Wordlessly, I took Jen's sandwich out of her hands and put it back in the bag along with mine as she looked at me questioningly. I smiled at her softly then pulled her over to sit across my lap, cuddling her close and not caring at all if anyone saw us. She immediately relaxed into me, sighing in contentment. I held her close with her head tucked under my chin, hesitant to bring up her asshole ex-boyfriend. I wasn't sure how to go about it without upsetting her even more, but she surprised me by beginning to speak about it without any prompting from me.
"I met Carter at homecoming my senior year," she said tremulously. "He was a college student, and I couldn't believe he was interested in me. I was astounded and flattered, and so very naive."
I tightened my arms around her, silently giving her comfort and reassurance.
"He was very handsome and extremely charming. He made me feel special and beautiful." Her voice turned bitter. "I believed him when he said he loved me. I thought I was the luckiest girl in the world."
I stifled a growl, clenching my jaw as anger surged inside me. Fucking prick.
"He took me out, bought me gifts, said all the right words. When I told him that I didn't want to rush into sex, he said he would gladly wait until I was ready for a physical relationship. He was patient and cunning. I think he got off on the game. That's all I ever was to him, and I didn't have a clue until it was too late. It didn't take long until I fell helplessly in love with him, and I thought I found my soul mate. He just found another gullible fool."
I heard unmistakable shame in her voice, and it ripped me apart. This asshole made his victim feel responsible for her own violation. I felt like breaking something, preferably this Carter's goddamn face. She let out a soft sigh before continuing.
"After a month or so, he started subtly pushing me for sex, and somehow managed to make me feel guilty about refusing for so long. I was afraid that he would leave me, so I finally gave in." She cuddled into me closer and said nothing for a moment. I ran my fingers through her hair, trying to console her and encourage her.
"It was awful," she finally whispered. "It hurt and I wanted to stop, but...but he wouldn't..." She took in a shaking breath. "He said if I loved him, then I would give myself to him. So...so I let him do it."
It was emotional blackmail and rape, and it made me feel sick. Who would use someone's love against them like that? What kind of fucked-up person did that? I might have been an asshole when I was younger, and this might be the first time I was in love, but I'd never resorted to anything so abhorrent just to have sex. I respected women too much for that. I just didn't understand how someone could do that to another person, and to violate them that way.
Her body started to shake, and I realized that she was crying. I held her close and rubbed soft circles on her back, trying to soothe her while impotent rage boiled inside me. It took a while for both of us to calm down before Jen spoke again.
"Afterwords, he was cold and distant. I asked him what was wrong, but he said he was fine and just left. I didn't hear from him for days after that. I was worried and scared that I did something to disappoint him when we had sex. I went to his apartment to talk to him, and...and he had another woman there with him." Jen bowed her head in shame, and a few more tears leaked from her eyes. "That was when I knew was a fool."
"Jenny," I whispered chidingly as I pressed my lips against her temple. "You are not a fool." She gave me a sad smile, and I could tell that she didn't really believe me.
"I went off on him, but all he did was laugh at me." Her voice was bitter again. "He said it wasn't his fault that I was a stupid slut. He told me that love didn't exist and to fucking grow up. I went home, humiliated and broken, and never saw him again." She took in a long shuddering breath. "I felt so used and ashamed, so I told everyone that he just dumped me. I never told a soul the truth about what really happened until I told you."
"Fucking bastard," I growled out between clenched teeth as I seethed inside. No wonder she thought she was damaged. This guy had really fucked with her head, and a sudden urge to hunt him down and beat the shit out of hit me. "He'd better hope to hell that I never get my hands on him," I snarled out harshly.
That got an actual smile out of Jenny. "I'd like to see that," she said in a low tone as her eyes turned fierce and burned with blue fire.
I smiled back at her. There was that fiery and feisty Jen that I loved.
"Thank you," she said as her face softened.
"For what, honey?" I asked gently as I ran my knuckles against her cheek.
"For listening to me, for wanting me despite my messed up past."
