For some reason, she felt a cold uneasy knot form in her stomach. She shivered and wrapped her mantle closer around her. She nodded. “I’m fine, Edward. I’m just a little tired.”
The next morning, Aislinn awakened to agony, the same as before only this time it was more intense. Desperate to reach someone to help her, she managed to drag herself to the door before she couldn’t take the pain. She felt the warm liquid between her legs as she collapsed to the floor, her heart squeezing in anguish for she realized that she was losing the baby. A low, tortured sob nearly choked her as she tried to will it not to happen.
Moira was carrying a breakfast tray for Aislinn, when she came upon her lying on her side curled up like a ball. With a gasp, she let the tray fall from her grasps. “Milady!” She ran to her side to see the pool of blood. Aislinn was still breathing, but her tear-streaked face and lips were almost white in color.
A shiver of panic coursed through her as she ran for help.
“Moira, where do ye go in such a hurry?” Teige questioned as he was coming out of the Great Hall with Dermot.
She immediately grabbed his arm. “Ye must hurry. It’s milady. Her life’s blood is slipping out of her.”
Teige didn’t waste a moment’s time and ran ahead of Moira to the top of the stairs. “What’s happened?” he yelled behind him.
“I think it’s the baby,” Moira offered her dreaded opinion as she fought to keep up with him.
“A.J?” Aislinn looked up when she heard Teige call her name. He didn’t even know where to begin to help her. God, there was so much blood.
“It’s too soon.” Aislinn moaned clutching her stomach as the contractions began again.
Dermot had arrived and knelt down beside her. “Milady?” His trembling hand touched her shoulder.
“Find Cahir now,” Teige ordered.
“No!” Aislinn forced the words from her lips. “No. Neala. Send for Neala.”
Dermot looked questionably to Teige. “Do as she asks.” He looked back to Aislinn, fearing for her life and feeling helpless to do anything about it. He gently scooped her up in his arms. Her moan made his insides churn. “A.J., ye are going to be all right.”
Neala finally came out of Aislinn’s room to find Teige, Dermot and Moira standing there with wide-eyed, frightened expressions. She wasn’t sure if she could give them much encouragement. Aislinn was weak, body and soul, but now this added burden…. She sighed before she spoke. “She still lives.” Teige could see that there was more and moved forward when she motioned him to follow. They walked a distance away before she spoke again. “The child did not make it.”
Teige leaned against the cold stone. “And A.J.? Will she recover?”
“I do nah know what the gods have in store, but she is here now.” She studied the young man and noted his genuine concern for Aislinn. She could trust him. “Do ye know where the fool has gone?”
“Ye mustn’t say such things.”
Neala chuckled. “Ah, but ye knew whom I spoke of, did ye not?”
He didn’t comment and she continued, “If ye can get word to him, ye must do so now.” She didn’t wait for him to answer but started on her way.
“Where are ye going? Are ye not going to stay with her then?” “Nay. There is nah more I can do.”
Just then Cahir came up the stairs in a huff. “I demand to know why I was not summoned.”
Dermot’s and Teige’s gazes met, knowing that there was going to be trouble. Moira shrank away wishing she could dissolve into the walls.
“Well?” Cahir again asked. “I am the physician here.”
“No one said that ye were not,” Neala spoke up. “Ye were nah where we could find ye. There was nothing ye could have done anyway.”
“I should be the judge of that.” He strode to the bedroom door, but Teige stepped in front of it. “What is this, Teige?”
“Milady is resting now. Neala told ye already there is nothing more that any of us can do.” At that moment, Dermot came forward too and it was quite clear that the two would use force if he tried to enter the room. “Very well. If the fool woman dies, then it will be yer heads.” He turned on his heels and strode down the stairs.
Neala glanced to Teige. “She does not need that man’s company. I will be here tomorrow to check on her.” She moved on her way. “Cahir could cause trouble.” Moira was sure of it.
