeat their shenanigans of that fateful night?
As if. A few weeks ago, she’d been engaged to his brother. Yesterday, when she and her parents had stopped by Nora’s place to wish their old friends a Happy Thanksgiving, it hadn’t been the awkwardness between her and Callum that got to her, but the way Quinn had barely met her eye. Except for one question about how she knew the woman Callum had brought as his date, Quinn had barely spoken to her. And that hurt more than she’d imagined it ever could.
The Marine Makes His Match Page 19