"Despite?" I shook my head in denial. "That's the wrong word choice, Jen. I want you because of who you are, and your past is part of that. Thank you for sharing it with me, and for trusting me with it." I caught her gaze and cradled her face in my hand as an undeniably urge to kiss her came over me. I thrust my lips against her, taking and claiming her almost savagely.
The kiss burned through me like liquid fire, filling my heart up until it threatened to spill over. My God, I wanted to tell her that I loved her right now, but after what she just shared, I knew now that I had to wait until she was ready to hear it. She trusted me, but I had to tread lightly. Her heart was fragile, and I couldn't push that on her too soon. I broke the kiss before I lost control, both of us left shaking and aroused.
"Ford," she whimpered in disappointment, her lower lip jutting out in an adorable pout that made my dick twitch.
"Tonight, honey, you'll have all of me," I rumbled out, my tone low and seductive. "I'm going to bind you with my rope and send you flying. And Jenny," I held her gaze with a sure commanding stare, my voice dripping with promise, "you're never going to want to come down."
Chapter 11
Jenny
"I want you naked and kneeling on the floor next to the bed, Jenny," Ford announced in a deep commanding rumble.
I turned from where I was just about to sit on his sofa to see him still standing near the door with his arms crossed over his chest. Ford's demeanor had changed completely from when we entered his apartment a moment ago. His indigo eyes glittered fiercely now, and his face had that firm uncompromising expression that made my heart race, and my body hot and flushed. I stared at him, my arousal immediate and intense. Oh yeah, I'd been waiting for this all day.
"Now," he snapped out with narrowed eyes when I didn't obey fast enough. I scrambled out of the room toward his bedroom, noticing the slight twitch of his lips as he fought not to smile at my enthusiasm. He was an intense and demanding Dom when we played, but he was also sweet, always taking care of me and making me feel safe. I loved both sides of the man equally. Love? Shit, not going to go there right now.
My eyes fell to the bed as I entered his bedroom, and I could see the same deep-blue rope he used on me last time, coiled neatly on top of the comforter. My pulse quickened, my breathing getting heavier with anticipation, and I knew that was exactly why Ford left it there for me to see. The thought made me smile.
I hastily slipped off my heeled boots, then stripped out of my jeans and T-shirt, folding them neatly and placing them on the dresser nearby. My bra and thong quickly followed a moment later, and I knelt down a few feet from the bed to wait for Ford. The gray rug in Ford's room was soft and plush, so I was fairly comfortable sitting on my heels with my hands on my lap. I bowed my head and closed my eyes as I waited for him.
Ford left work early today for our date tonight, and I met him here after going home to change after work. I thought that since both our STD tests were negative that he'd be in a rush to get me naked. However, he smiled wickedly when I asked about it, and he told me something this special couldn't be rushed. He told me that the anticipation would heighten the mood. It heightened it alright. I'd been impatient and unbelievably horny all night. He took me out for a bike ride and then for some truly amazing burgers and fries at a local bar, before taking us back to his place. The bike ride was pure torture since I was wrapped around him the w
hole time, feeling his powerful body shifting and flexing as he maneuvered the incredible machine with adept skill. It was incredibly sexy, and someday I was going to convince him to fuck me on his bike.
I felt him enter the room before I even saw him, his commanding presence suddenly filling up the room with masculine energy and controlled power. I loved when Ford became my Dom, sloughing off any pretense of civility to become the dominating lover who showed me pleasure like I'd never known. He always gave me what I needed, giving me a battle of wills when I craved it, and earning and mastering my submission completely. He was perfect for me.
"That rope is special," Ford said in a low tone that spoke of sex and pleasure. I opened my eyes and watched his bare feet come into view. They were partially covered by the fraying cuffs of his worn jeans. "Do you know why?" He knelt and touched my chin gently.
"No, sir," I whispered as I glanced up to meet his eyes, his touch a silent permission to look at him. His eyes were dark and enthralling, and their ferocity captured my gaze.