“Nothing we cannot handle.” Teige put a hand on her shoulder. She looked up at him with such trusting eyes and nodded. He prayed that what he claimed was true. Cahir was a powerful man and there would be others that would side with him.
“I will check on milady,” Teige told the two. “Dermot, let me know immediately if Cahir returns.”
“Aye.”
Aislinn was awake, but she did not look at him when he came to sit by her. Silent tears poured down her face and he gently brushed them away. She flinched from his touch. “A.J.?”
“Please go away,” she sobbed. “Just go away.”
“I will send word to milord of what has happened.” “No!”
“But milady….”
“No.” She looked at him, pleading with him not to go against her wishes.
“I don’t want him here. Please promise me you will not send for him. Promise me, Teige.”
“Aye, milady. I will do as ye wish.”
Aislinn curled to one side helpless to stop the tears. She felt her stomach where life had just begun to grow and now there was only emptiness. A new rush of tears sprung to her eyes.
Neala brought potions to Aislinn and they had begun to heal her body, but the heart and mind were another matter. Aislinn had withdrawn from everyone. Not even Lynelle or Regan’s antics could bring her out of her melancholy. Moira wished that Declan could have been here, for she was sure that the little boy would have been able to draw her out of her deep depression.
Days moved to weeks. Aislinn almost never left her room, taking her meals there and returning most of the portions untouched, or when she did manage to eat something, her stomach rebelled making her ill. Moira was beside herself with worry for she feared Aislinn didn’t want to get better. She had witnessed more than once how she still grieved with her trembling hands covering her face, giving vent to the agony of her loss with tears. She knew Lord Dougray needed to be brought back and soon, before it was too late. He was Aislinn’s husband. Surely he could make her want to get better.
Moira set out to find Teige.
Cormac had spotted her first and nudged him. She didn’t waste time and spoke at once for fear that she would lose courage to ask him. “It’s milady.” “Is she worse?” Teige flew to his feet but Moira stopped him with her next flow of words.
“Nay, not exactly. Ye know that she is not taking care of herself. She is frightfully thin, Teige, and will not take nourishment. We must convince her that she should not give up on living.”
Had it gone that far? he thought to himself. “I don’t know what else we could do.”
“She needs her husband,” Moira stated simply.
Cormac, who had been silent, now spoke up. “He did not wish to be disturbed unless there was an emergency.”
“And ye don’t constitute the life of his wife important?” Moira shocked herself with her rash words, but she would not take them back. She was desperate. She looked at Teige again begging him to do the right thing.
Finally he sighed, knowing his promise to Aislinn would have to be broken. “I will bring him back.”
When Moira smiled with such adoration, he couldn’t help but think he was doing what was right.
Chapter 64
Miriam had just about enough of her brother’s moping around. He had arrived over three and half weeks ago, with the little boy Declan MacKenna, without so much as an explanation why Aislinn had not accompanied them. “Are ye going to tell me, or must I beat it out of ye?” She saw Murrough’s startled look but it didn’t deter her from her interrogations.
“I just wanted to visit with
ye, dear sister.”
She scornfully laughed at him. “Ye think that I am a dolt? Do not offend me with this mock pretense. Something dire has happened to give ye such a long face. Either ye confide in me, or I will have ye thrown out on yer ear.” Murrough came to his feet and she turned to glare at him. “I know that ye are a loyal friend, but this is my brother. I will ask ye not to interfere.”
“As ye wish, milady,” Murrough chuckled. He was all for Miriam forcing Dougray to speak about what was troubling him. “I was only going to let the two of ye have some privacy.” He bowed slightly and left the room.
“Well?” She tapped her foot with impatience.
“Oh, Miriam, ye can be so dramatic.” He rose to his full height. “I just wanted to….” He met her gaze and he knew he was not going to get away with another flippant response. “Very well if ye are going to be…Dar Dia!” He ran his hand through his hair and just spat it out. “Aislinn is with child.”
Miriam raised her brows wondering why this didn’t seem to please him. “She didn’t want children,” he said flatly. “At least that is what she told me.”
“She will warm up to the idea surely. I saw for myself how wonderful she was with the children and Declan sings nothing but praise. That boy loves Aislinn if ye didn’t know this already.”
“Aye. I know. I don’t understand her, Miriam.” He sat down again. “I thought that perhaps she would grow to love me…I even thought that maybe she did.”
“What has changed yer mind?” “She went to see Neala.”
“The old woman of the woods?”
His expression was grim as he nodded. “She asked for the herbs…. Miriam, she didn’t want to have my baby.”
She was stunned by his words and by the torment she heard in his voice, but she refused to condemn Aislinn. Surely there had to be more to all this. “But ye stated that she is with child now?”
“She is. Aye.”
“Then does it not make sense that she didn’t take the herbs?”
This question was something he had been mulling over and over again in his mind. Neala had told him she had only visited her once and the container still appeared full.
He looked at his sister. “I think she tried to tell me that, but I refused to listen to her explanation. I have begun to believe that I may have been rash in my decision to denounce her.” He said these words tentatively as if testing the idea.
“Men often don’t listen to their women. It is not yer fault that ye were born inferior.” She tried to tease him out of his melancholy. He managed to give her a quick smile.
“I guess I’ve been acting the fool.”
She walked over to him and gave his handsome face a kiss. “Ah, but what a wise man ye have become to realize yer mistake.”
“I am sorry, milord, milady,” Murrough interrupted. “Teige is here with a message from Dunhaven.”
Dougray rose to his feet anxious to know why Teige himself would make the long journey when he had been left in charge to guard Aislinn. “Show him in.”
The young man’s usually clean hair was matted against his scalp and his legs and tunic were muddy. Obviously he had ridden hard and long to get here. “Milord, ye must make haste back to Dunhaven.”
“Has there been another raid?” “No, milord…it’s Lady Aislinn”
Dougray grabbed a hold of Teige’s arms, an uneasiness spreading through him. “What has happened?”
“She is very ill, milord.”
He released him then thinking this was not a concern. “She is with child. Women are often….”
“Nay,” he interrupted. “Soon after ye left…” He gave a worried look to the others before he gave the dreaded news. “…there was so much blood and milady would have surely died if Neala hadn’t seen to her. I am sorry, milord, the child did not make it…too small to hold on to life.”
A stabbing pain burrowed deep in his chest and he closed his eyes for a moment before he pinned Teige down with an accusing stare. “Why did ye not send word immediately?”
“I apologize, milord, but milady insisted that ye would not want to be bothered. I only agreed for I thought that she would recover. Neala was able to stop the hemorrhaging, but her spirit, milord. She stays too much to herself.
It is like she has no more life in her. Moira and I have heard her sobs when she thinks that no one is listening. It’s a woeful sound, milord.” He shook his head obviously at wit’s end.
Dougray was not prepared for this news. How could anyone be? He felt guilty, no… selfish, for he had known that Aislinn didn’t look well when he rode away from Dunhaven, but he left her anyway. “What have I done?” he said more to himself. He had run away not wanting to hear her words. He had wanted her to suffer as she had tortured him, but not like this. Never like this.
He was silent for so long that the other three in the room wondered what he was going to do. Miriam went over to him making him look at her. “Ye must go to her, Dougray. Whatever yer differences are, ye must put them aside now and tend to her needs.”
He nodded. “Ready my horse, Teige.” “Aye, milord.”
“Are ye all right?” Murrough could see that his friend was raging a war within himself about the uncertainties he would have to face at Dunhaven. “What if she will not see me?” Dougray had thought of the possibility. He wouldn’t blame her, for he had forsaken her when she had needed him most.
“On last we spoke, she told me if I left to never come back.” Murrough lifted a brow. “Ye have to see her.”
“Don’t give me that accusing look, Murrough. I am just saying she may refuse me.”