"It's never touched anyone but you," he whispered as his eyes softened. "It's only yours, Jenny."
A slow smile spread across my lips, and a heady pleasure that had nothing to do with sex came over me. "Ford," I murmured breathlessly.
"It will never touch anyone but you." His voice held a vehement edge as his eyes swam with emotion and dark need. "Never. Understand?"
"Y...yes, sir," I whimpered, touched and overwhelmed by Ford's words and how he made me feel. It was adrenalizing and potent, and like nothing that I'd ever felt before. Was this what love felt like? If so, then I'd never felt it before, and I never wanted to let it go.
"Stand up," he commanded as he rose to his feet again. I obeyed, happy to be distracted from thinking about the L-word.
Ford moved to the bed and picked up the coil of blue rope, then began to walk behind me. I unconsciously started to turn, following his movements.
"Eyes forward," he barked. "Do not move from that spot."
I turned back to face away from him without any resistance, not in the mood to fight him tonight. When Ford had his rope out, I didn't want to. I heard the rustle of clothing and hoped that meant Ford was taking his shirt off. The man's upper body was sheer perfection, with his rippling muscles and vivid tattoos. I wanted to see him. I hoped he didn't stay out of my line of sight for long. I considered sneaking a peek anyway, but his left hand was suddenly on my skin, sliding fluently up the length of my left arm to my shoulder, and I didn't care anymore.
"You love being in my rope," he murmured as his lips brushed against my ear. "I can tell, because you barely fight me when I use it. Right, honey?"
"Yes, sir," I whispered softly. Why would I want to? The way he made me feel last time was the most amazing thing I'd ever felt before. It'd been like floating on pure bliss, and I couldn't wait to feel that way again tonight.
Ford stepped up close behind me, and I groaned when I felt his naked body press up against mine. Holy shit, he took everything off. His massive and scorching hot erection bumped against my ass.
"Tonight," he said, his voice a soft caress, "it's just you, me, and the rope." He pressed a gentle kiss to the side of my neck, the scruff of his short beard tickling my skin. "Tonight, there's nothing between us, Jenny. Nothing." I shivered unconsciously, then groaned deeply as Ford began wrapping the two lines of the folded rope around me, below and above my breasts, the soft fibers gliding across my skin exquisitely. It only took him moments, his movements efficient and sure, and then he was bringing the rope over each shoulder and tying it off behind my back.
"This is a chest harness like last time, but this time I want your arms behind your back, honey." His tone was calm and soothing, but the undercurrent of command was laced through it. It was not a request. It was a demand. I complied immediately.
"Good girl," he rumbled. I shivered again. He wound the rope around my wrists, binding them together firmly with one on top of the other with my elbows bent at ninety degrees. I could feel the pull of my muscles and joints in the awkward position they were in. It wasn't unpleasant, just weird. I unconsciously tried to shift my arms. Ford paused, then moved to stand in front of me and looked at me with concern in his eyes. The man noticed everything.
"Does this hurt your shoulders?" he asked. "What's your color, Jen?"
"I'm green, Ford," I assured him in a breathy whisper. "No pain, just need to get used to it."
He nodded. "If it hurts at anytime, you will tell me immediately."
"Yes, sir."
"Now for the fun part," he growled out, his voice dropping down so low it made my sex clench. Oh my God, what is he going to do next?
He wrapped the rope around my waist. He stepped behind me again, his fingers brushing my overheated skin repeatedly as he worked. Then to my utter shock he brought the two lines of rope up between my legs from the back. I jumped and moved forward in surprise.
"Don't move," he commanded, and I stilled immediately. He stepped in front of me and began tying it off to the lines around my waist. I could feel the rope all along the delicate flesh from my ass to my pussy with firm yet gentle pressure. It made me feel filthy and naughty. Something hard was pressing against my clit now, and I glanced down to see that there was a knot in the rope resting on the sensitive little bundle of nerves. I shifted slightly, and the knot shifted against me, sending a shock of pleasure zinging through my body. I gasped. Ford let out a dark chuckle at my reaction. "You like that don't you?"