“Then ye do not listen. Ye are her husband and can make that demand.” “And a fine one I have turned out to be too. My friend, I think that I should have remained single. I have buried one wife, and now have nearly killed the second.”
“Ye are not responsible for the miscarriage, Dougray.”
“I most likely did not help. I could see that she was having difficulties, and yet I did nothing to ease her mind. I argued with her, insulted her, and abandoned her all in one full sweep. I said things that she may never forgive me for.” He sat down again and Miriam moved beside him, wishing to comfort him in some way. “I left her,” he said simply. “I just left her.”
Murrough and Miriam exchanged troubled looks, but neither one said a word. They could only imagine what turmoil Dougray was going through.
Chapter 65
Long after Dougray and his men had left, Miriam received another visitor, one she feared would eventually leave her in despair, but still it did not stop her from seeing him again.
Their bodies and souls were connected in a way that no matter how many years had separated them the ties were not severed.
He had come to her out of curiosity, this much he had told her. He had thought to only view her from afar, but he couldn’t leave without speaking to her about the words Aislinn had left with him. Blessed Aislinn, she had sent him to her.
He dined with her that night, met her son, but they both knew that their time together must always be kept a secret from those who would never understand. He could only be hers for a little while and she would cherish every moment.
She felt him before she heard his voice rumble against her ear. “I have missed ye, ye beautiful lass of gold.”
She smiled and half-turned to receive his kiss. “And I ye, Tremain.” She looked again out the window toward where her son was jousting. “What do ye think of Oren? If ye were his father, would ye be proud?”
His gazed lingered to where the lad was making quite a showing. He indeed showed great potential. He had a presence about him that spoke of authority, without being overbearing and he was strong with grace and agility far beyond his years. “Ye should be proud of him, Miriam. I have a difficult time seeing how Sir Reynolds ever gave ye such a lad to be reckoned with.” She again smiled. “I have a difficult time with that myself. But ye did not answer my question. If the child were yers, would ye be proud o
f him?” “Aye, that I would. Ye have done well raising him.”
“Thank ye.” She turned to him then and her heart seemed to beat a little faster. He stood so tall and straight, like a towering oak. His eyes roved over her knowingly. He reached for her and she came willingly into his embrace. “God forgive me, Miriam. Ye should by all rights be my enemy, but I cannot help loving ye.”
“Please never stop, Tremain,” her voice broke. “Please never stop.”
His lips pressed against hers before he gently covered her mouth knowing that it was forbidden but not having the strength to stop.
Chapter 66
As they rode, Teige had given Dougray a detailed account of Aislinn’s condition, making him all the more desperate to get back to the hold. He had known others who were strong in body and had still succumbed to grief. If he could help it, he was not going to allow Aislinn to go without a fight.
He rode his mount like the tempestuous wind despite the rain- and mud- soaked ground that threatened to stop his advances. He arrived back at Dunhaven well ahead of the others. He was off his horse before the beast even came to a full stop.
“Tend to my mount; it was ridden hard,” he yelled over his shoulder to Hamish before he ran up the steps. “Where is Moira?” he bellowed.
Men and women alike scattered wondering what Moira had done to cause their lord to come back home with such a vengeance. He ignored the questionable looks and ran up the stairs. By this time, Moira was aware that Dougray was looking for her and met him in the hall.
He looked wild with his dark hair wind blown against his face and his blue-gray eyes blazing with anxious worry. He was intimidating before to the young woman, but now he looked like a wild man ready to slay his next victim. She took a step back nearly shaking with fear, but Dougray was oblivious to the terror he was invoking. “Answer. Is Aislinn within?”
Moira opened her mouth to say something but nothing came out.
“Speak, woman!” He didn’t wait for a response but charged into the chambers. It took him a moment for his eyes to adjust to the darkness and a second longer to see the huddled form of Aislinn sitting upon the windowsill with her chin leaning on her knees and her eyes staring at something that possibly only she could see.
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