"Y...yes, sir," I whimpered out in pleasure.
"Wait until you feel me fuck you with that there," he said roguishly, his eyes ardent and glittering with desire.
"H...how?" I stuttered out, as desire flooded my senses. "The rope is in the way."
"Watch and learn, my gorgeous Jen," he whispered seductively. "Watch and learn." He kissed me with long leisurely strokes of his magical tongue, making me moan and shift on my feet. The knot moved again, sending another electric jolt through my clit. He pulled away with a low groan and said, "Spread your legs."
I complied and widened my stance, and the next thing I knew he was winding single lines of rope around each of my upper thighs. He wrapped each of them around one of the lines of rope over my sex. He pulled on the ropes, and I felt the lines spread apart over my pussy, baring my entrance. Ford tied them off, then he cupped my sex firmly in his left hand, one finger teasing my opening as his palm pressed the knot into my clit.
"See?" he growled as pleasure pulsed through my body. "Easy access."
Ford tormented me with his finger tip for a few moments until a long frustrated whine slipped out of my mouth.
"On the bed now," he demanded as he pulled his hand away. He led me to the edge of the bed and helped me onto my knees on the mattress. It made me realize just how very helpless I was right now. I wasn't frightened though, because with Ford, I didn't need to be. I trusted him completely, and I knew he would take care of me and keep me safe.
"What's your color, Jen?" he asked gently.
"Green, sir," I said with a slight breathy slur. I could feel myself slipping into subspace already, my mind flooding with the intoxicating pleasure of endorphins.
"Good girl," he murmured as he paused on his knees in front of me. He cradled my body against his for a moment, with his arms wrapped around me and his erection pressed tightly between us. He kissed me again, a blazing needful one that took my breath away. Waves of happy pleasure flowed through me like warm liquid, leaving me tingling all over. Ford pulled away and met my eyes, his gaze filled with deep affection as he smiled down at me.
"Jenny," he said in a raw whisper. "I..." he trailed off, his eyes deep blue pools of longing. I had a sudden suspicion that he was holding back what he wanted to say, and I was pretty sure that it involved the L-word. Part of me was absolutely terrified by the prospect, yet another part of me was elated. I was also sure that he was holding back to protect me from being overwhelmed, and for that I was grateful. It made me fall for him eve
n more.
"On your back now," he said as the moment passed, and he fell into his role as my Dom once more. He eased me down, bringing my head and shoulders down onto his pillow. Though not painful, it was awkward lying on my arms this way, but the pillow helped. "Bend your knees and spread your legs." I did, and Ford took up the rope again, binding my right calf and thigh together, and then the left. I was completely immobilized now, open and exposed for him. It was incredibly erotic, and the sensations made my breathing suddenly heavy with arousal. I moaned and writhed in my rope, adoring this vulnerable yet somehow secure sensation that consumed me.
"Color?" he asked as he leaned over me, his face hovering over mine, his eyes a little worried.
"So green, so good," I murmured breathlessly, euphoria pulsing through my body now. I felt drunk and high on Ford, and it was freeing and exhilarating. None of the problems in my life existed, not the pain or the insecurities. All that mattered was Ford and the way he made me feel powerful and alive. Where had he been all my life?
He smiled down at me, a smirk twisting his lips. "Good girl." His lips came down on my right nipple, and I gasped. I shifted my pelvis as much as I could, moving the knot again, and another jolt of electric fire coursed through me.
"Oh, Ford," I whimpered. "Oh please...I n...need to feel you inside me...w...want you now." Ford lifted his mouth from my breast and swore under his breath. His entire body shuddered above me as he held himself up on his forearms to keep from hurting me with all of his weight. I felt his hips between my thighs, the broad head of his cock coming to rest against my pussy, so teasingly close it drove me insane. "Please, please, please..." I begged shamelessly.
An Act of Restraint: Order & Chaos Book 1 Page 24
